double struggle

City G is bright in winter, Chu Wendao is used to the weather in City M from morning to night, and when he comes out of the high-speed rail station, he has the illusion that he feels like a world away.

Under the bright sunshine, Chu Wendao finally returned home with his suitcase in the dust.Spring Festival couplets were pasted on both sides of the door, and he recognized at a glance that it was his father's handiwork.

Every year, the couplets at home during the Spring Festival are created by Chu’s father, with one stroke and one stroke strong and powerful, and where the ink is exhausted, Chu’s decisive and unrestrained spirit is unique.Father Chu is good at writing, and he has a lot of fame among relatives and friends.It's not that no one came to ask Father Chu's inscription at a high price, but they were often politely refused, claiming that it was only driven by hobbies, and there was a kind of scholarly ambition that was money like dung.

Chu Wendao often teased his father, he didn't bend his waist for money, he was obviously very lazy, and he refused if he could.Every time Chu Wendao said that, his father would punish him to wash the dishes.

He put the suitcase aside and reached for the doorbell.Behind the door came the sound of slippers kicking on the wooden tiles, and after a while, the door in front of me was opened from the inside to the outside.

"Mom." Seeing Chu's mother wearing an apron, Chu Wendao called out very sweetly, "Miss me?"

Chu's mother pinched Chu Wendao's face angrily: "Finally I'm back."

Chu Wendao pulled down Chu's mother's hand with a playful smile, hugged his own mother, and then put a mouth mark on his face.

Mother Chu pushed her son away and scolded with a smile, "No one is serious."

Chu Wendao pulled the suitcase and walked in. A budding peach blossom was planted in the big porcelain vase in the living room, and a few red envelopes were hung on the lower branches, which were very red and festive.As if attracted, he turned a corner on his way to the second floor, stopped under the peach tree, and looked around.

"Help me hang the Chinese knot and red envelope later, it's too high." Mother Chu ordered later.

"Oh." Chu Wendao agreed, pointing to this seemingly sturdy peach blossom and asked, "Why did you buy such a big tree this year? Is there a big promotion?"

"What are you talking about? Shanshan just knew someone, so she went to cut a tree and sent it over."

"Cousin is back?"

Chu Wendao was stunned. His cousin married a Yankee and immigrated to the United States after having a child.At first, Chen Shanshan planned to take her parents, but Chu Wendao's uncle and his wife refused, so Chen Shanshan had to go back and forth several times a year.

"This year she brought her child and her husband back, and it seems like she will stay for a month." Chu's mother went to the kitchen to have lunch, and said, "By the way, they will also come to have a reunion dinner on the first night of the first grade of junior high school, and it's been a long time since I saw you..."

Chu Wendao followed Mother Chu to help. The dishes were not long cooked and were still hot.

"It's not long. Didn't we meet again at the beginning of last year? But this time we stayed for such a long time, are we here for vacation?" He couldn't help feeling even more strange. He had never seen Chen Shanshan stay here for more than a week before.

"I heard from your father that you have something to do when you come back." Mother Chu tapped his arm holding the bowl with her chopsticks, "Have you washed your hands? You have too many things to do."

Chu Wendao had been starving for a long time. Regardless of Chu's mother's scolding, he took a bowl of hot soup to pad his stomach and then ran to wash his hands.

After more than half a year of eating in the school canteen and takeaway, he finally got his wish to taste Chu's mother's cooking skills, and he was deeply moved by every bite.Mother Chu's appetite was very small, and the dishes on the table were basically swept away by Chu Wendao.After realizing it, he felt that he seemed to be a bit full.

After Chu Wendao washed the dishes, he sat on the sofa and slumped for a while. He said he was going to digest his food, so he picked up the suitcase that was thrown aside and carried it to the bedroom on the second floor.

Pushing open the door, the bedroom had already been tidied up by Chu's mother, the bed was replaced with new ones, and it seemed that the fresh fragrance of laundry detergent could still be smelled.He went to draw the curtains, and the warm winter day slowly illuminated the square space.Leaning against the window frame, he stared at the beam of light shooting into the floor, and suddenly felt that he was also lazy, and he didn't want to move any more.

He stretched himself, went to open the suitcase, and took out the clothes inside one by one.

Opening the closet, Chu Wendao took out the few clothes that were on the side.It wasn't his thing, and it was bigger than his in terms of shoulder width.He threw his hands directly to the ground, and then hung the clothes in the suitcase back to the empty slot.After a lot of tossing, he covered the closet, and when he was about to walk back, he just kicked the clothes that he had thrown on the ground.

Chu Wendao lowered his head and looked down thoughtfully. After a long time, he bent down to pick them up, found a plastic bag and stuffed them in.He went downstairs with such a bag.

Mother Chu was reading in the living room when she heard the voice and couldn't help but look over.She noticed the bulging plastic bag in Chu Wendao's hand.

Chu Wendao explained: "I'm going to throw out the trash."

Mother Chu looked at her son for a while, then nodded and continued to return her attention to the text.

Chu Wendao went to the garbage collection downstairs, his fingers holding the plastic bag curled up unconsciously, and his heels seemed to be dragged by something, and he stopped moving forward.

The sanitation workers in the community pulled a cart over to dispose of the garbage. The old man carried the bags of garbage into the car and stared intently at Chu Wendao who was standing beside him.

"Do you still want?"

The old man's Mandarin is not standard, with a strong accent.This old man has been working here for many years, and Chu Wendao is responsible for all the garbage in this building.

Chu Wendao came back to his senses, and smiled unnaturally: "No more." He put the things in his hand into the cart himself, and walked back with his lips tightened.

When he was going out, Chu Wendao closed the door, but when he came back, the door was half closed.He opened the door and went in. Mother Chu was no longer in the living room, and she probably went back to her room.

Chu Wendao went to the bathroom and absently squeezed hand sanitizer on his palm.When the foam touched the skin, an inexplicable pain came from the palm.He opened it up to look, only to find that the skin on the palm of his right hand was inexplicably torn, it didn't bleed, it just hurt when he pulled it.

Chu Wendao sighed, washed his hands perfunctorily and went to find medicinal alcohol.

It's just that he didn't go home for half a year, and he forgot where he put some things, or they were there originally, but they were moved to other places by his parents.He turned over the place in his memory, but still couldn't find the medicine box.

"What are you looking for?"

Chu Wendao turned around and saw Chu's mother standing not far behind, with a different book in her hand.

"Mom, where did you put the medicine box?" He asked, "I accidentally scratched the skin just now."

Mother Chu put down the book helplessly, pushed Chu Wendao to get out of the way, and opened the glass cabinet above her head.Chu Wendao followed Chu's mother's movements, and the medicine box was obviously placed behind the glass, but he didn't pay attention at all.

"Mom, I'll do it myself." Seeing that Chu's mother wanted to disinfect him, Chu Wendao quickly smiled and shrank her hands.

They're in their thirties, and it's a bit embarrassing to make mother worry so much.

Mother Chu ignored him, pulled Chu Wendao to sit down, and opened her hands to him.

Chu Wendao stared at Chu's mother's hand for 2 minutes, and finally stretched out his right hand helplessly.Mother Chu took a cotton swab and dipped it in medicinal alcohol, and gently covered the tiny scar.

Ever since Chu Wendao became sensible, his mother never cared for him so carefully.From this angle, he can see the white hair on Chu's mother's ears very well. She is nearly sixty, and the years have quietly left indelible marks on the person he loves the most.

There is always a natural tacit understanding between mother and child, Chu Wendao felt that Chu's mother had discovered something.

"That bag of clothes belongs to that child Zhiyuan." Mother Chu asked while treating the wound.

Chu Wendao frowned, and the moment the alcohol touched the wound, it hurt him.It's just that this feeling was momentary, and soon he felt his palms were icy cold.

He didn't answer, and Mother Chu didn't continue to ask.

Chu Wendao watched his mother pack up the things, cover the medicine box, and prepare to put it back in place.It was also at this time that he suddenly said the words that had been suppressed for a long time, seemingly indifferently.

"Mom, I'm done with him."

From the day he called his parents to tell his parents that he would never go back to M City, these words seemed to imprison his soul and bind his limbs.He never thought that he could hide it from his parents. To be precise, maybe his smart parents had already guessed the truth at that time.

Just like when he was a child, he stole a dollar coin from home and ran to buy snacks. No matter how well he concealed it, he still failed to hide it from his parents in the end.They never accused him, they always only cared for him, and then quietly listened to his guilt.

There is no extra emotion in Chu's mother's eyes, but only a kind of tranquility.

This made Chu Wendao's hypocritical indifference gradually disintegrate. He thought that he didn't need to pretend in front of the closest people at all.Maybe, he thought, he could be presumptuous.

"Mom..." He said it again, his voice trembling slightly, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

Chu Wendao apologized for hurting his parents.

For that one person, he came out to them who loved him the most.No matter how broad the knowledge and how open-minded they are, they are still traditional Chinese parents.Chu's father and Chu's mother never blamed him. They thought that if Chu Wendao could be happy and happy, the rest would be irrelevant.

Chu Wendao knew very well that his parents seemed to have grown old after that night.

Gentle hands stroked his back up and down, no matter how many years had passed, his mother was still trying to comfort him like that.And miraculously, he found it less unbearable.

"Silly boy, you are just being yourself." Mother Chu said, "No matter what your choice is, your father and I will support you."

Chu Wendao covered his face, his eyes hurt, but nothing came out.