My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

AMICITAS Mission Three – Mission Day 527

ARES 3 solar day 517

Transcript – ARES 4 MAV video transmission, start time 13:07 (based on ARES 3 mission)

Spitfire: Hermes, MAV calling, waiting for...media...activity, over.

Rick Martinez: MAV, this is Hermes. Hello, Major! I told them I'd like to interview you today. I thought since we're both pilots, you'd be more relaxed. Is that ok? Get ready and we can start, over.

Spitfire: Thank you, Major. I'm trying... I'm still trying... to learn to speak English. Starlight Glimmer is here to help me.

Starlight Glimmer: Hello, Major Martinez.

Spitfire: If she knew that I was only here to help! Not to speak for me! Got it?

Starlight Glimmer: Okay, okay, I promised not to interrupt you.

Spitfire: Okay. Then, we're ready. Over.

Martinez: Roger that, MAV. Question 1: "We know you took a lot of hits from your flight. How are you feeling now?"

Spitfire: More is better. Much better. But there's still...a long way to go. Wings...my wings...are always...itching. Our...is that the potion? We're out of potions. We ran out of potions two weeks ago. Most of them were used on Mark's burns and Starlight's leg...uh...long time ago. So it itches, but I can't scratch because I might damage...uh, damage...the feather growth. ...over.

MARTINIS: Got it. Next question: "What would it be like to break up a storm on an alien world?"

Spitfire: It feels great. But the holes in the suit, the air is leaking, the feathers are getting stuck, the, the, the, give me a word?

Starlight: Slime.

Spitfire: Stuck in slime, none of this feels good. But... sorry, trying to think of words... this is the first time since I left home that I feel like I'm doing what I was born to do. I'm flying. I'm fighting... uh... the weather. I'm saving ponies' lives. I can't tell you how good it feels. For... a minute? No, uh, a short moment, starting with an m...

Starlight: A moment?

Feihuo: Yes! For a moment, I felt like I belonged.

Martinez: That's a great point, Major. Next: "There are even larger storms in our solar system, and perhaps in yours as well. What would you say to someone who wants to try to break your record?"

Spitfire: I said: Are you crazy??? I did this because I had no choice to save my life. That storm needed a hundred, more Pegasus. We only had me. I wanted to... I risked my life to do it! I would have died if it meant saving my friends! That... that's a reason to do this. Doing this for... for fun? For a record? That's a bad reason. It's stupid. It'll get you killed. And I was very, very lucky. You, not so sure. So, don't do this! Over!

Martinez: Got the message, got it! Feifei, don't be so angry! I'm on your side! Can we move on to the next question? Please listen to the question: "Soon you will return to space. You will be able to fly around in zero gravity again. Are you looking forward to it?"

Feihuo: Zero G is not flying. Zero G is completely different from flying with wings. It's a completely different... well, skill. What I'm looking forward to is flying in the real sky, without a space suit, just me and the howling wind.

MARTINIS: Well, I'm a little jealous, you know? I once flew a hang glider. I nearly broke my leg when I landed. It's harder than it looks. I feel like this is the closest human beings will ever get to the flying experience you're experiencing. Anyway, time to move on to the next question: "If you compare the extreme speed of being enclosed in a cockpit during a rocket launch with the slower, more intimate feeling of flying, how do the two feel similar or different?" Over.

Spitfire: Some ponies in our area can also... glide. I think so. For glide, you use a big, uh, kite-like thing, uh, with a pony hanging from the bottom?

Starlight: That’s indeed a good way to describe the glider.

Spitfire: Anyway, we have that kind of thing. Answer the question: Can't, uh, uh... what's the word? (Mumble)

Starlight: Compare. To express how two things are similar and different.

Feihuo: OK. You can't compare the two. When I fly, I control the flight. I've only ridden a rocket once. Cherry Berry was the pilot, not me. Riding a rocket is... is...

Starlight: Exciting?

Spitfire: I'll tell you! Wait until I ask! But it's like this, it's exciting. It's also pretty scary. It's nothing like flying Pegasus. It's not... what's the word in the question? It starts with X, but it's not exciting.

Starlight: Um... do you mean "exhilaration"?

Feihuo: (grunting)

Starlight: (grunting)

Spitfire: Oh. No, rocket flight is not euphoria at all. Over.

Martinez: Got it, MAV. I agree, it's totally different to have someone else at the helm. Next question: "Do you think you'll ever go to space again?"

Spitfire: I'm an officer. I have to do my duty. I go wherever I'm ordered to go.

Martinez: That makes sense. The next question is a little more complicated. Starlight, can you help her with this question? "You have been living on Mars for more than a year and a half in an environment where the G-force is only one-third of the normal value. So has anyone on your side considered how to adapt to returning to an environment with full double gravity in the future?"

Feihuo: I don't need help with this. I think this is very much. We all need time to... uh... get used to real gravity again. The most important thing is that I will need a lot of effort to fly correctly and well again. I think about this all the time.

Martinez: Next question: "Besides air racing and aerobatics, what other sports do they have there? Are there any games similar to Quidditch?"

Spitfire: Ponies have all kinds of sports. I don't have the words to describe them all. I've represented my hometown, Clouddale, in the Equestria Games twice now! The gold, uh, thing you wear around your neck?

Starlight: Spitfire has won gold medals in the aerial racing event at several, uh, Equestrian competitions.

Spitfire: Yes. But there's more to the game than just flying. Ponies kick things, throw things, hit things, and, uh... um... sorry, I can't think of a word. Next question... No, wait a minute. I was going to say, I think I'll try to get the ponies to play Quidditch when we get back. Okay, next question.

Martinez: I'd pay for something like that! Next question - and this is a buy one get one free deal: "How old were you when you first decided you wanted to join the military? What advice do you have for kids who want to follow in your footsteps?"

Feihuo: What is 'buy one get one free' (twofer)?

Starlight: It means that someone intends to ask two questions as one.

Spitfire: Oh. So that's what cheating means? Like when you asked us to use the Evil Martian dice?

Starlight: There's nothing wrong with those dice! They're perfectly even, and the results are absolutely fair! I'm not responsible for this! Besides, think about how you treated those goblins, you deserve it!

Spitfire: I still say that it's wrong to have non-evil goblins in D&D! Okay! Ugh. Sorry, I forgot the question, over.

Martinez: "How old were you when you had a clear desire to join the military? What advice would you give to kids who want to follow in your footsteps?"

Spitfire: Oh, good. Ever since I was little I wanted to be the best flyer ever. The best flyers were the Magic Lightning, part of the Royal Guard. So I've worked hard my whole life to be the best. Kids, if you know what you want, work for it. Keep working for it. You may not get it even if you work hard, but you definitely won't get it if you don't work hard at all! And even if you don't get it, working hard will make you a better pony! And you never know - you might find something great that you never... well... dreamed of before!

Martinez: That's a good suggestion! Next question: "After being a member of a crew for so long under the command of others, how do you feel about returning to your original team on your world and taking on the role of captain again?"

Spitfire: No. It's not my team now. I've been gone too long. I've been on Mars too long. Maybe I'll get it back, maybe not. But if I do, I'll have to...work...to get it back. I've thought about this a lot. I've thought about all the work I'll have to do when I get back. I wish I could start now.

Martinez: Major, can we wait until we rescue you from Mars? We might be able to help you with that. Okay, last question: "Have you ever considered being a pin-up model?"

Spitfire: Maybe. I have the looks. I have the body. And I see Mark's eyes are always on me!

Starlight: Spitfire!!!

Feihuo: What's wrong? Look, it's okay! Flying didn't hurt my butt! It's still worth watching! Maybe you can shake your tail and let him take a good look...

MAV transmission interrupted at the signal source