find i love you

The prenatal inspection on Tuesday morning is a routine item, and the inspection on Thursday afternoon will involve more private|secret parts.

Bao Xiaoxiao lay peacefully on the examination bed, and Bai Xuanhai put on his gloves calmly. Both of them remained calm, as before, one was a doctor and the other was a patient, and their identities had not changed.

After the inspection, Bai Xuanhai took off his gloves and mask, sat back at the table, and took a brush to write down all the inspection data, and handed it to Yu Hui along with the printed B-ultrasound images, and told Yu Hui all kinds of things that should be paid attention to in the late pregnancy as usual. matters.

With the help of Yu Hui, the well-dressed Bao Xiaoxiao was not in a hurry to leave, and sat down on the sofa facing the desk, raised her head and said to Yu Hui: "Old Yu, I want to have a private chat with Doctor Bai, you go out and wait for me, okay?" ?”

Yu Hui looked at Bao Xiaoxiao uneasily, then shifted his gaze to Bai Xuanhai, Bai Xuanhai nodded with a smile and signaled to Yu Hui not to worry, Yu Hui then left the examination room reluctantly with a worried expression, not forgetting to say: "Okay, then what, call me if you need anything!"

The door of the examination room closed slowly, and Bao Xiaoxiao stared at Bai Xuanhai for a long time. I don't know whether it was a psychological effect or he hadn't noticed before. His appearance was somewhat similar to Bai Xuanhai's. Totally different, probably from his other father.

The atmosphere between the two was strangely quiet, and there were thousands of words in the eyes they looked at each other, but they didn't know where to start.

"Bai..." After a long while, Bao Xiaoxiao, who had been contemplating for a long time, spoke first to break the silence, but he didn't know how to address the person in front of him. After a little thought, he decided to remain the same as before. "Doctor Bai, I never thought that you would be my... my biological father. To be honest, I never thought that I would meet the person who gave birth to me again. The world is so big and the population is so large. If I didn't deliberately Looking for it, the chances of meeting me are really slim! Besides, I was deliberately abandoned in the orphanage at the beginning. When I was young, I fantasized that my biological parents would come to me and recognize me. Later , When I grew up and became sensible, I realized how naive and ridiculous my thoughts were when I was a child. However, God made a big joke with me and asked you to meet me again. The day before yesterday, when I knew the truth, I was shocked and also I was at a loss. I even thought it was a dream. It was Yu Hui who was joking with me. It wasn’t true. It wasn’t until I calmed down that I realized that you are really my father, the one who gave birth to me. And I For you, it’s so strange, I don’t have the hatred or love I imagined, I just don’t know how to face you. I think I can’t accept you right away, it’s too unrealistic, after all, this is life, not a TV series It's not a novel either. I... I don't know what I'm trying to say, you... can you understand me? Maybe I didn't express myself clearly enough..."

Bai Xuanhai listened carefully to Bao Xiaoxiao's novel, kept a warm smile on his face, frowned his delicate eyebrows slightly, thought for a moment calmly, nodded his head as a response to the question, and then said slowly: "Xiao Xiao Xiao, I understand what you mean. All along, the reason why I asked Yu Hui to keep it secret is because I didn't intend to recognize you at all!"

Bai Xuanhai's words were astonishing, Bao Xiaoxiao was stunned, and asked in a murmur, "Why?"

"Xiao Xiao, my decision to return to China is not entirely due to the search for my own son, but a more profound reason is that the prospect of returning to China will benefit my career." Bai Xuanhai confessed frankly. "However, no matter whether I was abroad or returned to China, I never gave up looking for my child. 20 years ago, I went to the orphanage and wanted to take you back. The staff there told me that you are very young. You were adopted when you were born, and the family conditions of the couple who adopted you are very good. I just started working at that time, and I didn’t have much savings. I thought, since you were adopted by a well-meaning couple, and I’m single again, my child You should grow up in a sound family, not to mention, they are in good condition, I shouldn't disturb your life, after all, you are so lucky..."

"Lucky?" Bao Xiaoxiao smiled wryly, cutting off Bai Xuanhai's words. "Then, do you know my adoptive parents, what is their reason for adopting me? I don't think you can think of it. It's because the profound master told them that it can revitalize their business, and I, my horoscope and them They are very compatible. Because of this, they adopted me. Maybe you don’t know, my adoptive parents, yes, they treat me very well, I have no worries about food and clothing, and I can go to school, but they only treat me materially Well, mentally, they never treated me as their own son. In the third year I was in the Bao family, their business took a sharp turn for the worse. They thought it was my fault, so they sent me back to the orphanage. In this way, I lived in the orphanage for another two and a half years, until their business did not improve, and the master asked them to take me back, and then I returned to the Bao family. In their eyes, I was just doing business with them Helpful creatures. Why didn't you come to me? Why?"

Bai Xuanhai stared at Bao Xiaoxiao in surprise. He never thought that Bao Xiaoxiao would be in such a situation in Bao's house. He thought that his child had received the complete love of his parents and enjoyed a prosperous life. Unexpectedly, the real situation would be so unbearable? !

"I'm sorry! Child!" No matter how restrained Bai Xuanhai was, he couldn't help feeling emotional now, and closed his eyes in pain. "I really don't know, I don't know the inside story! If I knew...I...I once asked the staff of the orphanage who adopted you. The people in the orphanage said that you can only be adopted when there are enough adoptees. Tell relatives. I came back that year. Unfortunately, the orphanage was demolished and merged with two other small-scale orphanages to form a large orphanage. When I moved, I lost a lot of information... Your files are also missing Now, who has adopted you, and there is no way to find out! Xiaoxiao, I am telling you this, not to shirk responsibility. I never thought that I would be forgiven by you, because I can't forgive myself at all. From the time I was abandoned at the gate of the orphanage, I knew that the mistakes I made would never be forgiven in this life. I never expected that you would recognize me. For more than 30 years, I have never done my best as a father Responsibility, I gave birth to you but did not support you, so what qualifications do I have to be your father? My child, I regret abandoning you, I blame myself, I am sad, but nothing is done, things are hard to change. What I regret most is , I didn’t give you a name at the beginning, so that every time I think of you, I don’t know what to call you. It can only be, my child. If time goes back, maybe I will choose to abandon you, but, I I will definitely give you a good name! In this way, in the years to come, every night in the dead of night, when I miss you and miss you, at least I can still call your name. My child, I see that you have a lover who loves you by your side , I have a father-in-law and father-in-law who loves you, and a lovely child with activities. I am really happy for you. Therefore, I don’t want to disturb your happy life. I know that I can’t give you anything. Love is companionship and dedication. It's not invisible empty words. I think, once we recognize each other, all I can bring you is pain. This is not what I want to see."

Bai Xuanhai's heart-to-heart words were far beyond Bao Xiaoxiao's expectations. He thought that Bai Xuanhai should cry out about his misfortune and his hardships, so as to alleviate his guilt of abandoning his own child and win Bao Xiaoxiao's love. His sympathy and compassion.

Who would have thought that Bai Xuanhai was not like this.If Bai Xuanhai kept looking for various reasons to shirk his unrighteous act of abandoning his son, then Bao Xiaoxiao must think that he is an unkind and despicable villain who is not worthy of his worries and not worthy of being his father.

Bai Xuanhai's confession of self-condemnation made Bao Xiaoxiao feel extremely sympathetic towards him, he even put himself in Bai Xuanhai's shoes, if he was not in a difficult situation, who would abandon his own son?

Besides, he has already decided to leave this innocent little life behind. If conditions permit, who wouldn't want to raise the child himself?

It can be seen that he has something to hide.

Thinking of these, Bao Xiaoxiao couldn't help thinking of another question.

Pregnancy and childbirth are things that require the cooperation of two people, so who is his other father?This question also puzzled Yu Hui for a long time.

"I want to ask you, he... who is he? Where is he now?" Bao Xiaoxiao couldn't hide his curiosity, and asked in the end.

"He?" Bai Xuanhai was stunned, and then realized who Bao Xiaoxiao was referring to by "he". He lowered his head slowly, as if he had made a great determination, and looked up at Bao Xiaoxiao again, which was very meaningful. smiled. "He is...he is a classmate in the cram school. We met in the cram school during the summer vacation of the second year of high school. We are at the same table. He is very handsome, with good-looking features and a tall figure. In today's words, he is a standard Sunshine boy. He is very smart, good at math, but also very strange, he came to cram school for good grades in math, ha ha. I am not good at math, but good at biology, that’s it, I help him with biology, and he helps me Remedial math. Later, I fell in love with him. I actively pursued him, and it was me... We tasted the forbidden fruit, in the classroom. Sounds, isn't it exciting? Many times, we are in the classroom At that time, there were many people who pursued him, many boys and girls. I was very proud, and I was also very proud. Looking at it now, isn’t it stupid? After the winter vacation cram school, he disappeared, as if he immigrated with his family I went abroad. Soon I found out that I had you. Maybe it was because I was too busy with my studies, or maybe I was too thin at the time, and it didn’t matter much to you. When I found you, you were already more than four months old. I don’t I know where his home is, and I don’t know what class he is in his school. I’m scared, but also happy. Isn’t it contradictory? It’s too late, and I’m not in good health, so I can only keep you .My father, oh, your grandfather, divorced my father very early. They formed new families in different cities. Except for calling on time for living expenses, no one of them cared about me. It’s okay to be secretive The college entrance examination, fortunately, you are very small, and my belly is not big. After counting the months, the college entrance examination is approaching and my due date is approaching. I am really afraid that I will give birth to you in the examination room. Fortunately, it just hurts endlessly Three days. After the last exam on the last day, I almost walked out of the school with the help of the wall. I was in a small private clinic. You were not born until the next morning. When you were born, you were only a little over three catties, It’s as small as a newborn Zhonghua. I don’t have the ability to raise you. I have to go to school. Only by continuing to study can I change my destiny! So, I abandoned you at the gate of the orphanage, and watched the people in the orphanage take you I took it back, and I left. Later, I was admitted to a medical school, specializing in obstetrics. Because of my excellent grades, I was sent to study abroad by the government. I returned to China for two years, and I was admitted to a master's degree in a foreign medical school. , stayed abroad. Until two years ago, when I came back to China by chance, I never imagined that I would meet you."

Bai Xuanhai spoke calmly, as if he was telling someone else's emotional experience, without any change in tone or emotion, which made Bao Xiaoxiao very puzzled.

Bao Xiaoxiao couldn't imagine how difficult it would be for Bai Xuanhai to endure all kinds of discomforts during pregnancy but persist in his studies. He also couldn't imagine how helpless he was lying alone on a bed in a private clinic, tossing and turning with the labor pains. Witnessing with my own eyes how heavy my own son's footsteps were when he was taken away by people from the orphanage...

How heartbroken it must be to go through all this...

"Then... have you ever thought of going to find him? I mean, when conditions permit. You have not married and had children for so many years. Is it... because of me? Or because of him?" Bao Xiaoxiao felt that Bai Xuanhai It seemed that he never thought of finding that person again, and he wanted to know why.

"No. When I first found out that I was pregnant with you, I wanted to find him crazily. I didn't want to blame him, nor did I want him to be responsible. I just wanted to share this joy with him. A child is the crystallization of love, but, there are some things, I did it earlier. Maybe I was wrong, but I don't regret it. I don't regret falling in love with him, I don't regret having a baby with him, I don't regret giving birth to you. Now, there is no need to meet again. After many years, maybe he has forgotten me long ago, maybe I'm just his occasional memory, young and ignorant. As for getting married... having children..." Bai Xuanhai paused, looking at Bao Xiaoxiao with burning eyes. "Yes! Because of you, I no longer want to get married or have children. I have committed a sin that even God will not forgive. I chose to give up my child. How can I have a relationship with someone else after abandoning you? Get married and have another child? How should I face my new child? It’s like, I can’t face you now!”

The conversation ended here, and Bai Xuanhai and Bao Xiaoxiao fell into silence again. The two stared at each other silently, with tears in their eyes uncontrollably.

All that should be asked has been asked, and all that should be said has been said. There is no barrier between them except the heart wall.Just like the tacit consensus of the two, it is difficult for two people to develop more feelings based on the relationship between father and son in a short period of time, which is something no one can do.

Then, leave everything to time!

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Thanks a lot! ^_^