Flight of the Bumblebee

He Qi slowly moved his heavy steps on the steps. Xing Yan walked in front of him. When he was about to walk out of the stairs, he heard a deep sigh from behind. He turned around, and He Qi leaned against the wall in a collapsed state. Up, completely lost the will to continue to go up.

"Why did I do this...it's so embarrassing...I want to die..." Thinking of what happened just now, He Qi couldn't help but want to find a hole to bury himself.Dragging Xing Yan to Niuniu's mother and saying "Let him teach your child", and "20 yuan a day"?A series of inexplicable actions were made in a flash of brain at that time.Calm down now, maybe I don't even understand what I wanted to do at that time.

Fortunately, Niuniu's mother rejected him.

She said, thank you for caring about Niuniu so much, I changed a job nearby today, and I will spend more time with Niuniu, so I don't have to bother you so much.

They also sent the two of them out of the house very politely along the way, and Niuniu also said good night and goodbye to him in a rare and nice voice.

"Did I look like a monkey jumping up and down just now? Ah - it's so embarrassing..." He said self-destructively. In the dark stairwell, Xing Yan saw him leaning his head against the wall in frustration.

Xing Yan stood at the last step, from what angle he could see the starry sky behind him.He was silent for a while before he opened his mouth and said, "No."

He Qi raised his head and said to him, "Did I embarrass you just now?"

"No."

"Are you angry?" It was the first time He Qi spoke to him in such an unconfident tone.

"No." Xing Yan said.

"Liar, you're just angry." He Qi leaned his head against the wall again.

"..." Xing Yan stopped talking.His silence was an admission that what he had done just now had really offended him.This made He Qi very hurt, as if he had done something that made everyone unhappy.But Xing Yan played the piano really well. Everyone in that room, including him, was fascinated by Xing Yan's piano sound.

If only he hadn't said those things, making him look like an idiot now.Even Xing Yan couldn't understand his mood. If he had to use a metaphor, it would be that he was like those old and half-red comedians in Japanese variety shows, who desperately performed jokes, but none of the audience present Laughing—that deep sense of powerlessness and subsequent self-doubt almost overwhelmed him.

"Hey..." He sighed again, his heart was full of remorse, "I feel so ashamed..."

Xing Yan walked down the steps, and the sound of his footsteps made the voice-activated lights above their heads light up.

He Qi continued to lean against the wall, imagining himself as a boneless sea fish, with a wall tight in his chest, raising his arms seemed to kill him.He really wanted to slide down the wall and just sit on the steps.

"What are you doing?" He said weakly to Xing Yan who walked in front of him.

"You look tired."

"I'm a little sleepy," he said.

"Then I'll carry you up."

As soon as Xing Yan said that he was going to carry him, He Qi regained his strength in an instant. He pushed away Xing Yan's outstretched hands, walked up by himself, and said unconvinced: "Who wants you to carry him? Am I legless?" As if just now The blue one is not him.

Xing Yan followed him to the top of the building, and as soon as he came out, he saw He Qi standing in the center, looking up at the stars in the sky.

It has been raining for the past few days, and it only stopped for a while, and then continued after a while. The city's long rainy season has kicked off.How can it be said that God here is like an old man with a bad prostate, he can't even control his bladder, and it rains heavily.The first time he heard this statement, Xing Yan frowned. Since then, he felt that every rain had a faint smell, and he didn't know if it was a psychological effect.

He Qi also said that there will be typhoon days next month, have you experienced typhoon days?You are from the north, you probably don’t know Typhoon Tian.At that time, if the wind is too strong, our roof will be blown away, so you have to be mentally prepared.

The humid air in the rainy season made them feel dizzy, and many things in the house were moldy. Clothes, pillows, bed sheets and quilt covers all had a smell.Every rainy day, the walls and the ground will be wet, and items cannot be placed on the ground casually, because it will get dirty easily.Fortunately, they live on the top floor and have a unique drying place.In the past, I didn't dare to hang my clothes outside, because I was afraid that if a heavy rain would fall, all my efforts would be in vain, and I would have to wash them again when I came back from get off work.Now that Xing Yan is at home, he basically does the housework, and the dirty work of washing and drying clothes is naturally not a problem.Except for cooking, a skill that he would never learn, Xing Yan is barely qualified as a house-husband.

He once asked He Qi why he didn't move away from here and rent a better house.

They were blowing the night breeze outside, He Qi leaned on the railing, suddenly pointed to a family in the opposite building and said, "Look at the window of that family." Xing Yan looked in the direction he pointed, and it was a house on the fourth floor. In the room, there were two lush potted plants in the anti-theft fence, and the curtains were pulled aside and tied tightly on both sides of the window.Warm yellow light ran out from the window and hit the dark path below.He Qi said that at night, you can't see your fingers on that road, but there are many small stones and the ground is also full of potholes.An adult like him had to be careful not to stumble suddenly when he walked by. Fortunately, a light shone from the window on the fourth floor, illuminating the path under his feet for passers-by.He once stood under the light and looked up. It was the overhead light on the ceiling, the most popular type for decorating new houses in the 90s of the last century. It did not have the bells and whistles of today, and there are often European-style palace Chinese-style crystal chandeliers.It happens to be the simplest, but also the warmest.His hometown also has such a ceiling lamp. His mother is a housewife who likes to grow flowers and grass, and everything in the house is well-organized.

When he was standing below, he was thinking that there are still people in this city who treat life with so much heart. Under that warm yellow light, there must be a delicate woman who cleans up the house like his mother .Although I live in a rental house, I treat it with the same care as my own home. Even the windows look warmer than other places.

Then he said: "Don't look at me like this, my character is very withdrawn outside. If I can accept the shared rent, I won't move here to live alone. The rent in this place is said to be cheap, is it really cheap? Where are you going?" He lay on his arm, covered his mouth in his skin and said muffledly, "But I just like it. Except for rain, water leakage, thunder and electricity, other times are good. Don't you think? Who in the modern society can eat while looking at the stars in a big city, this is it!"

They stand on the roof, and the stars they can see are also limited.The lights of the city are brightly lit, as bright as day, how can the stars far away hundreds of millions of light-years compare with them?

Today is very special, it is a special day in the rainy season.Since there was no rain, the sky was clear from the morning, and it was the same at night.

Today's starry sky is also particularly clear. It's been a long time since I saw the complete Big Dipper. Before, I could only vaguely see the shape of a spoon.

Xing Yan walked over silently and stood beside him, following his example, looking up at the stars.He Qi suddenly said: "Do you think it will rain tonight?"

Xing Yan said probably not.But the crescent moon in the sky on the other side has been covered with a layer of tulle, and black clouds and mist are drifting silently from a distance.The floor they were standing on was not high, and the horizon was covered by tall buildings.Even so, He Qi's eyes still caught the thunder and lightning hovering above the high-rise buildings, like ghosts flickering in the clouds.He just hoped it wouldn't rain today.

He Qi said that he was tired and had to go to bed first.He climbed straight into bed after showering.Xing Yan came out of the shower after him, the light in the room was turned off, and the person on the bed wrapped the quilt around his body like a rice dumpling, with his back facing the direction of the door, motionless, as if he was asleep.

He gently moved the folding bed out and put it on the ground. When he was lying down, a pair of dark eyes in You Ye looked straight at him from the opposite side.

Xing Yan stared blankly at him for a while before saying, "What's wrong?"

As if he didn't want to be heard by the third person, He Qi lowered his voice: "I want to ask you a question, you can choose whether to answer it now. Once you choose to answer, you can't go back on your word."

Xing Yan probably knew what he wanted to ask.After a moment of silence, he made up his mind and said, "Just ask."

"When did you start wandering?"

"five years ago."

"why?"

They each slept in two beds, lying face to face, staring at each other in the room with the lights off, like two young high school students who waited until everyone else in the dormitory fell asleep, and got up to whisper and turn their voices Pressed to the bottom, with midnight laziness and ennui.

The searchlight on the high-rise in the distance occasionally swept across the blue window beside He Qi's bed, and the transparent glass cast a blue light of melancholy, which shone on the two of them respectively.Because no one spoke, the room was even more silent.

Xing Yan hesitated for a moment before saying, "I ran away..."

"Where did you run off from?" He Qi asked him curiously, not prying with interest, but out of concern.

"The recital..." he confessed.

"You used to be a pianist? Are you so awesome?" He whispered in surprise.

Xing Yan is actually a pianist who can afford to give concerts, which is something that He Qi never thought of.He originally thought that he played the piano so well, at most he was an unfortunate piano teacher, or just an ordinary person who took piano as a hobby.

pianist!It sounds too far away, but for He Qi, it is a kind of person who is out of reach with him.It was so far away that he didn't quite understand what the term represented.

"What do pianists usually do? Are there pianists in our country? How do pianists support themselves? What will the performance be like? Will there really be many people coming to listen?" He fired a series of However, Xing Yan just looked at him with a smile and didn't intend to answer.

"Why didn't you answer me?" He Qi muttered dissatisfied on the bed.

"It's been too long, I forgot." Xing Yanyun casually said "forgot".

He Qi lay down and came back, he didn't intend to ask any more questions.Xing Yan's attitude says it all, he doesn't want to bring up the past, whether it's happy or sad, after today, it's the past, gone with the wind.

He didn't know if he was letting go like this, and casual memories would still make him feel suffocated.But starting from this night, I suddenly had the courage to face the past directly from the bottom of my heart, which I had never had before today.

He Qi lay on the bed and began to talk about his hometown.It is said that one year a woman in her thirties who wore only a bra came to the village and slept in the garbage pond near the temple, and everyone went there to watch.At that time, a stage was set up in front of the temple, and every year the best theater troupe in the province was invited to sing operas to celebrate the god's birthday.Someone recognized the woman and said that she had performed with a certain troupe a few years ago, and she was a famous Huadan.He Qi, who was still a primary school student, tried his best to stick his head out on tiptoe in the crowd of adults, wanting to catch a glimpse of Hua Dan's demeanor.There was a sudden commotion in the crowd, followed by obscene laughter from several men.The woman's bra had been ripped off, and she clutched her chest, cursing frantically in the stinking rubbish.He Qi finally saw her, a woman with short hair, her hair was greasy and tangled, her expression was ferocious and terrifying, her body was dirty, but the skin underneath was extremely fair.When she opened her mouth, He Qi saw two dark holes in her front teeth.Her face didn't look young anymore, and she didn't look like she was once young. With her teeth bared and her mouth cracked, she roared in warning to the men who kept approaching her.She spat at everyone around her and ran away as if to escape.

When He Qi passed the garbage pond on his way to school the next morning, the woman was no longer there.

Until now, he clearly remembered the woman's face and the expression on her face.

That year, the famous drama troupe from the province was invited to sing for the gods, and the Huadan on the stage was very beautiful and young.He sat under the stage, among a bunch of grandparents, and watched the story of the talented man and the beautiful woman all night, and finally fell asleep uncontrollably, and was carried home by his grandfather.When he woke up the next day, he couldn't remember what he had performed last night.

He said he was sleepy and going to bed.So he turned over again, turned his back to Xing Yan, and fell asleep.

Xing Yan looked at his back and lost sleep all night.