guarding you for seven years

You are a deep sea fish, no tears, no sadness, only indifference. ---summer green

NO.11 in the fourth year

Xia Lu sat in front of the window, the people downstairs had already left, she looked at the light green gift box, she didn't know what was inside, she just knew that she didn't want to open it, and didn't have the courage to open it.

Time passed in Xia Lu's silence, Xia Lu finally opened the gift box, and a picture album was revealed in front of her eyes. On the cover of the picture book were two Jingdong cats, the same as the ones on the school uniform.

Xia Lu slowly opened the album, the first page caught my eye was a snow scene, the pen lines were drawn meticulously, the colors were clearly layered, the large expanse of white exaggerated the coldness of winter, and there were straight birches with withered leaves tree, or it may be other trees, but Xia Lu thinks it is a birch tree, and it can be seen that the painter has a deep foundation.There are two people painted under the tree, just their backs, one tall and one short, the meaning is self-evident.

On the second page, the peach blossoms are in full bloom. A beautiful woman is standing among the peach blossoms, holding the peach blossoms in her hands, with a slight smile on her lips.The pink peach petals are dancing, giving the whole picture a sense of dynamism, and the woman in the painting is Xia Lu, the outline of the character is outlined with exquisite brushwork, Xia Lu thinks of Liu Yao's warm hands like jade, in the Lightly sketched on the drawing board, the heart moved, and the eye sockets began to heat up.

On the third page, next to the lotus pond, the lotus leaves are in the sky, the lotus is beautiful, the weeping willows are swaying by the pond, the dragonfly stands on the lotus leaves, and a young man leans on the willow tree, holding his forehead with one hand, blocking his face, and the black hair drowning the forehead Fingers, a faint leisurely follow the painting.Xia Lu raised her hand to caress the boy in the painting. Tears dripped down, blurring the paint on the painting. Xia Lu hurriedly wiped it off, but the drawing paper was already soaked, and a drop of tear appeared on the paper. In that beautiful painting.

On the fourth page, the golden wheat field meets the white clouds in the sky. There is a blank space in the middle of the large golden wheat field. There is nothing to draw, only a line of faint characters. Xia Lu recognizes that it is Liu Yao's characters. It says, "Wait On the day you are willing to let me fill the painting, remember to bring it to me."

Autumn is the season of harvest, and there is only a blank space in the middle of this painting. Xia Lu should understand Liu Yao's intentions even if she is in a daze. How about the general cold?

On the fifth page, there is only a faint handwriting, "Luohuaren is independent, sitting beside the lotus willow. The snow is like the sky, knowing the autumn and looking forward to the Qingmang."

Xia Lu looked at these four lines of poem quietly, tears streaming down like rain.

Some feelings can't be responded to, can't refuse, hurt the king's heart, and hurt Qing's body.Probably this is Xia Lu's mood at the moment.

The atmosphere of the new year is still around, Xiao Zi is standing downstairs in Xia Lu's house, hesitating whether to go up, today is Xia Lu's birthday, and calling Xia Lu after midnight, Xia Lu neither received nor returned her call, this Xiao Zi was a little disappointed, and at the same time guessed why Xia Lu didn't answer the phone, and why she didn't return her call.

The cold wind from downstairs was blowing, Xiao Zi was holding a small cake in one hand, and clutching the present in the other tightly. This was a gift prepared by her Xia Lu. After being apart for a few months, she didn't know what Xia Lu lacked, but she wanted to She wanted to buy a gift that Xia Lu could carry with her at any time. After choosing for a long time, she finally bought the gift in the box in her hand.

The self in the past was so confident that he never doubted Xia Lu's friendship with him. The feeling of a good friend surpassed many normal friendships. Xiao Zi also thought that he knew Xia Lu because Xia Lu was originally A simple person, Xia Lu doesn't have too much thought, and she doesn't have any heart. In her eyes, Xia Lu is a person as simple as water.But it's only been a few months since we separated, why have so many things changed, too fast.

Xia Lu was going to visit her uncle's house this morning, but she stayed at home because she had a fever. Xia Lu was lying on the bed, a little bored. Now that she grew up, she felt that Chinese New Year was getting more and more boring.The doorbell rang, and Xia Lu got up lazily, wondering who is coming to pay New Year's greetings?

Opening the door, Xiao Zi stood there, "Xia Lu, Happy New Year." Xiao Zi raised a cheerful voice. After standing outside the door for a long time, she finally adjusted herself before daring to ring the doorbell.

Xia Lu was a little confused, her head was still hurting, and her body was still hot. Looking at Xiao Zi in front of her, she felt a little unreal, "Xiao Zi?" Xia Lu rubbed her eyes, and when she opened them again, she looked at the person in front of her. Xiao Zi was right.

"Xiao Zi, come in quickly." Xia Lu hurriedly gave way to the house, Xiao Zi looked at the somewhat confused Xia Lu with a smile all over her face.

"I was thinking just now, are you at home, will you go out to celebrate the New Year?" Xiao Zi changed his shoes and walked into the living room, and put the cake in his hand on the table, "What's wrong with you? You are so weak and listless "Xiao Zi looked at Xia Lu's flushed face, and stretched out his hand to touch Xia Lu's forehead, and it turned out that he had a fever.

"It's okay. I have a slight cold. I was going to my uncle's house. I didn't go because I still had a fever in the morning. Fortunately, I didn't go, otherwise you would have made the trip in vain." Xia Lu glanced at the cake on the table. Rippled with small fine waves, Xiao Zi came to celebrate her birthday, so happy.

"It's Chinese New Year, and you're sick again. You were fine a few days ago." Xiao Zi blamed softly, Xia Lu smiled slightly, took the coat Xiao Zi took off and hung it on the hanger. The scent of the cake, warm and sweet, Xia Lu thought, is this the taste of the cake?

"Today is your birthday, so I won't talk about you." Xiao Zi looked helplessly at the slightly sick person in front of her, then turned and walked to the table, opened the cake box she brought, and the small cake of tiramisu spread out. Smelling the tempting aroma, Xia Lu sat at the table, looked at the exquisite cake, and felt that her appetite was particularly good, but she couldn't eat anything in the morning, but now she saw this cake and felt extremely hungry.

"Although it is daytime now, we still need to light a candle to celebrate the happy birthday of our beautiful and kind Xia Lu." Xiao Zi inserted the digital candle on the cake, and Xia Lu hurried to the kitchen to get a lighter and light the candle, "Okay, first Make a wish." Xiao Zi looked at the burning number candle, 18.

Xia Lu thought for a while, what wish did she have?I want Xiao Zi to be happy, I want Liu Yao to be happy, I want myself to be happy.

Xia Lu blew out the candle, Xiao Zi looked at Xia Lu and wanted to ask her what wish she had made, but he opened his mouth and didn't ask anything. "Xiao Zi, thank you for celebrating my birthday with me." Xia Lu is really grateful to Xiao Zi. She thought she would be alone today and wait for her parents to come back to celebrate her birthday. She didn't expect Xiao Zi to come first. , On this special day, it is very happy to have Xiao Zi by my side.

Xiao Zi put a lavender box in front of Xia Lu, "This is a birthday present for you, I always choose a green box, this time I choose purple." Xia Lu looked at the lavender box in front of her, The purple light was reflected in Xia Lu's pupils, "Open it and have a look." Xiao Zi signaled Xia Lu to open it.

Xia Lu picked up the box, opened it slowly, a watch lay quietly inside, Xia Lu raised her eyes and looked at Xiao Zi, Xiao Zi took out the watch with a smile, took Xia Lu's hand, and put the watch on Xia Lu gently. Lu's wrist, Xia Lu saw Xiao Zi approaching her face, her heart skipped a beat, her fingers trembled slightly, and she stretched out her hand to embrace Xiao Zi into her arms.The faint scent of camellia lingered on the tip of Xia Lu's nose again, and Xia Lu put her head on Xiao Zi's shoulder, "Xiao Zi, we will be good friends forever." Xia Lu's voice was very soft, but Xiao Zi was caught by the soft voice His nose was sore, "Yes, we have been good friends all our lives, and you still want to be my child's godmother." Xiao Zi adjusted her breathing so that Xia Lu would not notice her slightly choked voice.

When Xia Lu heard the word "godmother", the smile on her face was a little stiff.That's right, I can only stand in the position of a good friend for the rest of my life, and I can't surpass it. "Okay." Xia Lu responded lightly.

Xiao Zi didn’t stay with Xia Lu for a long time. After eating the cake, Xiao Zi’s mother called and told her to come home. Before Xiao Zi left, she told Xia Lu not to run around. It was too cold outside, and she didn’t want Xia Lu to catch a cold. Seriously, Xia Lu responded one by one, and Xiao Zi left with peace of mind.

"Xia Lu, as you said, we are good friends and have always been." Xiao Zi stood downstairs, turned around and looked at the window of Xia Lu's room, and murmured.

After Xiao Zi left, Xia Lu began to be in a trance, her mind was very confused, she finally understood why she dared not speak out her feelings for Xiao Zi, and why Liu Yao never gave up on herself.Because she is a girl and Xiao Zi is also a girl, they are not recognized by society and the law when they are together.

Both my parents and Xiao Zi's parents are relatively traditional, how could it be possible to accept such things as homosexuality?This is the first time Xia Lu realizes that the relationship between her and Xiao Zi is not just about Xiao Zi not loving her.If she is a boy, it doesn't matter if she is rejected, but if she is a girl, even Xiao Zi likes her, so does she really dare to take this step and declare to the world that she loves a girl?

Xia Lu scratched her hair in distress, remembering Liu Yao's expression of "No" when she knew she liked Xiao Zi before, she seemed not able to understand why Liu Yao was so desperate at that time, now it seems that she is the one who is desperate .

"Xia Lu, just quietly guard Xiao Zi like this, a lifelong good friend, appearing by her side when she needs it, that's enough, you can do it." Xia Lu said to herself silently in her heart .

But thinking of the picture album that Liu Yao sent in the bedroom, he was so distressed that he couldn't breathe.

The pain in my heart was like entwining trees and vines, intertwining my thoughts and cutting my heart.Xia Lu thought of a book she had read, saying that there is a kind of fish in the deep sea, which does not shed tears or sadness, but only the loneliness and indifference that accompany it for a lifetime.

Do I have to become this kind of fish to be free?

Remember to collect it, the great grace and virtue are unforgettable.