23 days before Christmas

Liu Yiming turned off his phone and withdrew from his memories.

He didn't sleep all night.

Looking back and forth at the photo of him and Lin Zhixi, as well as the screenshots of the chat history.

feeling terrible.

For the first time in 18 years, I felt this way.

Of course Lin Zhixi rejected his friend request.The day before, the two were still following each other on a certain karaoke software, and a certain game was still a gay relationship that was deceitful - when they woke up the next day, the only remaining relationship between the two was also blocked.

Lin Zhixi blocked and deleted everything about him!

As for being so cruel?

Can't be friends?

His roommates had left a few times, he turned over on the bed a few times, then got up to wash up.Today, there is no Lin Zhixi's good morning, and...the first time in a long time to have breakfast alone.

Eat a shitty breakfast!

He hesitated at the entrance of the cafeteria for half a minute, but still didn't go in, turned around and walked towards the teaching building.

Today, there was no Lin Zhixi who smiled and said to him: "Listen to the class carefully. See you at noon."

Yesterday at least this sentence was still there, although the tone of voice was different from usual... But today...

Liu Yiming only felt a sore nose and a sinking heart, and the familiar uncomfortable feeling surged up again, so he shook his head and listened to the class carefully.

How could he listen to the class.

Lin Zhixi Lin Zhixi Lin Zhixi is all over my mind all day, it's only been three months, why can't I let it go?

When he was in class this afternoon, he was walking on the road as if he had lost his soul. He raised his eyes inadvertently, and saw Lin Zhixi's sky blue schoolbag and that dark green cotton coat from a distance.Liu Yiming trotted over and found that he was surrounded by his classmates.

He wanted to pounce on him, hug him tightly, rub his head on his shoulder, like before.

But he can't.

He stopped three meters away from him.

My heart seemed to be hollowed out, spreading out the sour taste.

After all, December has already entered winter, he walked in the cold wind, feeling powerless swept his whole body, he stopped at the gate of the school history museum, here is also him and Lin Zhixi... Forget it, no matter how happy it is, it is the past It's useless to think about it, I can't come back.

He suddenly remembered that he might be able to get in touch with Lin Zhixi by sending a text message. It was a cheap hand or a cheap crime: "Let's have dinner together tonight."

Liu Yiming sat directly on the ground at the side of the school history hall, with his back against the wall, and he shivered when the wind blew over.

Lin Zhixi replied quickly: "What's the point?"

"I've had a hard time these two days, and I just want to see you."

"We have broken up."

"I miss you so much."

"I said we grit our teeth and get through it."

"I was on the other side of the bridge this afternoon. When I saw you, if it wasn't for your classmate, I would have rushed to hug you."

Lin Zhixi did not reply.

Liu Yiming was not reconciled: "Why? I don't think there is any problem between us that cannot be resolved."

"The problems between us have never been resolved."

"I want to see you, let's meet again."

Almost 10 minutes passed, but Lin Zhixi did not reply.

Liu Yiming glanced at the time, it was 46:[-], and if there was no reply by [-] o'clock, he would go back.

It was cold on the ground and the wind was cold. Liu Yiming wrapped his coat tightly and curled up in a ball.It was six o'clock in the winter and it was almost seven o'clock. At this time, a cloud of ink had already dispersed in the sky, and the night began to be indiscriminately colored.

"Come out." Lin Zhixi seemed to deliberate for a long time before making a decision.

The bitterness and bitterness in Liu Yiming's heart began to subside a little, and he quickly replied: "I'm at the school history museum."

At one minute past seven, Lin Zhixi appeared.

He obviously hasn't seen each other for a day, why does he feel like he hasn't seen each other for a long time.

Liu Yiming's tears rolled in his eyes, he really wanted to jump up and hug Lin Zhixi, but...

But he dared not.

Lin Zhixi looked at Liu Yiming who was sitting on the ground and said nothing.

Liu Yiming wiped away the tears seeping from the corner of his eyes, but did not speak.

"Have you eaten yet?" Liu Yiming asked, it was clear that Lin Zhixi was the one who spoke first.

"I do not want to eat."

Liu Yiming sighed: "I can't eat it either. I didn't eat breakfast, so I just ate a few mouthfuls for lunch. I was thinking, if you want..."

"I don't want to." Lin Zhixi's voice was very cold, "Today I want to stop completely."

"Can we be friends?" Liu Yiming just felt cold, "I'm really uncomfortable, I can't handle it. I thought yesterday that I could let you go if I deleted all the contact information, but I just can't... ..I don't want to either..."

Lin Zhixi glanced at him and said in a low voice, "This matter can only be adjusted by you, I can't help you."

"You can help. We can be friends."

"No."

"why?"

Lin Zhixi turned her head away, her voice scattered in the cold wind: "I don't want to."

"Why are you like this..." Liu Yiming choked up, "I can't find anyone who misses you so well, I just want..."

"No."

Liu Yiming bit his lip slightly, picked up a ginkgo leaf that fell on the ground, and kept digging with his fingers, his voice trembling: "But... I don't think I can make it through."

"Just think of me as a scumbag."

"you are not!"

"I don't have feelings for you anymore!" Lin Zhixi turned around, "How many times do I have to say this, I really can't take it anymore."

Liu Yiming clenched his fists, lowered his eyes, and said, "Didn't we get along just a few days ago? Is the problem between us really so serious that we can't solve it? I don't think we...I still like you ,you......"

"I'll say it again, I'm really impatient, I don't have feelings for you anymore!" Lin Zhixi raised her voice, "It's impossible for us to be together again!"

Liu Yiming clenched his lips, his knuckles were pressed, and he cried, "Why?"

"My problem, I'm a scumbag."

Liu Yiming lowered his head, tore off the golden ginkgo leaves covering the ground, and shook his head gently: "You're not, you're not, you're not... shall we be friends?"

"I said no, I can't do it!"

"Why!"

Lin Zhixi seemed a little annoyed: "Don't ask! You just sent a text message saying that you almost rushed over when you saw me this afternoon. My heart softened all of a sudden. I wanted to get back together with you! But we didn't Yes, we are reunited now, and it will only be more painful in the future."

"Aren't we happy when we're together? Are you in pain?" Liu Yiming couldn't believe it.

"Unhappy." Lin Zhixi's voice fell on his heart like a boulder.

Liu Yiming was still holding two halves of ginkgo leaves in his hand, choking on these three words—how could he be unhappy?How can it be painful?

Lin Zhixi's eyes were full of mixed emotions, and she said, "We are not suitable. Don't make both of you unhappy."

"How could we not be suitable! You said that I am like another you in the world. I think you are the soul that suits me best in the world."

Lin Zhixi sneered and said, "Don't you think it's ridiculous to say these things now?"

"how come......"

"Just think of me as a scumbag."

Liu Yiming stood up and growled, "You are not!"

"I am! I don't like you anymore! I don't feel it anymore! You pester me like this, it will only make me sick!" Lin Zhixi was really annoyed, "I beg you, get out of my life!"

"You are really good at reducing my favor for you infinitely."

"I don't like you anymore, I'm just a scumbag."

"It was you who hurt me first, and this is retribution."

Is this person in front of you Lin Zhixi?That young man who is as gentle as the wind and as bright as the sun?

he......

Liu Yiming was stunned, seeing Lin Zhixi like this for the first time, the hole in his heart seemed to be pulled wider and wider by these words, and the uncomfortable feeling overflowed.

After saying that, Lin Zhixi turned around and left.

A nameless anger surged up in Liu Yiming's heart, and all the happy days in the past were shattered and vanished with the wind—the boy he put on top of his heart not far away didn't like him anymore and asked him to go away.

Liu Yiming rushed forward and punched Lin Zhixi in the back twice.

He grasped his strength, he was reluctant to use force.

He gets angry, he loses his mind.

But when he approached and smelled Lin Zhixi's body, his hot blood instantly cooled down, and most of his strength was taken away.

"Let's fight." Lin Zhixi stopped and turned to look at him.

The two are very close.This distance is the distance that they only had when they kissed in the past.

The corner of Lin Zhixi's mouth seemed to curl into a smile: "Slap in the face. It feels good after hitting."

Liu Yiming clenched his fists and bit his lips. He only felt that his limbs were restrained, torn, and pulled by an invisible force.

He looked at the face that moved his heart at the first sight, and his fist was only a few tens of centimeters away from it.

He still hit it.

One punch, two punches, three punches.

Of course he wouldn't use his strength.

This was the last time he touched his body.

Liu Yiming's last punch was very hard and hit the outer wall of the school history hall.

Some blood came out.

He couldn't feel the pain, he just felt uncomfortable and cold.

After walking a few steps, he turned his head, and Lin Zhixi was gone.

It's hard to fill that big hole in my heart.

Why are you hitting him?

Liu Yiming, you are sick.

He just wants to drive you away.

Wouldn't it be okay to have a decent relationship and break up?Do you have to make trouble like this?

Liu Yiming wrapped his coat tightly, like a wandering soul with nowhere to go, floating along the wind in this winter night.

Do you still like him?

Of course I still like him?

Then why did you hurt him?

You were sad before, but today you are still doing it?

Liu Yiming, you are that scumbag.

Liu Yiming thought of the past, indeed, he was the one who was sorry for Lin Zhixi.

He took out his mobile phone and sent a message to Lao Cheng: "I broke up with him completely."

"I beat him too."

Lao Cheng replied quickly: "I'm a mother."

"I don't know why I am like this."

"Aren't you just going to break up and that's it?"

Liu Yiming raised his head and saw the ink-stained night sky, stamped each letter with stiff fingers: "Say sorry to him for me."

Lao Cheng didn't reply for a long time.

Liu Yiming returned to the dormitory, as if nothing had happened, wiped off the blood on his fist with a tissue, quickly finished washing, went to bed, leaned on the pillow and stared at the phone screen in a daze.

I don't know how long I've been distracted like this, but Lao Cheng sent a message: "I talked to him."

"He said, this is a complete break."

"He thanked you for the punches."

"Don't think too much, life has to go on."

Liu Yiming put the phone aside, hid under the quilt, holding his breath, crying until his collar was covered with tears all over the pillow.

Not really, really not.