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Chapter 11 Cultivate team emotional intelligence and improve collective combat effectiveness (2)
He said: "When I report to my boss, I always don't know how to express it. Sometimes I am excited and can't wait to show my strengths, but then I find that I talk too much and go too far; sometimes I can't help it. I was taciturn, couldn't get to the point, didn't know how to answer the boss's inquiries, and finally found that I didn't say a word, which made the boss feel that I was emotionally unstable and lacked good expression skills."

Mr. Luo's situation is very common.Many people have this problem: either they say too much, or they say too little, and it is difficult to achieve proper and perfect communication. It is not so easy to achieve the state of "one more point makes you fat, and one point less makes you thin".However, we are not without good ways to help ourselves express ourselves appropriately.

I said to Mr. Luo: "When you need to communicate and negotiate with your boss on certain issues, I suggest that you think for three to five seconds before you say a word, no more, no less, just a few seconds. You can try it out."

A few seconds can help you settle your thinking and choose the most appropriate language and tone.Its effect is not the greatest, but it can reduce your speech mistakes and leave a cautious and rational impression on your boss.

It is hard for us to imagine that there are still people who do not value the quality of their communication today.Konosuke Matsushita, the founder of Panasonic Corporation, said: "Enterprise management used to rely on communication, now it relies on communication, and in the future it will still rely on communication."

In a globalized society, the competition has become cruel to the point where it cannot be increased, and the team's communication and coordination skills have become increasingly demanding for managers, especially as the scale of the enterprise grows, the number of departments is gradually increasing, and the number of employees is also increasing. is growing exponentially, conflicts of interest and work problems are also increasing, and managers and team members also need to have higher and higher ability to communicate effectively.This not only reflects the level of a person's ability to survive in the team, but also reflects the culture and work efficiency of the entire team.

You must have heard of "communication starts from the heart", which is a classic slogan in China, which originated from a communication company.If you can make this statement a habit of your own mind, it will do you a lot of good.

If you are the boss of the company, it will become your company culture.If you are the manager of a department, it will be your team spirit.If you are an ordinary employee, it will become your foundation.

No matter what job you take on or where you are, it's important to communicate effectively.A positive and candid communication attitude can sometimes play a more critical role than your ability.It is not just an emotional intelligence, but has become an indispensable social quality.

How do you help your team communicate effectively when you are in a management position?
Cultivate self-awareness to ask questions

Managers will basically think that the biggest obstacle to communication is that employees misunderstand or understand his meaning inaccurately.If you work under one person, don't expect him to attribute the responsibility of communication to himself. He must think that you don't understand him or don't understand thoroughly.

We will encounter this kind of phenomenon. When the boss is assigning work, he is eloquent and eloquent, but what is the result?Subordinates are often deformed in the execution of work, or the results he makes are completely inconsistent with the expectations of the boss.This shows that there is a serious problem in communication.Your responsibility is the lack of active questioning and approaching understanding. It is impossible to just passively wait for a supervisor to instill and explain to you tirelessly.Among them, it may be that the superior did not convey his meaning well, and there is a problem with his expressive ability, but it may also be that you do not understand his words well.As far as the responsibilities of both parties are concerned, no matter who is right or wrong, the last "wrong" party is often the subordinate rather than your boss.

An effective way to avoid misunderstanding is to actively communicate, and you should be the active party.After the communication, the manager can deliberately add a sentence: "Do you understand what I mean? Is there anything else I need to explain?" Subordinates can also immediately ask questions about the spirit that has not been fully understood after receiving the order: " Manager, can I understand this in this way?" Express your thoughts, get immediate feedback from him, and eliminate hidden dangers of misunderstanding.

One more sentence can solve a big problem and prevent subsequent execution deviations.Actively asking questions can definitely enhance two-way communication and correct the deviation in mutual understanding.However, it is important to note that both parties should try to avoid repeated questions or discussions without extension.If it is worthwhile, it is enough to say it once.This principle applies to both leaders and subordinates. A sensible person will not repeat the same truth or sentence endlessly.

If your question is not ambiguous, but the other party doesn't understand, you don't need to explain, he is not a good subordinate.

If he doesn't respond to your inquiries and requests, don't talk too much, he is not a good leader.

Communication without feedback is worthless. In the process of getting along with the team, it is very helpful for your communication EQ to ask questions proactively and make yourself have this instinct and habit.The consequences of not having this initiative, whether a leader or a follower, can be dire.

The core meaning of both parties must be consistent

Due to differences in age, gender, education level, major, and division of labor, people's understanding of the same sentence will be different, and their understanding of the same issue or document will definitely vary.There is an old Chinese saying that goes, "The benevolent sees benevolence, and the wise sees wisdom." People with different identities, functions, and experiences have different perspectives, starting points, and standpoints when they think about problems.This requires that the communication must be concise and easy to understand, and the meaning you want to express must be in place at one time, and don't let the other party guess.

For managers, in order to communicate effectively, they must pay attention to the way of language.On the premise of expressing clearly, you must adapt to your subordinates to a certain extent and change your communication methods appropriately.We know that the diversity of languages ​​helps to enable communicators and different people to talk to each other and conduct in-depth exchanges in order to achieve the purpose of communication.For subordinates, he should also try his best to consider the listening and understanding habits of his superiors, express his core meaning correctly in a way he likes to hear, and then reach a consensus.

I can sum it up in one sentence, which is: "Say what you want to say, and listen to what you can hear." This principle is a requirement for both parties in communication.Speak in the language you are best at; understand in your favorite way, and reach a consensus with the other party.

Simply put, this article has three requirements for people's emotional intelligence:
Pay attention to the use of language, adapt measures to local conditions, tailor clothes, and match vocabulary appropriately; the core meaning must be unified, without ambiguity and multi-directional understanding; ensure the accuracy of conveying meaning, and not be vague, so that people do not understand what you are doing What to say, what to do.

When communicating, you must actively listen and be the most loyal listener

Communication is a two-way street.It won't be a pleasant exchange if two people talk about themselves face to face.Therefore, one of the communication parties must be good at expressing, and the other must be good at listening. Only through the circular communication process of communication, listening, and feedback, and then communication, listening, and feedback between the two parties, can each other clarify the theme of communication.If you are not good at speaking, be good at listening, sometimes the latter is more important than the former (of course, in some cases, expression is crucial, and if you are an employee, listening is a more critical quality).

For bosses and department managers, they also face the task of surviving in the team.In this era, there is no longer room for heroic management characters. Every boss must rely on the team to survive.This requires higher communication requirements.If you have the ideal of personal heroism, when facing a large group of new employees, you must adjust and change to make yourself good at listening, which also reflects your respect for employees and your affinity for the team.

Prepare well and save communication time
It will save a lot of time if you can clarify in advance what to communicate.If you do poor preparation when communicating, you will waste the company's biggest cost in the communication process-time.This is doubly wasteful, taking up both parties' working time and doing nothing to solve the problem.Therefore, the last point I emphasize is to determine a clear main line of communication, communicate with a theme or purpose, and arrange the order of the outline and questions in order to achieve step-by-step.

Many people have this reflection: "Why did I spend a whole morning explaining things, but got nothing, as if I didn't say anything?" They put the responsibility on the listener, thinking that the subordinate (the other party) didn't listen at all, not because they were distracted It is slack work.

If he introspects properly, he may find that the reason is just that he is not prepared enough.We need to stress that communication can sometimes be the icing on the cake.For example, there is one particularly important point: when we communicate with the other party, we must take into account his personality, family background and psychological endurance, and prescribe the right medicine according to the person's order.Does he have any scruples about topics?Is it too sensitive?Even out of basic respect, we have to consider these first.

When communicating, we first affirmed his achievements and good aspects, and then pointed out his shortcomings and improvement directions step by step, and put forward our own suggestions.Take care of the other person's self-esteem, protect his self-confidence and face.These factors are indispensable in communication, and those who can pay attention to these details will be very popular in the team.

Personality Management in Teams

(End of this chapter)