Crosstalk: Stop playing with your uncle!

Chapter 94 Entrepreneurship Challenges
The satirical crosstalk masterpiece was successfully uploaded to the Internet that evening, and the comments were rapidly increasing. Many people saw themselves in the crosstalk.

It seems like it's talking about scammers, but actually it's talking about companies and enterprises. It's full of irony.

Crosstalk commentator comment: We still don’t know how many surprises Qi Long and Gao Dongqiang can bring us.

His literary jokes can rock the stage, his parent-child jokes flow smoothly, his narrative crosstalk about dreams of hell can make people feel as if they are in the story, and his acting crosstalk can be performed just like the real thing. Even today, some people still call him No. 38 Qiqi.

The evening party crosstalk was proven in the game carnival; not to mention the more vulgar ones, the three vulgar jokes were also easy to come up with!

Now there is another crosstalk full of satirical meaning, which can be said to be a real all-rounder.

The internet was full of praise, but in reality, Qi Long was explaining to his mother: Ruan Jingtian is not Ming Dao!

The program has not yet started, but photos of the CCTV planning meeting have been leaked, with photos of the six regular members of the official version of "Amazing Challenge" posted on them.

When Qi Long's mother saw him, she was a little surprised: "Ming Dao? I remember you watched other people's TV series when you were a teenager. You are still so young now?"

"That's Ruan Jingtian, also an idol drama actor, but he's not Ming Dao." Qi Long quickly explained. The two of them only look alike at first glance, but there are still differences if you look closely!
Qi Long's father was eating a cut apple: "Isn't Ruan Jingtian the one who was stabbed in the back? Isn't he a talented actor? How did he become an idol drama actor?"

“That’s Yin Xitian.”

"Oh, I remembered it wrong!"

Gao Dongqiang, who was a guest, told his godfather: "The names of people in the entertainment industry are hard to remember, Zhang Xinyi, Zhang Yuxi, Zhang Xinyu, Zhang Hanyun, Zhang Hanyu, Zhang Shaohan, Zhang Yixing"

"Okay, after hearing so many names, I only remember Zhang!" Qi's father laughed.

Qi Long said with a smile: "Dad, when you mentioned Zhang I still remember something from my childhood!"

Qi Long's parents looked over curiously, and Qi Long began to talk.

"When I was a kid, my master Mr. Hou had a poker friend named Zhang. That day, Uncle Zhang brought his children to visit my master's home. My master was playing cards with Master Dongqiang in the study, and his wife was not there to entertain me. I asked him what his surname was, and he said, 'No need to be named Zhang!'"

"Zhang can't be exempted from the expense!" Dongqiang naturally took over the conversation.

Zhang is the surname of the legendary Jade Emperor, so there is no need to be polite when introducing yourself.

"That's not certain. What if they are Li Zao Zhang? I would ask, are you Gong Chang Zhang or Li Zao Zhang? If they say Gong Chang Zhang, I would say that you are noble, because your surname is very noble. Have you eaten? Yes, I have. Then I will make tea for you and ask you to use the tea knife to cut the tea leaves for you."

"It's a very normal way to entertain guests!" Gao Dongqiang wondered what the meaning of this was.

"As soon as I left, I heard Uncle Zhang teaching his child, 'Look how polite his child is, you have to learn from him.' The kid said, 'I can do that, too.' Later, when I went to their home with my master, the kid asked, 'What's your last name?' My master said, 'Your last name is Hou!'"

"The surname Hou is not noble!"

"The child is just like me, keep asking: Are you a male or female monkey?"

"Ah? Is there such a question?"

"My master was also stunned, and said that from the biological structure, it should not be difficult to tell that I am a man. The child then asked: Have you eaten?"

"Is it okay to be castrated?" Gao Dongqiang was shocked, and Qi Long's parents were happy.

Castration means to castrate livestock.

"When the child saw that my master was still covered, he immediately shouted: I'll get the knife right away! My master was so scared, is he going to castrate me with the knife? Run!"

This is a true story. Qi Long couldn't help laughing at the time. The young man was beaten by Uncle Zhang. The memory is very clear.

A few days later, "Amazing Challenge" officially started recording, and the six regular members met and introduced themselves.

Immediately afterwards, the program team issued them 5,000 yuan in start-up capital to allow them to prepare for their entrepreneurship, and then started filming a one-day entrepreneurial challenge. However, before that, there was a prior task, which asked everyone to guess what the entrepreneurial content of the five people other than themselves would be.

The one who guesses the most correctly will get a staff member from the program team as an assistant for free.

Otherwise, if the business requires help from others, labor fees must be paid, with a minimum of two hundred.

This is the money-saving project. Everyone immediately started writing it down carefully on the whiteboard and everyone spoke one by one.

Qi Long first showed Sa Beining's part: "I think Mr. Sa should sell height-increasing shoes, height-increasing insoles, and height-increasing socks, and personally demonstrate on the spot how he can directly increase his height from 1.6 meters to 1.7 meters!"

Everyone else was laughing, how mean! Sa Beining had already run out and pretended to hit him.

Avoiding Xiao Sa, Qi Long also laughed for a while, and continued to read: "Nikomaiti, he should be selling mutton skewers, Xinjiang grilled mutton skewers, I guarantee that after eating one skewer, you will want two, and after eating two skewers, you will want three."

Nicometti nodded: "Mine is better than his, you are not slandering me!"

"I wrote everything objectively. Sa Beining himself couldn't accept that he was short. Let's take a look at the next one, Ruan Jingtian. The content of his entrepreneurial venture is: robbing a bank!"

"Hahahahahahahaha!" Everyone laughed so hard that they slapped their hands on the table. It was obvious that this was just a show effect and they didn't guess carefully. Is robbing a bank appropriate?

"I am playing a gangster, not a real gangster!" Ruan Jingtian shouted to the camera: "I am not a criminal in private!"

After everyone laughed, Qi Long said seriously, "Later, I thought he might not show this side of himself, so I changed it to selling autographs. He is an idol drama actor. He can not only sign Ruan Jingtian, but also Ming Dao. My mother mistook him for Ming Dao!"

"Hahahahahaha!" Everyone laughed again.

When they arrived at Shayi, Qi Long said that he could sell skin care products. On the left were photos of him when he was the school idol of the Military Art Academy and when he was Bai Zhantang, and on the right were his current photos, one before and one after skin care.

As for Yue Yunpeng, Qi Long estimated that he would sell food because: [He has big shoulders and a thick waist, so he is either a boss or a cook! ]

When Qi Long expressed his guesses, everyone laughed from beginning to end, especially when the unexpected "bank robbery" came out, they just laughed so hard.

In comparison, other people's guesses are not as entertaining as before, they are all serious guesses.

However, there is no point in making a serious guess, because it is difficult to guess what everyone is selling.

When the final answer was announced, no one guessed correctly.

Qi Long wants to sell healthy meals, Sa Beining wants to go to the countryside to collect unsold vegetables from farmers and sell them in the vegetable market, Ruan Jingtian wants to sell handmade soap, Sha Yi wants to make pancakes, and Nigomati wants to sell milk tea and coffee.

The most outrageous one is Yue Yunpeng. He said that his wife’s manicure costs a lot of money, so he wants to learn how to do manicure and then set up a small stall.

After hearing his entrepreneurial idea, Qi Long felt that there was a bottom line.

A girl who spends money on manicures must be very particular about the appearance. She would never choose a crosstalk actor who is obviously not a professional to do her manicures.
Since no one guessed correctly, they all needed to spend money to hire people. Even if they used their own assistants, they had to pay from the start-up capital, at least one hundred yuan per person.

Qi Long didn't look for anyone else and just used his assistant Xiao Chi!

Xiao Chi came to Qi Long and gave him advice: "Brother Long, I just talked to their assistants. The assistants of Sa Beining and Nigo Maiti have made KT boards and roll-up banners for promotion. Don't we have to do it?"

"No, no, it's just a waste of money. Just find a piece of cardboard and write on it with a marker!"

"What about the loudspeaker? It can play the shouts in a loop."

"No, no, no, why would a comedian use a megaphone to shout? A human voice will do!"

"Shall I buy you some throat lozenges?"

"No, no, why do you always want me to spend money? Everything should be frugal!" There is a better app on my mobile phone. Just click it and it will automatically take effect on the body, saving money!

Qi Long emphasizes frugality, and believes that money should be spent where it is needed most, and no unnecessary spending should be done.

However, he pays more attention to food hygiene and safety. He thinks transparent covers that can block droplets, sanitary gloves, and cutting boards for raw and cooked food should be used. As for the rest, they are acceptable but not necessary.

The next day, Xiao Chi went to purchase, while Qi Long used the software to look for food stalls for rent in the company park or small streets nearby where stalls were allowed.

It's not easy to find. I called and most of them don't rent for a day. There are some that rent for a day but don't allow filming.

But hard work pays off, and finally, he found a good place, a large company park near Baiziwan in the imperial capital.

There are a large number of office buildings consisting of seven or eight company parks. In the middle of the street is a food and snack street, which has been transformed into stalls like a school cafeteria. Each stall has supporting facilities such as a sink and a steam pot. The rental fee is eight hundred yuan a day.

It is cheaper to rent for a longer period of time, but more expensive if you rent for just one day.

The food in the capital is actually not that expensive. What is expensive is the labor and rent, so it won’t cost much if you buy food and cook it at home. The prices are higher outside.

When Qi Long and the camera crew that was following him arrived there, the person in charge was stunned.

You didn't mention the variety show filmed by CCTV on the phone, nor did you mention the recently popular crosstalk artist Qi Long. If you had told me earlier, I would have agreed.
"Teacher Qi, please waive the venue fee for us. This will also give us publicity."

"That's absolutely not possible. It's priced right!" He contacted them by phone because he was worried that they would give him a discount or free of charge because of CCTV's reputation and his familiar face.

Since it is a variety show for professional experience, the so-called star halo should be put aside.

He can't control others, this is what he demands of himself.

After confirming the stall, Qi Long asked Xiao Chi to come over and start cleaning up. Some merchants who were open later came over to watch the fun, and a few kind-hearted people even helped.

Although competitors are enemies and stores in the same food area are in competition, Qi Long only works for one day, so there is not much competition.

Who knows, because Qi Long is here, many people who only order takeout in the park may come to this area to eat tomorrow, and business may even get better!

(End of this chapter)