too embarrassing

"Don't ask me if I have you in my heart, you are all in my peripheral vision."

——Yu Guangzhong

After finishing the night shift this evening, Dr. Niu was so tired that he stretched his muscles and went for a walk to a small park near the hospital by himself.

I found a bench and just sat down to rest when I found out that Dr. Gu had sent him two WeChat messages a few minutes ago.

[Pig]: ^(*￣(oo)￣)^

[Pig]: Where is it?

This person even changed his profile picture into a genuine white and tender big pig with a flamboyant side, and Niu Keqing was delighted to see it.

[Bull]: The park, the one next to the hospital

[Pig]: Can I come to you?

[Pig]: [Little brother lights a cigarette for the big brother.jpg]

[Bull]: Remember to bring a few cans of beer, keep them cold

Putting down the phone, Niu Keqing leaned loosely on the bench, raised his head, and looked at the night sky.

Not long after, Guifenin came with a bag of beer, which was iced. In this winter, he had to find a few shops to sell it.

"Come here? It's pretty fast," Niu Keqing sat aside, and made room for him, "Sit."

"I ran over, of course fast," Guifenin sat down next to him, and handed him the beer, "You seem to like drinking cold beer in winter, aren't you afraid of freezing your stomach?"

"When it's just an occasional indulgence, people are already tired enough to live, and they can't even drink a cold beer as they please?"

With a sound of "da", the beer was opened, and a trace of white gas came out.

Niu Keqing raised his neck and took two sips. Gu Yifening next to him just looked at him, his fair neck, his lips wet with beer, and silently swallowed his throat.

The water in Dr. Gu's heart was originally calm, but it was suddenly stirred up by a certain cow, and it was about to become a tsunami.

Forcibly suppressing the turbulent impulse, he also opened a can of beer to moisten his throat and said, "...Are you the king of the sea?"

"What?" Niu Keqing still doesn't know how attractive he is at the moment.

Guifenin smiled and shook his head, "It's nothing."

He has learned to control his desires, and it is easy to satisfy them. Even if he is eager to get close to Niu Keqing and have intimate contact with Niu Keqing, he will no longer be so unscrupulous.

Now, even though it was just two people sitting together, he was already satisfied, and even felt that they were cuddling each other.

Without beginning or end, Gu Yifenen murmured: "Others are like deer running around in their hearts, but mine are like calves running around."

Niu Keqing's every word and every look can make him throb crazily, crazily wanting to fall in love with this person, crazily indulging in love.

Niu Keqing smiled, "Doctor Gu also have such a girlish heart?"

"Everyone who wants to fall in love will be like this," Guifenin didn't expect such words to come out of his mouth. "I used to think that this kind of mentality is only for young people."

Niu Keqing knew that the other party was flirting, so he beat him, "You are not serious."

"It's hard for me to be prudish in front of you," said Guifenin, "but if I say anything unprincipled, it's all true."

Niu Keqing drank the beer that pierced his throat, and looked at the deep black sky, with a few scattered stars hanging on it, and the light emitted was very weak, and he couldn't find it if he didn't look carefully.

He has seen the sky in the plateau of Tibet, where the blue sky is as clear as washing, the sun is very strong, and at night, it will be covered with stars, very dazzling and large, which is different from what he saw in the city.

After quietly looking up for a while, he suddenly said: "When I was in the Tibetan area, I was not all engaged in dental work. The medical resources there were too scarce, so we often needed each department to help each other. Basic on-site rescue work, or treatment of some underlying diseases."

Although Gu Yifening didn't know why the other party suddenly started to say these things, he still listened quietly, and he loved every word Niu Keqing said.

"One day, I and other colleagues rescued a child, about seven or eight years old, and it took a day and a night to rescue it." Niu Keqing choked up for a while, and continued: "But, we tried our best to save a child. , Half a month later, he died in the earthquake."

The sky was very dark, and the street lamps had a sad white light. Gu Yifening turned his head to look at Niu Keqing, and felt that the man's face was whiter than the light of the street lamps, but his eyes were dark and deep.

Gently, he held Niu Keqing's wrist, like a kind of hidden comfort.At this moment, the five fingers clenched are more powerful than any words.

He could feel his pulse throbbing through Niu Keqing's thin skin. Even though Dr. Niu looked so calm in front of him, the liquid in his blood vessels was surging and trembling, expressing unknown sadness.

"I'm not as fragile as you think." Niu Keqing comforted the other party instead, "Life and death are common things in the world. I can't mourn for a life for too long. After all, there is more than one life suffering in the world. It's just the one we supported. As far as this area is concerned, there are countless ordinary people living a hard life, and they cannot wash their faces with tears every day like the Holy Father."

During the days of aiding Tibet, he experienced so much that he can now say these words lightly without great sorrow.

"There are many sufferings in the world, even if we are doctors, there will be many things we can't do." Guifenin said to him.

He is also a doctor who treats diseases and saves lives. He can understand Niu Keqing's state of mind. The same occupation makes them resonate and empathize with each other's thoughts.

Niu Keqing nodded, his brows and eyes were as light as the snowy smile in early spring: "Yes, so I think love is the same, there are many elements of powerlessness."

He has seen the miserable life in this world, and he feels that any small love is not worth mentioning.

Niu Keqing, who was paranoid and exhausted for love, died in that vast snow-capped mountain.Now he, naturally, doesn't care so much about many things.

Guifenin seemed to have a premonition of what the other party wanted to say, his blue eyes trembled uncontrollably, and he wanted to pour out some words, but he hesitated to speak.

Niu Keqing's eyes were calm and calm, as if he had taken a lot of light, "At the beginning, I always wanted you to like me so persistently, but if you don't like me, you just don't like me, how can you force it? So I was thinking—"

Before he finished speaking, Guifenin interrupted excitedly, "No!"

The man who was very quiet a second ago suddenly howled, jumped up like a grasshopper, and held Niu Keqing firmly in his arms with his two arms.

Niu Keqing could even feel the strong beating of the opponent's heart through the fabric of the clothes.

Gu Yifenen hugged him vigorously, wishing to melt him into his own flesh and blood, "I love you, I love you so much! But Qing, I have liked you for a long time, I have really loved you for a long time... .I don’t know before, but I was so arrogant at that time, trying to ignore everything, that’s why you think I don’t love you.”

The man told the truth vigorously, breathlessly, as enthusiastic as the fireworks exploding all over the sky on New Year's Eve, splashing with heavy love, even the wind that blows by chance is inevitable.

In the end, Niu Keqing was stunned for a long time, and then whispered for a long time: "... I was shocked."

Gu Yifenen hugged him and refused to let go, and put his lips against his ear, "Trust me, you must trust me."

Niu Keqing raised his hands high, subconsciously wanting to hug the opponent's back, but his hands stayed in the air for a moment, and then he put them down.

Dr. Gu told him all the uneasiness in his heart: "I'm afraid you think I don't love you. I have made too many mistakes and foolishness in the past, so I am always afraid that you won't believe me, but I really love you. You, Doctor Niu."

This year was a long and tormented process for him to quit his sex addiction and build his liking, like a kind of lonely self-salvation.

He is constantly ashamed and self-reflecting to piece together the present self, but he is very afraid that Niu Keqing will not be able to accept him again.

Niu Keqing didn't speak.

Once bitten, twice shy.After all, he was injured, and even if the wound healed, the scars were still there, and he was not ready to start this relationship.

Guifenin choked his throat and said softly: "What I'm most afraid of is that I occupy a different position in your heart, so even if you say you still like me, I always feel that this love is lighter. , less weight."

After being silent for a long time, Niu Keqing pursed his lips, and said bluntly: "Doctor Gu, you are right, I may... have no way to believe you [-]%."

Doctor Gu just calmed down a little, and became anxious again after hearing this, "I can prove it to you."

"How to prove it?" Niu Keqing asked.

Guifenin fell silent.

Yes, how to prove it?Take your heart out?

Niu Keqing pushed his body and separated from him a little. Seeing his stunned look, he couldn't help laughing, "Silly you, I was just joking."

The other party, like a philosopher who reflects on himself, said: "But I really want to prove to you how much I love you. Because I know you still can't trust me, so I want to give this love some proof, let You can't deny it."

Niu Keqing didn't respond. He took out a cigarette and didn't light it. He just held it in his mouth to taste the smell of the smoke.

The man took the cigarette out of his mouth when the cigarette butt was mostly wet, and said slowly: "Then, just prove it to me."

He can finally become the one who is loved unscrupulously, even if he makes an unreasonable request, he knows that the other party will definitely not refuse.

Yes, true love doesn't need to be proven, it just needs to be believed, but the other party has "a lot of criminal records", he can't fully believe that Gu Yifenen loves him.

"Okay," Dr. Gu seemed to make a solemn promise, "I will prove that I love you, and I will prove it for a long time."

Silently, Niu Keqing opened the second can of beer and listened to the words in his heart.

In order to chase people more vigorously, Guifenin asked him with great interest: "Doctor Niu, can I treat you to a movie? This method is very old-fashioned and nothing new, but I heard it is An essential part of chasing people."

"what movie?"

"An old movie rerun, more than three hours, a romance movie," the man was a little embarrassed, fortunately he had this dark color to cover the redness on his face.

"More than three hours?" Niu Keqing laughed, "Aren't you afraid that I'll fall asleep in the movie theater?"

Guifenin pretended to be careless, but in fact he had been paying attention to the other party's expression from the corner of his eye, and said, "If you fall asleep, you can sleep on my shoulder. It's best to sleep for three hours, so that I can take advantage of it." , I will wake you up after the movie is over."

Niu Keqing smiled and bumped his elbow: "Tsk, hooligan."

Gu Yifening took the opportunity to lean over and touched him with his shoulder, full of coquettishness, "Doctor Niu, just promise me."

Who can resist a beautiful woman acting like a baby.Niu Keqing turned his face sideways, and the corners of his mouth secretly turned up, "Okay, okay, I promise you."

The tiny stars in the sky seem to be getting brighter and more numerous, and become like crystal diamonds, but they can't beat the light in Dr. Gu's blue eyes after all.

Under the starry sky, there are two men flirting without shame.

The weather was fine for the weekend.

Niu Keqing waited at the entrance of the cinema for a long time, from the time when the sun was shining until the sun was setting, but the person he was waiting for was the person who said he wanted to watch a movie with him...

did not come.

The sky was getting dark, and Dr. Niu stood alone in front of the crowded movie theater, and the words that Dr. Gu said sounded in his ears——

"I will prove that I love you, and prove it for a long time."