23 days before Christmas

Liu Yiming opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for almost 5 minutes. Looking at the time, he got up later than usual, but he just felt weak and didn't want to get up at all.

I don't know when I fell asleep last night, I just remember that I shed a lot of tears, and I couldn't sleep peacefully. The dream was full of Lin Zhixi, and the memories surged like a huge wave, and every frame fell on him. The knife in the heart.

He got out of bed, and his roommates had already washed up and were ready to go. Seeing that he didn't seem to be in a very good condition, he asked, "Are you feeling unwell?"

"Ah?" He replied casually, "It's a little bit. But it should be fine."

"It's fine, let's go first."

"Yeah." Liu Yiming went into the bathroom, saw himself in the mirror, and sneered.

What a haggard face, with swollen eyes, red bloodshot eyes all over the inside, dull and dull skin, acne appeared again at some point, hair like a chicken coop that was blown open, the decadent and frustrated male protagonist in the movie There is always a circle of stubble, and he has it now.He grinned hard, and he looked like a clown with a forced smile in the mirror.

No matter how uncomfortable it is, this day still has to go on.

Losing a relationship and breaking up is just a big deal.

Yeah, what a big deal.everything will be fine.

He brushed his teeth, washed his face, shaved the circle of stubble, and after applying it, his skin began to rejuvenate. His hair was still messed up no matter how much he blow-dried. Now the hair is more obedient.

Feeling uncomfortable and unable to eat breakfast, besides, there was less than 10 minutes to go to class, so Liu Yiming went straight to the classroom.

It was a professional class all day, and he didn't listen to a word.

In a daze, lying on the table in a daze all day long.

I couldn't even eat lunch, so I took a few mouthfuls of rice to fill my stomach.

Now he couldn't think of anyone to confide in, so he had to find Lao Cheng: "I'm so sad."

"what happened?"

"Why did he have to break up with me?"

"Aren't you aware of the problems between you?"

Liu Yiming thought about it for 5 minutes, but he scratched his head and couldn't figure out what problem was so serious that he wanted to break up. He could only reply: "I really don't know what is so serious. Also, what did he say? Don't feel it? I really don't understand."

"He said, he can't love you that much, and keep occupying you."

"I'd rather be occupied by him."

"I don't believe it. He said he didn't feel it, he didn't feel it, he said he didn't love it, he didn't like it, and he broke up so decisively. Did he really not have the slightest bit of discomfort and pain?"

After Liu Yiming uttered these words, his heart sank suddenly—what if Lin Zhixi really wouldn't feel uncomfortable and painful because of him?no, I can not.Liu Yiming believed in his intuition, Lin Zhixi wouldn't, even if he didn't like it now, but in the past...

"Love breakups are like this. It will be fine, and it will come out." Lao Cheng was also very helpless, "Why don't you find another one?"

"What are you looking for? I'm afraid I'll never meet someone as good as him again." Liu Yiming's heart tightened, "It's the first time in 18 years that I've met someone who suits me so well."

Lao Cheng replied after 3 minutes: "You have to learn to adjust yourself, find something to do for yourself, to divert your attention, don't think about him all day, the more you think about it, the more uncomfortable you are. I can't help you, I can only listen to you Talk it out. I'll give you my phone number, and if you're really uncomfortable, call me."

"Thank you." Liu Yiming sighed, "It turns out that this is what it feels like to be broken in love. I didn't expect it to be so uncomfortable."

"Well. I have something to do now, let's talk tonight."

Liu Yiming rubbed his slightly painful temple: "Okay."

Liu Yiming wanted to scold himself a thousand times or ten thousand times. No amount of ugly words or words could express his contempt for this IQ.Lin Zhixi had promised to break up on Christmas, and it was still so long before Christmas, why not be together, what if Lin Zhixi really changed his mind in the past [-] days?just in case......

Suddenly another voice popped up in my head——Liu Yiming, can you stop being so humble? You have been so proud and arrogant for 18 years, why did you throw yourself away for him!

In fact, falling in love is like this. When two people are together, they have to abandon some parts of their original personality that are not suitable for each other, so that they can go for a long time. How did Lin Zhixi treat you, and how did you treat others... ...

Several voices were fighting in his mind, and Liu Yiming felt a tearing pain in his heart. He squatted on the stairs and closed his eyes—that face resurfaced.

This is his calamity.

Liu Yiming got up slowly and looked at the time. It was 06:30 and he had no appetite at all.

Just like noon, I ate something casually in the cafeteria. It was not yet seven o'clock, and the winter night always came earlier. When I left the cafeteria, Liu Yiming looked at the moon in the sky for a long time, feeling unspeakably uncomfortable.

Three months ago, he wanted to watch the moon with him, but it was difficult for him to catch the waning moon, but today...the jade plate is in the sky, shining brightly.

He wanted to send him a text message, but he was afraid that Lin Zhixi would get annoyed and block him directly.

Anyway, this is the only way Liu Yiming can contact Lin Zhixi.

I don't want to go back to my bedroom.

Liu Yiming wrapped his down jacket tightly, and walked out of the school along the road he and Lin Zhixi walked countless times.

The supermarket in the school didn't sell beer, so Liu Yiming bought three cans in a small shop outside the school.

Just suddenly want to drink.

Maybe I'll sleep better tonight after drinking.

It should be easier to sleep, and I won't dream of him again.

Liu Yiming opened one can after thinking about it, and threw the other two cans directly into his bag.

The icy and irritating liquid entered his throat. He seldom drank alcohol and felt more and more uncomfortable. His hands and feet were easy to get cold in winter, but Lin Zhixi always warmed his hands when the temperature dropped in November.. ....

He can really think of anything.

Simply click on a certain singing app, click on Lin Zhixi's interface, and there are only three songs released before, so it keeps looping.

Lin Zhixi sings really well, both in pronunciation and articulation.The familiar voice lingered in his ears, and when his nose was sore, tears rolled in his eyes.He suddenly remembered that Lin Zhixi hugged him and whispered love words in his ear...

After eating most of the can, Liu Yiming bit his lip and looked up to see that he had already walked to the back of the library.

Going up the long stairs behind the library is the rooftop - when he first came to this school to familiarize himself with the environment, he thought the design was quite weird when he saw it. Later, when he passed by one day, Lin Zhixi said that this is also a holy place for couples to have a tryst.

Well, he and Lin Zhixi also had a tryst here.

Liu Yiming thought for a while, then stepped up the steps.

He sat down on a certain high step, raised his head and drank the first can, all he could see was the ink-drenched night, and the full moon shone coldly.

"The moonlight is beautiful tonight."

But no one watched with me.

Liu Yiming twisted the beer can out of shape, and punched him on the stone steps—you said you were sick, why did you hit him?If he hurts you, won't it hurt?

He took out his mobile phone and started calling Lin Zhixi.

One, two, three, four... Fifteen in a row, Lin Zhixi didn't answer, and he didn't get through to any of them.

When the second can was finished, he began to feel hot all over, the scene in front of him seemed to be blurred and overlapped, his head was so heavy, his consciousness was wandering, and he couldn't hold back anymore and cried a lot.Lie Liebei blows, it seems that it is not blowing on the body, but blowing on the heart.

He started texting him, I don't want to bother you, but who will save me?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you, I'm really, oh, I'm sorry."

"The moonlight is so beautiful tonight. I'll wait for you to watch the moon on the library roof."

"You won't come, but why?"

"You said you would wait for me, why didn't you want me?"

"I'm so cold."

"Why? Can you explain clearly."

Lin Zhixi didn't reply at all, probably because she was really annoyed and blocked him.

Is it necessary to break up clean after breaking up?

Does it have to be so clean?

Liu Yiming dialed the phone number that Lao Cheng had left for him, crying uncontrollably: "He won't answer my call."

The other person seemed to think about it for a while before saying, "Why are you calling him?"

"That's right, why should I call him?" Liu Yiming's voice trembled, "The moon is full tonight. I want to ask him to come out and look at the moon."

"Eh..." Lao Cheng paused, and said, "You are outside now? Isn't the temperature cooling down today? Are you alone? What are you doing outside? Looking at the moon?"

Liu Yiming opened the third can, wiped away tears: "I, I don't know...I don't want to go back, annoying..."

"you've been drinking?"

"how do you know?"

"Listen to your tone." Lao Cheng raised his voice, "Did you drink outside alone? You still looked at the moon with the cold wind blowing? What are you doing!"

"I, I don't know. It's just uncomfortable. Will I feel better after drinking alcohol? Will I sleep a little bit more tonight and won't dream about him?"

Old Cheng sighed: "Oh, I don't know either. You'd better go back to the dormitory quickly, don't catch a cold."

"He, why is he so ruthless?" Liu Yiming said vaguely, picked up the last can and gulped it down, the liquid he hated so much was rushing down his throat at such a fast speed He coughed a few times because of the choking, and his face flushed red.

"Go back to the dormitory!" Old Cheng raised his voice again, "It will pass, don't blame yourself for it. He won't feel sorry for you if you catch a cold, have a fever, or get sick!"

"Really?" He covered his hot cheeks with cold hands, tears streaming down his face.

"The current him won't do it anymore." Old Cheng said in a deep voice.

"Okay. I, oh, it's so cold. I'm sorry to bother you." Liu Yiming stood up and looked at the bright moon hanging high, sneered, and dropped the last drop of beer into his mouth.

He stared at the full moon, and slowly walked down the stone steps, seeing the chaos in front of him, he almost fell down.

On the way back, Lin Zhixi was always there.

Liu Yiming shook his head, feeling uncomfortable all over, with hot cheeks and tightness in his chest, as if he might fall to the ground at any moment.

Why can't I wake up?