Lost Dreams

Yi Hai died of illness the second year after he went to the United States with Manqing, and his body was transported back to Shanghai for burial.Before that, he did not continue with the teacher who taught, but the teacher gave up.Now Man Qing understands why Yi Hai said to see if the teacher will persist in loving him - he has always been unconfident and sees it thoroughly.So he and Man Qing depended on each other, depended on each other in a way completely different from love, and accompanied each other until they died.Man Qing was completely alone after his death.

Two months after Guanlin and Junzhu got married, they went to the United States together. Man Qing was later than them. The American shop was fully handled by Man Qing, and she spent more time in Shanghai.Before she left, she wanted to meet Ruan Yu, but in the end she gave up, thinking that she shouldn't bother her anymore, so she just asked someone to wrap a big red envelope and send a word of blessing.There are two houses in the United States, on the company's North Road and South Road. Guanlin and his wife chose the North Road, and Manqing went directly to the South Road.She seemed to be no longer interested in all love, and she didn't bother Yunzhu when she lived with Yi Hai, and she never came to the door except for important things, and they both expressed their understanding.

After Yi Hai's death, Man Qing raised a cat with light blue eyes and gray hair. She still missed the cat on the way back to Shanghai.The cat has no name, so she dare not choose it. When calling it, she only calls it "cat". She would rather wait for the cat to die and not be able to name it, so that she can remember that she died a cat when she recalled it. Rather than beings with names and feelings, it's sad.

Ruan Yu never thought that she would see her again after Manqing left. Except for the occasional dream, she never missed her in her spare time, so she told herself that she had completely let go.But when she saw Manqing in the fabric shop, her heart still trembled, and she almost couldn't help crying. After three or four years, she got married and had children in Shanghai without Manqing.

At the moment when she saw Man Qing, the past replayed before her eyes like a revolving lantern, and she thought she was going to die at that moment.Shocked by the sweetness and anger of the past, she couldn't catch her breath at once. She held back for a long time before she said slowly, "Long time no see." Manqing replied in the same way.She couldn't tell what tone Man Qing said.She wanted to talk to Manqing, but she had no excuses. The question "Are you free?" got into her throat, but she couldn't say it.She is fragile at this moment. In the past few years, she thought she had completely forgotten Man Qing, but in fact it was still a small thorn in her heart. Organ, when I think of it occasionally, I won't be sad to sad, just a little bit depressed.Man Qing's own existence is the controller of the organization.

"Would you like to sit down?"

In the end, it was Manqing who sent out the invitation and made an appointment at the coffee shop—it happened to be the one where Ruan Yu told her that she was going to get married.They talked a lot, about Yi Hai, about the cats they raised, about Yun Zhu and Guan Lin, and also mentioned Guan Liang—no one thought that such a playboy would be the first son of the Zhao family.Ruan Yu mentioned that Guanliang was anxious like a three-year-old child when he was waiting to give birth in the hospital. He suffered from insanity and was locked up at home. It is not clear whether it is true or false.

In the end, Ruan Yu's family was mentioned. She and Chen Liqing lived happily ever after, and they were the envy of half of the neighbors.A pair of sons and daughters were born, both of whom were only one year old.The Yi family seemed to be in decline, and Zhao Manqing always seemed to be independent from the family, and no one dared to raise any objections.Ruan Yu was quite envious when she mentioned this. Although she and Chen Liqing had a separate residence, she still had to worry about family affairs, especially the sister-in-law who didn't get along well, which always bothered her.

They spent the whole afternoon chatting in the cafe until Guanliang sent someone to find Manqing and sent a message of urging.Ruan Yu felt a change in her heart when Man Qing left—the little thorn was gradually melting, and she began to feel relaxed, until Man Qing's back completely disappeared before her eyes, she already felt that she was beyond time and love , let go of everything, and became a complete herself.

She turned and left, returning to her home.

Man Qing arrived at the venue just as the ceremony was about to begin, and the red couplets and posts were all over the hall, which made her dazzled.Guanliang stood in the center, hugging his son and smiling beamingly. At the same time, he wanted to greet Manqing, blame her for coming too late, and asked for fine wine to make amends. Manqing naturally agreed with a smile.While drinking, she glanced at the crowd below, and seemed to see the shadow of Lin Ziqing, dressed in rags, flashed by, and soon disappeared. She didn't want to imagine Lin Ziqing's mood.

She stayed in Shanghai for a week in total, contacted Yi's family a little bit, and set aside some living expenses at the same time.When Mrs. Yi saw her, she didn't say a word, she held her cane tightly with a straight face, and let the other children thank Manqing.Manqing thought that Mrs. Yi still didn't want to see her after all, even though she had never mentioned it for so many years.Mrs. Yi may be the only person in the Yi family who knows her relationship with Yi Hai, so she never scolds her behind her back, but she never talks about liking her. After all, Yi Hai was restrained by her. The teacher may be because of her And a broken section.

She deserves to be hated.

Man Qing received a cheongsam from a tailor shop before returning to the United States. The pink and white cherry blossom cases are the most beautiful.She folded it well, put it in a box, and took it home to America.The cat squatted at the door waiting for her. Seeing her return, the cat meowed and stopped making any noise, and followed her around the room silently.Man Qing heard the sound of her high heels, which was deafening in the empty room.Maids always like to be lazy, and they are probably falling asleep at the moment.She carried the suitcase and walked back to her room, took out the cheongsam and hung it up, sat on the bed and admired it silently, with the cat squatting at her feet.

She thought a lot at that moment, the most she thought of was when she was 30 years old, when the guns from the Japanese army blasted away her brothel and half of Junzhu's heart.She stayed away from love completely at the age of 30, and even the ability of her lover was wiped out in the cannon fire.Ruan Yu married someone who loved her that year, but both she and Yi Hai lost their love at the same time. Many happy events lingered around her that year, but none of them belonged to her.

She also thought of Junzhu, who had always loved her in a way that was too humble, and never even confessed to her.Recalling her feelings at this time, she always thought that if she said it, it might be different—at least she would not trap herself in such a relationship for nothing.Even if you understand everything, you have to give yourself a step down, and you have to lie to yourself that Yunzhu didn't respond because she didn't know her love.After all, this is because of timidity.The last words she said to Chu Yao were all out of revenge, but Chu Yao lost her life.If she told Chu Yao Junzhu's thoughts frankly, she might not have come to this point.

Thinking of Yi Hai, who has been married for several years and has never even kissed, but he has become friends anyway.She never thought about whether Yi Hai loved her or not, thinking it was meaningless.She was also curious about the final reason why Yi Hai broke up with the teacher, but Yi Hai always kept it from her.The only tear she shed in these years was because of Yi Hai's death.

In the end, I still thought of Ruan Yu. When I saw this cheongsam, I remembered the first time I met Ruan Yu.At that time, we were both young, full of passion, willing to love and to be loved.She thought of many different endings at that moment, and she asked herself, if she hadn't chosen to study in the UK, would she have stopped loving Ruan Yu?Although at that time she kept telling herself that she was in love with Jun Zhu, it didn't mean that her love for Ruan Yu wouldn't stop this feeling, she chose to give up.She also thought about how much less harm would be done to Ruan Yu if she rejected Ruan Yu when Ruan Yu said she wanted to be her mistress?She couldn't measure it.She thought again, if she had confessed her love for Ruan Yu on the day Ruan Yu told her her wedding date, would it be different now?She had so many thoughts about what-ifs that might change her life—or maybe not.

She may be doomed to be alone.

When Manqing was 60 years old, she was still alone.That day she was lying on the wooden chair facing the setting sun, and the cat slept beside her, stopping breathing and closing her eyes together.In the last minute of her life, she dreamed of her own birth, dreaming that white cherry blossoms were printed on pink cloth, she dreamed that she got out of her mother's womb, put herself into a ready-made cheongsam, and the pink gradually deepened , and finally turned into a blinding black ink that fell into the water.The ink dots gradually dispersed, and Man Qing felt her own fall. The wish she made at the last second was to write the name of the cat on her obituary.