[APH Luzhong] Ivan Diary

It seems that every time he calls me "Yao" in Chinese, it feels weird, and he wants to know if I have a Russian name.

I can only say that I don't know.I don't know if that person named me or not.

The name "Wang Yao" was given to me by my mother, and I followed her surname, and that person didn't care, and he never called me by this name.

I told Ivan that the name means "sparkling" and he said it suits me well...

His name is also, "Ivan" - "God cherishes", every time I say it, I feel the gentle voice entangled between the tongue and teeth, which is very suitable for his name.Whoever named him must have loved him very much.

I also hope that this name with blessing meaning can bless him and make him happy.

ivan.

Sunny Sunday March 3

It's Sunday again... I knew Ivan was at church, so I watched him out the window for a while.

He stood very close to the cross today, praying with his eyes closed, which is his habit, saying that it is "as if he can see God".Through the glass, his dreams and pursuits, passions and longings seemed to gradually become clear. I looked at him for a long time, as if I could see through him in this way, how silly.

When I looked at him like this, I felt that my heart was also getting closer to him.

What a fool, I went to communion with a hat on - a piece of leavened dough.

It's so stupid, don't do this in the future, don't follow him anymore.Is this possible (strike out)

It hurts.Why does it hurt when the child is involved now?I must have lost my mind.I can't spoil it all.

ivan.ivan.what to do?

Sunny Monday March 3

Today's class is really boring, I didn't attend the class, I kept passing notes and reading idle books with Ivan.

I let Ivan sleep on my lap during my lunch break.He lacked a sense of security, and his sleeping position was curled up, so I held his hand all the time to reassure him.The sun was too strong, and it made me a little hot.

Ivan fell asleep so defenselessly, like a baby, I kept looking at him and he didn't notice.But I still can't look at him, it's not good to make him feel uncomfortable.

That's fine too, Ivan will sleep on my lap and I'll take care of him, like a real brother.

It should be that I desire it.

Good night, Ivan.

Sunny Tuesday, February 3

Geometry is really hard to figure out... Ivan seems to have improved his geometry, so I want to ask him for advice.

We plan to go swimming and diving in the mountain lakes in the summer.Just when the weather was still a little cold, no one would disturb me at this time, and the two of us occupied this lake.

I thought about the long vacation. During the long vacation, I want to learn the accordion, I want to play the piano for Ivan, or we play together. It's very interesting to think about it.

I feel very bright today, because I thought of the possible future with that child?

I just wanted to spend as much time with Ivan as possible and create as many memories as possible so I wouldn't regret it later.I always felt like our relationship was on the rocks.

Don't think about that now, good night, Ivan.

Cloudy Wednesday, March 3

I had to think the worst: I like Ivan, and Ivan likes me.

This is too bad, right?Totally messed up.What have I done?

I really want to die.All ruined.

There was so much blood, and he was so badly wounded that I couldn't help him, or even thank him properly.

fear.This is wrong.

I like him.I like him.He likes me too?

extra episode

diary four

I also want to be friends with Yaojun, as long as we stay together forever. — Ivan Braginsky

cloudy on October 3

Yaojun came to my house as a guest today.

Maybe everything is not irreparable.

Just go back to how it was before.

It shouldn't be like this, it must have been a sudden failure of the brain at that time.

Yaojun is my friend.

*

Kissing is something that only two people who love each other can do - that's what Sister Sophia said.So, I like Yaojun?

But, does Yaojun like me too?

Why do I like Yaojun?Aren't boys supposed to like girls and get married and have kids?

Others don't seem to do this, do they?Is it because I have been fascinated by ghosts for a while?

I'm going to lose my good friend just by being so impulsive?Yaojun will definitely feel disgusted if this kind of thing happened suddenly... Can we no longer be friends?

How to do……

Ivan suddenly put the quilt over his face, briefly escaping from reality.For the past two days, Ivan has been lying on the bed thinking about these questions over and over again, and he didn't even go to school, because he didn't dare to face the child, afraid that the child really hated him, and he didn't know How to explain these embarrassing things.

The more Iwan thought about these things, the more headaches and fears he became, but the memory of kissing Wang Yao quietly flowed in his mind without hurting him.He had to face a fact: he liked Wang Yao, and it was not an accident that he kissed Wang Yao, it was planned by himself for a long time.

It had been premeditated for a long time, since he stared at Wang Yao for a long time, there was a desire in his heart that he didn't realize.

But he was still impulsive.

Ivan curled up in a ball under the quilt, feeling a faint stomachache.He rubbed the back of his hand against his lips, stretched out the tip of his tongue to slightly moisten his dry lips, his blood boiled, his face, his lips, and his body all burned like a high fever.Deep in his heart, he recalled the touch of Wang Yao's lips.

In a daze, Ivan thought of another question: Why did Yaojun kiss my eyes?

——It should be that we all bewitched each other.

*

This day is a day of no change for the poor orphan Sophia. From dawn to dawn, cook, wash clothes, go to work, until noon, take a short nap, no lunch, continue to work all afternoon, for her The damned boss made shoes, then dragged himself exhausted home to cook and mend clothes for two children, and then stayed up late at night to do some handicrafts and sell them to others for a kopeck or two.

This kind of life is too heavy for a young girl, but as an orphan, Sophia knew that no one would help her share the pain since she was a child. Complaints are just a blank sheet of paper, and she can only survive with her own life. .

What's more, her younger brother Ivan was injured recently, and the medical bills are still owed, and the perpetrator is a lunatic, who can she ask for justice?The younger sister Natasha is also getting older and is about to go to school. The two children are growing and need to supplement nutrition. Working like an animal.

But when she returned home one day, Sophia found that there was an extra person in the family.

"Hi, sorry to bother you. I'm Ivan's classmate, I'm here to visit him..."

The kid who claimed to be Ivan's classmate stood in front of Sofia and introduced himself: "My name is Wang Yao, and I'm a child of Yakov Ostrovsky's family."

Sophia frowned slightly: Ostrovsky's half-breed.

Although she didn't intend to inquire, Sophia still heard about the notoriety of the father and son from others.

The doubts only flashed for a moment, and they were quickly dispelled. After all, Wang Yao was the first friend Ivan visited, and his happiness surpassed everything else.

Sophia felt that her tired body seemed to be a little more relaxed, and she quickly entered the room and closed the door: "Hello, I am Vanya's sister Sophia. Thank you for coming to visit Vanya, he will be very happy." She looked at it carefully. Looking at Wang Yao, he felt that the other party should be a polite and good boy.

Wang Yao nodded with a blushing face, and said seriously: "We are all friends, we should."

Sophia showed a relieved smile: "Vanya really found a very good friend. Please get along with Vanya in the future, okay?"

Wang Yao nodded firmly.

*

Wang Yao decided to visit Ivan's house this afternoon. Ivan had already asked for two days off, so Wang Yao was really worried.

And about what happened that day, Wang Yao also needs to talk to Ivan.He didn't expect to talk about anything, but Wang Yao felt that he had to meet Ivan, and he wanted to see Ivan very much, otherwise they might really be over.

Ivan's house was on the right side of the first fork they met on their way home from school, and Wang Yao's was just on the left.Wang Yao wore a hat to cover his hair color, and shuttled in front of bars and handicraft shops. Under those eaves, there were drunks, prostitutes, workers and old mothers who guarded the house. The windows stared at Wang Yao like deep eyes.

The owner of the leather workshop rents the bad house under his name to the poor at a low price, and then uses the pretext of repairing the house to continuously extort repair fees from the poor. Ivan's family is the third of these poor people.The room they rented was the cheapest. It was right next to the stairs on the top floor of the small building. Ivy hung down from the roof, covering this small room with three people crowded. Words linger around.

Wang Yao climbed up the steep, moldy stairs, and at a glance, the corridors were full of sundries and rubbish from every household, making it impossible to get off.Without hesitation, he knocked on the door beside him.

There was the sound of procrastinating footsteps inside the door, and then the door was opened a small crack, revealing a vigilant little face: "Who are you looking for?"

"...Ivan Braginsky." Wang Yao paused, then added nervously, "I'm his classmate, I'm here to visit him."

The eyes in the door looked at Wang Yao suspiciously before the door was opened, and a little girl with a rag on her head came out from behind the door