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Chapter 10 Cultivate team emotional intelligence and improve collective combat effectiveness (1)
Let the team have a common goal
In this chapter, I'll tell you some of the qualities you can use to have a happy life in a team and a more comfortable environment.How to integrate into a team and gain the trust of colleagues and superiors?This question has never been more important than it is today, because people are facing unprecedented levels of existential pressure.

The team can highlight the achievements of a person and make him a "god"; the team can also destroy a person and ruin him.The only thing you can do is to integrate into your environment, become a trustee of the power of the team, and then use and dominate this power, and finally lead and transform it.

First of all, you need to be consistent with your boss, especially into the team rules led and managed by your boss.

"So I would advise you out oknock off when it comes to quitting time so as to keep a step in step with your colleagues and bear the same pressure with them."

In companies in California, this is a passage I often hear, from employees of companies large and small.The translation means that if you find that you are the last person to turn off the lights in the office every night, you should seriously consider: How can you not be the last person?
Why does "last place" scare people so much?In fact, the opposite is true, people are fighting to be the last overtime hero to leave, trying to perform.Maybe you don't think about it, sometimes your boss doesn't want to see this situation.If he makes a rule to get off work at [-] o'clock every night, if there is no special work that requires you to be responsible to him alone, and you have to work overtime to complete it, you'd better leave on time at [-]:[-].

Complying with the commute system means that you are consistent with your boss.When I was doing research in a domestic company, I heard a boss tell me dumbfoundedly: "Whenever I want to determine the manager of a department, those employees start working overtime, and some even work until one or two o'clock in the morning; some managers Tell me that even in normal times, employees regard overtime as normal and ignore the company's regulations. In fact, I don't want overtime to become a common phenomenon in the company. Working hours may not necessarily translate into work efficiency. Do your best work in the time you have.”

If the words of his family cannot represent the real psychology of managers, then my experience and investigations in many companies have proved that this view is mainstream in the minds of department leaders.A workshop manager at Haier’s Qingdao headquarters told me that what he hates the most is when the bell rings, some workers are still working “hard” at their workstations and hope he can see them.Because he felt that the other party was challenging his "authority".He considers himself an outspoken manager, and if he wants his employees to work overtime, he must be honest about it.The actions of these workers are not only a kind of speculation, but also doubts and speculations about him.So, the manager told me categorically, "They're going to do their jobs for nothing, they won't get overtime pay, there's no reason for that."

When the boss makes a rule, it becomes a convention for the team.Complying with these rules is a sign of your obedience to your superiors.In this regard, you especially have to keep the same rhythm as your colleagues and not make yourself special, whether this special is aggressive or passive.If you plan to be the leader of the team, you should be careful not to lose yourself from the team and be isolated by others and your boss.

Second, maintaining the warmth of your relationship with your colleagues will help you in all directions.Generally speaking, getting along with colleagues is not a difficult task. A good relationship with colleagues can create a harmless living environment for you, making your work and life easier and more efficient.Some people who have problems in this area usually attribute the responsibility to the bad habits of their colleagues, but in fact they did not abide by the emotional intelligence rules of the team.The specific manifestation is that they lack sensitivity to the relationship with colleagues and are unwilling to change themselves to achieve consistency with colleagues.The biggest reason for you to maintain the enthusiasm of your colleagues is that you have a common goal to fight for.

The consistency of goals has been established. In the process of execution, you and your colleagues must show a sense of teamwork.Although everyone has their own role, they are also part of this big family.

When you are confused in this regard, you should reflect on it and correct it immediately, and let your colleagues know what you are doing and what you think.If you have a clear goal, a heart-to-heart connection, and a basic cooperation and friendship between you, it will be much easier to achieve your goal.On the contrary, if you always maintain a mysterious and inaccessible impression in the eyes of your colleagues, they will have many misunderstandings about you.

A co-worker relationship that lacks knowledge and understanding, I call it a "colleague relationship."This can have many nasty consequences:
It is difficult for you to get strong cooperation at work; it is difficult for you to gain the trust and support of your colleagues. He's a threat because of your shrouded mystique; it's hard for you to get promoted because people don't know you and you don't have charisma.

There will be many similar consequences, and we cannot predict them all.What is certain is that if you have maintained this cold colleague relationship, your prospects in this company will be mediocre and bleak, and there is no hope in sight.Even after another five or ten years, you will still be mediocre in this position, neither impressing people nor achieving any decent results.

The establishment of a good relationship requires you to communicate more with your colleagues and talk about your common work aspirations.

The value of communication can never be underestimated.It doesn't matter what your relationship is or how many previous feuds you've had, it can be positive.On the one hand, this can let you understand your job responsibilities; on the other hand, it can also let you know how the people around you view your work.

Effective communication will increase the temperature of the relationship between colleagues. Its biggest benefit is to make you more clear about your authority and responsibilities, and know how to move towards your goals.This is a virtuous cycle that will help you form a harmonious interpersonal relationship within the company and make you a good fit into the team.

This is what your boss wants to see, and they appreciate this behavior.Because in this way it is easy for him to cultivate a high-quality team.As subordinates, you have the same goal and show good obedience.The communication and other problems between colleagues are often solved quickly because of the fear of affecting the work, so that the work at hand is not affected. How can your boss not appreciate it?
In terms of increasing the relationship with colleagues, some attitude strategies in detail also need to be mastered.You must be interested in others, neither chatter to your colleagues all day long about work, nor be completely alienated, making him feel your indifference.You should seize the most favorable time for communication, such as just before going to work in the morning or before leaving get off work, or during lunch time. Greet your colleagues and have a friendly chat. For example, what kind of car do they go to and from work? How long have you been doing it?The quality of your attitude determines your success or failure, and ultimately determines the warmth of your relationship with your colleagues.

Again, establishing mutual understanding with colleagues requires you to have a proactive attitude and approach strategies.What do people need most?I believe you will not be surprised by the answer, it is "mutual understanding".The same is true for the relationship between colleagues and superiors and subordinates. Understanding is the spiritual basis for maintaining consistency. If you do not understand, no matter how tough the rules are, you will not be able to restrain people, and no matter how friendly your attitude is, it may only annoy the other party.So, you need to take the initiative to open this door of understanding.

You can consciously create some opportunities to chat, actively invite colleagues or superiors to participate, and get closer to each other.Of course, if you receive an invitation from others, you must accept it more readily. If there is no urgent matter, do not refuse.These interactions will help you develop a positive working partnership.

When you take the initiative to show that you have integrated into the team, please pay attention to whether you are too conscientious now, or a little out of group, or not responsible enough?Find out what's wrong with you and figure out how to fix it.Moreover, you also need to see whether your initiative is needed by the other party. For example, when you want to make a cup of coffee for the other party, you have to ask them if they want you to do so.In this way, when you give sincerity, you can also lay the foundation for future gains.When you need help, the other party will do their best to maintain a good relationship with you.

When there is a problem at work, it is an excellent time to express your "consistency". At this time, you can ask your boss for help and guidance.If your boss doesn't have time, or you don't think he's a pleasant person to work with, you can also ask a colleague for help.Through communication, let your boss and colleagues understand your thinking, method of action and will, and enhance your empathy, which will win their approval.

There is no management without obedience

Obedience is the only "weapon" we can use against our bosses.As mentioned above, your boss wants you to make obedience a top priority, even when it comes to such small details as keeping your commute and commuting times.People who put obedience first have the highest emotional intelligence in their teams, and these people are usually more likely to get promoted than others.

When many people come to a certain environment, they will feel aggrieved about one thing: Why do I have to be scolded as a newcomer, but the old employees can be calm and smooth?Who is the problem?Is it because the old employees and bosses are blind, or "I" is not doing well?
If you are bothered by this, or even have the idea of ​​​​giving up this job and finding a way out again, I will tell you that you don't have to.You just don't make your boss feel "submitted" to him.The first manifestation of obedience is that you want your boss to find that you are consistent with him:

You work in the system he formulated and follow his pattern; you do things under the leadership of his thinking, and you are a "slave" of his thinking; you are imitating him and learning from him, adoring him and following him in the process, you are He is an obedient student.

As above all kinds of signals, you must pass to the boss.These goals that sound complicated are easy to achieve, such as the details of some work.I once emphasized in a training that as an employee, if you want to establish consistency with your boss, the best way is to learn to make forms.

Why?A new employee described his experience like this.When he first came to work, he was often picked on by that nasty boss.The boss looked up and down at his work, either reprimanded him or was indifferent.He was very troubled by this, and once thought that he would not be able to stay in this company for long.Until one day, he finally found a breakthrough in the contradiction. It turned out that it was a problem with the form making, which made his boss very dissatisfied with him.

Among the various reports and documents he gave to his boss, he used his favorite and familiar table style, which made his boss very upset.This was told to him quietly by an old employee of the company, because this person also had a similar experience.The old man said: "In the process of making the form, you have to learn to be smart, abandon your original form style, and adopt the one your boss is used to. Let the boss feel that you must do what he likes, and you are obeying His thinking habits, do you think he will still scold you?"

He immediately followed suit, and after several work reports, his boss's attitude towards him was much better.This method seems very simple, and there is suspicion of flattery, but the result must be good.Because your obedience to the boss makes the boss feel very convenient at work, he will not criticize his usual working methods, just like he will not completely deny the orders he issued.

The emotional intelligence reflected here is actually a kind of work thinking of "obedience to the boss".You can find fault with your boss and confront him—challenge his working methods and business ideas, but you must pay attention to the timing and intensity; you first show obedience, and then you can gradually show your own personality.

During my visits to various companies, I found that many subordinates would complain like this, ah, my own boss is too difficult to "serve"!Is he perverted?Why is it always against me?Yes, the boss always gives people such an impression.But have you ever thought that work is not only a platform of ability, but also some other details that cannot be ignored.If you want to win the trust and love of your boss, it is not enough to have excellent work ability.

First of all, fully communicate with your boss in advance to confirm the purpose of the work. If you do not understand something, you must ask him in detail until you fully understand it. This will help you achieve a complete understanding.

Secondly, once you accept the instruction, you must ensure that you are in the same heart with your boss, never add your other ideas or practices, and implement it without compromise.

Finally, a person with more work experience will inevitably have more ideas of his own and would like to put forward different opinions.That's a good thing for your business.But you have to always remind yourself: I am not the first person responsible for this matter, the person who gave me instructions is the most responsible person.

From this perspective, while demonstrating your obedience, you are also avoiding the risk of liability you suffer due to job failure.

I make a simple summary:

When the boss makes a decision, I must obey; when the boss asks me to solve the problem, I will obey; when there is no consensus with the boss, I will try to obey; when the boss is praised, I will disappear; When I am in trouble, I must take the lead; when my boss makes a wrong decision, I will definitely understand; when my boss corrects his wrong decision, I must understand him.

The famous West Point Military Academy in the United States once put forward such a point of view: only a person with the quality of obedience will give full play to his subjective initiative and try his best to complete the task after accepting the order.Even if he can't finish it, he can have the courage to take responsibility instead of finding various excuses to shirk responsibility.Therefore, it is difficult for a person who does not know how to obey to complete the work he should undertake.Even if he has his own ideas, his boss allows him to find another way, and often the result is the same.The most important thing is that the emotional intelligence of obedience represents a quality of self-knowledge and self-positioning, that is, the boss is my leader, and I want to complete the work under his leadership, command, assignment, and supervision, instead of acting arbitrarily and destroying Team rules.If the boss gives the wrong order, it is his improper command and leadership, but if you fail to complete the task he assigned to you, the responsibility lies with you, and you have not fulfilled the duty of a subordinate—obedience to the superior command.

If a person cannot even do the simplest obedience, he will not have a strong sense of responsibility, discipline and self-discipline, and it will be difficult to correctly handle the conflict between individual and team interests.This is the first principle of management in any industry: there is no management without obedience.

Do the most appropriate communication

Positive communication is not only an important part of team emotional intelligence, but also represents the "index" of the living space you can obtain in a team.The higher the communication index, the larger the living space.

For people, communication is like a bridge between food and stomach - the tongue.Without the softening and preliminary processing of saliva secreted by the tongue and mouth, food will damage the stomach and cause indigestion.A perfect communication is like a happy feast, which is delicious and comfortable; a crazy communication is like eating a stone, sinking in the stomach with incomprehensible bitterness and unbearable pain.

I often see some boss complain to me that his subordinates are difficult to speak, and he himself has a problem with improper communication, causing many unnecessary collaboration obstacles.The problem that was originally easy to solve, because both parties are not willing or not good at communicating, has caused small problems to become big problems and become serious illnesses.Some of the partners who started their business together were full of momentum in the early stage, cooperated tacitly, moved forward bravely, and laid down a large territory.This is our common feat. We can endure hardships during the entrepreneurial period, and we are willing to endure hardships. There is no need for communication and discussion.When it’s time to pick the fruit, due to the improper distribution of benefits, he thinks you do too little, and you think he gets too much.When this happens, it is often due to poor communication between the two parties.

A company boss who broke up with a partner said to me: "I don't care how much he gets from the company, I just feel that I can never go back to the past. We were so good before, and I ate a few bites when I was hungry. Steamed buns, drink a little tap water when thirsty, and sleep on mats when sleepy... But now, strangely, we are guarding each other and staring at each other, and at some point a door has been erected in our hearts, and a lock has been added."

Three months ago, he had just signed an equity transfer agreement with his partners.He transferred all the shares of the company to the other party and left with the money.He felt that he couldn't guess people's hearts, he didn't know what everyone was thinking, and he could never regain the feeling of trust and tacit understanding.He analyzed the reasons with me, but what I saw was not so complicated. In the final analysis, it was actually a communication problem.

When you need to cooperate with someone, you must seize every opportunity to communicate, and don't miss any opportunity to express your heart.In the communication with this boss, I said that initiative, scope and timing are the three elements of a good communication.

Once, sitting across from me was Mr. Luo, a middle-level supervisor of IBM China. He had failed four consecutive promotions due to poor communication.

(End of this chapter)