end of ten days.

After staring at the cockroach in my hand for a long time, I suddenly smiled.

I have been thinking about others all my life, and I have pursued fairness from beginning to end. I regard fairness as my credo in life.

But who in the world has thought about it for me?

I hold the scale in my heart and face the whole world, but I am always shaken and tilted by other people.

When everyone introduces me, they say that I am a famous "female" lawyer in Chengdu, which I really hate.

What I want is equality, not preferential treatment.

I am a lawyer. No matter whether I am famous or not, why must I emphasize that I am a "female" lawyer?I just want to be like other lawyers and I want them to look at competency, not gender.

but……

None of these things matter now.

I just want some water right now and also something sweet and salty.

My gums bleed all the time and they won't stop.

I may be dying...

You said...has anyone died in this room?

Why are there so many scratches on the walls?

Those scratches were not carved by me, but they are still clear. Has anyone ever lived here?

The next night, the horse butcher reappeared.

This time, he probably couldn't bear the smell on my body, so he specially pulled a water pipe.

After he opened the door, he sprayed water on me without saying a word, and he recorded the whole process with his mobile phone.

Yes, I am like a pig.

I remember that the butcher was holding a water gun and washing the pig's body like this.

Now I don't have any dignity and personality, just a pig waiting to be slaughtered.

Can you kill me?

He washed me for about ten minutes, and most of the dirt and mud on my body was washed away.

As much as I am like a pig, I have to say I feel much better now than before, at least I'm clean.

As a person... at least make sure you are clean, right?

I lay powerless on the ground, waiting for the "luck" of the horse butcher.

This absurd life is really ridiculous. My living conditions are no different from the pigs in his pigsty.

No... To be precise, raising me is cheaper than raising pigs.

I only need three yuan a day to live, but pigs can't.

Pigs have to be raised white and fat to sell them for money, but I don't need them.

As long as I have one breath left and I am a living woman, I am still useful to him.

When the horse butcher was bouncing up and down on my body, I used all my strength to say: "I can promise anything... can you let me go...?"

"I'll let you go...you can't be appointed..." he replied panting, "you'll have to be imprisoned for at least a few years... wait until the police can't find you..."

several years……?

Did I hear it wrong?

There are 360 ​​five days in a year, right?

I've only been here for 20 days and I'm dying.

How many years am I going to stay here?

"I'm going to die..." I couldn't even shed tears, only my voice was choked up, "You left me here...I'm going to die...Don't you want me to be your wife? What if I'm going to die? manage……?"

"You are my mother-in-law now!!" He said forcefully, "It doesn't matter if you die, I will give birth to a baby before you die, and you will die if you give birth to a boy baby."

Such a life.

Exactly what I imagined as a child.

"I promise... I promise you to have a baby..." I cried and said, "Can you let me go out..."

"Stop dreaming, I will take you out after you give birth to a baby!"

Seeing him floating around on his own, I felt completely hopeless.

He really wants me to die.

I slowly hugged his neck, opened my mouth forcefully, and bit his artery directly while he was getting carried away.

I want to kill him.

But I overestimated myself, and I lost all strength.

I just bit him sorely and left deep teeth marks.

He also groaned and stood up, then started punching and kicking me.

I could clearly feel his feet kicking towards my stomach all the time, but I couldn't stop it at all.

I'm absolutely going to get hurt, both inside and out, in this senseless situation.

They will aggravate my death.

The next day, I couldn't even climb up, so I could only move on the ground with difficulty.

I cough up blood all the time.

Yesterday, the horse butcher sprinkled water on the ground here, but there is no drainage outlet here.

All kinds of excrement and dirt on the ground are mixed in the water, soaking the moldy hay, and the summer in July is filled with a crumbling smell.

and I?

I can't stand up, I'm swimming in sewage.

All the dirt is all over me, and now I am a pig rolling in muddy soup.

I kept groping in the sewage, looking for my water and food today.

"Laidi, if you go to the city in the future, go to the police station and change your name as soon as possible."

A voice rang in my ears, it was my lighting lamp, my teacher, she had a different name from all the girls in the village, she was not called Laidi, Zhaodi, Pandi, nor Erni, San Ni, her name is Ning Wan'er.

That year, she and I were standing in front of the lake at the head of the village watching the sunrise.

"Why?" I asked.

"Although you are excellent, this name will bring you a lot of trouble." She sighed and said, "I hope you can live a better life, don't be trapped here all your life, you can choose your own life."

At that time, I didn't understand why, I was born inferior, and I could choose my own life?

"But... what's my name?"

"It's fine if you like it. The name is used to bless your own life, not to bless the lives of others." The teacher coughed a few times and continued, "I hope you can be like this lake in the morning, and others will give you a little warmth." , you reflect the dazzling sunlight, even if your bottom is dark and cold, but you still have to repay the gentleness of this world like ripples.”

At that time, I couldn't understand the teacher's words at all, but saw her getting haggard day by day.

Lake in the morning?

Thinking about it now, she must have been ill at that time.

Is she okay?Is she cured?

Has she lived in good health until now?

When I was a child, I never thought of leaving the teacher's contact information, so after so many years, I still can't find her.

"Laidi, I've heard a legend." The teacher looked at the lake and smiled at me calmly, "Everything in this world will live in other forms after death."

"what does that mean?"

"If one day I die, then I may become a grass, a tree, a bird, or a grass worm."

I feel that what the teacher said is very profound, but it is very interesting.

In other words... all people in this world will not die?

If they die, they become something else and live forever in the world in another form.

That sounds like fairness.

"I hope the teacher never dies," I said to her.

"why?"

"Because no one in this world is so kind to me." I looked into her eyes at that time, feeling like she was about to cry, "Teacher, even if you want to become a bird, grass insect or a stone, I don't want you to die. "

"The teacher is waiting." She smiled.

Teacher Ning said she was leaving in three days, but she disappeared the next day.

There must be something urgent, so I returned to the city early.