middle aged

"Do you want to drink water?" Xu Shi's silence for too long made the atmosphere in this small apartment awkward and frightening, Qi Yunze still spoke the first sentence.

"Hmm..." Mo Fanfan nodded.

Qi Yunze got out of bed, went to the kitchen and poured a cup of warm water into Mo Pingfan's hand, turned around, and lay down under the quilt from the other side of the bed.

"Don't you have to go home at night?" While drinking water, he asked casually

"No, I told my family."

"Oh." The water in the glass was almost finished, Mo Pingfan didn't know what to say, he still held the water glass tightly, pretending to continue drinking.

"Pingfan." After all, Qi Yunze couldn't bear his temper, took the cup from Mo Fanfan's hand, and hugged him into his arms.

Just like 18 years ago, the two were lying together on a half-sized bed, listening to each other's heartbeats quietly.

"In these years, I have never forgotten you. My university is in S University, and my graduate student is in S University. I tried to find you in S city, but that city is too big, and you have too few clues..." Zeng Ku The bitterness of the hard search, the bitterness of repeatedly bumping into walls, now Qi Yunze's description can be summed up lightly in just one sentence.Qi Yunze didn't want to say much, after all, that was all in the past.

"You, have you looked for me in S City?"

"Hmm..." Qi Yunze smiled wryly, "At that time, I only knew that you were in City S. I was very stupid at that time. Whenever there was no class or on weekends, I would go to the popular attractions in City S. I thought, you Why do I have to come out to play occasionally? I have to go to these attractions anyway, so I should be able to run into them. Now think about it, with such a large population base in S City, the probability of the two of us running into each other is very small, thanks to my favorite before The probability theory in mathematics is so useless to my brain.”

Mo Fanfan bit his lip, lay in Qi Yunze's arms, slowly stretched out his hand, and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I have been very unstable these years. You know, at that time I had no reason to stay in City Z. After my grandparents took me back to City S, my mood was not very stable. First, it was difficult to fall asleep, and then What's more, he couldn't sleep night after night, and his physical condition was not good." Hearing this, Qi Yunze hugged Mo Fanfan's hand tightly with some distress.

"Later, I took a break from school for a year. My aunt took me to see a psychiatrist and took antidepressant drugs, and then I gradually got better. When I went back to school." Mo Fanfan smiled bitterly: "I just wanted to study hard again. , When I returned to school, my father came back to look for me."

"Your father?"

"Well, I remember I told you that he left home when I was more than four years old, and I haven't seen him since, but he came back more than ten years later, and I remember that day when I came home from school When I was young, he was kneeling at the door of my grandparents’ house, I couldn’t recognize him at all, I thought it was some kind of psycho who came here and kneeled.”

"..." Qi Yunze kneaded the stiff shoulders of the person in his arms, and the person seemed to relax a little bit.

"He came back hoping to get my guardianship and to compensate me. At the beginning, my grandma's family and I were unwilling, but my father... he left back then, and he had a hard time. After knowing me After what happened to his mother, he came back immediately. It's just that he has been in Japan for many years, and it has been more than a year since he got the news."

"In Japan? Then you have been in Japan all these years because of him?" Qi Yunze asked

"Yes, after finishing high school in City S, he proposed to take me to Japan to continue my studies. The high school life in those years was really difficult. My college entrance examination results were not satisfactory, and I couldn't do well in China. University, and at that time, the relationship between him and grandma’s family also eased a little. In the end, grandpa decided to let me go to Japan with him for my future development, and this trip lasted for more than ten years.”

"Is he nice to you?"

"Very well, maybe I want to make up for the days when I wasn't with me. In terms of life and study, he can help me think about everything. When I first went to Japan, I couldn't speak the language. During the half-year vacation, he accompanied me to learn Japanese every day, and followed me when I went out, for fear that I would get lost and find my way home. At that time, I was almost 20 years old, so I didn’t need such meticulous protection.”

"It can be seen that your father loves you very much."

"Yeah, but I just couldn't open my mouth to call him dad. At the beginning, I didn't call him anything, but then I changed my mouth to call him teacher along with other students in the lab."

"teacher?"

"Well, after I graduated from university, I followed him as a postgraduate student and a Ph.D. I have been in that research group. I came to Z University this time, and I also met the dean of Z University's School of Biological Sciences in our research group before."

"Oh... If you didn't know him, you wouldn't have the chance to come back."

"Actually, I have stayed in Japan for so long, and I have long thought of returning to China. Grandpa left a few years ago. Grandma is in good health, but her mind is not clear. I also want to find a chance to come back and spend more time with her."

"You have been outside all these years and suffered..."

"Fortunately, at least I didn't suffer much in life, but I felt lonely occasionally. When I was in Japan, except for the first year, I lived with my father, and then I started to live in the dormitory. At that time, it was already an independent apartment. It was a little smaller than the current one.”

Qi Yunze wanted to open his mouth to say something more, but when he opened his mouth, he didn't ask anything.Alone in a foreign country, even with an unfamiliar father by his side, the feeling of wandering from the heart is something he, who has never left his home for [-] kilometers, cannot feel.Losing his mother when he was young, home and warmth have long been a luxury for him. Now... in a small apartment, Mo Pingfan should be happy in his heart to be able to have the warm company of his former lover.

But, involuntarily, Qi Yunze's brows gradually furrowed.If I was alone, it wouldn't be difficult to spend my whole life with him, but when I thought of those two children and the elderly parents.After all, this is a question that can never be both.

In fact, he is as smart as Mo Fanfan. How could he not guess what the person who is hugging him is thinking? After so many years of wandering in a foreign land, if he hasn't developed a little ability to perceive words and expressions, it will be considered a waste of life.Mo Fanfan knew that Yuqing, the two of them had loved each other since childhood, but Yuli, what they were doing now was the most despicable thing in society.However, no matter how disdainful things are, it is difficult to turn back time. In this case, why not let go of yourself and enjoy life, after all, the longing has been tormenting the two of them for 18 years.

"Yunze..." After all, it was Mo Fanfan who spoke first: "How about the two of us, I don't want your promise, and I don't want you to do anything for me, just come and see me once in a while."

"What are you talking about?!" Sure enough, Qi Yunze sat up a little annoyed: "Am I such an irresponsible person?! Is it like this now, can I still pretend that nothing happened?!"

"But, what else can you do?" Looking into Qi Yunze's eyes, Mo Pingfan knew that even though his words were harsh, they were not wrong at all: "Are you going to divorce me and give up your children? Even if you are really ruthless, I can't, I have no father since I was a child, how can I watch your two children live like that because of me?!"

"You!" Qi Yunze clenched his fists tightly. He wanted to find something to refute Mo Fanfan, but found that he couldn't refute what he said. Woolen cloth?Blood is thicker than water, no matter how cruel he is, he will never let these two children go.

"So, you listen to me..." Mo Fanfan stroked Qi Yunze's clenched fist with his hand, making him relax slowly: "You take good care of your family, take good care of your children, come and see me when you are free , the two of us have been blank for too long, even if you want to do something for me now, I will not accept it, let's be like those kids, let's talk about love first, okay, let's be willful first Come on, let's talk about love, okay?" The two hands stroking Qi Yunze's fist have gradually moved up, stroking the cheeks on both sides of the man, and Mo Fanfan gently pressed his forehead against his forehead, repeating: "Accompany me to have a romantic relationship..."

He raised his hands and hugged the man's slender waist. Qi Yunze had already lost his temper by Mo Fanfan. Now this man has become too gentle and cautious, and he is no longer the same as the quarrelsome and slightly vicious Mo Fanfan in his youth. Same, but he still loves him, this kind of Mo Fanfan stimulated his desire to protect, and made Qi Yunze want to hold him in his arms and love him, caressing his waist, Qi Yunze nodded gently: "I will accompany you, Let's talk about love."

"Okay..." Mo Fanfan held Qi Yunze's face in his hands, looked at each other, how much love and hatred were entangled, his lips touched, and how much entanglement in the world was over.