How to make my boyfriend fall in love with me

3.

.........

Someone actually paid attention to this post.

I was really sad during that period of time, but I don’t know who I can talk to about such trivial matters that even I feel too delicate and sensitive. Posting here is purely a tree hole. Since someone pays attention, then Let me first explain a few questions mentioned above.

A friend asked, since we are getting along well now, why do we have to rush to see our parents?In fact, the main reason is that I am about the same age now, and my family is so anxious that I have already started to arrange a blind date for me...

I was not sure about my sexuality for a long time before, maybe it was a natural bend?I have no idea.In fact, it is not so much that I have never liked girls, it is better to say that I never considered falling in love before I met my current boyfriend.Even if I try to look back on the time before college now, I don’t think that I have ever gotten close to anyone, whether it’s a boy or a girl. Most of them were just modest inquiries or nodding three steps away, but I also don't care too much.

But I think, now that the relationship with my boyfriend is a bit more stable... I want to get out of the closet at home once and for all, and I want to make it clear to my parents directly, so that my parents don't have to waste unnecessary time and energy in contacting me with a blind date. There is no need to waste the time of other girls.

The second is because of my parents... Due to various reasons, their personality is relatively strong, and they have a strong desire to protect me... and they have accumulated some experience in the industry they have been engaged in for so many years, and my boyfriend is so coincidental, Be with them.

From childhood to adulthood, my parents peeked at my diary to decide extracurricular activities for me, from changing my high school science choice to trying to decide on my university and major. Rebellion, maybe I have already decided on my future internship program, what company to go to, and what position to take... Although I have already had a successful experience of rebellion, I am still worried that if I don’t talk to them or hand in Girlfriends and no blind dates, according to the style of me and my boyfriend who don’t know about others (I sometimes go to my boyfriend’s company to pick him up from work, and sometimes I bring him lunch at noon, and I and I People around my boyfriend also know about our relationship), their industry is no better than mine, and rumors always spread quickly. If my parents find out one day, based on what I know about them... my boyfriend My friend's work, and even his company may be affected a little bit...

So I think it's better for me to tell them in advance...

Some friends replied that it is not easy to book a seat outside on Valentine's Day, so it is better to order takeaway at home.In fact, the main reason is that I ate a few takeaways nearby, which were very heavy in oil and salt. My boyfriend and I are both from the south, and we are not used to eating. Besides, eating takeaway often is not good for our health. Busy (actually, it is now), and they don’t like to let strangers come to the house, so I learned to cook by myself very early. Although most of the dishes I can cook are very ordinary Chinese home cooking, but barely can be counted. You can enter.

But I remember that my boyfriend lived abroad for a long time, and I think he might not be too used to eating Chinese food?That's why I ordered restaurants outside.

Now it seems that he doesn't like western food very much...or is that western restaurant not to his liking? …Thinking about it, I feel really frustrated. After dating for several years, I don’t even know what my boyfriend likes to eat.

Another friend asked about smoking. This is because my boyfriend was under a lot of work pressure and his smoking habit was very serious. I was worried that it would affect his health, so I told him.

I don't know when... Maybe it was from that time, when I realized it belatedly, he had quit smoking.

But when he told me that he just had a cigarette in his mouth and didn't light it, I didn't realize what he was trying to say, so I just nodded like an idiot...

In fact, I used to have a very narcissistic fantasy that he chose to quit smoking because of my words.

But fantasies are fantasies, and narcissism should have a limit. A self-disciplined person like him probably quit smoking because he realized that smoking is harmful to his health. It may not have anything to do with me.

If you ask seriously, it will appear that you take yourself too seriously, and both parties will be embarrassed at that time.

He is really not a person who will change just because of an insignificant sentence from others.

№42☆☆☆User 68733045 left a message on xxxx-xx-xxxx☆☆☆

4.

.........

Thank you so much for seeing so many people say that maybe my boyfriend doesn't care about me as much as I say.

You probably can't imagine how happy I am when I see your words of comfort, but there is a little sadness in this joy.

I feel uncontrollably sad.

In fact, I regretted the act of posting here on impulse, but now I have figured it out.

I plan to use this place as a tree hole in the future, just like writing a diary, recording the trivial matters and moods when I get along with my boyfriend (I always say that I am a boyfriend, but in fact our way of getting along is not like many lovers around me Intimate and tacit understanding, I will call him "Mr. Y" in this post from now on), because my social circle in reality is very small, and I have no way to force them to say These parents have short and unfocused thoughts, it is better to vent here what they have to say in the future, and it probably has something to do with my career. When I write something, my mood will gradually calm down.

Some people replied that they thought I was too hypocritical to judge my boyfriend just because of such a trivial matter...Mr. It is indeed impossible to refute the argument of "hypocrisy", but I definitely did not draw such a generalization just because of this incident. This is not accidental. The sample base is large enough, but it is indeed because of this incident. I am really sorry that the post I made has caused a lot of misleading to everyone.

In fact, I realized a long time ago that I was just weak and unwilling to face it.

Mr. Y is my schoolboy, who is four years younger than me.

At that time, I was still a graduate student, and I was doing research projects with my professional tutor. My major was relatively unpopular, and it was a liberal arts. Therefore, the school did not provide us with a special seminar room for our major except the library. The tutor had to take a few of us students every day other specialized classrooms.The laboratory next door to the classroom I studied in the first year was a teacher from another college who was familiar with our supervisor. For a while, he took five or six undergraduate competition students to do experiments and write reports all day long. Due to the good relationship between the supervisors, Those of us who are students also have a lot of contacts.

Mr. Y was one of the five or six undergraduates at that time.

When I was with Mr. Y, I was the one who confessed first, but I didn’t even find out whether Mr. Y was a straight man at the time, so I just went on a rampage without reason. Now that I think about it, even a basic omen There is no confession, which is really embarrassing.

And the most embarrassing thing is that when I was so passionate and confessed to him regardless, I was surrounded by students from two classrooms.

But fortunately, this is the case, so Mr. Y took my face into consideration, and didn't reject me on the spot, but just stood there without saying a word.

I stood there dumbfounded after I finished speaking, and he also stood silently. I don’t know how long the embarrassing atmosphere at the scene froze. It was a friend I had a good time with before. I probably couldn’t stand it anymore, so he hooked Y The gentleman smoothed the field on his shoulders, saying that I am a dead-headed person, and if I lose in a big adventure game, I can do whatever it is called, and let him not pay too much attention to it. Calling for friends, some people pulled me away from my stiffness and teased me loudly for my love of joking.

Anyone who has known me for a long time knows that I never joke.

It wasn't until that moment that I realized what a stupid thing I had done, he was a straight guy, he had been rumored to have assaulted and sexually harassed his male mentor, and then I heard that he seemed homophobic and absolutely disgusted when people called him To make sex jokes with men, he is brilliant, the pride of heaven, never compromise, and no one has ever dared to embarrass him.

I fled.

I was in a daze at the time, and I didn’t know where to run. Now that I think of this incident, my face still feels like it’s burning, and I wish I could slap myself twice... Compared with the pain, I feel more ashamed.

It's hard for me to tell you what I said to him at that time, and I don't think I can recall it, given Freud's psychological process called Repression when people encounter unacceptable things.But if you want me to imagine a straight man who has been harassed by the same sex, he is told in public by a man who is already in graduate school that he has dirty thoughts about him, and he is forced to threaten to show love in front of many people he both know, It's almost the same as forcing him to take a stand on it.He obviously didn't do anything, but because of my recklessness and unreasonableness, he managed to get into such a good university and has a bright future, but from now on he will inevitably be talked about.

At that time, I was not only shameless to see him, but also shameless to see those mutual friends present. I shrank like a turtle and hid in the house my parents bought in the local area before. I didn’t go to class or go back to the dormitory. You can't go back in time and kill yourself a few hours ago.

I don't know how long it took, maybe a little more than a week, Mr. Y managed to find my place and (decadent and unkempt) me somehow.I still remember the way he looked at me condescendingly, and he said, "It's pretty good at hiding."

I am silent.

"Don't you never joke?" He sneered.

I was speechless.

"You still regret it, don't you?"

I couldn't say anything at the time, I could only shake my head desperately.

Mr. Y kept silent, and I couldn't help looking at him. His face seemed to be a little better than when he first entered the room, probably because he realized that the perpetrator of the accident, I only looked more embarrassed and miserable, and felt a little bit worse. Degas.

The matter should have ended here, and then I just need to tell him that everything before was because I was dizzy, sick and insane, or simply followed my friend's words and said it was a prank that I lost in the game... as long as I sincerely apologized to him, explained, and took the responsibility to explain clearly to other students, let him scold me or beat me up to vent his anger. This series of effects was caused by my hastily messed up absurd confession It can be over as soon as possible, and Mr. Y and I may still get along as before.

But I didn't say anything.

My mind told me I should just end it like this, but my heart betrayed my mind.

No, I said it.

I said, "Don't you want to be with me?"

My heart is still urging me to say to him, I will be good to you, I have liked you for a long time, I liked you at first sight, you are someone I can't be, I often lower my eyes after meeting you, I dare not say more Look at you, because I'm afraid my eyes will be burned by you.

I don't need to look at you, I can see you too.

You are the one I can see clearly from the corner of my eye without looking up.

But that sentence alone seems to have taken all my courage, and I really have no way to brazenly say anything to him that might make him feel even more disgusting.

I do my best.

Mr. Y was probably scared by me at the time... Also, seeing a big sloppy man with a distorted face in front of him, courting and crying, everyone would be scared.

But he agreed anyway.

...it was really amazing, it's just that I was in a tizzy and couldn't quite remember how he agreed.

That's fine, if I think of him twisting his expression and responding impatiently in desperation, I will probably feel even more painful.

So, even so far, I have never failed to be grateful for every erroneous link of Dade at that time, but who can say that Mr. Y agreed to be with me, not out of some kind of sympathy, pity, or wanting a quick knife? Zhan Ranma quickly end this farce?

However, even if this relationship is what I begged for.

It was I who took advantage of Mr. Y's kindness and respect for his predecessors, as well as the pressure of everyone talking about money.

It was me who repeatedly begged in embarrassment, crying like a lunatic about to hang himself, that he reluctantly agreed to me.

But I still feel lucky.

I have never been a particularly proactive person who will fight for something.

The things, people, or things I actively strive for in my life... There are only two things in total.

It was also when I was admitted to university, I defied my parents' wishes for the first time, and chose a major that was far away from home and completely unrelated to what they wanted me to choose.

Although a lot of things happened at the time...but in the end I did what I wanted to do in the first place, and read a major that I wanted to study and was really interested in.

The other is Mr. Y.

I liked Mr. Y from the first moment I saw him, when he picked up the novel I dropped on the ground and didn't bend over to pick it up because I was looking at him, and when he handed it to me , I looked into his eyes, and I felt myself falling into his eyes.

Since then, my heart has always been full of fear.

I'm afraid I'm going to lose him.

But in fact, I never got him.

№71☆☆☆User 68733045 left a message on xxxx-xx-xxxx☆☆☆