I am cannon fodder, but I can hug thighs

Lin Jin opened his eyes and looked at the familiar yet unfamiliar ceiling. It was as if he had just left his body and had not yet fully come back to his senses. The depression in his heart was hard to dissipate.

She didn't know how long she had been lying there before she got up. She saw her cell phone beside the bed, took it, deleted all the unread messages, found her bestie's number, and called her.

Lin Jin sat in front of the computer, looking at the manuscripts given to her by Guigui, searching for the description of Song Shixia in them.

"Hey baby, why are you calling me so late?"

Hearing the voice she hadn't heard for a long time, Lin Jin finally came back to her senses. She stammered, "Girl, does Song Shixia have to die?"

Why? Why must Song Shixia, who is so good, die?

"Hmm? Song Shixia? The one in my book?"

"Yeah." Lin Jin covered her lips, her voice choked, but she tried her best not to let the other party hear anything unusual, "Can't you give her a better ending?"

"Why do you ask?" Jiang Tingxue was a little surprised.

"Nothing." Lin Jin's tears fell through her fingers. "I just wanted to ask. I think it's a pity for such a talented woman to die."

"Well, what you said makes sense, but tell me tomorrow, baby. I'm so sleepy now." Jiang Tingxue yawned, "I'll tell you then."

After Lin Jin hung up the phone, she couldn't hold back her tears anymore.

So was it just a dream or something? How could such a real experience be fake?

Lin Jin looked at the interview notification she received on her phone. It was a long time ago, and she would officially start work in a few days. She edited the text message and sent it to the nursing department, saying that she could not come to work.

She didn't know why she did this. After all, current life was reality, and living a good life was real.

But she just didn't want to do this job anymore.

Lin Jin sat in front of the computer, pasted all the written descriptions of Song Shixia into a text, and read it over and over again countless times. He sat like this until dawn, and Lin Jin's eyes had already swollen like walnuts.

She looked at the messages from her parents on her phone and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She hadn't dressed up like a modern person for a long time and felt a little rusty.

Lin Jin took out his cell phone and hailed a taxi a little awkwardly. Knowing what he was about to face, Lin Jin smiled.

Suddenly I felt that the things that had been bothering me didn’t seem so bothersome, and even less difficult.

It's just that she has always been unwilling to accept the fact that she is not loved in this family.

Lin Jin looked at the faces that she had almost forgotten in just a few months. Even her parents, she hardly recognized them.

She put the small bag aside and smiled formally: "What's the matter with calling me back?"

Lin's father and mother looked at Lin Jin and felt that their daughter had suddenly become much more unfamiliar for some reason. However, they thought that it might be because Lin Jin had been in school or hospital most of the time in recent years, so they didn't take it to heart.

Lin Jin supported her head and listened to their urging for marriage, as well as the blind date that had been arranged for her. It was called a blind date, but in fact it was already arranged and all she had to do was meet in person.

She suddenly thought of how cautious Song Shiqiu was when he chose a husband for her, and she suddenly wanted to laugh, but she didn't understand what she was laughing at.

"How much?" Lin Jin asked directly and simply.

"What?" Lin's parents were stunned for a moment, "How much?"

A laugh escaped from Lin Jin's throat: "How much do their families give as a betrothal gift?"

The two looked at each other, with a hint of guilt in their eyes: "Two hundred thousand. Jin, if someone is willing to give you two hundred thousand, it means that they like you very much and value you very much. You won't suffer any loss if you marry him."

“Two hundred thousand.” Lin Jin laughed, laughing at the fact that she was only worth two hundred thousand. “So you sold me for two hundred thousand, and you even thought I was not worthy of it.”

These are her parents.

"Ah Jin, your brother is going to get married, you can't be so selfish." Lin's mother looked at Lin Jin in condemnation, "As a sister, you should be more sensible and act like a sister."

Lin Jin took a deep breath and found that hearing these words now didn’t seem so painful. No, she didn’t feel anything at all.

She thought a lot, and even at one point thought about making a big scene and threatening to commit suicide, but then she thought of Tu Huaining, Song Shiqiu, Shi Nian, Xunmian and other maids, and finally Song Shixia.

You can't commit suicide for such a small matter. Sister Shi Xia will be sad.

"Okay, I get it. Two hundred thousand, I don't have that much." Lin Jin looked at the savings in her phone, planning to save a few thousand yuan for herself to support her life. "Just because I'm your son, give me a discount. Seventeen thousand, I'll buy myself. Is that okay?"

Mother Lin was stunned for a moment, not understanding what Lin Jin meant. Father Lin, on the other hand, patted the coffee table and said, "What nonsense are you talking about? What buying and selling? This is your marriage, and I'm not trying to harm you."

"Well, that was a bit blunt and harsh, sorry." Lin Jin slightly curved her lips, her emotions not fluctuating too much, "But I think it's better for you to agree. After all, it's my freedom to get married or not. If you agree, I'll give you the 170,000 right away."

Mother Lin wanted to say something else: "A Jin..."

Lin Jin raised her hand to interrupt: "Call me Lin Jin, I don't want to hear you call me that."

"I still feel that what I said is not enough. I must tear off the last layer of face." Lin Jin folded his hands and used his eyes to inquire about their meaning.

"You did it for my own good. You forced me to repeat a grade because my younger brother had to go to school. Because the nine-year compulsory education was free of tuition, and because we lived in a remote area, you even waived miscellaneous fees, so you never gave me a penny except for stationery money."

"After high school, it was two hundred yuan a month for living expenses. I want to laugh when I talk about this. Two hundred yuan, fifty or ten yuan a week, in a year, what I spent was less than my brother's monthly living expenses." Lin Jin found that he could even say these words with a smile now.

If it weren't for the scholarships and grants, and the fact that she gave extra lessons to others after class every day, she really didn't know if she would have made it.

"These things happened so many years ago, why do you still remember them? Besides, you're a girl, so don't spend money lavishly. Aren't scholarships and grants enough?" Mother Lin was embarrassed by Lin Jin's words and became a little angry.

Lin Jin put away the last bit of his smile and said, "And then what? You let a student who was in the top ten in the province in the college entrance examination study a nursing major in a second-tier university."

All her efforts over the years became a joke. Her wings were broken time and time again. Even if she grew new wings, they would still be broken.

Finally, she told herself, forget it, give up, this is fate, nothing will change in this life, any effort will be useless.

"Just because they're afraid that I'll leave and never come back, and because they want me to take care of my so-called younger brother. You also know that I may not come back, so what's the reason? Is it my duty to take care of my younger brother? Then why isn't it my parents' duty to take care of me? Isn't love mutual?" Lin Jin's heart grew colder and colder.

Having seen the love Song Shixia had for her and the care Song Shiqiu and the others had for her, she really had to admit that her parents did not love her.

"You haven't even given me enough effort to move yourself." Lin Jin murmured to himself.

If it weren't for Song Shixia, she really felt that she didn't deserve anyone's love.

"What's wrong with nursing? It's easy to find a job with nursing majors, the salary is good, and some hospitals can even give you a chance to become a civil servant. This job is enough to support you. Why should girls be so strong? Girls are so strong..."

"What's wrong with girls being strong?" Lin Jin asked calmly, "If you're so strong, you can't find anyone who wants you? That's just filtering out the wrong options. What's wrong with it? It's obviously good. Oh, it's not good for men, so it's not good. Is that right?"

Although they were all urging her to get married, Song Shiqiu and they gave her a completely different feeling.