too embarrassing

"The more I run away, the closer I get to you. The more I turn my back, the more I see you."

——"A Thousand and One Mirrors"

Adults don't like to do too many muddy things, because their lives not only have love, but also many things to take care of.

Niu Keqing is an adult.

He has limited energy and can't spend too much on a person who doesn't like him. He needs to work and live, and needs to ensure that he can handle other things besides love.

Falling out of love is tough, but there are a lot of tougher things than that.

Even though he is sad, Niu Keqing still maintains the rhythm of life. While coping with the pressure of work, he is concerned about the teacher's illness, and he has to calculate various loans and interest repayment dates...

And so on, he was ground into a thin paper.

The only thing that made him happy in life was that his good friend Qu Jiawen was transferred to the city hospital.With pig friends and dog friends around, no matter how difficult the days are, there is some color.

Coming to a new working environment, Qu Jiawen was not used to it, so he had to hang out with people he knew well, so he pestered Niu Keqing every day.

"Are you a follower?" Niu Keqing was annoyed by him.

Qu Jiawen put his arms around his shoulders, "What's wrong with having lunch with me?"

"But the problem is, you come to me for lunch every day..." Niu Keqing's face was full of disgust, "Others will think we are gay."

"Isn't our relationship as good as having a gay relationship?" Qu Jiawen had too much energy, held Niu Keqing in his arms, and went directly to the cafeteria for lunch.

The twins didn't stick to them.

So these days, Gu Yifening can always see Niu Keqing and Qu Jiawen walking together.

You can see it when you go to the parking lot to pick up the car, you can see it when you go to the cafeteria to eat, you can see it when you take the elevator, and you can see it when you pass the hospital lobby...

Are these two intentional?

It made his eyes dirty!

Every time, when he wanted to rush over to kick Qu and snatch Doctor Niu over, he was slapped in the face by what he said——

"Niu Keqing, I'll look for you again, I'm a fucking dog!"

He doesn't want to be a dog.

A man who doesn't want to be a dog can only watch helplessly. His ex-best friend is in a relationship with another man. They are very close, and the relationship is as good as old friends who have known each other for more than ten years.

Gu Yverning's eyebrows and eyes were dark, black mist lingered in his mind, and his inferiority was aroused again, like sharp thorns drawn from the mud, with a dangerous aura that no one could see.

The man's jealous eyes wished to turn into a red-hot iron chain, wrap dozens of times around Niu Keqing's body, and then tie him tightly to his side.

They also put on heavy shackles, locked Niu Keqing's neck, bound his limbs, and handcuffed him in a dark and damp cell day and night, preventing him from going anywhere.

Niu Keqing could not be disobedient, could not disobey his orders, and was not allowed to have contact with other men. If he dared to have a rebellious thought, he would be nailed to a wooden board and punished with the most severe and vicious methods.

Imprison his freedom, lock his soul, pinch his throat with the jaws of a tiger, gnaw at his bones with sharp teeth, and erase all the look in his eyes.

He wanted Niu Keqing to be controlled by his pervert for the rest of his life, until the moment he stopped breathing, until the hot blood drained, and then he was buried with bright red roses in the small attic of the house.

His possessiveness is Niu Keqing's epitaph.

Gu Yvening, who looks like a holy envoy, hides a disgusting dark side. Niu Keqing is like a growing mold, which constantly enlarges and spreads his dark side, making him gnash his teeth violently.

"Doctor Gu, Doctor Gu..." The little nurse called him several times without any response.

It wasn't until the little nurse patted his arm that Guifenin suddenly came back to his senses, and grabbed the hand that was stretched out guardedly.

Turning his head, he found that it was the little nurse in the department.

Little nurse: "..."

Guifenin: "..."

Suddenly a little embarrassed.

The man and the woman could not kiss each other, the little girl withdrew her hand like an electric shock, and said in a daze, "Liang, Director Liang told you to go over now, he said he has something to call on you."

Guifenin nodded: "Understood."

"Also, I, I have a boyfriend!" The little nurse finished with downcast eyes, and ran away with a red face.

"..." Gu Yifenen sighed resentfully, and muttered to himself: "Is it great to have a boyfriend?"

After taking the last puff of cigarette, he inadvertently looked down, oh, only then did he realize that his hand was burned.

His arm was shaken just now, and the falling soot fell on the back of his hand, scalding a few gray and black wounds, like mold growing on his fair skin.

However, he didn't seem to feel any pain, as if... his limbs, mind, and heart were all numb, and he couldn't feel anything.

Strange, why have you become indifferent to everything in the world?

Guifenin lived in a daze for several weeks.

The days seemed to be shrouded in mist, damp and gray and cold, he couldn't get any energy to do anything, even walking was a bit out of his wits.

He crazily likes the working time every day, because he is the most focused and focused when working, and can temporarily clear the terrible things in his mind——

Niu Keqing.

Once the work is over, that person will come into his mind again, occupying all his brain capacity and mental energy.

So Gu Yvening asked his colleagues in the department to arrange more shifts for him. He didn't mind spinning like a spinning top. Being busy was his best anesthetic.

Even better than alcohol, because drinking can only make his mind full of Niu Keqing.

The only thing he can keep is arrogance.

The man firmly believes that Niu Keqing can't control him, firmly looks down on those who lose their freedom for falling in love, and firmly does not explore what the hell love is.

This belief is so strong that you can become a believer.

Then at night, against his arrogance during the day, he tossed and turned on the bed fantasizing about Niu Keqing, that gentle face, and that smooth body.

But the deep-seated desire still cannot be relieved.

Obviously all relationships are over, but why?Damn Niu Keqing still lives in his life and refuses to leave!

Damn, damn, all of them!

Every night, Gu Yifenen felt like an isolated island, floating on the lonely sea, surrounded by Niu Keqing's shadow, he couldn't escape if he wanted to, and couldn't catch him if he wanted to.

He couldn't fall asleep without thinking about Niu Keqing, but when he thought about Niu Keqing, he couldn't fall asleep again, so Dr. Gu started Schrödinger's insomnia...

He turned himself into a paradox.

Such days made Guifenin depressed, depressed, and irritable, and he felt that he was about to lose his mind.

He couldn't understand that he would think of Niu Keqing in addition to his desires and sex.Why?

Niu Keqing is everywhere. This person seems to be everywhere and pervasive, making him unable to break free, let alone resist.

"Doctor Gu, Doctor Gu."

"I'm greedy and I want more."

"My heart was shaken by you."

"...don't sentence me to death."

"you do not like me."

"I love you."

Every word Niu Keqing said lingered in his ears, never so clearly as now, even with his ears covered he could hear it.

The situation gradually developed out of control. Gu Yifenen felt that he had been mentally abused by Niu Keqing, and he had already started to get in trouble.

The man pushed open the window of the room, and the cold wind blowing towards his face was like a sharp knife, cutting away all his melancholy and blockages, but it didn't dissipate, but instead blew back at his heart more and more.

A cluster of flames "crashed" from the lighter, and a cigarette was caught on the fingertip, and it was ignited like this.

Guifenin took a deep breath, taking the taste of nicotine as the oxygen to extend his life, thinking: I probably can't quit this smoke.

He fell into the addiction that Niu Keqing had before, especially in the middle of the night, when he smoked so fiercely that the ashtray would be filled with burnt cigarette butts after a night.

He didn't understand why he became like this.

Why did Niu Keqing stay in his mind?

When will the days of insanity end?

Where does the growing addiction to smoking come from?

—He was curious about these, but he couldn't find the answer.

He separated from Niu Keqing in order to gain relief, but now, he has no feeling of releasing himself at all.

He didn't have the ease and freedom he imagined, instead he felt depressed, increasingly restrained, and even felt the pain of his wings being folded.

And the way to alleviate this pain seems to be very simple, as long as... as long as you see Niu Keqing alive.

As long as he can hear Niu Keqing's voice, touch Niu Keqing's face and body, and smell Niu Keqing's breath, his body and mind can be restored to the original state.

Make a call?Send a message?Ex-friends with benefits can also greet each other, can't they?Or... stop!

idiot.Ridiculous.

What can Niu liquidate?What exactly is that person? !He didn't believe it anymore. After playing for so many years, he was able to get out of the game every time. Is he going to admit defeat this time?

Admit farts!

He won't change for anyone.

A mere Niu Keqing, is it possible that there is no one who can replace him?

You can find it, of course you can.He can be found easily, and he is not necessarily Niu Keqing.

It's just to find a substitute. The circle is so big, is it still difficult to find it with his conditions?Since Niu Keqing can go to someone else, why can't he?

this night.

Guifenin came to a well-known gay bar in this city.