soft hedgehog

Ji Tong had a dream.

The dream is a scene of an amusement park.The clear blue sky, the sandy yellow castle, Liang Yuchen and Ji Tong, just the two of them.

The photographer in the green vest drove them to the middle, shouting: "Come closer, come closer, brother is holding brother's shoulder."

The two touched shoulder to shoulder, Ji Tong put his hands in his trouser pockets and pretended he didn't care, waiting for Liang Yuchen to take the initiative.It had just rained the day before, and the air was damp and cool, but he wasn't cold.Liang Yuchen was wearing a denim jacket, without looking at him or asking for his permission, he stretched out his arms to wrap his arms around his shoulders, warming his body.

This is the only picture of the two of them together.

After taking the photo, Liang Yuchen still hugged him, Ji Tong turned around and smiled at him, and said angrily, "Are you afraid that I will run away if you hug so tightly?"

There was also a smile hidden in the eyes of the person who was holding him, and his arms were getting tighter and tighter, almost making him breathless.

"I've been willing to hug you so tightly for the rest of my life."

A lifetime, yes, they have another lifetime, a lifetime lost and found again.

He was so excited that he wanted to cry even in his dream, he jumped up with his arms around Liang Yuchen, and shouted with a trembling voice, "Brother, brother!"

"elder brother!"

Just woke up.

The moment he opened his eyes, his mind was still not fully awake, and he vaguely heard someone asking him: "Are you awake?"

"Well……"

He felt heavy and wanted to get up, but when he raised his head, something cold fell from his forehead.

"Don't move, I'm helping you cool down."

Two hands pressed him back to the soft bed, and the cold and heavy thing pressed back to his forehead involuntarily.

"The doctor said you have a fever." It was Wu You's voice.

Ji Tong slowly opened his eyelashes completely, and saw a concerned face.

"Wu You, why am I lying here?" His voice was so hoarse when he opened his mouth that he startled himself.

It was inconvenient to move his head, so he could only look around from the corner of his eye, and found himself lying on a bed that was not considered spacious, with a square energy-saving lamp on the roof, and a built-in wardrobe on the right side.

"You actually fell asleep in the park! Luckily, it hasn't rained yet, otherwise you'd be doomed."

It was still pitch black outside the window.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Two o'clock in the morning."

"Did you rescue me back?" He looked at Wu You earnestly with his eyes, and there was a faint expectation in his heart.The little boy in front of him didn't look like he could mess with him.

Unexpectedly, Wu You was silent for three seconds, and then slowly nodded: "That's right."

Nothing else to say.

The ice cube on Ji Tong's forehead was frozen in his heart, but he still thanked him.

Wu You forced an embarrassed smile on his face: "You are welcome, you are a rare Chinese friend."

In fact, the reason why I was so sleepy that I fell asleep was because I was tired and hungry, and the second was because I was freezing and had a fever.After Ji Tong learned that the person who rescued him was not Liang Yuchen, he became depressed and kept silent with his face flushed with illness.

The room was quiet for a long time, Wu You gradually couldn't bear it, pulled up the quilt on him, and reminded in a low voice: "You forgot to ask me a question."

A cartoon-like voice, childish.

Ji Tong slowly raised his eyelashes: "What's the problem?"

"You forgot to ask where this is."

"where is it?"

It's also a silly repetition.

Wu You seemed to be looking forward to it for a long time, and immediately replied with a smile: "It's your brother's bedroom!" After speaking, he put his index finger on his lips: "Shh..."

Two eyes looked at him as if asking for credit.

So Liang Yuchen didn't completely care about his life or death.Ji Tong suddenly regained strength, supported the bed with both hands, and didn't even care about dropping the ice pack, raised his head with difficulty and asked, "Really?"

"Of course it's true," Wu You said with a smile, "It's only because I said my sister wouldn't let outsiders into the room that he agreed to take you in."

After speaking, he moved closer to frighten him: "You have no money, and you are almost going to live on the street, am I right?"

"Yeah." Ji Tong's wrinkled heart was flattened little by little, a smile spread across his face, he pursed his lips and nodded, "Thank you."

His heart was warm, not only because of Wu You's kindness, but also because his brother was willing to take him in.

"Where's my brother?" he asked.

Liang Yuchen has never shown up since he woke up.

Wu You pursed his lips when he heard the words, and made a smoking motion with two fingers of his right hand close to his lips: "On the balcony, create exhaust gas."

The smile on Ji Tong's face disappeared.He knew that Liang Yuchen learned to smoke because of him, and he caused Liang Yuchen to do the thing he hated the most, and it has continued to this day.

He was silent for a long time, trying to sit up, but Wu You hurriedly helped him up.

"You still have to rest."

"I feel fine." He leaned against the bed, thought for a long time, then looked up at Wu You, with shame and pleading in his eyes: "Wu You, I beg you for one thing."

Wu You was taken aback by his solemnity: "Well, you don't need to ask."

"I want to take a few minutes of my brother's time, just a few minutes, and talk to him."

Wu You was at a loss when he said this, and he didn't understand why he asked himself to talk to Liang Yuchen, so he nodded in confusion: "Yes."

Ji Tong said softly, "Thank you."

Wu You wiped the sweat off his cheeks with a towel: "You're welcome."

He still felt sorry, and repeatedly assured: "Don't worry, I won't say anything excessive to him, I just want to apologize to him."

After finishing speaking, he lowered his eyes, as if he felt that his request was very inappropriate.

Wu You readily agreed and asked to go back with an ice pack and towel.

Once the door was closed, Ji Tong was able to calm down and think carefully about everything that happened tonight.He asked to meet Liang Yuchen, but Liang Yuchen refused, and after waiting for a long time, he passed out on the bench, and when he came back to sleep, he was already here.

The curtains were drawn tightly and the overhead light was soft.He turned his head and saw that his coat, sweater, and, his jeans were on the single sofa not far from the bed.

He was startled, and when he lifted the quilt, he saw that his lower body had already been stripped down to his underwear, and two blushes of embarrassment instantly appeared on his face.

But he didn't have much time to be embarrassed anymore, and if he missed tonight, he really didn't know when he would see Liang Yuchen again.Thinking of this, he hurriedly got up and found a set of deep plaid pajamas in his brother's closet to change into, and combed his hair with his fingers before going out.

The apartment was originally not that big, and as soon as you stepped out of the bedroom door, you could almost see the whole house at a glance.

The brass floor-standing curved lamp in the living room casts oval, slanted shadows on the floor.Dim light fills the vacant corner, and it can be vaguely seen that the furnishings here are as simple as the bedroom, except for a set of dark blue fabric sofa, a wall-mounted TV and a bookshelf as high as a person, there is no extra furniture. The adjoining open kitchen is also unused, with smooth granite countertops and few cooking utensils.

Liang Yuchen, who has lived here for more than a year, can almost be said to have nothing on his body.

The curtains of the floor-to-ceiling windows are half drawn, inside the curtain is the warm living room, outside the curtain is the balcony that blends with night and winter.Ji Tong walked over wearing slippers, and saw the familiar tall figure half hidden in the darkness, his left and right hands seemed to be busy.Although his back was facing the living room, his figure was tall and straight, and he was wearing the same suit he had seen when he was off work, and he hadn't changed.

Ji Tong stood and watched like this for a long time, until his body was completely cold again before he mustered up the courage to push open the glass door and set foot in Liang Yuchen's world.

"elder brother……"

The voice was still tense.

When Liang Yuchen heard the voice turn around, Ji Tong saw it clearly.

Unsurprisingly, the elder brother held a cigarette in his right hand, but the ashtray in his left hand was filled with cigarette butts scattered about. He did not know how long he had been smoking in this silent night.

"Are you awake?" His eyes only stayed on Ji Tong for a moment, then turned to the darkness again.

"Well," Ji Tong nodded, "I woke up half an hour ago. I'm sorry, brother, I came to you suddenly... I didn't want to cause you any trouble."

Liang Yuchen pursed his thin lips slightly, turned around and put the ashtray on the edge of the table, tapped the edge with two fingers of his right hand, and returned the ash to his lips after falling, sparks flickered and extinguished in the darkness.

In the silence, there is only white smoke like mist.

Ji Tong stood obliquely behind him and looked at his profile, not daring to step forward to stand shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Why did you come to me?"

The cold wind in the middle of the night sent these words through the eardrums to Ji Tong's heart, making his thin upper body tremble slightly.On the way here, I obviously prepared a lot of rhetoric, sincere, fierce, confessional, even selfless, many words and many thoughts, but at this moment, I can't say a word.

It took him a while to answer: "Brother, I miss you so much."

This sentence has never left Ji Tong since the day Liang Yuchen left, like a thorn, piercing deeper and deeper in his heart.

But Liang Yuchen didn't seem to take it seriously: "Why do you miss me?"

Ji Tong was taken aback: "What is why?"

"I remember you once said that you never want to see me again, why do you think about it now?"

After saying this, Liang Yuchen extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray. This cigarette butt was longer than the previous ones.

"That's not my truth." Ji Tong panicked immediately, and couldn't help but tugged on his sleeve again, "I couldn't accept it for a while, and I said those words on purpose when I was confused. How could I not want to see you? ?”

They used to see each other every day when they were the closest, and they still didn't feel that each other was enough.

Liang Yuchen looked down at the cuff he was holding onto, and before he could speak, Ji Tong let go of his hand.

"That's why I've been trying to say sorry to you."

"Sorry for what?"

"At that time, I shouldn't just avoid it blindly. I should have taken your feelings into consideration. I should have..."

I should have seen how much I liked you.

But he is not qualified to say the second half of the sentence now.

Liang Yuchen looked into his eyes for a long time without saying a word, as if he was still looking forward to it, and also as if he was looking at the sincerity in his words.After looking around enough, he added a bit of relief in his tone: "I have received my apology."

Taking into account one's feelings should be a spontaneous and irrepressible act, not related to later regret.Ji Tong will always be in Liang Yuchen's heart, and Liang Yuchen has been waiting for him to grow up. Until now, he suddenly received Ji Tong's annoyance and regret for the wayward time in the past, and he still felt a little unreal for a while.

But more of a relief.There is no right or wrong in what happened at the beginning. There is not a single sentence or one of what he said or did that he did not want to. Although it was painful, the past is over.If Ji Tong had considered his feelings at the beginning, maybe it would have made him suffer less, and at the same time would have made him love longer.

The lesser of two evils, he would rather have short love.

Seeing that he didn't feel disgusted, Ji Tong plucked up the courage to pull out the ring from his neck that he had been wearing for several months.

A ring that has been hidden for a long time.

"And brother, I wanted to tell you a long time ago that the ring has never been lost, and it has always been hanging around my neck. At that time, I really..."

In desperation, he was a little incoherent, but his right hand held tightly the piece of sincerity that Liang Yuchen had given him, and stubbornly pulled it to Liang Yuchen, repeating "I really haven't lost it" in his mouth.

When Liang Yuchen saw the ring, his gaze was finally willing to linger on him for a while longer.

The chain was too short, so Ji Tong untied it clumsily, held it in the palm of his hand and brought it in front of Liang Yuchen, carefully glanced at his eyes while talking: "Brother, look, it's still there..."

Liang Yuchen picked up the ring and examined it carefully.Although the ring was without decoration, he picked out the platinum chain himself when he went abroad, and the chain plate that was fastened was engraved with Ji Tong's initials, so he knew it was his own at a glance.

So what Ji Tong said was all lies from beginning to end.

He asked, "Why did you lie to me that you lost it?"

"I..." Ji Tong anxiously wanted to defend himself, but the real reason was already on his lips but he dared not say it.At that time, I just wanted to let Liang Yuchen stop pestering me, and say whatever I said harshly, but now I just want to make Liang Yuchen angry.

So he muttered for a long time, unable to explain why.

"It's not important anymore." Liang Yuchen let Ji Tong go.He put the ring in his palm, and put it back in his trousers pocket, "As long as the ring is still there."

Ji Tong looked at his movements in a daze: "You want to take it back?"

Liang Yuchen no longer has any reservations: "I didn't want to put pressure on you at the beginning, so I didn't tell you that this is my biological mother's relic. It has special meaning to me, and it is useless to stay with you. If you don't mind, I hope you can Return it to its original owner."

Hearing the word relic, Ji Tong's mind roared.It turned out that this ring weighed more than a thousand catties, but back then he severely hurt Liang Yuchen's heart with two words.

lost.

His throat was so tight that he couldn't speak, and he wanted to defend himself that the words were unintentional.But injury is injury, and once a crack is formed, it is difficult to recover after all.

Liang Yuchen looked at him with ashen face: "You know this is something my mother used, are you scared?"

It is inevitable that some people would mind wearing something worn by the dead.

Ji Tong shook his head desperately, "No", and then said, "I'm a pity".After saying it twice, I immediately burst into tears.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Liang Yuchen said, "Since the ring is still there, we're settled."

The bond is broken.

But Ji Tong couldn't accept the word Liangqing, he said, "Brother, are you still angry with me?"

Liang Yuchen said "No", and said: "Go back to the house."

In fact, he was not angry from the very beginning, he just couldn't get what he wanted, and was disappointed in himself, the other party, and luck.

Ji Tong knows when to be obedient.He obediently returned to the living room, his body suddenly touched the warm air in the room, and he was slightly jittery.

Liang Yuchen looked at him from behind, and stopped in his footsteps.

Walking back to the bedroom together, Liang Yuchen took a set of pajamas and a sweater from the closet, and said to him, "I'll go to Wu You's place to sleep for one night, and I'll take you to the airport tomorrow."

When Ji Tong heard it, his heart seemed to be soaked in the cool well water. Before he could refuse to leave tomorrow, he asked, "You have already..."

Liang Yuchen asked: "What about us?"

He pursed his lips and said nothing.

Liang Yuchen had a good temper, so he removed the ice pack that had turned into water on the bed and said, "The medicine is in the bedside table, three pills at a time, before going to bed after eating, there is mineral water in the refrigerator."

Ji Tong nodded slowly, and soon heard the sound of the door closing outside.

—

Instance fell asleep, and Wu You sat cross-legged on the carpet in order to wait for Liang Yuchen to play games with the lights off in the living room, and he didn't feel the picture dazzle his eyes at all.

The door was unlocked, Liang Yuchen changed his shoes and walked into the living room, sat down on the sofa without saying a word, threw his clothes aside, closed his eyes, and leaned back deeply.

"Sleep now?" Wu You didn't look back.

"Go to sleep first," he said hoarsely, "I want to sit alone for a while."

The handle was pressed urgently, and the plastic button made a series of sounds. It didn't take long for Wu You to lose a game. He threw the handle away with an irritated hey, and looked back at him resentfully.

"Sleep, I always lose."

Feelings are not like games.Liang Yuchen was tired from losing and didn't want to continue, but he couldn't stop.

Seeing that he was not moving, Wu You crossed his legs and moved over, resting his chin on the back of his hand on the armrest of the sofa, looking at him with bright eyes.

"Your brother came to see you, are you not happy?"

Liang Yuchen's voice came from the depths of his chest: "He comes and leaves me as soon as he's beckoned, I'm not happy."

This sentence is too complicated.

"I don't understand." Wu You said, "You are a strange person. You chased him away and brought him back. He is also a strange person. He tears when he sees you. He doesn't look like your brother no matter what. "

After thinking about it, he asked again, "Because he's not his real brother?"

Liang Yuchen said: "I don't have such a blessing."

He is alone, he wants a mother without a mother, a brother without a brother, and his father is not just his father.

Wu You knew the pain in his heart, regretted his slip of the tongue, and looked at him sideways: "Don't be sad, I'm sorry."

This is the second person to say sorry to him today.

Liang Yuchen said "It doesn't matter", Wu You frowned at him: "Actually, I don't have such a blessing either."

They have the same disease and sympathy for each other, so they get closer and closer.

The positions of the two were staggered, one raised his head and the other lowered his head. Liang Yuchen said, "I will find a way to help you in the future."

Wu You was silent, her mouth puckered, and she was about to cry: "It's not so easy to find them."

The country is vast, so it's not easy to find two people, Liang Yuchen knew it well.The two sat silently, and Wu You came back a lot: "It's okay, thank you anyway."

Then he said, "Then how can I help you?"

Liang Yuchen smiled and said, "Take me in for one night to help me."

He couldn't let himself stay with Ji Tong.

—

Across the wall, Ji Tong was still thinking about Liang Yuchen and Wu You.

Sadness is indeed sad, but everything has been prepared long ago, and I didn't know it until tonight. Sadness seems to be bearable.It's not right to stay any longer, and it's not reconciled to leave anyway.It's like a book bought after going through a lot of hardships, but it has been burned before you read it. Even if someone tells you the ending, you still feel a pity.

He was so dizzy that he couldn't even lift his spirits when he was sad.

When he was leaving, Liang Yuchen turned off the master control, leaving only a bedside lamp for him.When I was talking to my brother just now, I was nervous and didn't feel cold, but now he is alone and finally knows how uncomfortable it is.

He lay back on the still warm quilt and took a rest for a while, then opened the drawer sideways to get the medicine.Stretching out his hand, he rashly took out a box, which was smaller than domestic medicine boxes.

"Three pills at a time..." He mumbled vaguely to himself.

While hesitating whether to get out of bed to get water, he put the box in his hand under the lamp to see the name of the medicine.Unexpectedly, as soon as he glanced at it, his face completely changed.

The light is blurred, but the words are not blurred.

What he had in his hand was not antipyretics, but an opened box of condoms.