Why not hang yourself on the southeast tree

My mother's way of expressing her grievances was to press me under her buttocks. I didn't agree to that and naturally struggled.

The mother and daughter rolled around in each other's arms for several times, and only stopped when they were so tired that they were gasping for breath.

I have to say, seeing it in agony these days has greatly reduced my fighting spirit.

Liu Bo can testify that among pandas of the same level, I am a person who can make a big splash if I don’t make a sound.

Even Tuan Tuan, who is very stubborn, has suffered from my fists several times.

Oh, speaking of Tuantuan, this guy who forgets his friends for the sake of beauty has already gone on his honeymoon with his beloved.

What a shit the promised love is. The words are still ringing in my ears, but the bears have flown away together.

Phew, it's like it farted out of its mouth.

Liu Bo said, my ugly brother has a name, Qiaoqiao.

I was biting into a piece of bamboo that had an old texture, and it broke with a "crack". The piece in my hand was still in my mouth, and the other piece flew out.

Liu Bo raised an eyebrow, seeing the disapproval on my face.

[It just so happens that it matches your name. I can tell right away that we are related by blood. Otherwise, what else should I call it?! ]

Three months later, I finally had to admit that everyone was very foresighted in naming.

Qiaoqiao, who follows me all day long, probably had her tree-climbing skills ignited in her mother's womb. Her tree-climbing speed, swaying left and right like a monkey, stunned the audience.

Someone recorded the entire scene and uploaded it to the Internet, which immediately made the headlines.

[Men can be trusted. Sows can climb trees. I don’t know if sows can really climb trees, but a three-month-old panda cub can climb a 20-meter-high tree without any fear!!!]

Look at the title, the person who posted the video must be a girl!

In addition to climbing trees, Qiaoqiao jumps up and down all day long and follows me wherever I go.

Qiaoqiao's hair is neither gray nor pink, and has some natural curls, making her look like she is not of pure descent.

Liu Bo said that this is because the mother's love for it is too deep -

I would lick it no matter what, licking along the fur and then licking against the fur. After doing this back and forth many times, the little guy's fur, which should have turned black and white, turned into gray, pink and black. It will be fine after a while.

Despite my constant procrastination, the wedding day soon arrived.

Liu Bo was afraid that I would run away again, so he called Big Brother to chase me and took me to a garden that I seldom went to.

Maybe it's the female hormones in my body that make me find these panda brothers who are posing and flirting surprisingly pleasing to the eye——

The older brothers' eyes were so charming. They rushed towards me, rubbing against the ground.

Eight hundred standard bearers rushed to my bed, okay? !

[Little darling, pick the one you like best! These are all good guys! ]

Liu Bo held back his laughter and encouraged loudly.

The eldest brother had brought Tuantuan here a long time ago to pick out his ideal husband, and now he was just waiting to become a grandfather.

By the way, Tuantuan is not pregnant yet.

I've heard that it's not easy for us giant pandas to conceive naturally, especially since the weather has been cold recently. It will be easier once it gets warmer and we increase our activity level.

Liu Bo’s two naughty kids are already in kindergarten, and I, who am only half a month older than them, am choosing a son-in-law on the spot and will be getting married soon.

This world is so absurd...

I chose the fat panda who handed the peeled and fresh bamboo shoots to my mouth.

Being willing to give away delicious food is considered to be the most generous among us food-protecting pandas.

Qiaoqiao loves her sister so much, isn’t she always reluctant to share any delicious food with me, her sister?

The wedding was quite simple, with Liu Bo and the eldest brother as the officiants.

My silly boyfriend is called Zhuan Zhuan, that’s right, Zhuan Zhuan, the wooden stake.

He was born in the same year as me, but he is two full heads bigger than me. When he sits there, if you only look at his back, he really looks like the stump of a century-old tree, broad, thick, solid and reliable!

Because I have not received any special guidance on the matter of marriage, apart from diligently sharing his favorite fruits with me, Zhuan Zhuan doesn't know about the Zhougong etiquette.

In other words, we were both ignorant pandas, while other panda couples would hide from outsiders when mating.

Where can we look?

The surveillance camera above is on 24 hours a day, and Liu Bo on the other end of the camera was rubbing his forehead in anxiety.

[Oh, these two idiots, all they know is eating! 】

[Zhuanzhuan is the same, don’t you have any masculine instinct? ]

The anxious breeder Zhuan Zhuan who was standing next to him blushed after hearing these words.

He knew the breeder's manual by heart, but it didn't mention any adult guidance...

After all, I am an adult who has lived through more than a dozen lifetimes and given birth to so many children that I have become accustomed to being born a girl.

After a few days of developing feelings, the surveillance camera finally saw a scene that made everyone's blood boil -

I knocked him down and did it on the spot.

Yes, I took the initiative.

Zhuan Zhuan was so embarrassed that she wished she could dig a hole in the ground and crawl into it and never show her head again.

I grimaced, thinking that I regretted not having read enough books when I needed them. No one had ever told me that pandas’ things were so mini…

No wonder pandas have a low birth rate. Who can we blame for the poor hardware? !

There is a reason why giant pandas are protected animals...

It wasn't until the summer that Tuantuan and I received good news.

Liu Bo helped me calculate the due date, and the earliest would be the end of October, which is 100 days later.

As a result, when the day came, I was still able to eat and sleep, but Tuantuan had an attack.

I could hear its cries of pain from across several cages.

Are you stupid? Don’t you know to save some energy so that you can give birth to a baby?

The birth canal is so narrow, and the level of pain is beyond what I could have imagined when I was a female mosquito.

Liu Bo went over to take a look and saw Tuantuan hanging upside down on the iron cage. It was aggressive towards everyone and had violently scraped off a large piece of the wall.

Five hours passed and Tuantuan was still not born.

The amniotic fluid had broken long ago. Big Brother squatted across the iron cage, closest to Tuantuan, and clenched his fists.

[Tuantuan, Xiaoer, come on, don't let up! ! ! ]

He didn't dare to speak too loudly, for fear that the extremely exhausted Tuantuan would get angry again.

Liu Bo patted his shoulder and felt a little scared, thinking that there was someone he was worried about over there.

Seven hours.

Nine hours.

The elder brother rubbed his eyes, and in a trance he saw Tuantuan pick up a small, struggling thing from the ground.

[It’s born! It’s born! ]

He immediately notified other people in the same group that they would examine the newborn and put it in an incubator to pass the critical period.

Tuantuan was so tired that she didn't care about anything else. She put the baby on her stomach and fell asleep with her head tilted.

The big brother sneaked in and took the cub away without it noticing.

Liu Bo told me the good news, but I was still sleepily stuffing bamboo shoots into my mouth and pooping.

Finally, I became the person I hate, eating and pooping like my mom...

The surveillance camera above dutifully recorded this scene and uploaded it to the official account, which attracted a lot of complaints.