Siheyuan, integrating everything, cultivating the city

Walking on the path in the village, the cold wind blowing on his face, his thoughts became more and more confused. What happened today? He felt like an outsider, unable to truly integrate into his own life.

He stopped under an old locust tree, stared at the sky in the distance, and took a deep breath. The invisible heaviness still lingered in his heart. Li Xiangqian didn't know what he had done wrong, why he had been unlucky recently, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't change the status quo. He even began to doubt whether he had done something wrong, or whether God was always unfair to him?

He looked down at the cane in his hand - it had been occupying a corner of his home since he picked it up that day. This seemingly ordinary cane now seemed to have become a symbol in Li Xiangqian's heart - a symbol that reminded him of his inescapable fate. He knew that he could not avoid the predicament in front of him no matter what.

"What should I do?" Li Xiangqian murmured to himself in a low voice, as if he was asking himself, the silently standing locust tree, and the distant sky.

Li Xiangqian stood on the path at the entrance of the village, squinting his eyes slightly, and felt a sudden cold wind blowing past. The wind was mixed with the smell of soil and grass, but he didn't feel anything special. Everything in front of him seemed to be shrouded in a thick fog, losing its original clarity. He stood there in a daze, his mind in a mess, and the things he had originally planned to buy seemed to have completely disappeared from his memory.

He raised his hand and touched his forehead, trying to clear his messy thoughts, but found that he didn't have a clear goal. I don't know why, but I always feel inexplicably tired recently, as if no matter what I do, I will feel exhausted physically and mentally. Li Xiangqian frowned, and his inner irritability intensified. He didn't realize that he had actually lost the rhythm and direction of his life a long time ago.

He was going to the small shop in the town to buy some daily necessities, such as oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, and even some tools that were missing at home. But at this moment, he stood there, staring blankly at the blurred village road in the distance. After thinking for a long time, he couldn't remember what to buy at all. He couldn't help but sigh and looked up at the sky. It seemed that there was an inexplicable anxiety in his heart that surged from all directions, making him feel that there was nowhere to escape.

"What on earth am I thinking about?" Li Xiangqian muttered to himself in a low voice. He was originally an organized person who always planned and arranged things, but in the past few days, things have been getting worse and worse. Every detail in life has made him feel troubled and stressed. In front of his eyes, those troubles seemed to keep emerging - Xiaoxue's disobedience, Lin Xiaoyu's silence, and the small problems that kept appearing at home. Every little thing would make him feel powerless, and a series of bad luck made him unable to get rid of the feeling of being unlucky.

Li Xiangqian stopped, put his hands in his trouser pockets, lowered his head and remained silent for a moment. He is no longer young, and the energy and drive he once had seem to have quietly disappeared with the passing of time. Now, facing the pressure and difficulties of life, he feels more tired and powerless. His fingers gently stroked in his trouser pockets, and the invisible anxiety and uneasiness once again enveloped his heart.

"What exactly do I want to buy?" he asked himself again, his voice so low that it was almost inaudible.

Suddenly, he realized that he hadn't calmed down and seriously thought about his life and future for a long time. Every day, he was busy and everything was going on mechanically, but he himself had become more and more vague. Li Xiangqian even began to doubt how much control he had over his life.

In front of him, there was still the familiar path, and the surrounding fields, villages, and trees had not changed at all, but he felt a deep sense of strangeness. This feeling was not because of the change in the environment, but because he himself seemed to have been separated from it all.

"Maybe, I should really do something else." Li Xiangqian suddenly had an idea, as if he had found a new direction. But then, he was stuck with another question - what to do?

He has lost his interest and motivation to do things. Li Xiangqian used to be a dynamic person with a lot of tasks waiting for him to complete every day, but now he always procrastinates and does nothing. Whenever he wants to do something, the faint feeling of fatigue will come uninvited, like a big stone pressing on his heart, making him unable to breathe.

"Where should I go?" Li Xiangqian muttered to himself, with a bitter smile on his face.

The world in front of him was still so quiet. Occasionally, a few sparrows flew over the wires, and the sound of their wings flapping was particularly crisp in the silent air. Li looked forward at them, and suddenly he felt extremely powerless - these sparrows were no different from him. They flew freely in this world, but he was trapped by invisible shackles and could not escape.

"How can I get out of this fog?" Li Xiangqian asked silently in his heart.

He didn't go to the store, nor did he continue walking down the path. Instead, he turned back home, walked into the house, and closed the door, as if this could temporarily isolate the pressure from the outside world. Lin Xiaoyu was still busy in the kitchen. When she heard the door open, she looked up at Li Xiangqian, but didn't say anything. Li Xiangqian didn't pay attention to her gaze, but just walked to the sofa and sat down, lowered his head, and stared at the floor with a dull look.

"What's wrong with you?" Lin Xiaoyu finally put down the spatula in her hand and walked over with a hint of worry on her face. "Did you go shopping in town today?"

Li Xiangqian did not answer immediately. After a long while, he gently shook his head and said, "I... forgot." His voice sounded a little tired and even hollow.

Lin Xiaoyu was a little stunned, obviously she didn't expect Li Xiangqian to say such a thing. "Forgot? Aren't you planning to buy something back?" She frowned, obviously a little puzzled.

"I can't remember clearly." Li Xiangqian said softly, his voice so low that it was almost inaudible.

Lin Xiaoyu sat next to Li Xiangqian and was silent for a moment, as if she realized something. "Are you too tired recently? You've been so busy, and you're in a bad mood?"

Li Xiangqian did not answer, and she did not ask any more questions. She understood that Li Xiangqian was not in a bad mood, but had long been overwhelmed by the trivialities and pressures of life. He had been trying hard to keep the family going, working hard, and taking care of his family, but he had never stopped to think about his inner needs. Lin Xiaoyu was actually very clear that Li Xiangqian had been forced by life to lose himself and become more and more lost.