[APH Luzhong] Ivan Diary

It was done.Natasha took the opportunity to help Sophia onto the bed, but Sophia was like a dull puppet, unconscious and indifferent, her beautiful face was covered with dirty tears, Natasha quickly wiped Sophia's face with her sleeve.

Ivan brought hot water, and Natasha washed Sofia's hands and face with hot water, helped her take off her dirty clothes and shoes, and helped her to lie down. During this time, Sofia kept her head down, looking dazed.

"Nata..." Ivan looked at Natasha in fear.He had never seen such a sister.

Natasha shook her head solemnly, signaling him not to ask any questions.Ivan could only hold back his doubts.

The two children fell asleep with the collapsed Sofia in their arms. Ivan felt that his sister was terrifying, like a dead person.So he held his sister's hand tightly, wishing her to warm up.

In the end what happened?

*

small theater

Gilbert's Diary①

April 4

Unbelievable, that coward Ivan Braginsky actually got into a fight!And he is quite powerful, but not as powerful as my uncle!

By the way, those two guys, Ivan and Wang Yao, are so weird, they hang out together all day long!

For the sake of that kid's ability to fight, I will reluctantly allow him to be my friend!

Sure enough, my uncle is the strongest! !

Extra episode [-]: Diary of a dream in a dream

I heard that sleeping on the same pillow will have the same dream? — Ivan Braginsky

xxxx year xx month xx day

Had a dream.About childhood, before meeting Ivan.

It's mom.By the way, when is her memorial day?Can not remember.I just remember that when she died of tuberculosis, Yakov cried a lot and beat me up by the way.

Ivan is so annoying, he keeps hugging me when he sleeps, it's so hot.

If only my mother was still alive.

*

My mother always hugged me silently.

At mealtimes, at bedtime, at walks—that's as much a gesture of protection as it is of fear.She has to protect her child in a dangerous world.

I remember her long hair, black and smelling, as did mine, and our identical dark eyes.Yakov hated the color of my skin. He wanted me to follow him in everything, like a decent European.

So he forbade my mother to speak Chinese to me, which meant that my mother became a mute in front of me.I only learned Russian in the end, and I only understood one sentence of what she said—"Wang Yao", my name, she named me, so I am her child.

"Wang Yao", "Yao", sparkling names.I know, she loves me.

Yakov knew this name, but he didn't care about it. He neither gave me a new name nor called me by this name. He always said "hey", "hey", "boy".He was also hesitant to raise me as a kind of existence.

Yakov is a stubborn man, and anything out of decorum annoys him.He always separated me from my mother with the excuse of "how can a man hang out with my mother all day long", and drove me out of the house to play outside.He took me to the market to do business, told me to learn his methods carefully, but warned me not to be a businessman, a businessman is a lowly profession and so on.He also told me that God's stories are just the self-comfort of the poor and meaningless.

He bought me a book and said, "How can his son know nothing?"He taught me to read, and if I mispronounced a letter, I would be punished by the board. Every time I learned a word, I would teach my mother so that we could communicate as soon as possible. Yakov did not stop me.

Yakov sometimes becomes peaceful.In the morning when the sun is out in winter, he allows his mother to go out to bask in the sun and take a walk. My mother is too weak and needs sunshine.There are few people in the suburbs in the winter morning. The white sun seems to blend with the white clouds. My mother led me to walk by the wooden fence and stroked the bare dead branches with her fingers. come to eat.

——I think my mother is also a sparrow, she was caught by Yakov and put into a cage.

When we walked together, Yakov would not approach us, but followed us far away, like a stranger, he could watch us quietly all afternoon.Sometimes I want to pull my mother and run away, escape from Yakov, take her to a place where there are no people and no pain, and then no one can hurt her.

Although I have thought of this countless times, I have never put it into action.If we don't stay by Yakov's side, neither my mother nor I can survive, and the freedom that cannot survive is meaningless.

Yakov really raised his mother like a sparrow. Delicious food, beautiful dresses, expensive jewelry, and everything a woman liked he gave to his mother. It was not like treating a bought slave at all.Of course, love and freedom were not among the things he gave.

However, my mother never took the initiative to wear the clothes Yakov bought for her. If Yakov did not order her, she would only wear a pale blue dress and tie her hair into a braid behind her head. No decorations.She tried to obliterate her beauty, to smear her face, or to bow her head so Yakov would not touch her.

But Yakov would hit her every time he drank, and he didn't know if he was angry with her for being disobedient, so he suddenly slapped her across the face.

My mother quickly protected me and locked me into the room, and then there was the sound of beating and scolding and the crying of a woman. I hid in the room not daring to make a sound, and had no sleep all night.Sometimes I couldn’t escape, so my mother would cover my ears and put my eyes on her chest. I hugged her tightly, unable to think, unable to breathe, the boundless night came to me, with silk Scarlet.

But in the dream, her embrace was as warm as ever.

But in memory, her embrace was gray and cold like a stone.

I still remember that it was snowing that day, and my mother coughed badly. I saw a little blood splashed on her handkerchief, and the air was filled with the smell of blood.Yakov told me to call for a doctor—thinking about it now, he told me to call for a doctor, probably so that I would not see my mother die.

My heart was pounding as I stomped through the crunching snow and across the wooden fence that my mother and I used to walk by, the snow soaking my clothes and hair.Thick snow blocks sometimes slipped from people's roofs and smashed into the yard, frightening chickens and ducks, and large gray clouds piled up in the sky.

I knocked vigorously on the door of the doctor's house: "Bang bang bang bang!"

The door was opened, and the bald, gold-rimmed doctor saw me—we knew each other because of my mother—and he went in without saying a word, took the medicine box, and followed me home.

Slow, too slow, we are running wildly in the heavy snow.Thinking of my mother's blood, I even pulled the old doctor's sleeve and kept urging him to speed up.I went out without socks and my feet were freezing.

I saw a crow sitting on a dead tree in front of my house, staring at us coldly and solemnly with golden eyes. Its coat was pure black, like the god of death in mythology.Although Yakov told me that the myths are all lies, I still can't help but think, it is the embodiment of death, right?

When the doctor entered the room, I picked up a stone and threw it at the crow.It didn't yell angrily, and flew away, and I entered the house with peace of mind.

But we still haven't caught up with Death.

I heard Yakov whispering to the doctor in the room, so I leaned over the crack of the door and peeked.From that angle, I couldn't see my mother lying on the bed. I only saw the old doctor shaking his head, and the two stopped talking.

Yakov slowly covered his face with his hands, his body trembling with anger.I heard crying, it was Yakov's crying, at first he just sobbed suppressedly, then he squatted down slowly and feebly, his crying became louder, and finally he started to howl like a child .

I thought curiously, so that person would cry too.Then I started to get scared, my spine was so scared that my eyes went dark, I lost my mind, I pushed open the door and rushed to my mother's bedside desperately!

A pale and cold hand protruded from the white quilt. I held it, breathed on it, and rubbed it, but it couldn't warm up.I trembled uncontrollably.

"Mom, mom, mom..." I called her frantically.

No one answered me, only crying, Yakov's, and mine, yes, and then, I probably fell into a coma.

It hurts and it's cold.It must be my mother expressing her pain through my body.

Endless despair.

*

Only me, Yakov, and the priest attended Mom's funeral.

I looked at my mother's grave, and couldn't believe that my mother was buried in such a small mound, the one who could walk, cook and sing—my mother.

I cried and threw away the lilies in my hand. I didn't want the funeral to end smoothly, and I didn't want my mother to die like this.But Yakov slapped me hard, and reprimanded me with red eyes: "Do you want your mother to die in peace?!"

The funeral has to be done eventually, just like the mother died after all.Except for us, no one knows that there was a Han woman who was taken captive here. The name of her captor was Yakov Ostrovsky, and she had a son named Wang Yao with him.Then, she died.

—she died.

Why do people die?If he could hold her all the time, wouldn't she not leave?

...Forget it, she is too tired, let her sleep for a while.

It's just that after she fell asleep, my bird's nest fell apart.Yakov's violence, criticism from outsiders, loneliness and fear, the storm almost drowned the bird that fell to the ground.

The sweet dreams my mother woven for me are gone.

At that time, I thought, whether I can still have a beautiful dream in this life-the future of the future, even if these things become secrets and are covered up, can my heart be relieved?How can I get out of that prison