I Have Crossed Over, but You Are The Second Week?

And if it is clearly shown from the very beginning that Subaru provided the information on his own will, then when others mention the deed of the crusade against the monster Moby Dick, they will think of the role that Subaru himself played in it. And achievements, not generalized to Emilia's side.

Therefore, how to operate this is still a matter for Crusch to consider.

"Speaking of which, is Ram still the same as before?"

Putting this matter aside for a while, Crusch thought about the breakup between Emilia and Ram that she, Natasia, and Priscia had witnessed with their own eyes.

It's not that she can't understand Emilia, but no matter what perspective she considers, she hopes that Emilia and Ram can reconcile as before.Even if you can't reconcile as before, the worst is the worst, don't be too obviously hostile to each other.

And should it be said that it is Emilia? In Crusch's view, it would be difficult for him to forgive or forgive, but Emilia chose to forgive Ram, and together with Rem Persuading Ram to leave the room.

No matter what the future is, Subaru has the closest relationship with Emilia, not her Crusch.

"It's still the same... No matter how you say it, Ram has no intention of responding."

Thinking of the situation in the past few days, Emilia sighed softly.

Whether it's her or Rem, no matter what they say in front of the door of Ram's bedroom, there is no response in the room, as if there is no one in it, and they are just telling the empty room that there is nothing to say. Useful crap like that.

Thinking about it carefully, from the day when Subaru suddenly left, during the half month, it seemed that except for her standing in front of Ram's room at first, hoping that Ram would come out, and talking to Ram about the hope that both When people were able to reconcile as before, she never heard any voice from Ram except for "I'm sorry" in response from Ram.

"Actually, I've been very worried recently."

After thinking about it, Emilia expressed her worries to Crusch.

"I heard from Rem that because Ram's 'horn' was broken, her body will continue to consume the magic power in her body, and there is no way to replenish it without external force."

"It's been a long time now, which means that Ram hasn't replenished her magic power for a long time. If this continues, before Subaru returns, Ram will..."

Ram would die from his past weakness.

This is an undisputed fact, and if it was time to face that situation, even if they used coercive means and violence, they would have to take Ram out of the room.

Because, Emilia didn't want Ram to die like this.Maybe there was a degree of sympathy in it, but more because Subaru would be sad if Ram died.

Emilia didn't want Subaru to hear the news of Ram's death after she came back, and she didn't want to leave the impression in Subaru's heart that she forced Ram to die because she caused Ram to face the current situation.

Therefore, although it was a selfish idea, Emilia could not accept that Ram continued to lock herself in the room anyway.

"Well, I will ask Phyllis to go to your side to have a look later, if not, even if you force her, you have to take her out of the room."

"Or, it's always better than dead."

"Well... if it really doesn't work, that's the only way to go."

Emilia nodded.

........................

So, what does Emilia think of Ram?

It should be hatred, after all, it was Ram who hurt the person she loved, and it was Ram who killed the person she loved, so she had no reason not to hate Ram.

It is precisely because she has always hidden her hatred for Ram, that's why her first reaction after rebirth is to kill Ram, and that's why she immediately thinks that Ram is the one when Subaru disappears. the culprit.

It seems that as long as there is something bad that has something to do with Subaru, in Emilia's mind, the first person to suspect and target is Ram alone.

Because she hated Ram.

However, is the relationship between the two of them, the way Emilia treats Ram, the emotions and opinions in her heart, really just a simple relationship of hatred and enemies?

No, because the simpler the relationship, the more directly and clearly it can be reflected in the attitudes of both parties. However, although Emilia wanted to kill Ram immediately after her rebirth, she still stopped the gun in her hand. action.After Subaru disappeared, he told Ram that he would never forgive him, but he still said the words of forgiveness in front of Ram's room.

In fact, it's not just hatred. For Emilia, her feelings towards Ram in her heart are complicated, and it's wrapped in a shell called 'hate', which makes it impossible for her to figure it out. Feelings.

Undoubtedly, she hated Ram, but in that hatred, there was also a feeling called jealousy that she didn't even want to admit.

That's right, Emilia...in fact, she has always been jealous of Ram.

Obviously being chased and killed by Ram constantly, obviously forced to a dead end by Ram, and obviously becoming someone he hates, but Subaru killed countless people, but only Ram was left behind.

Emilia knew it, because she was chasing Subaru, so she knew that the place where Subaru locked Ram was in a secret room in his bedroom. Put Ram, who has always wanted to kill himself, by his side.

For Subaru, Ram must be a special existence.

Obviously she wanted to escape with Subaru, and she could do anything for Subaru as long as Subaru nodded, but at the end, Subaru refused her, and in the end, in front of her eyes, she chose to die at the hands of Ram .

Emilia knew it, even if she didn't want to admit it, even if she ignored it on purpose, she still knew that it was not Ram who killed Subaru, but Subaru who chose to let Ram kill herself.

That's right, Subaru was seeking death, and the object of his seeking was Ram.

Ram, to Subaru, must be even more special and irreplaceable than her.

Emilia, who realized this, couldn't accept it, and Emilia, who realized this, was jealous of Ram.Everything that she had been longing for but could not ask for, everything that Subaru had been looking forward to, all... all of it was on Ram.

Obviously he could live with her, he could choose to start over, but he chose Ram, he chose death...

Unable to accept all of this, Emilia, who could not endure all of this, used hatred and love as a cloak, wrapped in an emotion called 'jealousy', killed Ram, and also killed herself.

Undoubtedly, she is also deeply aware that she... is actually a despicable, hopeless woman.

She was jealous that Ram was the most special woman to Subaru, she was jealous that Ram could be the one who killed Subaru with her own hands, and she was jealous that Ram took away everything that should belong to her.

She is really jealous...

So when she calmed down from her extreme emotions, when she saw Rem busy with her and Ram's affairs, and after she learned about the "future" bond between other people and Subaru...she chose" Forgive 'ram.

Did she really forgive Ram?Emilia didn't know.She really hoped that Ram would come out of self-loathing, she really hoped that Ram could come out of the room with the closed door, and she really hoped that there would be a relationship between the few of them. Relationships are back to normal.

But, that's just because she didn't want Subaru to have trouble doing it, to be sad because of it, and to think of her as the vicious woman who forced Ram to die.

And has the 'jealousy' in her heart really disappeared?

No, it hasn't disappeared at all.For Emilia, perhaps the so-called 'forgiveness' is just to let her and Ram return to their original appearance, and it just allows her to bury those feelings back to the deepest part of her heart.

Emilia knew that she... was not as beautiful as Subaru imagined, she... was just a hysterical woman who longed for 'love' but couldn't get it.

After bidding farewell to Crusch, and heading back to her current temporary residence in the capital, Emilia was deeply aware of her own loathsomeness.

It wasn't that she was hated by others, but the self-loathing that came about after she clarified her own darkness and her own selfish desires.

The more she loves something, the more she will continue to become ugly because of that thing, maybe... this is the price she has to pay for her love.

"Pleiades……"

Chapter 230 Can't Get Up Without a Knee Pillow

Emilia, who returned to her residence, immediately learned of Subaru's return from Rem, and also knew that Subaru had gone to Ram's side.

To be honest, Emilia is still a little jealous, but she also knows what is important and what is not.She also knew that the reason for not being able to see Subaru in the first place was her, because she went out to Crusch's side, so she couldn't see Subaru coming back in the first time, so she waited quietly. Subaru.

Time went from afternoon to night, and Emilia sat in the living room from afternoon to night.There was no impatience, no anger, she was just looking forward to meeting Subaru, and she was glad that Subaru was back here and could continue to stay with her.

So, when she saw Subaru coming to the living room, Emilia, who had been waiting for a long time, smiled happily for the first time.

"Subaru, welcome back."

"Ah, I'm back, Emilia."

Subaru, who came to the living room, was immediately greeted by Emilia, and Subaru said "I'm back" as if he had returned home.

Walking straight to Emilia, Subaru felt apologetic.

"I'm sorry, I've been missing for so long, I'm worrying you, Emilia."

"It's okay, Subaru, it must be something very important, I can understand it!"

Emilia shook her head, expressing that she didn't care.

To be honest, it was impossible not to care, but she also believed that Subaru had his own reasons for suddenly leaving without saying goodbye.And, compared to Subaru's return, everything else seemed less important to her.

"Speaking of which, what's going on with Ram?"

After some hesitation, Emilia asked Subaru about Ram's situation.

"Because of me, Ram became like that, sorry."

"There's no need to apologize."

Subaru thought about it, and he felt that it was not an option to delay the matter of Ram and Emilia.After all, even if there is nothing wrong with Ram, there is still a gap between the two of them.

It was just that the estrangement never broke out before, but with his sudden disappearance, the estrangement and hostility between the two that existed because of him completely broke out.

And now, after he talked with Ram, it is necessary for him to explain everything to Emilia, otherwise, this gap will not disappear after all, and maybe at some point, it will explode again maybe.

"There's nothing wrong with Ram, and I don't think there's anything wrong with you, whether it's Ram or Emilia, and you don't have anything to apologize for."

"Subaru, you think so..."

Emilia sighed, she knew that Subaru had blamed her for Ram's affairs, and like she thought, Subaru was not dissatisfied with Ram because of that 'future'.

"Subaru, you already know what happened to me and Ram, Rem should have told you all about it..."

"Even so, whether it's me or Ram, does Subaru think there's nothing wrong?"

Although Emilia guessed that Subaru would not blame anyone, she still asked Subaru.Even though the current Subaru is not the "Purge King" in her memory, Subaru is just Subaru and has never changed, so whether it is her matter, Ram's matter, or their thoughts, The things that have been done are also good.

Emilia wanted an answer from Subaru.

"Actually, it can't be said that I learned about it from Rem."

Scratching his head, Subaru apologetically mentioned that he overheard Emilia and Parker talking, and said that he was not asleep at that time, so he heard their conversation and learned about Emilia And his thing about the 'future'.

"I can understand Emilia, so I don't think there is anything wrong with Emilia."

"At the same time, I can understand Lahm, and I don't think Lahm is at fault."

"So, what about yourself, Subaru?"

Emilia interrupted Subaru, and asked, "Subaru, don't you care about your own affairs at all?"

"What Ram did to you, what I did to Ram... If you think we are both right, then that 'future', everything you ushered in, that ending..."

"In your opinion, are there no mistakes and acceptable things?"

Emilia couldn't understand why Subaru in that "future" would choose to die, and why Subaru could accept his own ending now. No matter how gentle Subaru was, how could he accept this calmly? everything?

"Because... no one is at fault."

Sighing softly, Subaru replied.

He knew what Emilia cared about, and that was all he could answer.

because--

"Whether it's Ram, or Emilia, you are all important people to me. And I believe that even I, who became the 'Purge King', must think so. "