twin stars

Lei Yi

The Buddha said: Perseverance is like a deep pool, and it is the line that gradually leads to death.Perseverance is like dust, and it is futile to return without success.Persistence is like tears, it is the brokenness that drips into the heart, broken and scattered. (Tangyang Gyatso's "Ask the Buddha")

I always thought that only Ajie was a persistent person, while I was free and easy, and would not be bound by anything forever.But now, why am I like an eagle whose wings have been cut off, knowing that I no longer have the power to soar, but still persistently looking up, looking up at the blue sky that no longer belongs to me, watching the stars disappear, the sea dry up and the rocks rotten, Until I become a corpse, both body and spirit are mortal but still stubborn

?Is it only on the day when you turn into dust that you can let go of your obsession?

After filming the TV series "The Governor", I returned to Canada and returned home.Seeing Yushan and her two daughters gave her a lot of comfort.Now I am particularly afraid of being separated from them. Once we are separated, I will have nightmares of being tortured. The pain in the dream will turn into angina in reality, and I often wake up from the dream.I'm afraid to think of everything related to Ajie. When I think of him, my whole body will tremble.

"You always don't smile, Xiaoxi wants to get close to you, but you always put on airs and keep a straight face!" Yushan complained to me from time to time.

Xiao Nan doesn't live at home when she goes to college, and Xiao Xi is only nine years old, just the age she loves to play.But I just like to sit quietly on the chair and watch her play games with Yushan, and I don't want to participate.I want to laugh too, but I can't.

Life here is as calm as water.The film industry in Hangcheng is booming.With the movie "God of Gamblers", Zhou Zefa became the box office elixir of Hangcheng movies. Zhou Chixing's nonsensical comedy-style movies rose and became very popular with the audience in Hangcheng. He won several box office championships in a row. Shijie and the three of them are known as "Double Monday Success", which has become the box office guarantee of the film industry.

Ah Xing still left Ah Xiu.Ah Xiu was very annoyed: "If he is dissatisfied with the salary, he can definitely raise it? He doesn't say any reason, but he refuses to cooperate with me again. There were more than a dozen underworld gangs who wanted to force him to film with guns, but I blocked them all." Come down. I don't ask him for anything in return, it's just a teacher-student relationship. I care a lot about this friendship, but I didn't expect that he doesn't care at all! In his heart, I'm just a bad-tempered princess.

boss?What a disappointment!Other companies want to poach him for filming. Since he has no intention of staying, I will transfer his contract out according to his wish. In the future, the bridge will return to the bridge, and the road will return to the road. I don't want to take care of his business anymore! "

Ahxiu was a little hurt: he had put all his heart into supporting, caring and cultivating a junior, but he didn't expect that the other party didn't appreciate it.The things in this world, separation and reunion, false and true, true and false, right and wrong, who can tell clearly?Zhang Dao once told me: If you treat someone well, you cannot expect him to treat you well.Yes, many things are just wishful thinking. Only when you think about it, can you not embarrass yourself.I just want to

Thinking of Ah Xing sitting alone on the set and eagerly looking at Ah Xiu, I always feel that Ah Xing still cares about Ah Xiu, but their relationship between mentor and apprentice may have been exhausted.Dependent arising is gone, conditioned birth is empty!

"This Jianghu is no longer our Jianghu!" Asen would sometimes sigh on the phone, I know he remembered the old days when everyone helped each other and took the lead in Zhao's studio: "We are no longer suitable for this Jianghu, because we are too nostalgic gone."

Why is everyone so nostalgic?Why do we always obsess over certain things and certain people?

After the TV series "Assassination Governor" was broadcast, Li Gang, a young director in Hangcheng, invited me back to Hangcheng to film a costume TV series "Nine Yin Prequels" based on Zha Yong's martial arts novel.He said he was a fan of mine, grew up watching my films, and admired me very much.He talked eloquently about the martial arts novels and movies he had read, and about his own martial arts dreams. The innocent and childlike sincerity reminded me of my childhood.

The world of martial arts that I dreamed of when I was young.In that martial arts world, I can be someone else or myself.His sincerity touched me.It only takes a few months to return to Air City for filming, and then I can return to Canada. It should be...no problem...

In front of the window, I stood with my hands behind my back, staring into the distance, thinking whether I should snatch the secret book of martial arts that people in the rivers and lakes dreamed of from the hands of my old enemy.

"Whatever you want to do, just do it!" The heroine in the play, my "wife" Ah Heng said softly.

"You know what I want to do?"

"En!" She held the pen in her right hand, nodded and smiled.That smile is gentle and moving, containing understanding, encouragement and support.She is a woman who has a heart-to-heart with me. She falls in love at first sight, and love at second sight.I took her by the hand and broke through the encirclement of various forces.With me here, no one can hurt her!The sound of the enemy fighting loudly in our ears seems to be just the prelude to the vow we made in our hearts: hold your hand,

Grow old together!

Once upon a time, there was a person who had a heart-to-heart connection with me; once upon a time, there was also a person who smiled at me like a flower; once upon a time, we also held each other's hands tightly, and I looked at him and said the same prayer and oath in my heart!

My heart suddenly hurts!Can't think, can't think, quickly pull back your thoughts!

At the end of the TV series, when Ah Heng was pregnant, he exhausted himself physically and mentally in order to help me write martial arts cheats silently. Finally, he gave birth to a premature child and closed his eyes forever in reluctance.When I returned to the room with my newborn child in my arms, I saw my beloved wife who seemed to be in a deep sleep. No matter how softly I called, I couldn't wake her up.If she is not allowed to write scriptures silently, she will not die.

It was my fault again, and it was too late to regret, and I got the child again, but lost her!

I sit in the peach blossom forest and play the blue sea tide song.Who am I missing?Who am I crying for?Can he hear the tune I play?

I miss him a lot!Miss him so much!

The Buddha said: Fate is ice, I hold the ice in my arms; when the ice melts, I realize that the fate is gone. (Tangyang Gyatso's "Ask the Buddha")

Are Ajie and I missing out in this life?

I saw him on the screen during my brief stay in Hangcheng for filming.He made a police-themed movie "Integrity", which tells the story of when the ICAC was not established in Hangcheng in the early 70s, and corruption was rampant in the police world. The confrontation started the story of Hangcheng's anti-corruption battle.Compared with the underworld boss, Ajie actually wants to play the role of the agent

A righteous policeman, right?He always hopes that his films can have a positive impact on society, cherishes the reputation of artists, and is full of morality and responsibility.I admire him for being like this, but he is so hateful when he becomes ruthless!The most difficult thing is: the person you hate seems to have done nothing wrong, but you still hate him!

After "Nine Yin Prequels" was broadcast, because Li Gang used a unique editing method to capture the martial arts and love scenes of the TV series beautifully and movingly, the shots changed from realistic to freehand, and achieved great success. Won the Gold Award at the New York International Television Festival.The success of the TV series has inspired me a lot.Not only did I continue to take on a modern life drama, but I also contacted a film company to shoot a film paying homage to the one-armed, single-handed swordsman. I strongly recommended Li Gang as the director, and at the same time, I brought my good friends Xu Shaoqiang and Ah Song from the TV circle together. Participate.At this time, I saw Ajie on the screen again.He and Fang Shijie co-produced a kung fu comedy movie "The Sequel to Drunken Master", which was a big hit at the box office.He plays the role of Fang Shijie's father, who is rigid and serious, with the demeanor of a master.

Can he see the movie I made?Does he know I'm thinking of him?

The location of the movie is in the cold northeast of the mainland.I am the head of the No. [-] sword sect in the Jianghu "Wrong Sword Hall". Because I failed in the competition with my junior, I had to give up my child and give the child to my junior to take away.My wife, also a woman as gentle as a lotus, was heartbroken after losing her beloved son, and soon passed away.Years later, my son, who was raised by the enemy and deceived, came to seek revenge on my biological father.I accepted my fate frankly and came alone to the cemetery where my beloved wife was buried.

The sky is cold and the ground is freezing, and everything is dying.The tombstone is covered with a thin layer of snow, just like the white hair on my temples.If the heavy snow keeps falling at night, the whole tombstone will be covered with thick snow, right?

In the cemetery, I seem to see my lover standing in the distance and smiling at me, bringing me warmth in this bone-chilling winter.

Once, I could always see that warm smile.

We rode horses and stood on the top of the mountain, facing the morning breeze, looking at the rising sun, turning our heads and smiling at each other, full of satisfaction and joy in our hearts.

Ajie's smile seems to gather all the beauty in the world, pure and flawless, touching!

At that time, how did I know that one day, I would be shrouded in severe cold;

At that time, how did I know that one day, I would never see him smiling at me like this again!

Birth is like farewell!

Between shooting, Xu Shaoqiang and Asong asked me to drink together.It is said that because he took Ajie to a nightclub, Aqiang was afraid of being said that he led Ajie badly, so he seldom visited Ajie's house afterwards.So he doesn't know about Ajie's recent situation, so I can't find out anything.

"Hold your hand, grow old together! Hold your hand, grow old together!" After a few glasses of wine, I was a little incoherent, and I didn't know what I was saying.Unknowingly, tears flowed out.

"Ayi, what's the matter with you?" A Song patted my shoulder and asked me.

"It's okay, I'm just homesick!" I waved my hands while wiping my tears.I think of Yushan and the children, without them being around, the loneliness strikes me, almost crushing me, and the fear of being Lingchi comes again.I still think about the "home" in Zhao's company a long time ago, the home that I can't go back to.

"Some people, lost, is a lifetime!" I don't know why I would say such a sentence, and just after I finished speaking, I forgot what I said.It's just that the tears flowed out again, and no matter how much I wiped them off, I couldn't wipe them off.Ah Qiang and Ah Song drank silently and stopped talking.

I don't want to leave Hangcheng, I want to wait and see if there will be a miracle.

The TV series I took over was a family ethics drama. It tells the story that the heroine is an ordinary housewife who abides by women’s morals, husbands and children, but her husband, who I play, has an extramarital affair with the young and beautiful Miss Zhou and abandons his wife. Son, left the heroine.With the help of her friends, the heroine recovers, repairs herself, becomes a new woman in the workplace, and starts a new life.And the husband I played finally repented, knew what he had done wrong, and prayed for forgiveness from his wife and children. In the end, the prodigal son returned and the whole family was reunited.

Because this TV series reflected the sensitive topic of the husband's infidelity in reality, it was also a great success after it was broadcast, with high ratings and topicality.It's just that I was scolded miserably as a "heartbreaker" in the play.At this time, the media started to make waves again, creating public opinion that I and the "little three" Ms. Zhou in the play were really doing a fake show and really had feelings for each other.After seeing the report, I was so angry that I really wanted to beat up the reporter

.

"Why did you take on this kind of TV series?" Yu Shan asked me with sharp eyes and a gloomy expression.Since I returned to Canada, she has been in a cold war with me for several days, and today she finally began to formally denounce her.

I was so scared by her eyes, I put on a smiling face and said, "I don't have anything to do in Canada, so I need to make more films and earn money to support my family."

"I don't like you making this kind of TV series where your husband cheats!" Her expression was still very gloomy.

"The filming is all fake, fake! You have also filmed scenes, why are you so dazed that you take this as real?" I pushed her to sit on the chair, stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders to avoid confrontation.

"Does that actress like you?" The cross-examination is not over yet.

"How many times have I said that reporters like to make up things, why don't you believe me?"

"I don't believe you?" She turned around suddenly and looked into my eyes: "Is there really no one else in your heart?"

As if receiving an electric shock, I froze in place, unable to move.

"You think I can't see it? You haven't forgotten him at all!" Her voice was full of resentment.

My face was instantly covered with cold air, my brows were tightly furrowed, and I sat on the sofa in a muffled voice, refusing to say another word.I hate it when she brings up Ajie. This topic makes me suffer, but she always hints and beats me from time to time, which disturbs my peace.At this time, I really want to turn into a stone and keep everyone away thousands of miles away, and no one can shake me even if I beat it.

"You are like this every time, you don't talk, you ignore people. You still want to leave me and the child?" Yu Shan began to choke.

Yes, I have thought about leaving, just like the hero I played in "Nine Yin Prequels" built a boat with wax after the death of his beloved wife, and planned to carry his beloved wife after his daughter grew up and found her home. His body sailed westward, accompanied by his beloved wife, and died in the sea.I thought that having fulfilled my duties as a father, I would go into self-imposed exile, wander the world alone, go to a place where no one knew me, and spend the rest of my life with wine and wine.

As a companion, muddled, drunk and dreaming of death, like Gu Long, he will end the pain of this life as soon as possible.But later, the nightmare of being Lingchi made me afraid of being alone, and made me rely on Yushan and the children. I wasn't sure if I could leave them alone.

"Do you love me or not?" She threw herself to my side, tearfully tearing at my sleeve and asking.

I looked at her face that had been stained with age, and thought of the 20 years of companionship, and the ups and downs I had experienced together, and I felt tenderness in my heart: "Of course I love you! How could you not love her?"

How I wish I only love Yushan, then I won't be in such pain, and will get real happiness and joy!

She threw herself into my arms and hugged my neck tightly.I also put my arms around her.

"I want to have another baby!"

"Having a baby?" I was surprised: "We are all 47 and [-] years old, how can we give birth? You are going to be an elderly mother? It is risky!"

"No, I just want to give birth to a son for you! I had a dream, and the mother-in-law said that she would give us a son. I must give birth!"

Although my concept of inheriting incense is very indifferent, when gathering with relatives and friends in Hangcheng, the three aunts and six wives will always mention the words "no successor", and everyone will always put pressure on the woman. I know Yushan is very upset about this. bosom.Well, if she wants to try, let her try.

Unexpectedly, Yushan became pregnant not long after, and gave birth to a son ten months later!Everyone congratulated me, and my mother was overjoyed.Everyone says that we have both sons and daughters, and our lives are complete.I hugged my newborn toddler, and I didn't expect to have another child when I was old.There is one more responsibility and one more goal, and I will work hard for my children in the future, at least I have a new life again.

Direction, at least not so confused...

Feng Xiangjie

I saw "The Governor" starring Xiao Yi.After many years, he actually played the role of "Ma Xinyi", which I once played!I don't know how he feels?He has a calm temperament and pure acting skills, and he interprets the character's ambition and sophistication very well.In the TV series, Ma Xinyi died at the hands of his favorite woman. In the movie, why didn’t I “die” at the person I loved the most?

in hand?

At least you can see him on TV, at least you don't need to leave the clouds, look through the autumn waters, but "there will be nothing after a thousand sails".

I took on a few movies and promoted a lot of movies.I try to present a positive image as much as possible, but there are fewer and fewer films that are suitable for me.Maybe one day, I will also act in a TV series?

In my impression, the production of TV dramas is always inferior to that of movies, but seeing Xiao Yi's "Nine Yin Prequels", the excellent production far exceeded my expectations.In a snowy day, he walks alone and drinks with his head up, alone and on a horse; he stands alone in the peach blossom forest, playing the jade flute, thinking of his old friend; he meets and falls in love with the predestined woman.

"Girls, don't cry, you will become ugly when you cry. I won't make a move for a woman easily. If you want me to make a move, you will be with me for the rest of your life!"

Xiao Yi, do you know that I really want to say this to you too!

It's a pity that I'm not a woman. If I were a woman, I would definitely hold his hand and accompany him to the ends of the world if I heard such words, for the rest of my life!

At the end of the TV series, he lost his beloved wife, covered his face, bent down, and cried silently.

I really want to be by his side!

Not long after, I saw the film he made in tribute to the Single Swordsman. He was sitting in an open carriage, wrapped in black fur, thinking of his dead wife and lost son in the snow with endless sorrow.And that melancholy look again!This kind of expression once made my heart flutter, and I wished to take out my heart and liver and offer it to him, just to make him smile.

no!Feng Xiangjie, you have to be sober, this is just a movie, it's a fiction, don't let yourself fall into it again!

A few months later, I saw a TV series starring him again.He played a cheating husband, a husband who once tried his best to take care of the family and love his wife and children, but after seeing the woman he liked, he couldn't stop his love for her and finally chose to abandon the family.I can understand the love-hate feelings of the heroine: I love him very much, but I can't stop him from falling in love with others. I can feel the helpless sense of despair, the kind of heart-wrenching feeling of love and hatred, the deepest!

I used to regard him as my "wife", but he fell in love with someone else and "off the rails", what can I do?I can only choose to leave completely, give up my thoughts and feelings!Even if you can't break it, you still have to cover your heart, let the heart decay alone, and don't let others see it.

In the TV series, his prodigal son turned around and reunited with his family.Fiction is always better and more hopeful than reality.

After some time, news came from Canada that Lin Yushan had actually given birth to a son for Xiao Yi at the age of nearly 50. Everyone in the circle was shocked and even doubted the authenticity of the news.Xiao Yi is very happy, right?A loving husband and wife, with both children, how complete and happy his life is!Only I am moaning alone... When will such a day be a head?

Lei Yi

Xiaoer called and told me a surprising thing: Ajie's mother passed away!I have been ill for a long time, and there is no medicine to cure it.I was so worried that I wished I could fly back to Hangcheng immediately and fly to Ajie's side!I still remember his heart-wrenching look when his father died.

"He...how is he now?" I asked anxiously on the phone.

"Oh, sitting alone in the room, refusing to see anyone."

"Then, what should I do then?" I was confused.

"Brother, don't worry! I will take full responsibility for Brother Jie's mother. I will tell you if there is anything."

Small ears make me feel a lot more at ease.If he came forward to handle the funeral, I would not fall into anxiety and panic due to information blockage.

"Xiaoer, help me...Ask Ajie. Can I go to mourn my aunt, who has taken care of me a lot, I want to send her off..." Thinking back to the first day of the new year, Ajie agreed to go back to Zhao I stayed with me in Shi's dormitory, and made me a barbecued pork rice with all my heart, and I couldn't help crying.I also want to think of her as my own mother!

Looking forward to it day and night, a small ear voice finally came from the other end of the phone: "Brother..." After calling, there was no more sound.Xiao Er's silence already explained the answer.

Ajie refused!

I just want to see my aunt off, is that okay?Not even qualified to see off the dead?

How can he be so ruthless?How can he be so ruthless?

I pulled my hair violently, I can't imagine a person can be so hard-hearted!

Haha, you are ruthless!How did I forget?I actually forgot how ruthless you are?

How many times have I bumped into a wall, and my head is broken, I still forgot!Ha ha ha, how ridiculous!How ridiculous!

The hatred that had been dormant for a long time swelled up again, turning into a gigantic snake with teeth and claws hissing and spitting out letters, as if laughing at my unrepentant and extremely ridiculous!

How many times do you have to be hurt before you can completely give up your fantasy and completely give up?

"I want a wedding!" When discussing how to celebrate the 25th wedding anniversary of Yushan and me, Yushan expressed her wish after her child proposed.

"Okay!" I wanted to do my best to make up for Yushan, to make up for the regret of letting her register with me in casual clothes, not even a banquet.She has always loved me with all her heart, and I must make it up to her with all my heart.Moreover, when my daughter grows up and interacts with others, I, as a father, feel more worried about it, worrying that my daughter will be hurt by people who are unkind.Thinking of letting Yushan get pregnant out of wedlock when she was young, and wanting to evade responsibility, she felt guilty.I did some things wrong, but at least I was right to the end.

We held a banquet in the restaurant and made up a Chinese wedding ceremony.

"In the next life, can you only love me?" With tears in her eyes, she asked me in a low voice when she had a drink with me under the eyes of everyone.

I have mixed feelings, and my heart is full of sorrow: "Okay!" I have no hope in this life, and I owe her love to me. At least in the next life, I want her to obtain complete love and happiness.

"In this life, my most important people are Director Zhang and my wife!" I raised my glass and announced loudly in the restaurant.

Those who shouldn't remember, don't mention it again...

Feng Xiangjie

Mother passed away.She has been tortured by illness for a long time, and has worked hard all her life, and now she has finally obtained eternal peace!

Yes, that's all I can think of!I hid in my room and didn't want to see anyone.I am afraid that I will cry in front of them.I have shed too many tears, and I am no longer what a man should be!Another bereavement.Father, Ah Sheng, and the master who taught me Wing Chun, and now even my mother is gone!Can't shed tears!Feng Xiangjie, you have to be strong!

However, I really don't have much energy to take care of my mother's funeral. Fortunately, Xiaoer fully assisted.Seeing him comforted me a lot, just like seeing Xiao Yi when my father passed away.

Xiaoer said that Xiaoyi wanted to come to express condolences.I can't let him come, he will only make my pain worse!

Life is about losing and losing...

After my mother's funeral, I decided to send Xiaobang to study abroad.He was 15 years old, and he was in the rebellious period. He thought we didn't care about him and threw him abroad.But I just wish he had a better education.The generation gap between me and him is very serious. He pursues freedom and individuality, while I demand rules and traditions. Father and son often have conflicts.I hope to send him abroad, let him experience the melting pot of society,

Let him understand my painstaking efforts.An Ran often flies abroad to take care of Xiaobang.

"The child can be independent now, don't always follow him. A loving mother is a loser!" I wanted to stop her from going.

"You are relieved of him now? You asked so much of him when you were at home, why didn't you let him go then?" She choked on me.

"At home, I reminded him that now it's time to let him go outside to bump into a wall and suffer some hardships, so that he can understand whether I'm right or not."

"You are right, you are right!" An Ran pouted and said, "When you were young, you rode a motorcycle so crazy, but now you don't let him ride it. It's a double standard. No wonder the child refuses to accept you!"

"You..." I felt a little helpless: "It is because I know the disadvantages of drag racing that I passed on my experience to him. But this kid doesn't understand!"

"Okay, okay! Don't talk about your child, you were hit by a horse and your teeth were hit by a horse before filming, blood flowed all over your face, and your teeth were all loose. You haven't learned your lesson and you want to continue filming. Isn't it even more ignorant? You know Knowing that you are not young, do you still think that you can fight like you did when you were young?"

She was talking about how I was injured while filming a TV series on Daidao not long ago.After I was injured, I insisted on continuing to shoot. She had a big fight with me because of this, and asked me to find a substitute, but she didn't agree with me to take part in the battle.I never find a stand-in for martial arts scenes, how can I agree?The two had a stalemate for a long time, and then the crew came forward to buy high insurance for me, and she reluctantly agreed.But whenever she had the chance, she would tell me about it.I used to count

She acted naively and thoughtlessly, and at some point she began to scold me.

People are always going to change.For example, I have always disdain to make TV series, but later I think that I am really not young anymore, the film industry is the world of young people, there is not much space left for me, so I have to put down my body and go to film TV series.

An Ran still went to find Xiaobang.I stayed at home alone and let out a sigh: some things are changing, but some things can't be changed at all, such as... my longing for Xiaoyi.

The Golden Inlaid Awards Ceremony is being broadcast live on TV.A Rong and A Wei co-produced a gay-themed film, and they were nominated for the Best Actor Award for this film.When the award presenter talked about this film, he openly satirized: "Of course it's good for gays to play gays, it's a true performance!"A Rong's relationship with her boyfriend is basically halfway.

In the public state, the host actually used this incident to satirize A Rong's acting skills, which deeply hurt my heart.Ah Rong, how much pressure and gossip you have withstood to stick to your love!He just doesn't want to be a hypocrite, he just wants to show his true self, but there are too many unfriendliness and hurts in the world!

If Xiaoyi also loves me, I don't want him to be hurt like this; but if he is willing to be with me, I will do my best to protect him!Well, what's the use of thinking about it now?

Not long after, the media reported that Xiao Yi held a grand banquet on the 25th anniversary of their marriage, and held a make-up wedding with Lin Yushan under the witness of their three children.At the banquet, he also said that the most important people in his life were Zhang Dao and his wife.

I watched the report, feeling powerless all over my body: Yes, I am not important!He is with the person he loves the most, so what am I?No matter how much I love him, my love is worthless to him!

I knew it a long time ago, but my heart still hurts, and it hurts my internal organs!

Ah Rong invited me to make a movie with a small budget.After experiencing the golden age of the 80s and the prosperity of the early 90s, the film industry in Hangcheng is gradually declining and depressed, and a large number of film companies have closed down.The rampant underworld is one of the important reasons for the decline of the film industry. It has chilled the hearts of many filmmakers and forced many professionals to switch careers and leave.Audiences are also gradually abandoning theaters, and the number of moviegoers continues to decline.In this environment, A Rong wanted to boost the confidence of his peers and agreed to act in a low-cost literary film with a low salary.This kind of heart is very touching. Since he invited me, I naturally did my part.

The movie is called "Meteor", and it tells a touching story about an unemployed financial man who picks up a baby and raises him alone.I played a principled and enthusiastic policeman in the film. I had a crush on the female director of the community nursing home for many years and often helped her, but I never dared to confess. It was not until the female director died of illness that I confided my heart to the character played by A Rong. .

"In the first few years, I only dared to look at her secretly, but I couldn't tell what was in my heart when we met. After so many years, I don't know what to live for!" I opened a can of beer, put it in my hand, and stared at the bonfire on the ground in a daze.

"Live for yourself!" Ah Rong shouted: "I don't know how to persuade you, but the next day will always come, you have to think about yourself, think about how to live for yourself!"

"CUT!" The filming ended, and the director was very satisfied.It was late at night, and the crew were all returning home from work.

"Let's go after drinking this can of beer?" Arong pulled me to continue to sit on the bench and drink.We haven't had a drink like this in a long time.

"Are you happy now?" he asked suddenly.

"Ah?" I didn't understand what he meant: "Happy! Just, not happy!"

"If you are not happy, the people around you will not be happy either! They love you and want you to be happy and happy!" He said to me seriously, with the light of the bonfire reflected in his eyes. At the age of 40, he deliberately shaved his beard, but his expression and appearance were still that of a young man.

I smiled wryly, "But I don't know how to be happy."

"Confess to him! Confess to the person you have loved for so many years! No matter what his reaction is, at least you have to say your heart out. You didn't even say your confession. How can you be as regretful as the policeman you played in the movie? Forever?" A Rong's words were like a series of cannonballs that overwhelmed me.

My whole body shook, and the beer can in my hand fell to the ground.

"But, what's the point of confessing? He loves his wife so much, and I have a wife to love too."

"You have nothing to do with him now, you miss him, but you can't see him. Tell him, anyway, it won't be worse than now. At least let him know that you are avoiding him because you love him, not because of other things. what reason."

"But he doesn't love me..." I lowered my head and looked at my toes.

"Whether he loves you or not doesn't affect your confession! If you confess, maybe you will give up completely and be relieved!"

I continued to look at my toes and shook my head.

"Oh, I'm so pissed off by you! Every time you tell me not to be too horny, but the one who sticks to the horns is actually you!"

The author has something to say:

In 1993, "The First Strike of Integrity" and "Nine Yin Scriptures", in 1994, "The Love of a One-armed Sword" in 94, "Goodbye, My Wife" and "Meteor Language" in 1999

"The Tao is not to miss lovesickness, and lovesickness makes you old. After several times of careful thinking, it is better to lovesick." Hu Jichen adapted from Hu Shi's "Little Poems" .”