Can't hold hands

If you were about to face death in the next second, what would you choose among the current choices?

I stared blankly at the storefronts facing each other on both sides of the road, and chose the latter between soup dumplings and beef noodles.

I stood on the sidewalk and waited for the traffic light. Cars sped past me, blowing up waves of wind and dust. The wind at the end of November was already chilling.In this familiar cold wind, I congratulate myself silently. Congratulations to Yan Baiyi, who will spend the No.20th birthday in her life alone!No one knows the birthday, dinner is a bowl of beef noodles in the cafe.

well.

The car stopped, the wind stopped, and the green light came on.

Looking at the rows of parked cars, a kind of childish pleasure appeared in my heart—hmph, don't I have to stop now to let me pass?

But this secretive mood disappeared as soon as I walked across, and I walked into that cafe, the one I had invited Han Hui to—even though there was no beef noodles on the menu when she came that day.

"Hello, this is the menu."

When I looked up, I saw Han Hui's oval face in horror.

"..."

My current mood can be described in three words - hell.

I haven't seen her for almost a month, and I haven't been to this cafe.

"...You can scan the QR code to order."

She smiled and pointed to the QR code by the table, completely ignoring my obviously distorted face, as if she didn't recognize me.

I finally remembered what this guy said a month ago that he would come here to work.

"I want a beef noodle..."

Han Hui smiled at me and nodded slightly,

"OK, just a second."

I rely on!She can still show an intellectual smile, I actually think she is intellectual!What the hell!

She turned and left, and came back 10 minutes later, not wearing a uniform, but carrying a tray, putting noodles in front of me, putting another cup of coffee opposite me, and sitting down by herself.

"I'll have a rest."

I looked at the time, it was twenty past twenty.

"I told the supervisor that you were my boyfriend, and she let me go 10 minutes earlier."

There was still a smug smile on her face, I rolled my eyes, saw her stir the coffee, and said darkly, "Coffee kills eggs."

"I don't want to make a man with you, boyfriend." She gave me a wink.

I didn't want to talk to her, I lowered my head and ate the mouth noodles, the taste was normal.

"Why do you want to come here to work?" I dropped a question that would take a lot of time to answer so I could listen to her while I ate.

It is a good habit to keep silent.

"Because... this cafe is more down-to-earth. Compared with the previous bookstore, there is no piano or books, and there are no fancy names on the menu bar. I even saw beer, and now there are more beef noodles, and... The steamed stuffed bun shop across the door tastes good too.

You know, I am always easily bored with my own life. The bookstore before was full of young literary and artistic young people. I would feel old. But there are everyone here, but it’s not as chaotic as a bar, um, That's it……"

I remember that she and her ex-girlfriend met at the bookstore where the literary youth was stationed.

"There are so many people named Han Hui in this world. Gathering together can probably form a new nation. It can be seen how boring my name is. I don't want to be like it! So I will go to anything that interests me. try."

She shook her head and sighed melancholy.

"Reading makes up for the lack of nature, and experience makes up for the lack of reading! I don't want to study, so I come to be a waiter."

I took a sip of the soup, resisting the urge to be speechless, thinking that she probably just wanted to change her girlfriend, and she always had a new girlfriend every time she changed jobs.

"You can consider writing a book. Writers like to try everything and accumulate writing materials."

She gave me a white look,

"Beef noodles are delicious, right? Don't forget that you are eating beef noodles in a cafe! Don't you think it's weird? It's like sitting in a night market drinking coffee. It's amazing. By the way, isn't it your birthday today? "

Looking at this bowl of beef noodles, I suddenly wondered if it was Han Hui who came up with the idea of ​​adding beef noodles to the menu.

"Yes."

"Did someone say happy birthday to you?"

"No."

"Then everyone will think that you are still only 27 years old!"

I'm not ready to understand Han Hui's brain circuit, and it's not an important thing. I think I can be friends with Han Hui for so long because I won't say that she is not doing a good job, and I won't persuade her to do a good job .

I'm not the kind of good friend to criticize what she's going to do, so she can tell me anything.

Wipe your mouth, you can start talking about business,

"I broke up with Lin Jue."

I saw Han Hui on the opposite side froze for a few seconds, then widened her eyes. She kept persuading me to break up. I didn't expect that she would be surprised like this if I really took this step.

Duplicity!Your name is woman!

"you you……"

"I mentioned it to him last month, text message, and he never contacted me again."

I moved my eyes out of the window and said these words to someone for the first time. It turns out that the moment when something is said, there will be such a terrible sense of reality.It was as if a big rock had been pressed in my heart, so heavy that I couldn't beat it anymore.

I was calm the day I finished texting Lin Jue, but now, at this moment, I suddenly couldn't stand it anymore.

"I had dinner with you that day, and when I went back, I found that Lin Jue was gone. I bought him a bowl of wontons, but he didn't even leave a note, and there was no trace. Failed, and actually became friends with Lin Jue..."

I stopped and couldn't go on.Han Hui looked at me and said slowly,

"According to your thinking, if you are going to die in the next second, you will choose to be with Lin Jue for the rest of your life."

I hummed lightly, wanted to laugh but couldn't, Han Hui really understood me, she knew that it was impossible for me not to love that person, even if it was false, she still hoped to spend the last time with him.

But the reality is different, I still have a long time, I can't continue to let Lin Jue corrupt.

"This is the second time I saw you on your birthday."

Han Hui inexplicably said,

"The last time was when you turned 19, but I didn't know you had a birthday then."

I thought about it, a distant memory, at that age, all emotions are an overheated stove, and if one is not careful, the whole house will be set on fire.That year, I had already fallen in love with Lin Jue, but I was not with Lin Jue yet.

At the age of 19, some people have become big stars, some people have become killers, Eileen Chang published her debut novel at the age of 19, and I... the only thing I can talk about at the age of 19 is to confess my love to Lin Jue.

I remember that on my 19th birthday, that girl Zhao Wenying came to me and asked me out of school with a light blue gift box.

"I heard today is your birthday?"

"Yes."

I answered absent-mindedly, more than a month had passed since the orientation meeting, and I hadn’t seen Lin Jue again, and the time suddenly passed quickly, every minute and every second seemed to be broken, distorted, thrown behind me, and I couldn’t remember myself What have you done.

I didn't even realize that Zhao Wenying took me to a western restaurant.

"I wonder if you like Western food?"

"good."

As long as I can clear my head for a second, I will find the subtlety of the atmosphere, but unfortunately my reason has disappeared along with Lin Jue.

"one hundred……"

Hearing these two words, I woke up a little bit. The name that Lin Jue called out at the beginning has been used by everyone with ease.

"Why have you been absent-minded recently?"

The waiter served two glasses of red wine, and the candles on the table appeared and disappeared. Looking at the menu in my hand, I suddenly understood the current situation——

Zhao Wenying wants to confess to me?

pretty close……

I raised my eyes to see the girl on the opposite side, her hair was curly and her face was reddish, as if she was gnashing her teeth.

Senior sister in junior year.

Never let her confess, I have no interest in her at all, even if I like a girl, I would not choose her, she is simply not suitable, I really don't understand how she fell in love with me.

We still have to work together in the future, if I reject her today, how embarrassing it will be in the future!

I thought about it, took a deep breath, and finally spoke,

"Sorry, sister Wen Ying, it's true recently I've been thinking about a major event in my life recently. "

I rarely call her sister, she showed a puzzled expression.

"Just last month, I...I suddenly realized that I seem...seem...maybe...like men."

Zhao Wenying was stunned.

I picked up the wine bottle and took a sip of the wine. The bitter taste spread, and I lied a little. I found out that my sexuality was relatively early.

"you you--"

She seemed to understand something suddenly, but didn't say anything.

We finished dinner in silence and embarrassment, and finally Zhao Wenying touched my glass and stood up without any hesitation,

"I can accept it, that, anyway... I'll go first..."

"OK Bye Bye."

I smiled and said goodbye to her.

As a result, I left this candlelight dinner alone.

Fortunately, she stopped her confession.

After eating, I checked the time. It was still early. At 06:30, I was bored and walked down the street. I walked to the gate of Lin Jue's community without knowing it.

I didn't dare to come, I was afraid of meeting him, but I was looking forward to meeting him.

"The two of you will have to drink as a penalty, and get together without telling us—"

"Can you still drink?"

Two familiar voices, I turned around, and as expected, I saw the face of Han Hui not far away, and Zhang Qi.Han Hui is holding the hand of a girl who is awaken's bass player.

Sun Xue.

Then I saw Lin Jue, he smiled and followed lazily.

If you've seen Big Fish, you know that time stops when you meet the one you love the most.

My time was like that, and it was just him.

"one hundred?"

With a "boom", the noise from the outside world suddenly overwhelmed me like a tide. Lin Jue saw me and called me, and then all of them saw me.

This month, the world with only light and shadows became clear in an instant. I could finally see everyone's outline, their voices, the rampaging motorcycles on the street, and all of these things clearly.

Han Hui's voice came over.

"One hundred, why are you here?"