many worries

After he finished speaking, the room was silent, almost dead.

Qiao Yu looked at Xin Xin with trepidation, he was indeed very ignorant, but he could also feel that at this moment, probably Xin Xin really had no intention of living.As a human being, most people want to live. This is an instinct, but sometimes it is an exception. Those unpredictable emotions will overcome the instinct and drag him to death.

Just like the current satisfaction.

Qiao Yu was so anxious that she thought she was too stupid. She didn't know how to comfort Xin Xin, so she could only put herself in Xin Xin's position, thinking about wanting to live.

He is still a little clever, and he has been with Jing Yan for a long time, and he is very good at pretending, pretending to be very calm, lightly holding Xin Xin's hand, and slowly asking: "Then tell me about that?" man, okay?"

Since childhood, Xinxin knew that the palace was a place where he could not have heart-to-heart relationships. Over the years, he appeared to be kind, gentle and fair to everyone, but in fact he never really trusted anyone. He never told anyone about Chen Sang, nor did he Dare to tell, deeply buried in the bottom of my heart.

But maybe Chen Sang is dead, he has long had a death wish in his heart, and he got close to Qiao Yu, and finally revealed a few words, his expression was very gentle, even his lifeless eyebrows were a little moving, it seemed that no matter how good he remembered However, "The first time I saw him, I was 15 years old, a little older than you."

That was, a long, long time ago.

Xinxin was sent to the palace since she was a child. She is cautious, intelligent and good at understanding people's hearts, and her life in the eunuch's house is not bad.Until when he was 12 years old, a new boss Liu arrived, and after taking a fancy to Xin Xin, he wanted to send him to his room to play with him. But he didn't dare to let Xinxin out, so he had to keep it under his nose and stayed in the eunuch's house until he was 14 years old.The old in charge was getting old and was about to leave the palace for the elderly. Before leaving, he sent Xinxin to the West Warehouse. The in charge there was familiar with him and had senior qualifications.Moreover, the west warehouse is remote and deserted, and others can't easily reach in. It's just that life is a little bit hard, and I can't get out.

He willingly went to the West Warehouse, where sacrificial supplies are stored. He didn't use it a few times a year, and he couldn't see his master's face, so he couldn't talk about favor. There were only three or five little eunuchs working day and night. Watching the warehouse at night, there are only monthly cases, and you can't get any oil or water, but you are satisfied when you are satisfied.

A year later, when Xinxin was 15 years old, another guard outside the west warehouse was replaced. The one who came was named Chen Sang. He was tall, strong, handsome, always smiling, and loyal to others. The eunuchs who even looked down upon were very polite and would not treat them as human beings.The west warehouse is remote, and even the rules are loose and loose. Most of the guards also like to be lazy and sleep until the sun rises before getting up. Only Chen Sang always gets up early and practices swords in the yard outside every day.

At that time, Xinxin was still young, with a youthful heart, and was very envious of tall, mighty and martial arts men. In his spare time, he would secretly hide behind the corridor and watch Chen Sang practice swords. Sometimes he would be caught by the opponent, and he would not even dare to say hello Hit, and ran away in despair.

Until one day, Chen Sang stopped him, and Yixin was startled, and ran away with hands and feet, but Chen Sang chased him in two or three steps, and grabbed him by the collar.

Chen Sang asked with a smile: "Hey, don't run away, you have to pay a price for peeping for so long."

Yixin was so frightened that he couldn't speak well, and stammered: "Ah... what, what price..." He knew that the guards were all hot-tempered, and looked down on the eunuchs, thinking they were not men.He was afraid that he would be beaten.In fact, he would not be so careless in the past, so greedy to look at things that he shouldn't be looking at, maybe he was confused by Chen Sang's smile, and felt that this guard was different from others and was a good person.

Chen Sang put him down, and patted his slightly thin shoulders, "The buskers outside also said that those who have money will play for money, and those who have no money will play for themselves. I have danced for you for so long, at least You have to praise me, you have to praise me better."

Yixin was taken aback, although he was usually not eloquent and eloquent, but he would never be unable to say a word. After holding back for a long time, his face was flushed, and he took out the monthly report that was just issued today from his sleeve. , stuffed them all into Chen Sang's palm, and said dryly: "...I don't know how to win people, I'd better win money."

As soon as the words were finished, taking advantage of the time spent in a daze, he ran faster than a rabbit and jumped into the backyard of the eunuch.

Chen Sang looked at his back, weighed the money in his hand, smiled and shook his head.

The eunuchs in the west treasury are all living a miserable life, living on their monthly bills, and they can only live on the small money they saved in the past. They are more miserable than others. I can't even get the steamed buns.

But he still couldn't help it, and went to watch Chen Sang secretly, but he hid more discreetly.

Chen Sang practiced martial arts, with sharp eyes and ears, he was caught again within two days, but this time he came back with more money, and said seriously: "Oh, I can't sell my art, it's very useless, only you I came to see it alone, and it scared you away last time. The person who gave you the silver is the person who predestined you. From now on, except for wind and rain, you will come to see me practice swords every day, and you have to praise me, you know?"

He smiled and rubbed Xin's head again, as if he regarded him as a child who hadn't grown up, "You have to do things well after collecting the money, and if you can't boast anymore in the future, you won't be allowed to leave. By the way, you What is your name?"

Xin Xin wanted to return the silver, but she couldn't resist Chen Sang's strength, so she said softly: "Xing Xin, my lord, my name is Xin Xin."

In the end, he still accepted the money, and returned to his yard in a blissful manner, fell on the bed with his arms across his face, and Chen Sang's smile appeared over and over again in front of his eyes.

After a long time, Yixin hesitated, put his hand on the spot on his head that was rubbed by Chen Sang, and touched it, as if he was in contact with that person's palm.

The period that followed was the happiest day of his life.

He got to know Chen Sang gradually, watched Chen Sang practicing sword, and racked his brains every day to think of how to praise the opponent's sword skills, but he couldn't be happier.

More than two months later, it was time for sacrifice again.This is the busiest day of the year in the West Warehouse. The eunuchs who came and went carrying the ritual vessels were so busy that they were dizzy. When he was on duty, he found an important ritual vessel that was broken into pieces and hidden in a hidden corner. , and this painted bottle inlaid with gold and jade is already on the list, and it will be transported to the altar after noon.

Yixin's heart sank, thinking of the sneaky behavior of the little eunuch in the room with him these days, he had already guessed seven or eight, but even if the sacrificial vessel was really broken by that person, it was discovered when he was on duty, It was his fault.

Ritual objects are so important in the palace, he is a nameless little eunuch, even if he dies, it will not be enough for his life.

He walked out of the warehouse empty-handed, tripped over the threshold, and stumbled out of the inner courtyard, thinking that he would not survive today, and he had no wish before death, so he just wanted to see Chen Sang and watch him dance sword at last.

This is the first time that Xinxin went to look for Chen Sang when he was on duty. Chen Sang saw that he was in a bad mood, but he danced a set of sword skills for him first, and then asked: "What's wrong? What happened, tell me .”

When Xin Xin raised her head, tears flowed down her eye sockets, she looked very pitiful.He didn't want to cry at first, and he didn't want to let Chen Sang see what was wrong, so he wanted to say goodbye quietly in his heart, but when Chen Sang asked, he couldn't hold it anymore, and said with a sob: "I, I'm dying, A ritual vessel in the warehouse is broken, and they come to move things in the afternoon, I, I am going to die."

Chen Sang was taken aback, hugged him lightly, and comforted him: "It will be fine, don't be afraid, you won't die."

It's like saying a solemn promise.

He comforted Xin Xin for a while, then left because of something, and Xin Xin looked at his back, feeling sore in his heart, feeling that he would die without regret.He was already ready to die, but he didn't expect that at noon, the eunuch outside and the head of the West Treasury opened the door and cleaned up the broken ritual vessels.Xinxin heard them say that a guard was drunk at noon today. He opened the door of the storehouse and broke an important ritual vessel. Now they are reporting to the higher authorities. People have already been punished and punished monthly.

That guard is Chen Sang.

Gritting her teeth, she didn't tell the truth of the matter.If he said it, he would definitely not be able to escape death, and Chen Sang would be punished even more, maybe he would not be able to save his life.

He didn't even know how he got through those days.

Because Chen Sang made a mistake, he transferred out of the west warehouse.After begging many people, Yixin got his news, sneaked out in the middle of the night, and followed the path to find the new place where Chen Sang was on duty.

Xin Xin looked at him, unable to say a word.

Standing straight, Chen Sang couldn't tell that he was injured. He bent down and rubbed Xin Xin's head, and said with a smile, "I saved you. From now on, this life will be mine, right?"

Xin Xin nodded desperately.

Chen Sang held up the lantern, wiped his tears for him, and said solemnly: "Then you have to listen to me, no matter what, you have to live happily in the future. Don't cry, just smile for me."

At that moment, Xin Xin's world turned upside down, and he knew that he was finished.

Afterwards, for a long time, Yixin never saw Chen Sang again.He desperately wanted to leave the West Warehouse, looking for a chance to transfer to a place where he could move around freely and meet Chen Sang.He was originally very intelligent and good at patience, and finally won the favor of Concubine De, and was transferred to her palace, where he was trusted, and he no longer had to be afraid of that Liu in charge, and he could go to see Chen Sang.

But Chen Sang left long ago.

After some more inquiries, Cheng Xin found out that Chen Sang was the son of General Chen. He was born with a talent and was invincible.

Later, after a long time, Yixin finally waited for Chen Sang to return to Beijing to visit his sister, Empress Chen, in the harem, and hid in the crowd, watching Chen Sang's eyes pass by her, and left without a single pause.

He has forgotten himself.

It should have been like this, Ying Xin thought, his Chen Sang's heart is full of family and country affairs, how can he have the time to pretend to be an inconspicuous little eunuch?But it doesn't matter, there is a world of distance between him and Chen Sangben, if there is contact, it will be harmful to his clear reputation.

Putting your sweetheart on the tip of your heart properly, looking at him secretly, looking at him, hoping that everything will be perfect for him, would be the best.

Qiao Yu listened to Xin Xin recalling the past, as if every word she uttered was happy, so she asked: "But, that general is destined not to like to repay you, why continue?"

Xinxin smiled, her expression was in a trance for a moment, and she said gently: "You are young, and you still don't understand. When you have a sweetheart, you will know that emotional matters do not ask for anything in return. I hope you will understand in the future, and hope You don't understand. Because we are just eunuchs, we are not even considered individuals, even if our sweetheart is in danger, we can't do anything..."

Just like that, I watched him die in a foreign land with no bones left.

His voice gradually softened and seemed to disappear, and he suddenly said: "He is so good, he shouldn't have fought that battle, he was the one who volunteered to protect the people, and died there, but he was going to be framed by animals , I can’t even keep my reputation. I really can’t help it.”

In fact, Xinxin couldn't hold on any longer, he just regretted his life, it was saved by Chen Sang, and he couldn't die in vain, so he has lived until now.

He really didn't want to live anymore, he just wanted to apologize to Chen Sang after death, wasting his own life in vain.

Qiao Yu gritted his teeth. The current mood of Xin Xin was too obvious. He was terrified. Thinking back to what Xin Xin said just now, he was quick-witted and said loudly: "There is a way! That general is so good, but he was slandered by traitors, you You can investigate this matter and return his innocence."

Yixin laughed at herself, and asked casually: "How to check, I'm just a eunuch, at most I can only stay in the harem, and I will never get in touch with the affairs of the previous court."

Qiao Yu thought about what Jing Yan usually said and taught, and continued, "As long as you become a personal eunuch next to His Majesty, and you can go to court with the holy chariot, there must be a way to find out the truth."

He was afraid that Xinxin still had thoughts of suicide, his eyelashes trembled slightly, but his tone was firm enough, which was not only encouraging Xinxin, but also what he had said to himself, "Although I am young and don't understand the feelings you said, but if you treat me For such an important person, if he dies and is insulted by others, he will definitely not die easily, but will help him clear up his grievances. Because death is an easy thing, but living is difficult. To be fearless of all kinds of difficulties and dangers , to fulfill his wish. When I go to the Yincao Difu in the future, I will be ashamed of myself and that person."

At that time, Qiao Yu was sent out of the East Palace to the eunuch's office, and she also thought about what would happen if she pretended to be a eunuch and went to the Taiqing Palace to expose herself.But he still didn't hesitate, because he was more afraid of surviving but not seeing the prince forever than being afraid of death.

After thinking about it for a long time, she finally smiled slightly, turned her head to Qiao Yu and said, "You're right. It's my fault that he shouldn't have been buried under the charge of collaborating with the enemy and treason."

He can die for the person he cherishes in his heart, or he can live for him.

Maybe it was because he had made an important decision, and he suddenly felt relieved, but he relaxed, drank half a glass of water, and said it in a daze after a while.

When Qiao Yu left, Yixin smiled slightly, as if she was having some kind of sweet dream.

He cautiously pushed the door open and left, lowered his eyebrows and received the bad meal from the manager's godson, and went back to the Taiqing Palace without coveting any excitement along the way.

As soon as he saw Jing Yan, Qiao Yu flew up. Although he didn't understand Xin's feelings, he was a little scared. He always wanted to see the prince so that he could feel at ease.

Jing Yan touched the back of his head and asked, "What's wrong? What wronged you today?"

Qiao Yu shook her head, raised her eyes to stare straight at Jing Yan, tilted her head, and frowned with a smile, "I just feel that I'm so lucky to have met His Highness, and now I can still be with you."

Jing Yan was startled, then gradually suppressed his smile, and said softly, "Me too."