I'm sick for Mr. Lu

Su Xingyu passed out after knocking on the corner of the bed, which caused Lu Zelin to worry for a while.It was the third time that Chen Zhihao knew that Su Xingyu had woken up, but it was also the third time that he did not see Su Xingyu.

Lu Zelin asked, "Did he pass out?"

Chen Zhihao bared his teeth: "How could he pass out with such a light knock? Do you see marks on his forehead? Don't make such a fuss."

"Then why did he close his eyes again?"

Chen Zhihao frowned: "It's possible that I don't want to see you."

"..." At this moment, Lu Zelin could tolerate Chen Zhihao talking to him in this tone.If you want to change the usual, I'm afraid it will be another unnecessary conflict.

"Is there anything different about him when he wakes up?"

"...Yes, I feel that his state is not right. At first he was very calm, and he knew what happened. But then it became strange. He didn't believe that he was in the hospital, and he believed that he was fine, and said he wanted to go out..."

"...This is normal. It may be caused by certain drugs. Just don't stimulate him. Take it slowly. He can recover on his own." Chen Zhihao said after careful consideration, "It doesn't matter what is right or wrong between you. You have to be careful these days, and you must not let him mess around. Don’t think that he may be in a state of memory confusion, but his IQ will not be affected, and he will still calculate where he should calculate, and someone must take care of him. "

Lu Zelin always felt that Chen Zhihao's words were very serious: "...calculating?"

"Maybe my words are not the most appropriate, but that's pretty much the meaning." Chen Zhihao said, "If he wants to self-destruct, he will find a way to self-destruct... This is something you need to pay special attention to."

In fact, since Chen Zhihao said this last time, Lu Zelin has been very concerned about it.He had scoured the ward to make sure there were no sharp objects, not even a pair of scissors.

Although Chen Zhihao had never seen Su Xingyu's appearance after waking up, he could probably imagine it after hearing what Lu Zelin said.If he is free, he also wants to wait here for Su Xingyu to wake up and see how he is doing.But he was busy these two days, so he really didn't have time.

When Su Xingyu woke up for the fourth time, Chen Zhihao was undergoing a major operation, but he still couldn't see it.

Su Xingyu felt that his situation was very strange.He could feel his every move, but felt that every move was not his own, as if there was another force in his body controlling him.His body obviously couldn't get up, as if he was being pressed down by a thousand catties of iron, but he still had to get up, because there was an irresistible force pulling him up.

Su Xingyu couldn't even tell whether it was a dream or reality.If it was a dream, then he hoped that in the dream he would not have to face that cruel truth again; if it was reality, then he just wanted to let himself go back to sleep and not wake up.

He knew what happened.

How could he not know what happened.

When he was still unconscious on the bed, although he closed his eyes and did not open them, he could still perceive what was happening outside.

The child he tried his best to keep was gone, and it was gone after all.He knew that in order to take out the child, he must have been stabbed in the stomach, because Ye Weimian said that there is only one way to take out the child.During the period after the anesthesia passed, when he regained some consciousness, he could feel the pain from his abdomen.

Just like when the child was around, he would try every means in his stomach to make him feel his presence, and when the child had to leave, he insisted on leaving something for Su Xingyu.Before Su Xingyu felt that having a child was heavy, but he was more looking forward to it. Right now, there was only sharp pain and heart-pounding self-blame.

Su Xingyu stepped on the ground, but couldn't stand still, and his whole body leaned forward.

He thought he would fall to the ground like this, but no, Lu Zelin supported him.

"Xingyu!"

He heard Lu Zelin's voice, which was clearly close to his ears, but it seemed to come from a very far away place.

It's a dream.

He hoped it was a dream.

If it's in a dream, he doesn't have to restrain himself, he can cry whenever he wants, scold whenever he wants, blame Lu Zelin for all his faults, and express all the sadness in his heart to miss this hard-won thing he had child.

In his dream, he could grab Lu Zelin by the collar and cry like a madman who has been stimulated. He doesn't need to care about his own image, he can only say some crazy words: "...why do you... Why did you treat me like this! Why do you still refuse to let me go after you betrayed me... Now you are satisfied with this! You made me like this, are you satisfied..." But in the dream, the cry was the same A laborious thing, more laborious than reality.

Lu Zelin didn't answer, and Su Xingyu also knew that Lu Zelin didn't have the face to answer.

"In the end it was you who locked me in that house, and you refused to let me out... Do you think I really can't do anything to you? Do you think I have nothing to do because you locked me there? It's just that I don't want to! Because I want to keep this child! I don't want to argue with you, because I don't want this child to be affected! But now, he is gone, are you satisfied? Tell me, you are satisfied ?!"

Lu Zelin hugged him, his voice mixed with hoarse pain: "...I'm sorry, Xingyu...I'm sorry..."

Su Xingyu didn't have the strength to break away from him, because he used all his strength to speak: "... Tell me, over the years, have I ever felt sorry for you a little bit? Or have I been unconscious all this time, and I believe you? Sincerely... Even if you have become different, I still love you and I don't want to leave you... But no matter how bad you are, no matter how many things you do wrong, you can't do this... How can you even me The last hope is cut off..."

Lu Zelin could only apologize.The most useless thing is to be sorry, but he still has only self-blame and apology besides self-blame and apology.

"You said, did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough for you? Or am I not tolerant enough for you? Should I choose to turn a blind eye when I see you going in and out of the hotel with others? What you want is Is this right? I shouldn’t break up with you and meet you again, right? It’s my own problem to be restricted by you, right? Everything is my fault, right?”

"...No, Xingyu, it's my fault, it's all my fault..." Lu Zelin's voice was choked with sobs, "...If it wasn't my fault, if I could make you trust me enough, it wouldn't have happened These things... I should know your temperament, I know your temperament. I was too much, I thought that for so many years, one or two neglects would not cause any problems, sometimes I see you sulk, and I don't take it back The thing...is that I am self-righteous again, if I have done everything, why don't you tell me these things? Why do you need to hide it from me? "

"I know, you're angry with me. Because I've done something wrong and I'm still smug and making excuses...Xingyu, I will change it, you know I can do it...you want me to smoke less and drink less, I will do it Now, you asked me to have less contact with some people, and I did it too. You told me to lose my temper, at least I did it to you... Everyone said that after you, I changed, and I became better than before ...You believe in me, I will work harder in the future, I will not do anything you don't like..."

Su Xingyu pushed him away.His eyes were red from crying, but he still stared at Lu Zelin, and said, "...OK, I believe you...you give me back the child, and I will believe you..."

"........."

Su Xingyu saw Lu Zelin's face full of sorrow and embarrassment, and laughed coldly: "...How can you, how can you return the child to me..." He turned around and said lonely, " ...I also know that the wrong person is me...I shouldn't use this method to get a child. I suffered, I suffered, and I thought this was the reward I deserved...But where would it be? For such a thing, the child must be dissatisfied with me, so he left me..."

Lu Zelin couldn't bear him thinking like this: "...Xingyu, don't say that..."

"But I couldn't help but think, to assume, if I told you the truth, wouldn't it be like this... You will accept it! You will accept this child like me, right? "Su Xingyu turned around again and looked at Lu Zelin, "But it's also your fault. How many times have I asked you if you like children in side-talks, and you always said you didn't, so I didn't say anything. Later we Separated, I can't even take care of my own body, and I will explain the cause and effect to you when I have time... Why do you say that you don't like children? If you like children, it would be great... There will be no end like this... ..."

Su Xingyu's eyes broke Lu Zelin's heart: "This is all my nonsense. I didn't think about it for a while, so I said it randomly. Of course I like children. As long as they are our children, there is nothing I don't like. The reason...whether it's a girl or a boy, having a child makes us more like a family, of course I like it."

"really?"

"real."

After getting this answer, Su Xingyu didn't speak or cry.

He turned around, returned to the bed stiffly and slowly, pulled the quilt over mechanically, and closed his eyes again.

This is him dreaming.

Because it was in a dream, he could vent his pain by yelling and crying like this.If it is reality, he will not be able to do this again at any moment of his sobriety in the future. There is no reason, just because he is Su Xingyu, Su Xingyu who has always been calm and indifferent.

It was also because it was in a dream that he got such an answer from Lu Zelin.He still firmly believes that if he could get this answer when he first asked Lu Zelin, everything would be different.In his dream, he made up for this regret.

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