After being reincarnated, he joined a top boy band and then lost it

Death smells like raindrops on fallen leaves on a village road. ————Hesse

Song Shengshi stood at the door of the funeral home and received his mother's ashes.

One after another, he has sent away his third and last relative in this funeral home.

Compared with the sadness and tears of others, Song Shengshi's calmness seemed out of place.

His emotions seemed to have reached their peak at the age of 22, exhausted at the age of 26, and then continued to hold their breath until now.

But obviously in this place, everyone uses all their strength to say goodbye and tell their own pain, and no one will pay attention to aliens who have nothing to do with themselves.

Song Shengshi was born in anticipation, as the first child born in this generation of the family.

Song Shengshi's father and mother specially asked the most educated old man in the village to name the unborn child.

The boy is called Shengshi, and the girl is called Qingyue, which means "Qingyue in the prosperous age".

However, the character "Sheng" has too much luck, and the old man was afraid that the child would be weak after birth, so he changed "Sheng" to "Sheng".

Mom and dad wanted to give Song Shengshi better education and living conditions, so they took him, who was less than one year old, across most of China to settle in Guangzhou.

I worked hard to save money, and in two years I saved a small amount of 100,000.

Through some old photos, Song Shengshi vaguely glimpsed some memories that he had forgotten. Before he was three years old, he was undoubtedly happy.

When Song Shengshi was three years old, his father's investment failed. All the money he had saved for two years was wasted, and he was also saddled with a debt of nearly 200,000 yuan.

This is undoubtedly a huge blow to a family who came from the countryside. In order to survive, the young couple worked from dawn to dusk to earn money and pay off their debts.

Under extreme fatigue, stress and anxiety, any dissatisfaction can become a trigger for quarrels.

When Song Shengshi was four years old, her younger sister Song Qingyue was born. That memory was also vague to Song Shengshi.

I only remember that the house was always dark, and my sister was weak and often sick.

My mother's depressed and depressed cries often came from the toilet. White smoke lingered in the sky all the time, and the floor was covered with cigarette butts and messy clothes.

After Song Shengshi entered elementary school, her life gradually changed. Her father no longer came home often, which avoided the source of quarrels.

The family's debts have almost been paid off, and only some of the close relatives' debts have yet to be paid, so the situation is much clearer.

Song Shengshi's training plan finally began to be put on the agenda.

In the third grade, when Song Shengshi came home from school, his mother happily hugged him and told him that he could go to the Children's Palace to participate in interest classes like other children this week.

Song Shengshi nodded in a mature manner and hugged her mother back. In fact, she was so excited that she couldn't sleep in the middle of the night.

There has been no quarrel at home for almost half a year. Now that I can go to the Children's Palace, my life will gradually get better.

The young Song Shengshi fell asleep with a smile and had a sweet dream.

The dream only lasted a year and then ended.

The next year, when Song Shengshi told his father to go to the Children's Palace to pay the fees for the new year, his father looked embarrassed.

He said that his younger sister was going to kindergarten this year. The public kindergarten that Song Shengshi studied in originally didn't want her, so she had to go to an expensive private school.

He understood what his father said, but he couldn't hide the disappointment in his heart. He nodded and returned to his room.

That night, mom and dad had a big argument, and I vaguely heard that dad was accusing mom of not giving Song Shengshi the bullshit children's palace in the first place.

Song Shengshi woke up in the middle of the night and heard her mother sobbing hiding in the toilet.

That night, Song Shengshi stayed up all night. His mother's cries and his father's humiliating accusations pierced his heart like needles.

Although he didn't know what the emotion was, since then, Song Shengshi had learned to be the child his parents expected, to observe words and emotions, and to respond appropriately at the right time to cover up his disappointment and dissatisfaction.

He has become the most nurturing and worry-free child.

The rest of his life was very step-by-step. When Song Shengshi looked at the colorful lives of his classmates, it was impossible not to be envious.

In order to prevent himself from envying others, Song Shengshi forced himself to focus on his studies.

Use your schedule to fill the gaps in your time, empty your mind to relax, and use an almost masochistic analysis of your own psychology to maintain a stable mental state.

This was a behavioral pattern that Song Shengshi concluded at that time was most suitable for him. It would not hurt him or break him down, and it would also make his parents happy.

At the age of 22 and a senior in college, Song Shengshi had been studying step by step for more than ten years, trying his best not to relax, and finally saw some glimmers of victory.

His grades are enough to keep him in graduate school, which means that he will have a gap of nearly half a year. Although he is in school during this time, it is completely his own.

Song Shengshi is looking forward to life after graduate school, and plans to use the money saved from working for several years to take his family on a trip abroad to ease the relationship at home.

Because almost every quarrel in the family is related to money. As long as the money is in place, there should be no problems.

However, just before the job interview, Song Shengshi received the news that his sister Song Qingyue had committed suicide.

He bought the nearest plane ticket and hurried home. What was waiting for him was a cold corpse that would never open his eyes again, never smile and act coquettishly and ask his brother to treat him to milk tea.

He could barely remember what he was feeling at that time. After reading his sister's suicide note, he only felt his head was buzzing.

When he regained consciousness, what awaited him was the administrative penalty of being detained for three months for intentionally injuring others and for beating his sister's boyfriend Wang Mu.

My sister has a boyfriend named Wang Mu. He knows about it, and he also knows that his grades are not very good and he has a lot of bad habits like smoking, drinking, and drinking.

Because his father often smokes, Song Shengshi and his mother and sister are often forced to smoke all kinds of second-hand smoke at home.

Moreover, my father loves to drink. After drinking, he can't control his temper, and his voice often gets louder when he talks.

When they get more advanced, there will be fights. Song Shengshi will not stop them from quarreling, but if the fight is serious, they will stop it.

Every time Mom and Dad are fine, they get into a fight and get injured all over.

Therefore, Song Shengshi had a very bad impression of boys who drank and smoked, and he couldn't understand why Song Qingyue wanted to find such a guy.

Although I have expressed my distrust and concern for this seemingly very social boyfriend many times.

My sister always refused and got angry at Song Shengshi on the grounds that she could judge and make decisions on her own. She was extremely stubborn.

As time passed, Song Shengshi never thought of persuading her again.

He thought, after all, it was her own life, and she had to learn to be responsible for her own decisions. Some truths had to be learned before she could understand them.

Very cruel, but true thoughts.

This has always been Song Shengshi's living standard in this family, because he thinks he knows how stubborn his relatives are.

Only by keeping a certain distance and trying not to interfere with your family's decisions under certain circumstances can the family maintain peace and harmony.

Before the age of 22, he always believed this and kept it firmly in mind as a motto that he always warned himself.