Mountain rain

3.

I always feel that adults always like to ask their children such questions: What do you want to do when you grow up?

The children speak without restraint, and they will only yell loudly, "I want to be a scientist!", "I want to be an astronaut!", "I want to be a singer!" and so on.In fact, don't talk about them, even their parents may not be able to tell what this "science" is, which planet this "space flight" is flying to, whether this "singing" can appear on the Spring Festival Gala a few times, and hang out on CCTV. His face is familiar.

A general answer, after all, people don't take it seriously.My mother always said that when I was three years old, I was old. When I was one year old, I drew lots. The first thing I hugged was a box of biscuits.

"I'm not the owner of a biscuit factory now, and I can't even bake biscuits." When I said this, I frowned, pulled out the failed products from the oven, and picked up the book to study for a while.The company researched products, and I was the guinea pig, and Sun Rangquan was the rescuer with the fire extinguisher. Neither of us was responsible for eating.

"You are an undergraduate history major, you can't do it." Sun Rang asked me to stand on the side, and he came to try.

"Okay. My mother said that not long after I finished holding the biscuits, I stuffed the table full of books into my arms."

"Nerd, I know." Sun Rang laughed, "This one looks like you!"

"Get out! If you don't succeed, you have to clean up this place for me!" I took off my gloves, "It doesn't hurt to stand and talk, can you still grab a box of fluoxetine when you draw lots?"

Sun Rang put on his apron and thought for a while, "I don't seem to have caught it."

"When you were young, did you say what you wanted to be when you grew up?" I asked.

"I said so." He pondered for a while, "I said, I want to fly a plane."

I looked at him, "Huh?"

"You don't believe me?" He raised his eyebrows, "Why, it's so good to fly a plane. After clearing the clouds and mists in the sky, you can look down at night and see a beautiful view." He turned to me and asked, "What about you? When you were young, you said What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I cleared my throat, "At that time, in order to meet everyone's expectations, I said a lot: I want to be a musician, I want to be a writer, and I want to be a scientist."

"Really? You don't look like someone who will meet everyone's expectations." Sun Rang said, "You think about yourself."

"I didn't think about it."

He nodded in agreement, "I guessed it a long time ago. If you had planned carefully, you wouldn't have to take medicine."

I gritted my teeth, this doctor was talking nonsense, talking about everything, if Tang Feixing heard it, it would be fine.

Sun Rang didn't take it seriously at all, he said, "Sen Yu, you always say that he understands you. If he doesn't notice your feelings, then I don't think he is very good."

I protect my shortcomings. When I was a child, I didn't like anyone to speak ill of Tang Feixing. This habit can't be changed. Even my mother said that I was like his brother Tang Feixing.But I was as clear as a mirror in my heart, "If he didn't know, he wouldn't have made such a wish."

He wants me and him to be [good friends] forever.

His birthday is in November and mine is in June.I am one year younger than him, but I celebrate my birthday before him.

I have long forgotten the wish I made, but I firmly remember his. It's really unfair.

When I was young, I chased some elusive dreams, dreaming that one day I would become like those people I admired.Every gesture is different.They don't have to worry about food, clothing, housing and transportation all the time, because money is often not the most important thing.They are also unscrupulous, but they have always stood on the right path, with righteousness and faith in their hearts, and moved forward firmly.

——There is also the [right way] that men like men.

I've always been curious about how they see what they can and can't do, how they accept the unacceptable and the unbelievable.Those seem to have to be polished by the years, but they are so young.Because it's me, because it's us, we have traveled thousands of mountains and rivers and overcome many obstacles, maybe we can stand on the same level with them.

Until seeing Malcolm Gladway examine what it takes to be famous in Outliers.According to analysis, the time and place of a person's birth is very important to his future success.

I understand that maybe my time and place are not close to [success].

I can't help myself, what I want to be, I can't be after all; I panic, what I want to ride the wind and waves, after all, is a big dream.

I thought before, if Tang Feixing also likes me, then I won't care about these.Whether it's money, power, success... I don't want it.But now I don't think so, as long as Tang Feixing is happy.I sincerely hope that he can forget me, stop meddling in any of my affairs, and live his own life.

Sun Rang advised me expressionlessly, "Forget about being depressed, he can't let it go, and you can't let it go...you're going crazy."

"I do not have."

"Then can you forget him even for 3 hours a day?"

"...I'm not sure." I threw down the fire extinguisher angrily and walked out of the kitchen.

I'm not sure.

Last week, the invitation letter for the class reunion of the university was sent to my mailbox. I glanced at the time and place, and asked for leave with the leader in advance.

This is where the drama is so dramatic. Sun Rang was there when I received the invitation, and the party was at the school, so he insisted on following me when he was interested.How about bringing one more person?As a result, we were a little dumbfounded when we both arrived that day. Not only did the students from the Department of History arrive, but also those from the Department of Finance arrived.

Even Sun Rang caught sight of Tang Feixing in the crowd, and then saw Miss Wu beside him for a second time.

Two outstanding people really don't let me live at all.

"Is he calling you?" Sun Rang stood beside me and handed me a glass of champagne.It was purely a coincidence that I found out about this party during the greeting. Anyway, the two sides have no objections. It would be nice to arrange it together on the lawn and play together.

I took the glass and said bluntly, "Impossible."

But I still couldn't help but look at Tang Feixing. He walked straight towards me through the crowd and actually called my name.

"Depressed."

"What, what are you doing?" I stuttered a little from fright.

Tang Fei walked up to me, glanced at Sun Rang, then turned around and said, "It's late at night, don't drink too much cold food."

"I……"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him." Sun Rang snatched my words away with a smile, "Tang Feixing, right? I've heard his name for a long time."

"who are you?"

I saw that Tang Feixing looked suspicious, and was about to explain when Sun Rang, the dead man, put his arms around my waist and kissed me on the cheek.

"Xiao Yu, let's make it public, how bad it is to hide like this!"

I turned my head to stare at Sun Rang, about to die of his anger.Fuck him, Xiaoyu! !Who is Xiao Yu!

However, Tang Feixing was the one who shook his fist at the end. He was even angrier than me, pointing at Sun Rang and yelling, "Get away from depression for me from now on."

There was a sudden commotion on my side, and half the audience stopped to look at me.Miss Wu also hurried over in high heels and pulled Tang Feixing away.

In the end, I stuffed Sun Rang with two tissue papers given by my classmates, and helped him into the taxi.

"Is Tang Feixing crazy? Or am I crazy?"

"You two are crazy together, crazy in pairs, isn't it good?" Sun Rang didn't seem to mind, he wiped his nosebleeds, "Why do I think this Tang Feixing is more crazy than you?"

"What do you mean? Could it be that he also..."

Sun Rang shook his head and asked me not to think about it all day long. He still said the same thing. Tang Feixing saw him. He felt that this person might not know anything. He was pretending, but he didn't necessarily pretend that he didn't like me.

I was confused by him, "Then does he like me?"

Sun Rang gave me a white look, turned around, "You don't know how to ask yourself?"

"I am drunk?"

Answer him angrily, if I really drank too much, I would not dare to ask.

In fact, this is very good.I am so used to Miss Wu that I might forget whether I like Tang Feixing or not.People still have a dream in 50 years, but I have only been in eight years, and I am not qualified.

But the next day Tang Feixing knocked on my door and asked me if I really liked Sun Rang.

"Wool! He and I are friends, and you took it seriously when he joked about drinking too much yesterday." I tried my best to explain to him as if nothing had happened, "Why, you want to sue my mother?"

He just said that I was talking "aggressively" now.

"Tang Feixing, can you do it? It's none of your business! Don't worry about me!"

"Depressed!" His face turned blue with anger, "I'll ask you one last time! Who is he?!"

"Okay, since you said 'one last time', then I will tell you clearly! He, Sun Rang, is my depressed friend! At the same time, he is not only my friend, but also my doctor." In the brain The string broke, and I spoke clearly, without any scruples, "I said Tang Feixing, are you pretending to be stupid? Do you really not know that I like you?"

"Occasionally, I also regret liking you, and most of the time I hope everything can be done again... It would be fine if I didn't meet you."

I looked into his eyes, Tang Feixing has a pair of beautiful and deep eyes, which is unmatched by anyone.He looked at me sadly at this moment, "I...have always regarded you as my good friend."

"Not anymore." I calmly stood up, grabbed his collar with both hands and pushed him out of the door.Tang Feixing was a little taller than me, and it was a bit difficult for me to do this, but he didn't resist, as if he hadn't recovered yet.

Before closing the door, I said the last sentence to him, "Tang Feixing, just treat the past 17 years as if they vanished into thin air. The two of us are facing the sky, so let's go our separate ways from now on."

If the layer of paper between me and him is broken, it will never be possible to be friends in this life.

Tang Feixing knows me well enough, as I expected, he knows everything.

I called Sun Rang, and then called my mother, saying that I was going to resign and go to Shanghai.My mother didn't care about me, she just told me to take good care of myself.Before I left, I was writing this blog, hoping that before I parted from this small town, I could have the last thing I miss.And these things may no longer need to be called "Tang Feixing".

I'm leaving, but I still hope he's well.

Many years ago, on the eve of graduating from university, Tang Feixing asked me what I really want.

I thought about it for a long time, and said, I think when I decide on something, I can do it desperately, and I can never worry about anything else, and nothing can stop me.

Tang Feixing was very close to me at that time, and I could even smell the shower gel on his body. He said, "Depression, you can do whatever you want."

I was full of bitterness.I fucking want to kiss you, do you know that?

Because I care too much, I have to let it go, because I know too much, so I have to let it go... Anyway, there will be no results in the end.How painful it is to guess and interpret my so-called bright future night after night like that, how sober I am.

I didn't do what I wanted to do as Tang Feixing said. I lived the way I wanted to live the most, but I didn't become the kind of person I hated the most.

It has been said that God's greatest benefit to a good man is to make him a good man.I think, I still like who I am now, and this is probably the greatest benefit that God gave me.

Recently, I have rarely dreamed of Tang Feixing. Although I am a person who is stubborn and never turns back, I feel that my signs are slowly developing for the better.Sun Rang also came to help when packing up, insisting that I buy him a drink.

I wish my life would be as simple as this.Ten years later, 20 years later, I can face it completely calmly.

To some extent, liking Tang Feixing is a happy thing.If I can meet the second "Tang Feixing" in the future, I hope I can muster up the courage to tell him this story in its entirety.

Originally, blogging is just a vulgar pastime in a boring life. If I can't find that person, I won't come anymore.

May everyone be well.

I hope there will be a period later.

(Note: As of today, this blog account has not been logged in again)

Author has something to say: end of short story*