After rebirth, my childhood friend became a clingy person

164

Jiang Yannan's car stopped at the door of the villa.

The room was pitch black, without the warm light that usually filled the room when I returned home.

He sat in the car and stared blankly at the second-floor window for a long time.

Every time he came back, he would habitually look up and see the familiar figure through the curtains.

Jiang Yannan held the still sleeping child in his arms, took out the key to open the door, put on slippers, put the child on his bed, took off his coat, covered him with a quilt, and then slowly walked to the living room.

The whole house was so quiet that even his breathing could be heard clearly. He turned on the light, and the glaring light made him squint slightly. He looked around and found that everything in the house had not changed, but something was missing. He took a deep breath, as if he could smell her remaining scent. He slowly went upstairs and walked into the bedroom. Seeing the neatly folded quilt on the bed, his heart ached. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently stroked the quilt, as if he could still feel her warmth.

Jiang Yannan's eyes were empty and confused. Suddenly, as if he remembered something, he stood up abruptly and rushed to the closet.

He rummaged frantically, and clothes were thrown everywhere.

Finally, he found the small box that she had carefully hidden as a treasure.

His hands were trembling slightly, as if he wanted to open it, but he was afraid that there was a secret hidden here that he could not accept.

Jiang Yannan gritted his teeth and finally opened the box. It was filled with various letters and photos. His eyes were fixed on a yellowed photo, which was a photo of him and her when they were young. The two of them were smiling very brightly.

He picked up the photo and looked at it carefully, tears blurring his eyes. This photo was taken when they got married, and at that time, both of them had full of happiness on their faces.

He didn't know when he lost this happiness.

He put down the photo. In addition to a pile of letters, there were also two yellowed diaries.

Those letters that once made her laugh and smile brightly were now lying there quietly. Jiang Yannan did not have the courage to open them. He was very afraid that his insistence was a joke from beginning to end, and that all this was because of him...

He did not take out the letter, but took out a diary and slowly flipped through it.

1980/ 9/ 1

Today is the day that Ah Yan starts school. I am happy but sad at the same time. I am happy that he can finally continue to go to school. I am sad that I will no longer have the chance to walk side by side with him.

1980/ 10/ 1

The school is finally on vacation. I specially asked for a day off from Ma Ge today, and wanted to go to the rally with A Yan.

But Ah Yan said he didn't want to go and wanted to study hard at home. That's right, this year is crucial, I shouldn't disturb him...

But, I'm still a little sad.

1980/ 10/ 25

Ah Yan came to see me today, I was really happy. He wanted to hold my hand, but I quickly shook it off. He seemed unhappy, so I had to cheer him up.

I have a lot of chilblains on my hands, they are red and swollen, I am afraid he will be sad if he sees it...

1981/ 1/ 28

Tomorrow is the Little New Year, and Ayan has gone home for the holiday. My head hurts so much, and even getting sick is a luxury now. I suddenly miss Ayan so much, and wonder if he is scared when he is alone at home?

……

1981/ 8/ 15

Ayan finally got into university. I was so happy, even happier than he was.

Looking at these hands covered with thick calluses, I feel that all the suffering is worth it.

……

1981/ 9/ 1

Coming to this strange city with Ayan, I was actually very scared. I didn’t know what I could do here.

But seeing him smiling so happily beside me, I could only suppress this uneasiness.

I think everything will be fine.

1981/ 9/ 10

Ayan has been in school for more than a week, but I still haven't found a job.

Those better companies either have educational requirements or family connections. Someone like her who has nothing has no chance at all.

1981/ 9/ 15

I still found a job washing dishes in a restaurant kitchen.

I looked down at my hands. Perhaps this is where I should be...

But why do my eyes feel so sore and uncomfortable?

Bro, I miss you...

……

1981/ 10/ 1

A Yan is on holiday again, so I took half a day off and cooked a sumptuous meal.

It has been a long time since we sat together to eat like this. Unfortunately, happy times are always short-lived.

The rented house only had one room, and he went back to school in the afternoon. Actually, I wanted to tell him that it was okay, I could sleep on the floor.

But, looking at his back, I didn't say anything...

1983/ 4/ 11

Because I work three jobs, I fainted in the store today. Although I was given half a day off, my boss was not happy. He said that if I fainted like this again, I would not have to work.

Poor people don’t even dare to get sick.

When she returned to her rented house and looked at herself in the mirror, her face was as thin and pale as a ghost. She couldn't believe that this was the herself who once prided herself on her beauty.

Sick people want their loved ones to be with them.

I called my brother, but no one answered.

I held the receiver tightly and refused to let go, as if I could hear Ayan's voice this way.

A little funny, a little sad...

……

July 1984

Jiang Yannan started his internship this semester and was so busy that he hasn't been back since school started...

Being busy is good...

July 1984

Jiang Yannan finally graduated and found a very good job.

I don’t know what happened to me today, but I suddenly held my hand and started crying.

I just smiled faintly and said nothing.

We haven't seen each other for a few months. When we meet now, we don't seem to know what to say to each other...

July 1984

Jiang Yannan rented a new house, a two-bedroom one, which was much better than the previous one.

I looked around and Jiang Yannan kept asking me if I liked it.

I just smiled and said nothing.

What I want is not much, actually. I just hope that he can spend more time with me, like we did when we were little.

However, I knew it was just wishful thinking, so I said nothing.

July 1984

Ah Yan came back unexpectedly today, I was really happy. I thought he came back specially to celebrate my birthday with me.

So I bought a lot of his favorite dishes, worked hard for an entire afternoon, and finally made a large table of dishes.

As a result, he told me apologetically that he had to accompany his boss to a social event in the evening.

I really want to happily say "It's okay" to him, but I really can't do it.

I had a big fight with him and threw all the cooked food into the trash can.

We parted on bad terms.

I think he completely forgot my birthday.

This was probably the most serious fight we had in all these years.

We were in the Cold War.

He came back occasionally, and I just prepared meals and no longer forced myself to find topics to talk to him. We just sat there in silence.

Gradually, he came back less and less...

I think we are drifting apart after all.

……