I Become a God: Playing with Beasts

When I came to my senses, I was already in bed.

I tried to get up, but found that I had no strength left in my body.

I resisted the dizziness in my head and opened my eyes with difficulty. Eh? There were a lot of people around me.

There is my cousin, and a stranger... Hey! Why is Wu here too?

I looked at Wu who was lying on the bed. He seemed to be fiddling with something.

where is this?

Never mind, I feel dizzy and my brain is swirling in my head like water in a washing machine.

"Terry, come on, take the medicine."

Wu carefully helped Terry up, handed the pill to Terry's mouth, and fed him with water.

Oh, it's medicine.

It seems that I am sick.

But I should be the only one in the apartment, so it seems that everything I saw was an illusion.

Consciousness sinks and returns to dream again.

This time I was in a single-family house.

Because it was in high school, it was after I was abandoned by that person.

My father seemed to have died of illness, so I was passed around among relatives and was finally adopted by my uncle's home.

"that"

I went into the living room during dinner and didn't see my portion.

Our family was never liked by our relatives, so it was natural that we would be left out.

Although I had a premonition, it was still very damaging to my spirit to see him behave like this.

Across the table sat cheerful-looking cousins ​​of the same age.

However, due to the relationship between the adults, we didn't have much contact with each other. It would be more accurate to say that we all ignored me.

Yes, who would be kind to an orphan? Not even the living parents, let alone the relatives...

That’s not quite right. My cousin is very nice to me.

After being recognized, I was still feeling anxious, but my cousin had already handled everything.

Although my cousin never said anything like "I love me", his actions made me feel very close to him.

And I heard that my cousin was also abandoned, luckily he met a kind-hearted couple...

"What the hell, you're here?"

My thoughts were interrupted by my aunt's shrill voice.

My aunt especially gives me trouble.

Therefore, she spoke all kinds of bad words to me; words that particularly hurt my heart.

It seems like you really hate me.

I stepped back to the door of the room and hid half of my body in the corner of the wall.

"We are a family of three, so I forgot you were here."

My uncle also ignored me and echoed what my aunt said.

That's right, he always bothered me when he was on vacation.

You said you won’t take a vacation. If I don’t take a vacation, he won’t be able to see me.

Well, I should be thankful that I have a bed to sleep in; I wouldn't be able to hold on if I didn't think so.

"What's with that look? It's just like my sister-in-law's. It's really annoying."

When I heard what my aunt said, I quickly turned my head to the corner, leaving only one eye exposed.

“…I’m sorry,” I apologized.

See if they have any leftovers.

"Ah~hate, hate, it's really annoying."

My aunt was furious. I no longer dared to hope for leftovers, so I panicked and returned to my room and closed the door.

"It's fine if she disappeared not long ago just like my sister-in-law."

……

Sitting on the bed, my aunt's voice gradually faded away.

As tranquility arrived, my heart gradually calmed down.

I don’t mind being scolded; I can also endure hunger.

I have met someone who can say such things casually a long time ago.

As long as I think in my heart, this is not where I belong.

...My existence, after all...

When I woke up again, it was already late at night.

I looked out the window and slowed down my ragged breathing.

There were only sparse lights in the darkness.

Hey, why is Wu still here?

Sleep on the floor.

I don’t know if there is a mat, otherwise it’s easy to catch a cold.

Who pulled the curtains?

However, it doesn't matter anymore.

When I calmed down, my shirt was already soaked with sweat.

Oh, I remember now, I came to my cousin’s house by myself.

But my memory of what happened after I entered the door became blurry.

I hope it won’t get confusing.

Is it a fever? When did it happen...

My body is exhausted, but I don't want to fall asleep now.

A huge feeling of sadness came over me all at once, and it took me a long time to calm my heartbeat.

For me, it is something I want to forget as soon as possible, but unforgettable experiences cannot be erased so easily.

but.

Compared to getting through it alone in the past, it’s so much easier to have someone by your side.

There is no need to drag your heavy body outside to buy medicine, nor do you have to boil water to warm yourself.

Even the heart is warm, as if this disease is just a tool to create a warm picture.

Terry's eyes brightened, but then dimmed again.

I don’t have any parents or relatives in my heart, so things like this won’t happen many times. Maybe it will only happen once in my life.

I saw my cell phone on the bedside table, so I turned over to get it.

But a pair of hands grabbed the phone before me.

"Ah~Satoru."

It would have been fine if I hadn’t spoken, but as soon as I spoke I realized my voice was hoarse.

"I'll get it for you."

Wu slowly helped me lie down.

This effortless movement is really comfortable.

This was the first thought that came to my mind.

Shaking my head, I looked at Wu, not understanding why he came.

what time is it now?

I picked up my phone and saw that it was already four o'clock!

I suddenly realized, "I can't fill your gaps, right?"

This sentence popped up in my mind.

why?

Even though I had already refused, he still came to see me.

I have never been loved or treated gently.

He clearly wants it so much, but once it's given to him, he runs away out of confusion.

I hate myself more and more.

...Can I disappear by morning?

Just like a vampire in darkness, turning into ashes in the sunlight.

That's also a kind of beauty.

After all, I am a garbage-like existence who neither knows how to love nor be loved and is not needed.

Even I don’t want to be like this.

"……ah-"

Warm liquid flowed from the corners of her eyes because of the man in front of her.

Am I, crying?

Wow, so lame.

Really, so lame...

"Feel sorry……"

Suddenly, Wu's voice was heard in the darkness.

"I couldn't be by your side in time."

Huh? What does this mean?

I looked at Wu in confusion.

“By backing off because of something like that, I know I’ve let you down.

But please give me another chance."

Eh? That's impossible.

Actually...I am very happy too.

The warmth coming from Wu's palm was like holding my hand like in the TV series.

That warmth is really comfortable.

"I couldn't sleep because I was worried about you. After seeing your message, I realized that it was hard for me to leave you."

Oh, it’s the SNS (Social Networking Services) that I posted before.

I remembered that when we were on the road, I said, "I'm staying at my cousin's house for the next few days. If you have any questions, please contact me by phone."

That’s not right. I didn’t seem to tell him that I was sick. How did Wu know that?

“Cough cough…” I wanted to ask Wu how he knew that, but I started coughing as soon as I opened my mouth.

But, as if he had read it from my expression, Wu said:

"I asked Yan, and he said you collapsed as soon as you arrived."

"I brought some drinks and cold medicine from home."

Ah...thank you so much.

I was still sorting out the situation when Wu brought me the water.

"Drink some hot water. I'll take your temperature later."

I was indeed a little thirsty, so I took a few big gulps of water from the cup, and my mind immediately became much clearer.

It took me until I came to my senses to react.

Wait, it’s already this late, why isn’t he asleep yet?

If I remember correctly, it was already four o'clock in the morning.

"You, why?"

"Hmm?" Wu paused and became quieter.

"Why did you come?"

"I told you, you have a cold."

"No, because, at that time, I -"

Because he raised his voice, he started coughing again and didn't finish his words.

However, Satoru said “Ahhh” as if he understood.

You already know what I want to say? I can't believe it. Is it true that we can be in sync with each other?

"Don't worry, I just acted on my own will." Wu handed me the cup of water again.

"What do you mean by insisting on having your own way..."

I held the glass of water and sat up.

Wu continued, “Besides, it was said.”

"By whom?"

"Good man."

"Good man?"

Wu nodded and said what the good man had said before.

"'It makes me angry to see you guys keep quarreling, hurry up and make peace'... something like that."

"Pfft~"

I burst out laughing at once.

How arrogant can this guy be?

Obviously, I am not in a position to worry about other people.

"Then when I heard you had a cold, I got worried."

"But," Wu took out the thermometer, "this is also a chance for me to have a good chat with you."

Then he looked at it carefully in the moonlight.

"37°C, it looks like the fever has gone away."

Wu said as he put the thermometer into the box and took a pillow and put it behind me.

I took it obediently and leaned my back against the pillow.

Ah, it feels so easy.

I am really naive.

"I'm really useless. I just let you take care of me."

"That's not the case." Wu said with a smile.

"Thank you, really."

I thanked him gratefully.

To be honest, I don’t really want to be seen as a coward.

However, it doesn't matter what this guy says, as it's unbelievable.

As expected, there’s no need to be too formal with Wu.

Super easy.

"Well." Wu turned around and sat on the mat on the ground, "It's good enough that I wasn't scolded and told to go back.

I smiled, but felt a little embarrassed.

Finally, what should I say to Wu?

Whether I want to refuse or accept, I cannot give a serious answer as long as I am not in a mood to make a choice.

So, I said slowly:

"Well, I'm saying..."

“Not yet,” Wu interrupted.

"what?"

"I didn't come here today to hear your answer, I came here to talk to you."

Satoru knew in his heart that as long as he was with Terry, he would be happy.

I was so excited to sleep in the same room that I couldn't sleep the whole night.

…………

I do not quite understand.

You really are a good guy.

Even I myself began to doubt why you were attracted to me;

It would be such a waste to give it to me.

"Terry." Wu suddenly called my name.

"What's the matter?" I looked at him.

“It would be nice if I could meet someone who can fill your void.” Wu said.

His voice was different from usual, very small.

Come to think of it, it was the same then. I couldn't hear clearly on the way, as people were whispering.

— — "I can't fill your gap, right?"

That's it.

Most likely, this is the real him.

Don't hide or do anything, just say your true feelings directly like this.

In other words, in order to face me seriously, enlightenment is to speak with the original intention.

Then, I also -

"Enlightenment." I shouted.

"Ok?"

Looking into Wu’s eyes, I encouraged myself mentally.

It's nothing, I just want to say what I'm thinking right now. It doesn't take much courage to say this.

Speak out your most genuine feelings; don’t hide or avoid.

"Apart from liking or disliking you, I want to be closer to you."

I spoke word by word, very slowly but clearly.

"Ah, uh...what is this, what does it mean?"

Wu's expression changed from excitement to shock and then to calmness, and then he suppressed his excitement and spoke calmly.

I was a little shy, but I continued:

"Although I don't know if I can fill it, but are you willing to be with me?"

"Ah, wait, Terry." Wu didn't know what to say.

It's impossible to refuse, but if I agree directly, it would seem like I'm taking advantage of someone's misfortune.

My mouth and tongue were fighting, but I could no longer tell whether the heat in my head was from a fever or shyness.

Satoru may have calmed down, but he still covered his mouth and spoke quietly: "Can you follow me?"

"Of course." I agreed readily.

No need to rush.

Now all I have to do is face the people who are willing to look at me seriously.