Star of tomorrow

Ji Xing has been well protected since he was a child, and the greatest pressure is Ji's father's strict requirements on him and the idea that he can join the company after graduation and contribute to the Ji family.

This kind of thing is very common in any big family. The outside world's vision, evaluation, strict and high expectations from the family, their path is doomed early on, there is no freedom to speak of, and they can go crazy when they are young. After graduating and starting to work, many things cannot be decided by them.

But compared to the loss of freedom, what is exchanged is the top that ordinary people will never be able to climb for a lifetime - power, money, respect from others, rich network resources, and as long as there are no accidents, it is good to be able to go smoothly for a lifetime without any worries. day.

And freedom is always relative, and Ji Xing has understood this truth after staying in the Golden Triangle these days.

But even if he had a big disagreement with his father, had disputes and resistance, in front of Qi Chen, it was all petty trouble.Ji Xing grew up under the love of his family. There is no doubt that although Ji's father is strict, even under the banner of "for his own good", he still cares about him and loves him, let alone Ji's mother and his eldest sister. , Second brother, never willing to let him suffer a little grievance.

So it was hard for Ji Xing to imagine that Qi Chen's youth would be so dark.

"My hometown is in a remote village near the mountain. My mother was bought—not abducted. There are too many men in the village, and there are no married women. When my father reached the age of marriage, the family carried two baskets on a pole. It’s very common to spend money over mountains to buy a daughter-in-law in the next village.”

It sounds like a bride price, but in fact, the man and woman don't know each other, have never seen each other, there is no matchmaker, they just pick up money to find a marriageable family, and the woman's family accepts the price, and they will marry if they can.On the same day, people can be carried home to wait for the wedding.

Ji Xing was dumbfounded: This is almost like going out to buy vegetables.

"The relationship between my father and my mother is not very good. They often fight. My mother is more irritable than my father. Sometimes my father can't beat her, so he will take it out on me and my younger brother." Qi Chen said, "My younger brother is hotter than me." He is two years younger, looks like a weak chicken, has little flesh on his arms, and has no one to take care of him all day long, and sits on the ground in spring, summer, autumn and winter..."

Seeing Ji Xing's incomprehensible look, Qi Chen took the initiative to explain: "The family is poor, there is no furniture, there is only one bed in the room, and the whole family sleeps together. The clothes my brother wore since he was a child belonged to me and my father. "

The place where Qi Chen was located was relatively remote, and it would take almost a day to go to the town.

There is nothing to do in the village, not even a TV that can be watched, the houses are dilapidated, and the rain leaks all the year round-in fact, if the elders in the family are more diligent, they will not live like this. You can get a lot of money back.

But Qi Chen's family is different. Qi's father is a famous slacker, who can lie down instead of sitting, and sit up instead of standing up.

The whole family lives on subsistence allowances and a small piece of corn field at the door, but the corn is not sold. It is born and raised every year. The corn is eaten when there is corn, and the corn that cannot be eaten is not harvested. It is so rotten. in the ground.

"My little brother didn't learn anything else. I learned ten percent from my father's laziness. I didn't like to do anything since I was a child." Qi Chen didn't dare to look Ji Xing in the eyes when he talked about these things. There is always a sense of inferiority and shame.

Ji Xing touched Qi Chen's hand, and the two looked at each other. Ji Xing kissed the corner of Qi Chen's mouth, giving him silent encouragement.

Qi Chen was a little moved, and rubbed Ji Xing's face—like a beast lowering his head and acting like a baby, it unexpectedly made people feel weak.

"When I was in junior high school, I realized that I was different from others." Qi Chen continued, "There are more boys than girls in the village. I found that I was not interested in girls, but paid more attention to boys. I fell in love with a…”

Qi Chen was a little nervous, and licked his lips, as if he didn't know what to say about it.

This incident affected the rest of his life, completely changed his destiny, and became a knot in his heart that he couldn't get rid of.Occasionally, he would have nightmares, and the dreams would be filled with scenes from the past, and that shameful, embarrassing, and ugly memory of being scolded as disgusting and ugly became a lingering nightmare.Even after he grew up and understood a lot, he still couldn't let go.

The psychological shadow produced in the youth, in addition to looking away and controlling

, hide or learn to shake hands and make peace with yourself, and try to get out, there is almost no way to heal.Being able to come out is nothing more than letting go of the past, but the wound still exists and will not disappear.

It will become a scar covered with thick dust, which cannot be touched easily, but once touched, there will still be a dull pain attached to the flesh.

Some things can't get over it and never get over it.

Just for a while, cold sweat broke out on Qi Chen's forehead, he was silent for a long time before he said hoarsely: "I fell in love with a... lunatic."

Ji Xing's heart skipped a beat, his head buzzed, and he froze unexpectedly.

Qi Chen's face turned pale, he closed his eyes and said, "He was in his twenties... in his twenties, and he was very good-looking. His family didn't care about him, and they didn't take him to see a doctor. He was sometimes normal and sometimes crazy. It's genetic."

A little boy who just found out that he likes the same sex and has an impulse, met a crazy young man who got lost and sneaked to the door because of his madness.

The young man was very good-looking, and little Qi Chen at that time had never seen anyone more beautiful than him.

He was thin and delicate, and his cloudy eyes produced a strange and strange beauty.

He was stealing something to eat in the corn field of Qi Chen's house, and was discovered by his younger brother. The young man ran away in a panic, and Qi Chen chased him.The man couldn't run fast, he felt uncoordinated with his hands and feet, and was soon thrown to the ground by Qi Chen.

Qi Chen pressed on the young man, and the other party was dazed, so frightened that he cried and kept apologizing in a low voice.

His humming sound seemed to be covered with feathers, tickling Qi Chen's heart. Qi Chen knew it was impossible, but his body's reaction was completely uncontrollable. This was the first time he had a reaction to a person of the same sex.

Qi Chen was so frightened that he even rolled and rolled over from the young man. The two of them stared at each other, still in shock.

Fortunately, the young man returned to normal at this time, he didn't blame Qi Chen, because it was rare for him to be sober, he taught Qi Chen some common sense of physiology.It turned out that he was a teacher before he got sick, but when he got sick, he had to be taken back to his hometown, which ruined his future.

He doesn't wake up much in a day. Normally, he is very gentle, patient, and comfortable like a breeze. But when he goes crazy, he laughs horribly and looks hideous, like a devil living in his body.

Qi Chen couldn't tell why, maybe out of curiosity, maybe out of sympathy, maybe out of a momentary impulse, he consciously began to associate with the young man.

When the young man is sober, he will tell him a lot of what he has seen outside, telling him to go out, see more, don't stay in the small village, and don't ruin himself.

And when the young man was insane, Qi Chen would accompany him to run all over the mountain, and fell all over the mud. When the young man was crying and screaming, he would hide and watch secretly.

He said to the young man: "When I grow up and have money, I will take you to see a doctor. Your family doesn't care about you, I will care."

That was probably the first time in this life that the little boy made a promise on his own initiative, with a boyish, shy and uneasy sincerity.

The young man pinched Qi Chen's face, noncommittal.

"I've been with him...for a few months, and my family didn't know about it." Qi Chen said, "Then one time, I...I couldn't help it, and kissed him when he was going crazy."

When Qi Chen said this, his voice was so low that it was almost inaudible. It was hard to imagine a big man who was nearly 1.9 meters tall, his face was full of shame, embarrassment, embarrassment, and unspeakable sadness.

It was very difficult for him to speak, Ji Xing looked at him blankly, not knowing what to say.

All this was beyond his imagination.

"I can't tell what my mood was at the time, but I couldn't hold back." Qi Chen looked down at the floor, his palms covered with cold sweat, "I have a crush on him, I like him, but I shouldn't...I know I It's not right to take advantage of others, and it's a bit..."

Qi Chen moved his throat, but he couldn't say the word "abnormal".

This is what his family, his younger brother, and his neighbors scolded him later.

"Pervert! Not even a patient is spared, disgusting!" These abuses filled his mind for a long time, lingering.It made him unable to even lift his head, and his back was bent.

Ji Xing remembered the moment when Qi Chen found out that he was investigating his privacy.

Out of control anger, there is a kind of self-abandonment in that anger, with a huge malice that comes from nowhere, and a sense of madness that violates harmony.His reckless appearance of wanting to drag people into the abyss and destroy them is completely different from the gentle, considerate, calm and indifferent he showed before.

It's like being suddenly divided into another person.

At that time, Ji Xing thought it was strange that Qi Chen was full of contradictions and hid a huge secret. Now he knows that this secret was accompanied by the other party's adolescent turmoil, uncontrollable emotions and self-blame, and flooded Qi Chen like a swamp. Chen.suffocating.

There may have been some kind of madness that destroyed everything in his heart, and it may be one of the important reasons why he chose boxing later.

"What happened later?" Ji Xing hugged Qi Chen, patted his head and comforted him, "If you don't want to talk about it, don't talk about it. I swear, I haven't checked your family."

What Qi Chen was most angry that day was not actually investigating the fact that he was framed. He was so afraid that someone would find out his hometown. This was the secret he really wanted to hide.

"I kissed him that time, but my younger brother saw it." Qi Chen said, "He told his family, and everyone soon found out. They called me a pervert and took advantage of a patient. He was caught by him My family took me away and locked me up, and I... was beaten up by my father and kicked out of the house."

They couldn't bear to have a son who was crazier than a lunatic, and couldn't bear to have such a pervert under the same roof as them.

The village party secretary learned about this and temporarily took him home, but the situation became worse and worse. People in the village yelled at him to drive him away. He went to school and was bullied by his classmates.

At that time, he hadn't grown so tall, and the family was poor and hungry, and he seemed to be blown away when the wind blew. He returned to the village party secretary's house with injuries for several days.But being bullied and despised was just a small warning before the snow mountain of fate collapsed. A few days later, he heard the news that the young man committed suicide at home.

The boxing gym fell silent, the surroundings were extremely quiet, and Ji Xing almost held his breath.

Neither of the two spoke for a while, as if both of them lost their minds inappropriately.

After an unknown amount of time, Qi Chen said in a hoarse voice, "I killed him."