See Nanshan leisurely

The beating heart gradually returned to its original frequency. Lan Shan stood there for a while, then finally raised her hand and hailed a car.

"Go to the airport."

Chen Youran had already left, she knew it, but Lan Shan still wanted to lie down.

Sitting in the car, her heart slowly calmed down.This state of "on the road" gave Lan Shan the illusion that she was approaching Chen Youran.She began to imagine involuntarily, what kind of mood would Chen Youran feel when he put down the things in his hands and came all the way to the capital because of a piece of news?

nervous?Fear?Worry?

She came, just to say that, to back herself up, stayed no more than an hour from beginning to end, and then hurried away.

does it worth?

It seems that we can't simply judge whether it's worth it or not, or when we do it, there's no question of whether it's worth it or not.

It was a purer emotion.

In fact, looking back now, Chen Youran did not show her traces.The two of them lived in the same room and slept in the same bed. Many times, she would deliberately avoid Lan Shan's over-intimacy and keep a certain distance.

Lan Shan has always had insight into people's hearts, but she didn't want to use this keenness on her family, so she was always dull, and she didn't think about it.

But now that I understand it, I take it for granted.

In the eyes of ordinary people, this kind of emotion may be absurd, taboo, and should be extinguished, but almost at the moment of understanding it, Lan Shan decided that if there is a feeling in this world that can describe her and Chen Youran Fetters, that should be love.

Lan Shan suddenly came back to her senses, and said hello, "Master, please stop the car, thank you."

"Not yet." The driver was a little surprised.

"Well, I'm not going to the airport anymore, just get off here." Lan Shan took out the money to pay the bill.

Although the driver is puzzled, the customer is God, and he cannot force the other party to continue riding.Besides, this is the city center, so I don't have to worry about not being able to attract customers, so I readily parked on the side of the road.

No matter how thick you wear it, you will be blown through if you stay in the cold wind for a while.Lan Shan returned to the dormitory with a cold heart, which immediately lifted the spirits of the other three.Although he pretended to be busy with the things in his hands, his eyes were all focused on her as if nothing.

When Nie Yuxin chased her out before, she had already gone far away. They didn't know what she was going to do, and it was inconvenient to follow her, so they had to come back.But the atmosphere in the dormitory was affected after all, it was always dull, and no one spoke.Now that Lan Shan is back, it's time for the other boot to fall.

Lan Shan didn't intend to leave any suspense, and walked directly to Ju Cai, "Go and explain to the counselor yourself. I can promise that I will not announce your name when the announcement is made."

Ju Cai was very nervous at first, but she suddenly breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the words.

Admitting mistakes will certainly affect her future and leave a bad impression on the teacher, but as long as her name is not announced, she can continue to stay in the school, otherwise, even if the school does not drop out, she may not be able to stand it.

"...Thank you." She murmured, and it took a long time to say these two words with difficulty.

Looking back, she didn't know what was going on with her, she hated Lan Shan as if in a daze, and tried every means to trip her up.Obviously at the beginning, she had a good impression of this girl.

Lan Shan didn't look at her again and turned to tidy up her desktop.

I was in a hurry just now, and those notes were still spread on the table.But the others were still terrified by her previous reaction, they didn't dare to approach her table, and they weren't seen by anyone.Lan Shan picked them up one by one, flattened them with care, refolded them into paper cranes, and put them in a box together. Then she took out the glass bottle that she found after shopping around the small commodity wholesale market.

The bottle Chen Youran chose was originally a popular one, and she spent most of her time finding stores that sold it.

After repacking the stars and paper cranes, Lan Shan didn't put the bottles on the table, but put them in the cabinet.Although after this incident, Ju Cai and Chen Kejun will definitely be more careful and should not break it again, but there is always a contingency in everything, it is better to avoid it from the root cause.

After putting away her things, Lan Shan climbed onto her bed.She put down the mosquito net, lay down and leaned against the pillow, raised her hand to cover her eyes, and then slowly let out a breath.

In the eyes of many people, Lan Shan is smart, stable, and firm, as if she is invincible no matter what kind of environment she is in. Nothing can stump her and make those who want to compare with her feel ashamed.

But Lan Shan knew that she was not.

She was born in an isolated mountain village, so the only way she can think of to change her destiny is to read books.Because in her field of vision, there is no other possibility.

But even for this one, Lan Shan was not completely sure.

Under the standard of compulsory education, in the countless villages under Wu Town, including Qingshanzhai, which households do not have children who do not go to school?But in Lan Shan's limited understanding, there is no one who can change his destiny by going to school.

Some of them only finished elementary school, some graduated from junior high school, and the best could go to high school, and then they either returned home and worked on the farm for a year's rations, or followed their elders to the county town or further away. Local handyman.The latter will have a considerable income and can see more things.

But there's no objection to that.That is to say, when they are young, they are outside for a few years. When they are 30 or [-] years old, when they want to get married, they will still return to this small mountain village, find someone with a similar background to themselves, live together, and continue the life of their ancestors.

This inheritance has continued for thousands of years and has remained unchanged forever.And the dream of traveling the world when I was young is more and more like a distant dream.It seems that there is an invisible shackle on these people, so that they can never really get out of here.

Even if Lan Shan takes No.1 in the exam every year, she is not sure that she will be able to change this situation and break the shackles imposed on her.The more uncertain, the more frightened.

She walked step by step in the contradiction between her affirmation and doubt about herself.

The reason why Chen Youran is so special to her is because, after getting to know her, Lan Shan finally saw clearly the road ahead.It was like a window covered with mist was suddenly wiped clean, revealing an unprecedented scenery outside the window.

But the hesitation and suspicion have been engraved in Lan Shan's bones.

She once told Chen Youran that she would also hesitate, hesitate, look forward and backward, and this was not the case all the time.Everything that outsiders should think is a well-thought-out matter is actually the result of her repeated evaluation.She is far from being as easy as everyone thinks. She needs to fight with herself and the world before she can make a difficult decision.

She just didn't let this kind of defect and weakness be revealed in front of others, even Chen Youran didn't know about it.

And Chen Youran is a completely different kind of person from her.

Her life is not without obstacles, but all obstacles will only make her work harder and will not cause negative effects.She is like the bright sun, shining forever, under the light, any darkness can only retreat.

It was only now that Lan Shan realized belatedly that she had been shrouded in Chen Youran's light, and she had changed a lot without knowing it, and she hadn't lost ground for a long time.

So thinking that he could control the future, he chose to leave Yushi without hesitation and come to Beijing to study.But at this moment, she examines her heart, only to find that that cowardly self has never disappeared, she just hides in the bottomless shadow, waiting for the opportunity to reappear.

When she realized that her relationship with Chen Youran had become estranged, the haze in Lan Shan's heart reappeared, and she began to doubt whether it was really right for her to choose to come to Beijing.But before this hesitation fully matured, she was shocked to find that under Chen Youran's alienation, there was a hot and fiery heart wrapped up.

If you understand it in a more mysterious way, Lan Shan feels that she should be a practitioner full of demons, wandering on the edge of danger, trembling and not knowing when she will fall into the abyss.

She thought that Chen Youran was a Buddha with pure six roots, and there would be no demons in her heart.But only now did I realize that Chen Youran's inner demon was actually her.

"Lan Shan? Are you okay?" Nie Yuxin's voice suddenly rang in her ears.

Lan Shan let go of her hand, turned her head slightly, and saw Nie Yuxin standing beside her bed with a worried face, looking up at her.Ju Cai and Chen Kejun were missing, and they should have gone to fulfill Lan Shan's request.

"It's okay." Lan Shan sat up, "I'm just thinking about a question."

"what is the problem?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Huh?" Nie Yuxin was stunned for a moment, and then immediately replied, "Of course."

"What do you think love is?"

"Love..." Nie Yuxin scanned Lan Shan's cabinet, thinking that it must have something to do with the wishing bottle that made her so nervous.But she believes that Lan Shan will not lie, she should not have a boyfriend.But with Lan Shan's attitude, the person who gave that gift was more like a sweetheart than a suitor.She paused and said, "I think love is an impulse."

"impulse?"

"Yes." Nie Yuxin nodded, "Scientifically speaking, a relationship is determined by hormones. When you meet someone, the phenylethylamine in your body will make you excited, your face will blush and your heart will beat, so you believe that you have met love. Then, you develop a close relationship, and the dopamine makes you want to give everything for each other. When you have each other, the endorphins will give you a feeling of pleasure and high. — just like any sport gives you. And then You form a committed relationship, and vasopressin makes you feel like love is about to last forever."

"But unfortunately, whether it is phenylethylamine, dopamine, endorphin, or vasopressin, after a period of about eighteen months, the secretion will gradually decrease until you continue to Not feeling anything. Love is like a flower, once it blooms, it dies. Maybe the relationship still goes on, out of duty and something, but not love."

"Is there no spiritual love?"

"How do you know that your spirit is not controlled by your hormones?" Nie Yuxin asked back.

Lan Shan laughed, "Let me put it this way, love doesn't seem to have any mystery and beauty."

"Love is not beautiful in itself, what is beautiful is the inspiration that human beings have because of it. They make love shine with the brilliance of art." Nie Yuxin said, "So, don't take it too seriously, otherwise it will not be beautiful."

Lan Shan instinctively felt that there was a loophole in Nie Yuxin's words. Love should not be so shallow. Apart from the physical impulse, there are other more subtle and meaningful parts.

But the last sentence was not wrong.

Don't take it too seriously, otherwise it won't be beautiful.