My Little Pony: My Little Pony The Martian

AMICITAS Mission Three – Mission Day 528

ARES 3 solar day 518

Transcript – ARES 4 MAV video transmission, start time 13:22 (based on ARES 3 mission)

Fireball: Hermes, MAV call, waiting for media event to start, over.

BETH JOHNSON: MAV, this is Hermes. Hello Fireball. what are you eating?

Fireball: It's a potato. There's a little crystal stuffed inside. Thought it might taste better this way. It didn't. let us start. complete.

Johnson: OK. The first question is: "How do you get along with your team members?"

Fireball: Not bad. Haven’t fried, boiled or eaten any of them yet.

Dragonfly: If you want to eat me, roasting it over slow fire will make it more delicious!

Fireball: But there is still time! Really terrible. Other than the bugs, we were fine. But I still look forward to going home and living alone.

JOHNSON: Next question: "What's the most inconvenient thing about being in such close proximity to everyone for so long?"

Fireball: Being hugged by everyone and used as a mattress when sleeping. Even with a life support system, it would be very cold inside the spacecraft at night. Everyone piled on top of me to keep warm because dragons are hot. It's not fun being at the bottom. No one likes sleeping with hundreds of kilograms of stuff weighing on them. But it's better than freezing, so I won't complain.

Johnson: "Dragon is big and powerful. Have you used your strengths in this area to help everyone leave this planet?"

Fireball: Dragons are very strong. But now the dragon's claws - and the dragon's fingers - are more important. I have an easier time with wrenches and moving things than ponies and bugs. Well done, our MAV transformation is more than half complete. Then, I inspect the spacesuit and help Dragonfly prepare for launch. I do my job.

Johnson: You guys are way ahead of schedule. great. Next question: "I've heard that dragons collect hoards. Do you do the same? If that's true, what's the thing you miss most about your hoard right now?"

Fireball: I have a treasure pile. It's a very small one. On our side now is the Dragon King watching it. But there was nothing there more valuable than what I had brought back from this journey. The value of some things cannot be measured by a few pieces of gold or precious stones.

Johnson: Ouch (so warm)... Uh, good. Next: "Can you tell us what is the most profound space experience you remember? Except this time, of course."

Fireball: Oh, this one does. My first flight. He flew directly into the mountains. He lay in a cast for several months, relying on straws to eat and drink. Flying into the mountains is a very memorable experience.

JOHNSON: You've been in a rocket crash and survived? And then you took a rocket to the sky again? It’s incredible!

Fireball: Yes. Incredible. I can't believe I'm that stupid. It’s a coin toss whether I crash or not every time I launch. After I go back this time, next time they want to stuff the dragon into the can, they should find other unlucky people!

Johnson: Uh... well... let's continue. "We know you want to try driving. Do you have any ideas about what type of car you want to try?"

Fireball: Not a police car. Too easy to crash. I felt like I wanted to try a car without a trailer. Moreover, it is a car that does not jump off bridges. From now on I will only fly with my own wings.

Johnson: "In order to make your space suit better prepared to withstand frequent and long-term planetary-level EVA tests, what changes will you make to the design of your space suit?"

Fireballs: These are pretty good to use. Yes, we patch them...

Dragonfly: Why does it become "us"? I have never seen you working hard for science!

Fireball: Did it suddenly become tomorrow when I wasn’t watching? Go aside! Insects are really pushy. What did I say...right. We patched them a lot to get them to this point, but they last so long and are so strong. Never thought it would take so long. But the toilets need to be improved.

Johnson: Agreed. Next: "Do gems taste like something to a dragon? Can you use an analogy to describe the taste of other similar foods?"

Fireball: Hard to say. More color usually makes it sweeter. The darker the color, the spicier it is. Transparent, tasteless and boring. Eating diamonds is like eating ice, but not cold or wet. So, it's actually not very similar to ice. It's really hard to say.

Johnson: "Are you going to be a gemologist?"

Fireball: Why? Life is too short to stand at the counter. ...Oh, wait. I forgot that gems on earth are worth a lot of money. No, we don't need gem experts like Earth does. And I'm going back there next.

JOHNSON: Last question: "Are you interested in getting into the movies? The guys in Hollywood would be so happy if they knew you could have dragons in movies without expensive special effects."

Fireball: No. My nose was too big for a movie. But sometimes I really want to see some fake dragons in the movie. It makes me smile. Are we okay now?

JOHNSON: That's it, Fireball. Tingting's interview is scheduled for tomorrow and will be the last one.

Fireball: Okay. Stay tuned. The bug doesn't know it yet, but retribution is coming.

Dragonfly: Fireball, I'm still standing here.

Fireball: Retribution will come anyway! MAV communication completed.