[APH Luzhong] Ivan Diary

How many miles to walk and how many tons of garbage to pick up?

Just thinking about it makes my heart ache for him.

I want to help him.I really want to.

Rainy Monday, February 2

It is raining again.Today I learned a poem "The woodcutter's ax asked the tree for the handle, and the tree gave it to him", which is quite interesting.

I gave him the book Ivan wanted to read.He refused to accept it at first, but I told him it was a prepaid birthday present, as long as he gave it back on my birthday.My birthday is still far away, maybe he will forget it by then, it is best to forget.

I remember his birthday, December 12th, the end of one year and the beginning of another year.

There are still ten months, and I must pay a visit to his house at that time.

That person won't be at home, will he?

Sunny Tuesday, February 2

In the geometry class, we talked about quadrilaterals. Quadrilaterals are unstable. They can become square or edged, just like people.

I had a strange dream when I was taking a nap. I dreamed that I was sitting in a sunflower field, and Ivan hugged me from behind. When I stretched my hand back, he covered my eyes with a scarf.Speaking of which, Ivan always wears his scarf, which seems to have been knitted by his sister.

Playing hide and seek with Ivan after school, I hid in the teacher's locker, but Ivan couldn't find it.Ivan always acts like a ghost when playing hide-and-seek with Ivan, and I wonder if he does it on purpose.

It's incredible, I've always had a great time with Ivan and I'm looking forward to whatever I do with him.It's great to have Ivan as my friend and I hope Ivan thinks the same.

Ivan and I are together, are you happy?I am very happy...

It would be nice to just go on like this with Ivan.

Sunny Wednesday, February 2

The cat at the door was fattened up by me... always "meowing" into my arms, so cute, the pink meat ball is soft.

I seem to be growing taller recently, I am always very hungry, I should eat more meat.Made some bacon pancakes tonight and will bring some to Ivan tomorrow.He looks malnourished, and it will be troublesome if he doesn't grow taller in the future, but he is good at sports.

I am so worried about him, whether it is study or life.I hope he will live happily ever after.

However, I always feel that he hasn't shown a sincere smile in front of me recently... What's wrong with him?

Am I doing something wrong?

Sunny Thursday, February 2

Is Ivan really happy with me?I've been thinking about this a lot today.

He wasn't really smiling, I found out.

When chatting, he didn't concentrate on the topic, and kept smiling for a long time.He often opens his eyes, which is a sign that he is lying.

The acting is also pretty bad.

What did I do?

Sunny Friday, February 2

I have a decision.Probably no one can suspend this decision, including me.

Ivan is a kid who needs protection, but he's an orphan, he doesn't have parents to shelter him, to look after him, to stand up for him, and as arrogant as it is, I want to take half of that responsibility.I was born in October, two months older than Ivan. In this case, I will be his half brother. In the future, if someone bullies him, I will protect him and take care of him in study and life. I swear here, His consent was sought beforehand.

I really don't want to see that kid's tears again.When he was crying, for some reason, I also felt pain. Although it was not serious, I just couldn't let go.

I don't want to lose him, my only friend, my brother.I want to have fun with him again.

I hope he smiles more genuinely.

Of course, if this is just wishful thinking on my part, then it's up to him to undo my childish decisions in the future.At least for now, I want to be with that kid.

Sunny Saturday, February 3

In March, the blue cornflowers at the door will bloom.I was worried that the flowers would be eaten by the cat. The cat would eat almost anything. It was a glutton.

Today in art class, Ivan and I drew each other's portraits, feeling that he was watching me all the time, I was so embarrassed, I don't know if my hair is curled up... Ivan's paintings always give people a warm feeling, like It's like being exposed to the sun in winter, I like it very much.

I don't know what I look like in Ivan's eyes...

After yesterday's incident, Ivan became more honest and no longer anxious, and so did I.In fact, we all pay too much attention to each other, and instead lose ourselves?

I have no idea.I value him more than me, and I do so willingly.

Good night, Ivan.

February 3 cloudy Sunday

Today is Sunday, and Ivan has gone to church.Nothing to do, I sneaked in too.

Ivan was with his sister, and I didn't dare to disturb them rashly, so I hid in the crowd of worshipers and watched him.Residents in the small town started praying chirpingly, and so did Ivan. I don't know what he was pouring out to God...was he praying for happiness?Or the courage to pursue happiness?

I suddenly understood people's beliefs, because no one can save you in a painful life, you have to save yourself, so I prayed to myself, God, for the motivation to live.

It's too hard indeed, people.Going out early and returning home late to work, day after day, supporting my family, and facing the trivial matters of life... From this point of view, I seem to be out of touch with society.

How to describe this feeling?

People turn to God, but I, an atheist, stand in a crowd of believers facing a nameless orphan.Suddenly a little sad.

If God is the redeemer, then why is Ivan not my God?

Good night, Ivan.

Rainy Monday, February 3

Recently, I always feel that someone is staring at me. It can’t be Ivan, right?It seems that I am self-indulgent...

During the lunch break, Ivan made a strange request. He wanted to see how I looked without my hair tied up.I really don’t want to recall this anymore, I’m so embarrassed... I put my hair down, but somehow, he touched it, and I couldn’t say anything, so I just let him touch it, and sometimes he touched my neck, itching to death .

I feel very shy, as if nerves have grown in my hair, which makes my face burn.Fortunately, he was behind me and couldn't see my expression.

It's really strange to say, since before he likes to touch my head casually, and I'm not a small animal... I won't let him touch me randomly in the future.

Anyway, I'm still going to keep my hair long...

Good night, Ivan.

Rainy Tuesday March 3th

I heard that the geometry teacher is getting married.I wish him a happy family.

marry……

I asked Ivan what kind of person he wanted to marry in the future. He seemed to want to avoid this question. Did he have a specific partner?According to Ivan, he probably likes gentle girls.

As for me, I don't have any ideas...I haven't paid attention to girls or something.

Besides, it is impossible for me to marry a wife and have children in this small town. I don't know where that person will drive me to when I grow up.Maybe it's the capital, maybe it's a distant foreign country, and by then, I'll never see Ivan again, right?

By then, Ivan won't need me, will he?Feeling a little sad all of a sudden.

Why am I still pestering that child?Anyway, we are destined to be separated...

Now, I just look at him.Good night, Ivan.

Sunny Wednesday, February 3

Recently, the content of people scolding me has changed from my life experience to my personality, which is really ridiculous.

Someone should be watching me, who else but Ivan?It should be Ivan, right?I'm afraid I'm overthinking it, but during class I really felt the hairs on my back... I wish it was Ivan.

Because, I can't help but want to look at Ivan, not because there is something wrong, but I just want to look at him, it's very strange, and I don't know why.If I found out that he was looking at me too, I would be a little bit happier.As long as the person who sees me is Ivan, then the two of us are similar, so there is nothing to be shy about.

I always want to see Ivan well and long, but I always feel that I can't get enough of him.I am always afraid that he will be bullied like last time, so I have to keep watching him.

When I look at him, I feel very calm, as if I know him better, as if we are better friends.

But the more I think about it, the more shy I become, and I can't even carry on a normal conversation... It's really weird, I don't know what's going on.

The only thing I can be sure of now is that I like Ivan, I want to be good friends with him, and I want him to be happy every day.

Good night, Ivan.

Rainy Thursday March 3

I have a fever and feel sleepy.I don't keep a diary anymore.

I really want to see Ivan.

Sunny Friday, February 3

I slept all day yesterday and my fever subsided, but I had a cough.Ivan has been booing around me, feeling more nervous than me.He originally wanted to visit me, so he asked the teacher for my address, but it happened that something urgent happened at home, so he didn't come, and instead prayed all night.How silly, I'm not even a Christian, how could God care about me?

Hearing what he said, I feel that my cough is also healed.

I am very happy, even though he did not come, I am also very happy.Thanks to him, I recovered so quickly.

In a sense, I am indeed blessed by God.

So, I took a theology class with him, and I chanted the Bible sincerely.With such a good friend, I really want to thank the whole world.

Thank you for being my friend, Ivan.And, good night.

February 3 cloudy Saturday

It's cloudy today, and we can't see the sun.That cat became more and more clingy to me. Whenever it saw me, it would paw on my leg. I thought it was time to give it a "title", so I named it "Иван", and I will call it "Fan" from now on. sand".

Regarding the name, Ivan asked me the reason for my name "Wang Yao" today.good