jealous tail

I'm packing things at home, I want to draw a clean line from Jin Yeyu, and say goodbye to everything here, I don't dare to spoil myself like this, I let Du Tingwei protect me to this point, how can he trample on Du Tingwei's efforts.

I sent a letter of resignation to the hotel. I definitely can't do this job. Instead of waiting for someone to fire me, it's better to be happy myself and save my face.

I don't want to say farewell to Jin Yeyu positively, I'm so mean for thinking about this before, he doesn't need my farewell.

It's better for us to leave without saying goodbye, since we've come to this point anyway, it's no different from tearing our faces apart, meeting each other will hurt our muscles and bones.

I have nothing to take away, only a few clothes, and I will either burn or throw away everything related to Jinyeyu, anyway, he probably doesn't want to see my things, there will always be a new owner here, rather than waiting for him to throw away , it is better to handle it yourself.

I tossed all afternoon, but I didn't even fill a small box. I went into my original bedroom for the last time. I wanted to live here these days, but I was always afraid that I would suffer from insomnia here and keep watching The seat next to the piano, I can't help but open the window and look down, I will pick up a piece of paper and start folding something, so I sleep on the sofa in the living room.

The dust inside is very heavy, I have never cleaned it, and I will not go in to clean it if Jinyeyu is not here. I just want to remind myself that there is no one here, so there is no need to create false appearances, and don’t expect anything. People here can’t come back. Those peaceful and stable times will never come back.

Now even I have to leave, I always feel sorry for these steel and concrete, obviously I loved them too.

I cleaned up all the debris on the lower bunk bed, regardless of the dust on it, and lay on it directly, with the bed board resting on my head, I started to turn on the new mobile phone without a SIM card, and played the song "Happy Castle in the Heart of Small Candle" by Du Tingwei ".

I found all Bach's pieces before, and listened to them one by one. I listened to them in the car in the morning, at lunch, and at night while doing laundry, and finally found that piece.

When I go to sleep at night, I will play it on a loop, but it is not a lullaby. I usually wake up the more I listen to it. Sometimes I hear the morning from the night, and the sun shines on the floor. I thought it was the moon.

I lay on that bed for three hours, and when it got dark, I got up. When I got up, the bed board was wet.

When I got up, I accidentally dropped my phone. The blanket had already been withdrawn to the living room. The phone slammed down with a bang, and a little paint was scraped off the frame visible to the naked eye. I got down to pick it up, and found the suffering machine. But he turned his head and saw a box half a meter wide and long at the bottom of the bed.

I haven't seen it before, it's not mine, and this house doesn't belong to Jinyeyu, so it's only Du Tingwei's.

A little happy, but also a little panicked, I climbed in and pulled the box out. My knees were covered in ashes. It was a retro-colored wooden box, wrapped in dark green leather on all sides, and a copper-colored combination lock hung in the center.

I lost Jin Yeyu's birthday, I can't open it, I don't worry, it's not his stuff, I want to take it away, I can't open Du Tingwei's stuff here, I'm like myself who was dazzled by jealousy at that time, don't want to Check out anything related to Du Tingwei on Jinyeyu's site.

Take it away, I thought, I have to take it away, not to the golden leaf elm, nor to the golden leaf elm's trash can, I have to take it away.

It's not that I'm greedy, it's that I'm protecting.

I picked up the box, expecting it to be heavy, but it was surprisingly light, mostly the weight of the box itself.

I walked to the door and saw the black violin hanging on the wall. I glanced at it, pulled it into my arms without thinking, and then closed the door and went out.

Just treat me as a thief, and I will steal, what can you do.

After all the calculations, I ended up packing only three things in my suitcase, the graffiti short sleeves that Du Tingwei drew for me, the small pot that Du Tingwei gave me to cook milk for only one person, and Du Tingwei’s three-piece bed set.

Except for the clothes I was wearing, I didn't even take any extra underwear, because I had survived on Jinyeyu's territory.

I put 5 yuan in cash on the table, and settled my rent and food and drink with him. It was only a little more. After locking the door, I threw the key into the trash can.

The feeling of paying off the debts is great, and it is even more satisfying than paying off the usury.

It was getting dark outside. I was holding the suitcase in one hand and holding the small wooden box in the other. I almost fell when I came out. I walked through the main entrance and took the subway, but I didn’t know where I was going. Then I got off at a random stop. car.

Someone looked at me on the road, and I felt guilty, so I went to a nearby convenience store to buy a mask and put it on. After walking, I finally saw a small hotel. It was very dilapidated and old, but it looked cheap. After asking the price, I I rented there for a week, planning to find a job and rent a house this week.

Eighty one day, 70 more than five days, so I rented 490 for a week, which is okay.

The hotel is pretty dilapidated, the sheets are washed to the point of yellowing, a broken TV has only three channels, and a corner of the window on the balcony is broken.

It's not good, and it's even worse if it blows from the south.

The room is only ten square meters in total, with all the furniture, a bed, a sofa for one person, and an old-fashioned wooden cabinet with an enlarged buttocks table TV.

Somehow, the shower in the bathroom is slightly above the toilet. I wonder if I have to squat on the toilet to take a shower.

The sound insulation effect is also a bit poor. I know how many episodes of Zhen Huan's story next door. Huan Huan is long and Huan Huan is short. You let Huan Huan give birth to your cub. It's useless. Let Huan Huan love for nothing. is you.

There is no water heater in the room, even if there is, I dare not use it. Who knows what has been boiled. When I was working in the hotel, I have never seen underwear boiled again, and I don’t know if it is clean or not.

I was a little bit sad, but I had no choice. In order to fall asleep at night, I just took out all Du Tingwei’s sheets, quilt covers, pillowcases and pillowcases and replaced them. I have wronged you, and I will definitely confess to you after I earn a lot of money. I comfort them.

After the bed was made, I rolled on it, but the single bed was covered with a 1.8-meter sheet. I had to fold it twice to avoid getting the floor dirty, but it was warmer when I slept.

Living in a place that sucks, not even a college dorm, but I feel so happy, like I can start all over again.

After lying down enough, I'm going to go out and buy some toiletries. I can't have nothing, ah, I have to buy earplugs.

I went downstairs, and when I went out, I saw a man and a woman walking shoulder to shoulder into the room on the left of me. My face turned green at the time. Is there still sleep tonight, can't you find a more upscale place for an appointment?Forget it, maybe true love doesn't care about circumstances.

There is no big supermarket nearby, so I went into a department store. It must have been a long time ago, and the words on the sign were all gone. I first bought a water heater, which is the kind that heats up quickly and can be inserted into the water to boil the water. , easy to take away, and cheap.

Then I bought a footbath, and I may have to travel a lot to find a job during the day. It’s impossible not to soak my feet. I have to feel sorry for myself.

Then I bought toiletries, Chinese tooth whitening, Dabao SOD honey.

The last thing is the heavy one, instant noodle rice bowl, a box of instant noodles and ham, five pairs of underwear for 30 yuan, a white short-sleeved pair for 28 yuan and 51 pairs of pure black jeans.

I bought three hundred things in the store, and when I left, I felt like a millionaire.

Back at the small hotel, the neighbors really started to move, but my mind was as calm as water, and I didn’t respond at all. I called her too much.

I stepped on the toilet seat with one leg and managed to take a shower. The water was so cold that I shivered and got under the covers after washing.

Wrapping myself tightly with a quilt, curling up on the white sheets, smelling the fragrance of the pillow towel, I felt so comfortable, poor and dilapidated, but I felt unprecedentedly relaxed, like getting rid of some bad fate.

I turned on the phone and played the music with the earphones on, and finally overwhelmed the screaming from the neighbor on the left and the theme song of Liu Huan from the neighbor on the right, and I couldn't help but think of Du Tingwei again.

Where is he?Are you still in China?Are you still in this city?Did he see the ugly appearance of me and Jin Yeyu tearing our faces apart?Is he kidding me?Does he think I deserve it?It's a pity that he probably doesn't have any interest in doing these things. In the hospital, he just took away his own things, and he didn't even want to see me. Last time he was blocked by reporters, he just asked Chen Jie to help me. come forward.

The meaning is obvious, just pulling me out of the morality of the past, I will soften my heart to Jin Yeyu, he loved me so deeply, he couldn't bear to see me suffer, he just didn't want to get involved, so he decided to completely disappear with me .

I understand all this, and I also know that Du Ting is slightly hurt, and I have no right to covet him like a spare tire, miss him, and fantasize that he will come back.

It’s just that I still think of him shamelessly at a certain moment, and it’s all about him in my dreams, but he still refuses to turn around to look at me, wearing that black coat, and walking away under the gloomy sky without looking back.

Sometimes I feel lucky that he is not with this bad guy like me, and sometimes I regret it, always thinking, on that rainy and cold night, I wish I could hold him at the end and pray that he would stay .

It would be great if I could see clearly my heart that has already betrayed but didn't know it earlier.

But it was too late, the rain had stopped, and winter was coming again, so I had no choice but to act as if.

There was a cold wind at night, and the temperature dropped sharply. I hid in this house, clutched the quilt tightly, and cried silently.

I clearly realized that the Du Tingwei I will see in the future can only appear in that pale memory.