I Become a God: Playing with Beasts

Chapter 170: No Conclusion

My throat felt unnaturally thirsty and it felt strange.

This was the first time I took the initiative to tell others my thoughts without any hesitation, and I was very nervous.

However, it is difficult to get off the tiger.

Across from me, Satoru looked at me with a surprised expression, and I slowly spoke, "Me too, same as you."

Wu paused for a moment, "Same, you mean?"

The good man said with difficulty: "That... is to say, comrade, this matter."

Hearing this, Wu's eyes widened and his gaze drifted into the air, as if he was shocked.

After chatting for a while, both of them spoke frankly.

Wu was happy to know that he was a kind-hearted person and a fellow traveler, so he told him a lot of things, probably his worries.

"Cheating." Wu said calmly, "The reason for the breakup is that Azuma cheated on me."

"…Is it true or false?" the good man asked in surprise.

He talked about this kind of thing very thoroughly, and I'm afraid others don't want to talk about it.

Wu said in disgust: “And that guy even said something like ‘the spiritual bond is what’s important’.”

He was not so tolerant as to turn a blind eye to his boyfriend's use of such twisted logic to mess around with other women.

"Well, that's true..." The kind man nodded and agreed.

Satoru continued, "It's true that I was attracted to that guy."

He stated: "I like the playboy type of guy."

"Ah~, that's why I'm with Terry."

When Terry was mentioned, the expression on Wu's face was like a thousand-year-old iceberg melting, revealing a shy and timid smile.

"I guess so. He's surprisingly delicate inside, which is also cute."

After Wu finished speaking, the expression on his face turned from sunny to gloomy, and he looked listless again.

He threw the torn wrapping paper on the table and said in a low voice: "...But, it's not possible. We can't be together anymore."

Listening to Wu's confession, I felt a little embarrassed for some reason. Maybe it was because I did the same thing as him, or maybe I did something even more excessive than him.

The kind man picked up the carbonated drink and took sip after sip. Feeling unhappy, he simply drank it all in one gulp.

That’s right, even if you say it and reveal your cards, you won’t be able to be happy.

If I express my feelings, the relationship that I have cultivated so far might fall apart.

God knows how panicked he was when Dazhi said that to him.

His heart was beating wildly, his face was flushed, and his limbs felt as if they were filled with lead and he had no strength at all.

If it weren't for the sudden anger, he would have agreed to Dazhi's request long ago, and now he might have parted ways with Dazhi because of his dirty heart.

“It would be really annoying to be suddenly treated as a same-sex confession from a friend… or something like that,” Wu said, his eyes revealing a lonely look.

Putting on a bitter smile, he looked at the kind man as if asking for his consent.

But what can he do? Good people cannot come to conclusions.

From the moment he fell in love with Dazhi, his life was like a storybook destined to be tragic.

All the hardships along the way were overcome, but in the end I realized that these hardships that were overcome were just the nutrients for the birth of the Boss.

The real difficulty is how to maintain this friendship.

Because of his declaration of love, his former companions turned against him.

Even if you win, you will still feel extremely painful inside.

There were so many wonderful memories, and I was so warm and reliable in the hearts of my friends, but in the end, everything turned into disgust and aversion.

"It's really annoying, isn't it?" The kind man suddenly became sad, and the tightness in his chest made him say, "A relationship that ended just because I said I liked it... I, really hate it."

Not because I want it to end, but because I want to continue.

That’s why I want to say it, but I can’t.

Because of the inseparable bond—

"How can it be so empty?"

Once you have self-awareness, you can only burn away your feelings and stuff.

Once you have expectations, you can only wait until the day when the feelings disappear.

It's just empty, isn't it?

"I obviously don't hate you, but we can't even be friends... I don't want this!" The kind man looked sad.

It would be better to just give up on it - this is such extreme sadness and inexplicable pain.

"…Good man."

Wu looked at the kind man opposite him and called out.

Suddenly Wu called him, and the good man calmed down.

When I realized what was happening, I immediately thought to myself: Oops, I screwed up.

This wasn't really an answer; it was simply a revelation of his stubborn feelings.

The good man was secretly annoyed, but he heard Wu say with a hint of surprise: "I feel like you are too pure."

“H-huh?”

When the kind-hearted man heard these words, his face turned red and he was puzzled.

"Oh~ I feel shy seeing your innocent look." Wu Lue curled the corners of his mouth with a smile in his eyes.

"What? You guy, stop fooling me." The kind man said seriously.

He was obviously speaking seriously, but Wu looked at him with a smile.

What the hell is this guy doing?

What a pure and innocent thing.

Is it not good?

"Alas, it's my fault that we can't be friends for now." Wu didn't explain too much and changed the subject.

……

------

When I came to my senses, I found myself in a small apartment.

This is a memory from childhood.

I was still a primary school student at the time. I heard the noise of the entrance door opening and hurried over.

But the person who was supposed to be full of expectations showed an unhappy expression as soon as he saw me.

"What the hell, you're still here?"

"……Mother"

My mother who got married at a young age... no, the person who was my mother.

She immediately divorced her father, who was more than ten years older than her and had a different personality from her, and became obsessed with male beauty.

It is common to come home late at night like this.

"Shut up, don't call me mom. That's corny."

"Yes...I'm sorry."

Every time I called "Mom", the black panther would look at me with a very unhappy look.

Unconsciously, I no longer considered that person my mother, but just the person who gave birth to me.

"Ah- How annoying. As expected, I'm not interested in people with burdens, ah."

She walked past me with a grumble in her voice, sat on the sofa and lit a cigarette.

It was always like this when I didn't succeed in catching a man.

I frowned at the cigarette and whispered: Um, rice...

"Hey, didn't I tell you to eat whatever you want?"

"But the refrigerator is empty."

"Yeah, just bear with it. I'm going to sleep."

what……

After she finished speaking, she lay down on the sofa without even putting out the cigarette in the ashtray.

And I also know that no matter how much I ask, it will be useless.

I could only helplessly wrap myself in the dirty blanket, endure hunger, and wait for the morning to come.

...These absurd days ended abruptly.

I had just entered junior high school and that person didn't even come home.

She must have a man.

Some time later, when people from the neighborhood and the police station came to my house to protect me, the doubts I had since childhood turned into certainty.

Ah, I've been abandoned

It's really a hindrance.

To that person's life, I am an unnecessary child.

— —"What the hell, you're here?"

So, she must want me to disappear without a trace.

Ding dong, ding dong...

I woke up to the sound of a notification.

Maybe it was because of the nightmare? The fatigue didn't go away at all.

I am exhausted both physically and mentally when I think about what happened back then.

But I won't say discouraging words.

A leopard raised his hand to wipe the moisture from the corners of his eyes.

I also have university classes and a part-time job today.