end of ten days.

It's been...how many days?

I looked at the notches on the wall and couldn't help but smile wryly.

20 days.

I'm stuck here for 20 days! !

During these three weeks, I could only get one bottle of mineral water and one bag of bread every day.

My whole body began to lose strength due to a severe nutritional imbalance.

In the height of summer, I was locked up in an extremely stuffy hut, and there was no suitable place for me to defecate, so the room stank.

Numerous maggots and flies lingered in the house, and countless cockroaches crawled all over the walls.

It's so funny... The current situation really makes me want to laugh too much.

I, a person who can't even have dust in my house on weekdays, is now surrounded by cockroaches all day long.

In the first few days, I ran around to avoid them, but the area here was too small, and I couldn't get around it no matter what.

I can only let them crawl all over my body.

Cockroaches are soft and cold to the touch, and when they crawl across your arms, they itch, and you can't even feel their slight weight.

I'm really scared of this kind of thing, but I can't hide, every day I can feel my goosebumps all over my body, but I know that even when I sleep, they will lean against me, thin Rubbing his forelegs.

They talk to me at night, use my body for warmth, and I can pull cockroaches out of my hair at will.

In this dark and small room, I don't have any sanitary products, only bugs... only countless bugs...

But who am I?

Was I Zhang Laidi who cooked for the whole family when I came home from school every day when I was seven years old, or Zhang Chenze who was 33 years old when I was picked up by a car when I went in and out of major companies?

I've had two diametrically opposed lives, isn't that normal?

A certain part of it must be a dream, right?

Yes, I must be hysterical.

If I were to choose now... I would be Zhang Laidi.

I don't want to die.

I lost, I really gave up.

There is no law in the eyes of these people. If I still refuse to agree to him, he will definitely let me starve to death here.

If I am not Zhang Laidi, then I can only be a corpse.

I'm human...I'm not a pig, I shouldn't be locked in a small room every day, mixed with eating, drinking and messing.

I want to stand up, I want to shake off the bugs, I want to change into cleaner clothes, I want to take a shower, and I want to eat a juicy peach.

I want to be Zhang Laidi.

What kind of unattainable dream was I in the past?

I have a delusion to get out of here, a delusion to start another life again.

Ten years in Chengdu was really the most ridiculous dream in my life.

I was wrong, and I dare not again.

I'll say yes to anything as long as it gets me out of this room.

I am willing to be Mrs. Ma, I am willing to stay in the village, and I am willing to give birth to him.

My life was destined to be like this from birth, but I have been struggling like a dream.

Why are there so many miserable people in the world if they can be completely freed from these situations simply by their own efforts?It's not fair to them.

Now my dream is awake, and it's time for me to return to my original life.

Cockroach friends...do you think I'm right?

But that butcher, why didn't he come to me?

Didn't you say that you only need to starve me for five days?

It's been 20 days now!

Fortunately, I can distinguish between night and day in the house, and I can faintly hear distant sounds, otherwise I would definitely go crazy.

What happened to the nearest village?

In the past few days, the sound of police cars could always be heard, and quarrels could be heard faintly, but these days it has quieted down.

But I didn't even have the strength to speak, and I couldn't even ask for help.

Who can help me?

At night, the door of the house was finally opened.

The door opened for the second time in 20 days.

"Damn it..." The butcher horse stood there angrily. He looked back to see that there was no one around, and then closed the door behind him.

I panted heavily, stretched out my hand, and wanted to say something, but found that my arms were starting to shrivel up.

when did it happen……?

"What the hell are you doing in the city?!" He asked in a panic, "Why are there so many policemen here? It made me afraid to come here for weeks..."

"Let me go..." I finally said two words, almost exhausting all my strength, "Let me go..."

"And let you go?"

Only then did I see an oil lamp in his hand. He put the oil lamp aside and reached out to untie his belt.

My expression was a little dazed, and I didn't even know what he was doing for a while.

"It's so troublesome to lock up your mother-in-law... It seems that I can't wait for you to give in, I have to deal with you first."

wait...wait a minute...

I finally came to my senses, but my thinking is extremely slow now, all the words I want to say are like cars colliding with each other in a car accident, and I can't say a word stuck in my throat.

He knocked me down with a slap, and started tearing my clothes with his hands.

I have no strength to resist at all.

Can I have a word?

I agree...I agree with everything, but don't touch me like this...

I beg you……

"Huh..." He showed contemptuous eyes after taking off my pants, "You motherfucker... why are you dirtier than a pig?"

I'm about to collapse, the dignity I've accumulated, the persistence I've worked so hard for for so long, all collapse at this moment.

What serious sin have I committed to make my life so miserable?

What exactly should I do?

At this moment, I was like a corpse, no matter what this stinking man did on me, I couldn't move at all.

"Mother Gua..." Seeing that I didn't respond, he stretched out his hand and waved it towards my face.

I was slapped many times, and my mouth was full of blood, but I didn't say a word.

I didn't shed tears until he stopped floating on top of me.

This is my life.

It is the life I have decided on since the day I was born.

It is said that on the day I was born, there were six babies in the delivery room, and five of them were boys.

My old man and my mother happily asked the doctor: "Which boy is our family?"

When they learned that the only girl was their child, the two of them turned their heads and left with gloomy faces. If the doctor hadn't stopped them, I wouldn't even have my parents now.

"It's really melon..."

The horse butcher stood up, put on his pants, and just when I thought it was all over, he gave me another blow.

He took out the mobile phone that he didn't know how long he had used from his pocket, and began to take pictures and videos of me from various angles.

Whether it can be photographed or not.

Breaking the law...he broke the law again...

But wait a minute...why should I care if he breaks the law?

This is my future life, I am not a lawyer, I am Zhang Laidi.

When I was the most helpless, the most desperate, and the filthiest, I was carefully photographed by him.

Now I can't even cover my face with my hands.

"Mrs. Gua, don't you like to sue?" He turned the phone over and shook it in front of my eyes, "If you dare to sue, I'll post these photos everywhere, you know?"

After saying this, he spit on the ground, muttered "Smelly man", slammed the door and left, and locked the chain again.

He's gone again...?

Really no, don't leave me here anymore, I feel like I'm going to die.

I seem to be hurt...sick...and starving...

don't leave me here...

My whole body was in pain, and I suddenly felt a cockroach crawling on my face.

Don't touch me again... Really don't touch me again...

I stretched out a hand with all my strength and took the cockroach off my face.

I really want to squeeze it to death in my hands.

But that's not fair to it.

This cockroach did nothing wrong, it was just not fair that I was forced to die because of my emotions.

What happened to me is miserable enough, there is no need to implicate other lives.