After the villain was defeated, she still had power in the government

"I……"

Xiao Qing looked hesitant. After a long while, she shook her head and whispered, "I don't know."

do not know?

What's the answer?

Xin Huarong looked at her in confusion, "Why don't you know? You and Atang are mother and son. If Atang knew that you have been staying by his side all this time, he would be so happy."

How can it be?

Xiao Qing forced a smile, with endless bitterness in her eyes, and said, "She won't be happy. Because I am not a qualified mother at all. I have never fulfilled my responsibilities as a mother since I was a child."

Although she and Shen Huarong are master and servant, they actually have a deep relationship and it is not an exaggeration to say that they are sisters.

The events of the past had been weighing on her mind for too long, weighing so heavily on her mind that she could hardly breathe and was almost unable to bear it.

At this moment, when she heard her little sister asking about it, she could no longer hold back and mentioned her past with Fu Yutang for the first time.

“I never thought about giving birth to her.

After leaving the mansion, I realized that I was pregnant, so I immediately went to the doctor to get an abortion pill.

But I didn't expect that the doctor was a quack. I needed abortion pills, but he prescribed me pregnancy-preserving pills.

By the time I realized something was wrong, my belly had already grown so big that I couldn’t use medication to abort the baby…”

At that time, she was actually only fourteen or fifteen years old.

Seeing her belly getting bigger day by day, she was so panicked that she wanted to cry and didn't know what to do.

She didn't want to give birth to the baby in her belly.

In her opinion, that was Fu Ping'an's dirty blood, the evil seed that destroyed the young lady's life, and the scar that reminded her of her unbearable past at all times.

She wanted to abort her so much.

However, she couldn't find anyone who could help her.

"Because the pregnancy was too advanced, no doctor was willing to help me abort the baby. They were afraid that there would be two deaths. Even though I begged them on my knees and said that I was willing to sign a life and death agreement in advance, and I would not complain whether it was life or death..."

Xiaoqing spoke softly, the hot steam from the tea rising up, blurring her eyebrows and eyes, with an indescribable decadence, and her voice was as ethereal as mist that would dissipate with the wind.

"Later, I accidentally heard someone say that if a pregnant woman does strenuous exercise or overworks, there is a high possibility of miscarriage.

So I followed the people in the village to do farm work. I hoped that the baby in my belly would miscarry naturally, even if it would cause heavy bleeding or even if I would die.

But she was too tenacious.

Even though I went through so much trouble, she still managed to survive until she was born."

Xiaoqing closed her eyes. She still remembered the day Fu Yutang was born. It was a rainy autumn day when the sun suddenly came out.

Taking advantage of the rare good weather, the people in the village went up to the mountains in groups with nearby farmers to pick wild fruits.

Because she was too heavy and had difficulty moving, she stayed in the room to rest.

At that time, the yellowish sunlight shone through the window onto her bed, dazzling and warm.

But her heart was as cold as if it was soaked in ice water.

With no one around, she gave birth to her unborn baby all by herself.

"I don't want her at all."

Xiaoqing opened her eyes, looked out the window, and fell into painful memories, "Even if she was born after ten months of pregnancy, I don't want her.

Her existence is a constant reminder of the suffering I have endured.

I held her in my arms and wanted to strangle her to death, but for a moment, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

She was so small, yet so tenacious that she survived until she was born. She hadn’t even opened her eyes to see the world…

I softened my heart. ”