Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city
Chapter 1099 My heart suddenly tightened
He suddenly realized that he seemed to have been focusing on the present and neglecting the past, but had ignored the forces that had supported him to move forward - his wife, his family, and even the courtyard that he was about to completely abandon.
He stood in the yard, feeling that he was standing at a fork in the road, with the past behind him and endless fog ahead. He knew that no matter which direction he chose, there would be consequences that he could not turn back from.
"Are you troubled too?" Li Xiangqian sighed, squatted down, and looked at the dog. The dog seemed to sense his emotions and slowly approached him, with a little vigilance in its eyes, but not too much fear. It gently extended its tongue and licked Li Xiangqian's hand. At that moment, Li Xiangqian felt as if he were in a dream, as if the dog had become the only one who understood him at the moment.
However, Li Xiangqian knew that he could not stay here forever, immersed in this invisible loneliness. Life had to go on, and everyone and everything in the courtyard was forcing him to get out of this fog. But how could he do it? He suddenly felt deeply exhausted, as if all his efforts could not change the predicament before him, and this predicament did not belong to him alone, it was deeply affecting everyone in the courtyard.
"What on earth am I doing?" Li Xiangqian whispered to himself, his voice choking. He had no control over everything in front of him. He was exhausted and wanted to change, but there was no real way out.
The dog in the yard seemed to sense Li Xiangqian's mood and lay down quietly, still looking at him, as if waiting for something.
"You said, will it be better if I keep going?" Li Xiangqian's voice was low, but it carried a helpless strength. He looked up at the dark sky outside the yard, as if the sky was his end, and he could only wander helplessly on this silent land.
He stood there for a long time, and the confusion in his heart became more and more serious. Facing all the difficulties, he felt helpless and even a little depressed. Suddenly, Li Xiangqian felt a strong urge to change, but the path of change seemed unclear. Should he start over again, or keep moving forward and face greater challenges?
At this moment, Xiaolin's voice came from the room: "You haven't eaten yet?"
Li Xiangqian's body stiffened for a moment, and he turned around. The light in the room was still warm, as if giving him a brief comfort. He paused, walked into the room, and sat down at the dining table again. He lowered his head and looked at the bowl of glutinous rice balls. He suddenly felt that his mood at the moment was like the soft and glutinous rice balls. Although calm, it was full of unspeakable entanglement and depression.
"Eat." Xiaolin's voice was a little indifferent, but she didn't blame him anymore.
Li Xiangqian picked up the chopsticks, gently picked up a glutinous rice ball, and put it in his mouth. The hot glutinous rice ball melted in his mouth, bringing a sweet taste. Perhaps, this is his life now, mixed with a little bitterness, but also a little sweet comfort. He put down his chopsticks and looked at Xiaolin. She still lowered her head to eat, as if nothing had happened.
Li Xiangqian sat at the kitchen table. The bowl in front of him was empty. The heat of the glutinous rice balls gradually dissipated, but his heart was filled with even greater confusion. He didn't know when his life became so complicated, as if every decision and every choice quietly brought unexpected consequences. Xiaolin's indifference, his father's reproach, and even Shazhu's "How could you do this" became a heavy burden on his heart.
Sha Zhu is Li Xiangqian's friend, a friend who grew up together. The two have always had a good relationship. Although Sha Zhu is always a little slow and not very smart, he is honest and very enthusiastic. Li Xiangqian didn't want to get him into trouble, but his current situation made him too busy to care about so much. Whenever Sha Zhu came to him, Li Xiangqian always had a reluctant smile on his face, but deep down in his heart, he had long been thinking about using Sha Zhu.
Tonight, Sha Zhu came to Li Xiangqian's house again, with his usual simple smile on his face, but Li Xiangqian found that there was some uneasiness and even some doubt in his eyes. Li Xiangqian looked at Sha Zhu standing at the kitchen door, trying to adjust his mood. He knew that Sha Zhu's purpose of coming this time was not trivial.
"Come, sit down." Li Xiangqian motioned Sha Zhu to sit down, his voice gentle, but it couldn't hide the complicated emotions in his heart. Sha Zhu sat in front of Li Xiangqian like a fool, holding the corner of his pants with both hands, lowering his head and not saying a word, as if something was stuck in his throat.
"Do you need me for something?" Li Xiangqian asked patiently.
"Well...something." Sha Zhu finally raised his head, hesitation flashing in his eyes, "I heard that you're a bit short on funds lately, is that right?" He spoke very carefully, as if afraid of saying something wrong.
Li Xiangqian was slightly stunned, and then something came to his mind. He knew that Sha Zhu was a trusting person, and he was facing financial difficulties at the moment, and he didn't have much cash on hand. The pressure of living expenses at home was gradually increasing, and Li Xiangqian had already considered that he might be able to borrow some of Sha Zhu's resources to temporarily overcome the current difficulties.
"Yeah, it's a bit tight lately." Li Xiangqian nodded and answered in a relaxed tone, "But it's okay, it will be resolved slowly."
Sha Zhu was still a little uneasy, "I heard that you did some business recently and made some money?" he asked cautiously again.
Li Xiangqian's heart suddenly tightened, and his eyes darkened. Doing business? He didn't tell Sha Zhu the news directly, but it was obvious that Sha Zhu had heard some news from other places. Li Xiangqian never liked to reveal some of his little secrets, but today, he suddenly had an inexplicable urge to put everything on Sha Zhu, and even take this opportunity to quickly get out of his current predicament.
"Well, I am doing something." Li Xiangqian responded casually, "But I don't make much money. You know, it's not easy to do business. Take your time."
Sha Zhu looked confused, but nodded anyway, "Do you need any help now? I can help." His tone was still so sincere, without any hypocrisy, as if he was expressing his concern.
Li Xiangqian lowered his head, feeling a little conflicted. Sha Zhu's genuine concern made him reluctant to speak, but the current predicament left him no choice. Li Xiangqian sighed deeply in his heart and finally decided to break the contradiction.
"Actually..." He paused, and suddenly thought of an idea, "Actually, I have a project recently, and I may need some funds. If you have some spare money, lend me some. It won't be too late to pay you back when I get some returns."
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