Why not hang yourself on the southeast tree

Black Earth Dog didn't know whether the Taoist priest was good at Qinggong.

The man and the dog fled back home as if they were chased by ghosts, closed and locked the door, stuffed dry firewood into the dying fire, and huddled in front of the fire and shivered together.

The cold sweat on the Taoist's back flowed into his flowered shorts, making him feel wet and uncomfortable. It was even colder than when he was a teenager and first went to a stranger's house with his master to sit in front of the coffin and chant sutras and keep vigil.

The black earth dog stuck out its tongue [hahaha], its owner was afraid and it was afraid too.

Wang Defa, who was thrown there with nothing done and an innocent look on his face, said: I am full with this meal, but what about the next one?

After burning the yellow paper, Old Man Li went home with the liquor. He immediately discovered that the backyard had been cleared out. He jumped three feet high in anger.

He searched the yard for the man who killed the chicken, cursing, but couldn't find even a footprint.

[Damn, Wong Tai Sin has gone down the mountain? ]

He chattered incessantly, picked up the liquor and took two big gulps, then angrily kicked over the small stool at his feet, breaking it from four legs to three.

Little did he know that the homeless chicken killer, the python spirit, was sleeping soundly on the beam above his head.

The Taoist hid at home for two days and didn't dare to go out, until the filial son of a woman who was in charge of the funeral in the next village came to pick her up on a motorcycle.

The filial son's mother died of pancreatic cancer. She weighed more than 300 pounds and for more than 30 years she enjoyed beating and scolding her one, two, three, or four daughters-in-law.

With his death, the four daughters-in-law were finally liberated and sat in front of the coffin happily playing mahjong.

The Taoist priest sat on the back of a bumpy motorcycle and when he arrived, none of the four hostesses gave him a good look, not to mention any red envelopes, cigarettes or alcohol.

The filial son is the eldest in the family. He rubbed his hands and his eyes were badly swollen.

[Sir, please show my mother what else you need to prepare? ]

The Taoist walked around the mahjong table and took a look at the back. He lit incense and candles. The smoke went straight up without dodging. He nodded slightly.

(The author sits cross-legged with his five hearts facing the sky and basking in the sun: Funeral rituals involve feudal superstitions, and I am afraid of being madly attacked by the foreign persimmon platform, so I will omit 100,000 words here... I guess no one wants to read it, it's very thrilling and scary.)

The black dog that was abandoned at home licked the dog bowl clean and was still hungry.

The Taoist family's food conditions are considered the best in the village. Every now and then they have big fish, meat and bones packed back from funeral banquets.

However, the Taoist also adheres to the tradition of not letting the guard dogs eat too much. Each time, they only scoop two shovels of leftovers into the dog bowl, mix it with a little broth, sprinkle a handful of vegetables, cover it with one or two slices of meat, and then add the bones that have been cleaned.

He went out in a hurry that day, and there was still some leftovers from the last meal in the dog bowl.

[Woof woof…]

【hiss--】

Before Wang Defa showed up, he was discovered by that stupid dog.

The black dog jumped up and barked, then backed away, its tail tucked between its hind legs. It took all its strength just to hold back the urge to pee.

Wang Defa: Why are you yelling? I haven’t done anything yet…

The Taoist's refrigerator was filled to the brim with meat donated by various households.

Wang Defa used his tail to pry open the refrigerator door and saw a large bowl of milky white solids. He thought it was ice cream, so he jumped into the bowl and took a big bite.

Soft and silky, with a rich oily aroma.

?? ?

The taste is wrong, it's lard...

[Woof woof woof——]

The silly dog ​​was doing his duty faithfully, with his body pressed against the wall, his head facing the refrigerator, his eyes closed and shouting, with a long string of saliva at the corners of his mouth.

(ˉ﹃ˉ)

Lard, when the Taoist cooks soy sauce rice, he always likes to scoop out a big spoonful, leaving no room for the dog...

Wang Defa swallowed the greasy lard with difficulty and felt a coolness flowing down his throat, which was smoother than ever before.

It's not right to have no woman who knows how to manage the house. The refrigerator is a mess, full of sauces, leftovers, eggs, and the meat is frozen and hard to eat.

Wang Defa urgently needed a lot of food to repair his body. The six chickens would only keep him full for an hour, so he would be hungry for two days...

[Woof woof woof——]

The silly dog ​​cannot empathize. It can go to the fields to catch voles, but at this moment, it just wants to drive out the invading monsters.

Wang Defa, who has horns on his head, disdains to eat field mice.

As for the changes after the minor advancement, apart from the shrinkage in size, the only thing left is speed, and none of the other legendary supernatural powers... The internal injuries after being struck by lightning still need to be recuperated slowly, what a pity.

The round camera on the refrigerator is working.

Neither the snake nor the dog in the confrontation knew it.

A Taoist in the next village received an APP notification on his mobile phone: [The refrigerator was opened for a long time, the dog barked for half an hour, and it was suspected that a stranger had broken in! ]

The Taoist frowned and quickly clicked on the two hidden surveillance cameras where he hid his money.

Phew, the copper lock on the secret room door is intact and shiny.

The money is still there!

When he switched to the refrigerator's perspective, a pitch-black afterimage swallowed the dog's head...

The picture freezes, it's that snake demon...

At the funeral, the suona and erhu were still playing vigorously, loud and clear.

The invited chef for the village banquet was chopping bones with his apprentice.

The Taoist stood still, his hands trembled, and the talisman paper was blown away by the wind. The talisman painted with cinnabar on it had not yet dried completely, and as soon as it fell to the ground, it was covered with dust and could not be used.

The surveillance camera was still transmitting the images in real time - at first, the stupid dog, with most of its body exposed, was kicking and struggling, but gradually it became motionless.

The small snake, as long as an arm, gradually changed from a round stick to the shape of a dog.

The snake stuck its neck out and swallowed hard. After a while, there was only a black dog tail left outside its mouth with no place to put it...

The Taoist's eyes turned red.

Angry.

The dog owner's face was rubbed by the snake's feet.

(Wang Defa: What? Look carefully, where do I have feet?)

He put the copper coin sword in his backpack, went to the kitchen to scoop a large ladle of glutinous rice, called the filial son and got on the motorcycle.

They sped along at lightning speed, and the filial son was so frightened by the Taoist's aura that he dared not say a word.

When we got home, the snake was lying there with its burnt skin stretched out.

Taoist: ...

Wang Defa: Burp, one meal is equivalent to three meals~

The filial son's face turned pale and he subconsciously grabbed the hem of the Taoist's robe which was stained by the motorcycle fender.

The Taoist stopped at the door, took out his copper coin sword, aimed at the snake and sprinkled a handful of glutinous rice.

The room was silent, nothing happened.

Wang Defa opened his eyelids and saw only the tempting golden light of merit.

The Taoist learned from his master how to exorcise ghosts and suppress evil spirits, but these tricks are ineffective against snake demons.

He turned and went into the kitchen to grab the pottery jar on the wall. It was his treasured realgar wine.

【Wow——】

Wang Defa was drenched all over. He stretched out his tongue to lick it: Hmm, bitter, not tasty.

【Wow——】

Another large basin of rooster blood was poured, and Wang Defa licked the blood that was dripping down: Well, without adding salt, pepper powder and chili powder to make blood tofu, it doesn't taste good.

The Taoist was at a loss.

The filial son retreated tremblingly to the door, called for help, and reported to the local forestry bureau.

Supernatural emergencies among the people are often listed as major and secret cases - in less than half an hour, a biological laboratory sent a helicopter to the scene.

In addition to the three researchers in white robes, they were also accompanied by a cameraman and an uncle in a hat with a gun.

Uncle Hat concentrated his firepower and aimed at the target.

Uh, count down to three, two, one. The target is drowsy and has no special reaction to external objects.

A few people who were extremely nervous wiped the non-existent cold sweat from their foreheads and said: Okay, it's not difficult.

Wang Defa was taken away in a sack while he was still dazed.

There were a few big words written on the sack: Shi Mouli's urea compound fertilizer, which the Taoist found in the woodshed.

The helicopter drove back to the base, and after two transfers, the group returned to the biological laboratory with a confidentiality level of 9S.

When scientists catch young monsters, they will be sliced ​​and studied.

Draw blood, take biopsies, and explore biological structures and evolutionary processes.

The old scientist, with his beard sticking out with excitement, gestured with the syringe and scalpel, his eyes filled with excitement and desire for the unknown world that almost overflowed.

The needle broke.

The knife slipped and sent out a string of sparks.

The old scientist didn't believe it, so he took the largest knife and stabbed it vertically, making only a sharp and piercing metal friction sound.

[Hahaha, Old Yu, Old Yu, I told you not to laugh at me. The little bugs here cannot be dissected, and the same goes for your little snake, hahaha! ]

[That's different. According to the villagers, this is a native creature of our country. Your alien bugs are not worth studying except for laziness and greed...]

Old Yu was not convinced and started a fight with his old rival through the surveillance camera.

The researchers standing on the periphery were used to it and just stood there with their hands folded, not helping either side.

Unexpectedly, the person on the other end was supported by someone and came over with a transparent box in his hand - there was a fat white worm wriggling inside, which looked like a silkworm but was not a silkworm.

Wang Defa, who was lying on the operating table bored, stood up quickly.

The fat white insect made the same move, with the tip of its tail supported on the bottom of the box, and its mouthparts opening and closing in the direction of Wang Defa.

Old Yu felt a chill on his back and was about to ask his old rival to get out.

The ferocious little bug turned into a white shadow and pounced on the operating table.

Wang Defa retreated as if facing a formidable enemy.

The little bug chased, and Wang Defa retreated.

The speed is so fast that it is difficult to distinguish with the naked eye.

That little bug had never shown such strength in front of everyone.

[Professor, this can't be the poisonous insects from Yunnan Province? Are they fighting?]

In Wang Defa's eyes, this was not a white insect at all. The insect, which was the size of his little finger, was emitting black mist nearly half a meter high, as thick as ink.

The black fog seemed to be alive and soon covered the entire room. Lao Yu, the oldest man, inhaled the black fog and fell to the ground with a thud.

Then, several others fell down.

Wang Defa held on for a few seconds longer and then fell to the ground with a thud.

The white worm opened and closed its mouthparts, and finally began to enjoy the feast - starting from the head of the most spiritual snake spirit.

Little snake demon, dead!