memory hole

a day off.

Before the trip to Hangzhou, he needed to settle Deng Yi's affairs.Otherwise he felt that he might never have any chance—he would never get what he wanted even once in his life.

He walked into the HQC Group building, but never asked if Deng Yi would come today.When he was hesitating about how to proceed to the next step, Deng Yi actually called him from the original number.Ask him to meet at the nearby restaurant.

The dining room was brilliant.It's not like a restaurant that's open to the public.He was led to a box by the waiter.After waiting for about 10 minutes, Deng Yi appeared.

Wearing a well-known brand name, his expression is also cold and relaxed.It seems that he is too lazy to play any small role in front of Zhong Xian.

Deng Yi sat down and asked Zhong Xian to order.The bells mean it doesn't matter.Deng Yi asked the waiter to come as usual.

The word convention makes the clock strings uncomfortable.It seemed that he was just one of the many guests that Deng Yi entertained.They sat on both sides of the huge round table, looking at each other from the air on both sides of the rather spectacular decoration.

"This restaurant is membership-only. It is arranged according to the ideas of my brothers, and it is not open to the public." Deng Yi briefly introduced. "You'll get flavors that you can't get in restaurants outside."

"My tongue can't taste anything." Zhong Xian said lazily.

"What are you doing here at the group?" Deng Yi cut to the chase. "I really can't underestimate you. It's not accidental that you can achieve today's results. You are a ruthless character," he smiled, "Such perseverance. You have the spirit of Yugong Yishan."

"You mean to say - I'm too stupid, I know you won't give me a chance. I don't know how to advance or retreat. I'm dying, right." Zhong Xian blinked, he didn't see Deng Yi There is a diamond collar button from him on the collar.Maybe Deng Yi didn't want to take it with him at all, maybe he hid it in a dark place as he asked.Zhong Xian couldn't tell which situation it was.

"Since you have something to tell me, go ahead. I happen to be in a good mood today." Deng Yi sat comfortably in the chair.

Zhong Xian found that he could no longer feel Deng Yi, even though that person was right in front of his eyes.As if too much thought has been put into the other party, the image of this person is no longer concrete, and it is like fragments, floating evenly around him.You don't need to think about it, and you are always by his side.

What is emotion.

Why is it connected to the senses and even the flesh.Zhong Xian could feel that it was connected with his own blood.Breathing can communicate.Language is but the least powerful of these vehicles of communication.But he can only rely on language to try to persuade the other party.

"I remembered that story." Zhong Xian said, "I have taken a lot of drugs like crazy these days. I thought it would damage my brain. But I did see the shadow of the past. No matter how much I think of it, at least what I saw can prove it , it exists. It's real. That's enough to make me happy."

"Happy? Happy for what."

"For me to know the original you."

"Really? So sure. Then tell the story from your memory."

"I gave this story a name - the story of the good guys and the bad guys." Zhong Xian began to speak in style. "The bad guy was a bad boy when he was a teenager. The reason for being bad is that no one was really nice to him. Some people liked his cuteness, and some liked his cleverness. But no one really loved him. Those who have no love are bad. The child becomes a bad person. But a good person has a complete family since childhood, parents love each other, brothers and sisters respect and love each other, he does not lack love, he knows how to give and give, so he becomes a good person. When I say this, you will feel the story Are you bored?"

"Go ahead."

"But good people and bad people are two sides of the moon. They have a world that the other doesn't have. Together, they are a complete planet. Therefore, it is unbelievable that they are strongly attracted to each other despite the differences that others see as intolerable. Want to be A whole."

"Are you reciting prose poetry? Will you describe the facts as they are?"

"At least the bad guys are attracted to the good guys. They can't help themselves. It's true. They've been attracted from the beginning. But as a teenager, when he was a bad kid, he didn't understand what this strong attraction was, this feeling. It made him afraid, like a big enemy, and he desperately wanted to get rid of something that could easily cause him so much pain. He did stupid things. He stupidly wanted to get rid of feelings by hurting the other person. It turned out that he It hurt even more, and there was no relief. And then..."

"Then what?"

"He jumped off the building. Some say he committed suicide. He was just trying to cover up one more painful feeling over another. He did something wrong, and it was irreparably wrong. He hurt his other half .He's willing to do it the right way if he gets a chance."

"and then?"

"It's over."

Deng Yi stared at Zhong Xian for a while. "What is this? Are you kidding me?"

"That's the essence of the story."

"Aren't there specific times, places, events and people?"

"Whatever happened, the root cause was this -- the difference."

"Not this. You don't remember anything."

"I remember."

"You haven't even opened the guitar I gave you. You kept saying that you care." Deng Yi raised his voice.The waiter brought the food at this time.It's a plate of crab meat.

"You can eat." Deng Yi said to give up and stood up.

"If you leave like this, I will make you regret it." Zhong Xian said.

Deng Yi looked at him suspiciously. "You threatened me?"

"You forced me."

"I forced it? Did I force the idea of ​​two sides of the moon on you?"

"Yes. You came to provoke me."

"There are too many people who provoke you." Deng Yi smiled contemptuously.

"Yes. Exactly."

"The difference between me and them may be that I didn't really have sex with you."

"That's right. It seems that you know everything." Zhong Xian was desperate.They stared at each other for several seconds.Bell still persisted. "I will do what I say, I belong to you, but you don't need to respond. I just ask you, just give me 1 minute."

"What are you doing for a minute?"

Zhong Xian thought about it for a long time and had to shake his head. "I don't know. Let me get it once. Even if I lose it forever."

"Is it going to bed?"

Bell shook his head. "Yeah, there's no need for that." He covered his eyes with his hands to prevent the tears from being seen by the other party.The shadows of many people flew through his mind - Mr. Gao, Fu Po, Zhao Qi, Yang Shanshan, Dake, and all the people who were not clear to him, forgotten or not. "I know...it's too late."

"Then what do you want for a minute?"

"One time...one minute is enough, and my life will have no regrets."

"There is no lack of shock... After that, are you planning to continue jumping off the building? Threate me with this?"

"Will not."

Deng Yi turned the disc to transfer the crab roe to Zhong Xian, and the waiter brought up other dishes again.Deng Yi stood up and seemed to be planning to leave.Zhong Xian didn't say anything anymore, just looked at him with his eyes.His heart was overwhelmed with despair.

Deng Yi walked to the door of the private room and stopped, turning his back to Zhong Xian and said. "Why are you doing it this way—too much force is counterproductive."

Bell nodded. "I know."

"You should be a master of flirting. What about your routine?"

"With your status, you will meet many masters who are much better than me in your life. But I don't know how many opportunities you have to see the true face of a person. Maybe after I give up completely, I will have a way to get you gone."

Deng Yi turned around and walked back, sitting on the chair next to Zhong Xian. "Eat it. These dishes are great, and it would be a crime not to eat one." He picked up his chopsticks.

first kiss

118

Happiness is so simple.

What Zhong Xian knew about happiness was when he was a toddler, one night before he was ten years old, in a house of twenty square meters, his father played the violin, and his mother bathed him while singing. Just sitting quietly in the bucket between his parents, he could see them both at the same time.It was the only night in memory that the three of them existed at the same time.He felt that the world was so complete that he didn't want to wake up completely.

After so many years, the feeling of completeness came suddenly again.

Deng Yi put a piece of crab roe on the plate in front of Zhong Xian, and another piece of foie gras.

"Will you be full just by staring at me? Eat quickly."

"It's hard to imagine that you are a prince, and you will take care of others? Or is it just me?"

"I'm more educated than you. I take care of you because you're mentally handicapped. You don't even know how delicious it is. This foie gras was airlifted from Iceland. It tastes best when it's out of the fire for 10 minutes. You have to share it." Know what time to do. Eat!"

"You know I'm only interested in one thing right now. Can I eat you?"

"Dirty embryos."

"Why don't you feed me?"

"...I'll choke you to death, can you do it? I didn't leave, so you just push your feet."

"Anyway, we will do more disgusting things sooner or later." Seeing Deng Yi getting annoyed, Zhong Xian picked up his chopsticks, "I'll eat. Save yourself, don't get angry."

"You're lucky today. The second brother paid a high price to transport it here to entertain his friends. He went to Hangzhou temporarily today. Only you have the chance to eat."

"A simple meal is so extravagant, and you said that your father won't spend a penny on you. It's all fake."

"I don't have the mood to tell lies every day like you. I haven't had a luxury. My father is very strict with me, but my elder brothers are not. Today I have the honor of my second elder brother. If you have a pair of parents who are proficient in Chinese culture and methodology, You know being forced to be a certain type of person