Orange Savior

, holding a bag of oranges in his hand, and there were four left, he said: "I said I won't ask you again, so you don't have to say, I'm really not angry."

Chen Feng sighed, "Then what should I do? I really want to say it again."

"So something really happened?" Gu Chen asked back.

"Have."

"Since we've eaten oranges tonight, shall we go drink?" Gu Chen's eyes lit up, he was even more excited than discovering the new world.

I found a late-night snack stall and ordered a table of appetizers. Of course, Gu Chen's wine was indispensable. Gu Chen learned to drink in junior high school, and Chen Feng took care of him when he got drunk. But Chen Feng didn't drink alcohol before, but in the past I also secretly drank wine for a year, and tasted the taste and feeling described by Gu Chen. The first time I drank alcohol, I only drank a little, and when I was drunk, I just drowsy. Rolling over is like a washing machine, but I will still drink it next time. When I first became obsessed with alcohol, I realized that drinking can also be addictive, especially when life is not sober, alcohol is a good thing.

"Okay, you can start talking." Gu Chen skillfully poured wine into his glass.

Chen Feng knocked on the table, signaling that he also wanted a glass of wine.

"That's right, I forgot that you started drinking too." Gu Chen immediately filled his glass.

"In the past year, in summary, I suffered from depression, then I dropped out of school, and I haven't relapsed for the time being." It turns out that dozens of words can be accurately expressed.

Just as Gu Chen took back his hand pouring the wine, the foam on the wine glass was still overflowing or bursting little by little, exuding a strong aroma of wine, which mixed with the open air to form the memory of this summer, Gu Chen thought, depression?What's this?Is it the depression I thought it was?What should I say at this time?

In the silent atmosphere, Gu Chen had no choice but to take a big gulp of wine to show that his brain was a little hit, and Chen Feng also gulped down half a glass, drinking more vigorously than Gu Chen.

"Just said it's not a big deal." Chen Feng added.

"Well, it's fine now, it's fine, let's have a drink, shall we?" Gu Chen's tone suddenly softened.

The wine glass was raised, and there was a crisp touch, with bright yellow liquid swaying, the water vapor on the wine glass wet the palms of the hands, the two of them drank a glass in a muffled voice, and Chen Feng said, "It's only when I see you again that I feel that I can reach this day , life turned out to be hopeful."

"Don't take me too seriously. Although I can comfort you at this time, I'm not sure I can comfort you for the rest of my life."

"I know." Chen Feng.

"But today I still want to be your savior." Gu Chen said hesitantly.

Chen Feng asked with a smile: "Okay, how do you want to save?"

"In the future, if anything happens to you, you must ask me for help immediately!"

"You don't understand depression, and I don't want to force you to come into my side. You just need to be with me like before. Depression, maybe you don't mention it, and it will never recur." After the commentary, Chen Feng wanted to laugh.

"Are you really all right?"

Chen Feng thought for a while, "There shouldn't be such a thing as a complete recovery, so I have to not relapse."

"Is it true that if you live happily every day, you won't relapse again?" Gu Chen asked.

"Well, maybe." Gu Chen's mind was still extremely simple in thinking about these fields that he had never touched.

Gu Chen reached out and snatched away Chen Feng's wine glass, and said angrily, "You can't drink alcohol, it's bad for your health, you don't know that?"

"It's okay to drink, I don't use alcohol to relieve my worries."

"Oh, is that so?" Gu Chen timidly put the wine glass back to its original place, and made Chen Feng laugh.

Chen Feng gulped down another half of his glass, "Don't be nervous."

"Why do you suffer from depression? Why do you have to bear these things at a young age? Why can't we get everything we want?" Gu Chen asked.

"Where is it? Aren't we together as we wished?" Chen Feng suddenly said softly.

Gu Chen said: "But at the same time we are also bearing the accidents brought about by our relationship, do you think others will agree?"

"Why do you need other people's consent? Things in this world cannot be established with the consent of others. We can also have our own rules of survival. In our world, we are right."

Gu Chen rested his cheeks and asked, "If we find out that we were wrong in a few years, will you regret it?"

"No, if I am sure that I am right at this moment, I will definitely not regret it in the future." Chen Feng's tone was firm, and he slammed into Gu Chen's ears every word, and the following sentence: "I Prepare for all the bad things, so now I just want to be good with you."

"No, let's make mistakes."

"No, if one day I can't listen to everyone's comfort, even you can't comfort me, you'd better give up on me, this kind of life is meaningless." After a few drinks, Chen Feng felt like he started talking nonsense.

Gu Chen was sullen, and slammed the cup heavily on the table, saying repeatedly: "Fart, what the hell are you talking about?"

Chen Feng had already started to feel dizzy, his consciousness seemed to have drifted into outer space, his eyes were red, and he looked at Gu Chen dully.A year ago after graduating from the third year of junior high school, Chen Feng was taken to Beijing by Li Yan before he had time to say hello to Gu Chen. Li Yan and his stepfather Yang Yuan immediately held a wedding and successfully established a new family. In fact, it was not happy at all. , Li Yan and him actually met and fell in love in college, but they broke up because of working in different places, and they reunited after several years. Chen Sheng liked Li Yan very much, but Li Yan got married only when she reached the marriageable age and was constantly urged by her family. Back then, she also thought that she would never meet Yang Yuan again in this life, so she died Xin married Chen Sheng, and God gave them a pair of twins who envied others, but it was useless. In the end, no one could stop her from a divorce agreement. She broke up like a cicada that had been buried for decades. An obsession that can break through the ground, she can't love one more person in this life, more love is superfluous.

It may be the obsession accumulated in those three years, it may be the unavoidable restlessness in the blood, or it may be out of grievances to his father. Shortly after witnessing Li Yan and Yang Yuan's wedding in the summer vacation of the third year of junior high school, Chen Feng's depression The symptoms became more and more serious, and my grandmother noticed it very quickly. The reason why my grandmother was able to notice it so quickly was that Chen Feng found out later that my grandfather had depression, and he was tortured so badly by depression in his middle age that he passed away prematurely. After that, my grandmother returned to live in Beijing.Chen Feng's grandmother was originally from Beijing, and she married to Guangzhou when she was young. After her grandfather passed away, Li Yan also started a family. In her later years, only her elder brother was left as a relative in Beijing. I live in an old house, because my grandma can't bear to abandon the old house with her childhood memories.

Chen Feng was later diagnosed with moderate depression, Li Yan helped him to suspend school directly, and had no chance to return to Miancheng.Depression has been erratic for half a year. In fact, Chen Feng didn't know that he had depression. He didn't feel it. He was just depressed, insomnia, and unable to arouse interest in life. He often sat on a small piece of grass in the yard all day long. During that time, he only talked to his grandmother, and he only heard about his depression on the phone from his grandmother. Li Yan called Chen Feng, but Chen Feng didn't want to hear it anymore.

There is an orange cat named "Douyou" in grandma's yard. Grass, occasionally help with watering.But sometimes I like to go to bed after taking the medicine, and I can sleep for a long time, but when I wake up from insomnia, it feels like my soul has been hollowed out all night. I have to find something to do. Sometimes I go to the refrigerator to eat food without stopping. I can feel satisfied with a little bit of fullness. I can choose a drama to watch. I can’t watch tragedies or deliberately watch comedies. I can only find regular ones. I watched the feature film all night without any color, and when I was awake, I spit out the stuff stuffed into my stomach, and I kept thinking in my mind, I miss them so much, I really want to see Gu Chen.

Gu Chen, you said you would be my savior, but in fact you have already saved me once.

"Hey hey hey! Why are you so weak! Are you drunk after just a few drinks?" Gu Chen patted Chen Feng's head lying on the table.

Chen Feng raised his head, with sleepy eyes, "I'm not drunk, but sleepy."

"Okay, let's go back! I'm afraid if you drink any more, we're going to sleep on the streets tonight!"

"Come to my house tonight!"

Gu Chen pretended to be disgusted when he heard this, "I'll think about it."

"Gu Chen, I need you."

"It's hard for me."

"Gu Chen, I, am, abnormal, man?" He seemed to be unable to speak, or his embarrassment made him hesitate to speak.

Gu Chen wanted to get angry, and said: "Are you crazy?" In the end, he softened and said: "Don't think so much, let's go home!"

It was nearly ten o'clock, and there were sporadic lights on the street as the background. Chen Feng folded his arms, and Gu Chen put his hands in his trouser pockets, and walked leisurely back to the apartment. Although the two were not drunk, their faces were flushed, and their body temperature soared , The air between walking is full of alcohol.

"Then, what happened to you and Xu Huan?" Chen Feng asked.

"I didn't break up until I graduated from the high school entrance examination. When we broke up, she regretted it again, saying that she only liked me from the beginning to the end, but I knew that I didn't like her anymore. It was wrong to procrastinate. I knew that she could like me, and she could also like me." Will like others, why must it be me."

"Well, well done."

"It's all because of you, you disappeared after graduation!" Gu Chen was still very angry when he brought up the matter of Chen Feng's disappearance again.

Chen Feng said: