Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city

"Change?" Xiao Lin sneered and said in a low voice, "Change, Li Xiangqian, do you really think you can change anything? Have you seen clearly what this family has become? You brought back the dog, the glutinous rice balls, and anything else you thought could be changed, but you forgot that these problems cannot be solved by these superficial little actions."

Li Xiangqian was hurt by her words, and a deep sense of powerlessness surged in his heart. He lowered his head, gently picked up a glutinous rice ball and put it in the bowl. He suddenly felt very lonely, as if all his efforts had become meaningless. Even so, he still didn't want to give up. "I know that many things are complicated, but I can't just sit there and do nothing." He gritted his teeth and said, "Even if it's just a little change, I want to work hard."

Xiao Lin was silent for a while, as if thinking about what he said, and finally she shook her head, with a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Do you think change is so easy? Do you think that by doing something small, you can make everything better?" Her voice sounded slowly, "Li Xiangqian, you can no longer see clearly your current life. What you call change is actually just escaping."

This sentence was like a heavy hammer, hitting Li Xiangqian's heart. Every word was stinging, and he couldn't help but take a step back. He knew that Xiaolin was right. All these superficial efforts were just to cover up the anxiety and fear in his heart. But how could these things change? He had no answer. The confusion and anxiety in his heart were like an invisible hand, squeezing him tightly, unable to break free.

In the kitchen, the water in the pot began to boil slowly. The glutinous rice balls were cooked and floated on the water, round and plump, as if silently reminding him that life was still going on. And he couldn't stop no matter what.

Xiaolin walked to the dining table, gently picked up a glutinous rice ball and put it into her mouth. Her eyes softened a little, but still not too warm. Li Xiangqian looked at her, and his heart was in pain. He suddenly felt that all his efforts over the years seemed so powerless. No matter what he did, he could not change the growing gap between them, and could not fill the deep rift.

"When can we get better?" Li Xiangqian couldn't help but ask, his voice low and almost pleading.

Xiaolin did not answer immediately, but slowly put down the glutinous rice balls in her hand. After a moment's silence, she finally spoke: "I don't know, Li Xiangqian. I don't know when we will get better." There was no anger in her voice, only helplessness and depression, like the final giving up of this relationship.

This sentence was like a sharp knife cutting open Li Xiangqian's chest, blood gushing out. He didn't say anything else, just looked down at the dumplings on the table, the unspeakable pain in his heart gradually spread. He could no longer tell why this was all for, who he was doing everything for, and what he was pursuing.

The wind outside was blowing harder, and the window frames of the courtyard creaked slightly in the wind. Li Xiangqian sat at the dining table, his heart still empty. He didn't even dare to look up, afraid to see the indifference in Xiaolin's eyes, afraid to hear her words that would completely disappoint him again.

The glutinous rice balls in the water were still rolling slowly, just like Li Xiangqian's mood at the moment. No matter how hard he tried, the glutinous rice balls could never return to their original state, and he could never return to his carefree past.

Li Xiangqian stood in the kitchen, pinching a glutinous rice ball he had just taken out of the bag, his eyes a little empty. His mind was in a mess, and his mood was no longer simple. The room was still quiet, with only a wisp of steam rising faintly above the kettle, looking particularly lonely under the dim light. His wife Xiaolin returned to her room early, as if she didn't want to argue with him anymore, and in the yard, the dog lay quietly in the corner, occasionally whimpering slightly, as if seeking comfort, but not daring to get too close.

Li Xiangqian took a deep breath, his fingertips still stiffly pinching the glutinous rice balls, as if each one was heavy and weighing down his heart. There was a sense of tranquility in the air, just like his inner state at the moment, quiet but inescapable. He gently put the glutinous rice balls into the boiling water and watched them slowly float up. On the surface, everything seemed normal, but in his heart, there was an unspeakable anxiety rolling.

During this period, he always felt like he was trapped in a dead end, struggling but unable to break through. Every time he tried to get out of this predicament, he was pulled back by an invisible force. Life in the courtyard became more and more depressing, with reduced income, his wife's disappointment, and his confusion about the future, which gradually accumulated into an invisible pressure, making him feel like he was carrying a heavy burden every step he took.

He picked up a bowl and gently poured the freshly cooked glutinous rice balls into it. The steam was rising and caressed his face, which slightly relieved his nervousness. Looking at the round glutinous rice balls in the bowl, Li Xiangqian suddenly felt a chill in his heart - these were just some small foods, how could they carry all the problems in his heart?

"Forget it, let's eat." He whispered to himself, as if trying to convince himself to do this seemingly insignificant thing. So, he walked towards the living room with the bowl in his hand, his steps heavy, as if he would be pushed lower with every step. The room was still silent, and the air was filled with a subtle sense of depression, as if every corner was filled with invisible solemnity.

He sat down and blew gently on the hot rice dumplings, trying to calm himself down. However, the ever-expanding void in his heart seemed to never be filled. The soft and sticky feeling of the rice dumplings in his mouth brought him back to his senses. He thought, perhaps the details of life are like these rice dumplings, with a hint of warmth, but unable to hide the deep helplessness forced out by time and pressure.

"If I could go back to the past and make a new choice, would it be different?" Li Xiangqian thought silently in his heart, looking at the glutinous rice balls in the bowl with empty eyes. Those beautiful memories of the past seemed like an illusory dream, and he began to doubt whether all his choices were wrong.

However, the reality around him remained unchanged. There was a faint sound of wind outside the window, and the night air was a little chilly. Li Xiangqian suddenly stood up, put the bowl back on the table, and walked towards the yard. In the yard, the dog was still sitting in the corner, as if waiting for something, or like a shadow that had been ignored for too long.

"You are helpless too, right?" Li Xiangqian whispered to the dog, with a bit of sadness in his eyes. At this moment, his eyes inadvertently swept across the corner of the courtyard, and the shadows around seemed to deepen a bit.