Give a bellflower to the drowning ghost

74

Their car finally drove into a more prosperous city.

The scenery of the mountains and the sea was left behind early in the morning, and then the farmland and small factories and workshops were gradually reduced, replaced by sound insulation tapes reflecting light and continuous high-rise buildings.The expressway straddles the road, and countless vehicles are speeding on it, which together become the blood vessels of the city, delivering blood to this behemoth.

Wang Ze rubbed the corners of his eyes and said, "Okay... finally arrived here, let's find a place to spend the night first. We can arrive at the destination tomorrow, and then we can start sending you back the day after tomorrow."

The ranger said: "There's no need to hurry. I have plenty of time. It's better to stay here for a few more days to rest than to drive tired and die together in the end."

Wang Ze said pleasantly: "I didn't expect you to care about me so much. I was worried that you would not be able to adapt to a crowded environment."

The ranger decided to withdraw his concern: "Do you really think I'm a social barrier? I'm just too lazy to deal with it."

"That's not it." Wang Ze looked in a good mood, and his tired expression faded a lot. "You don't know how to refuse other people's requests at all, so you hide."

The ranger retorted: "I've driven you past a few times."

Wang Ze said: "It didn't work out, and in the end I was dependent on you."

The Ranger fidgeted with the seatbelt irritably.

Wang Ze glanced at him and said quickly, "I'm sorry."

Always the guy who apologizes as fast as he spouts bullshit.

The ranger said: "If you can use the refreshing energy of apologizing to think, maybe you can control your mouth."

Wang Ze shrugged: "Because I'm really not good at guessing other people's thoughts. If I don't ask directly, I don't know what other people think at all. If only I had the same eyesight as your lie detector .”

The ranger sighed softly, rolled down the car window, and let the wind blow away the embarrassment in the car a little.

"I'm not serious enough to help anyone," he said.

Wang Ze said purely: "Just looking pitiful will soften your heart. It's definitely not a sacrifice complex, right."

The ranger said, "...No."

Wang Ze gripped the steering wheel tightly.

The ranger leaned on the seat and muttered to himself, "It's just trying to make myself useful in this world through this method."

Wang Ze said, "Maybe it's the reason."

He drove the car out of the toll booth and rushed into the bustling lights and feasting.

Just when the forest ranger thought that this embarrassing topic was finally over, Wang Ze suddenly said again: "But, you didn't feel that you were worthless from the beginning and had to play the role of a ranger who controls the lives and deaths of others, right?"

He said: "Is there any opportunity for you to have this... not a sense of responsibility that you can be proud of, right?"

75

The tenth letter was transcribed on willow-leaf-patterned letter paper.

To you who have never met:

Your last letter mentioned a very challenging question - about how to speculate on the inner world of others.

In fact, humans have never stopped research in this area:

Most people are obsessed with divination such as zodiac signs and zodiac signs, expecting to confirm a person's personality and attitude towards things through the date of birth, such as Gemini is passionate, Taurus keeps money, and so on.This is a very interesting phenomenon. After all, constellations have such a wide audience that one can't help but wonder, are most people in this world tired of the process of understanding others?As a result, I can't wait to classify others into those twelve personalities, and I'm even tired of shaping my own character, and even my own preferences are determined by the date of birth.

Of course, there are also more systematic disciplines that study the sincerity of human beings hidden under the facial muscles, such as the recognition of facial expressions and body language, as well as a wide variety of personality tests with an astonishing amount of questions.I have attached the last page of reference books in this regard, you should be able to find these interesting knowledge in the library, but I hope you just use it as a reference, because the human heart is always complex and changeable, and you should not give up One's own thinking will depend on theoretical knowledge.

So you are not the only one who feels anxious about the sincerity of others. This is probably the anxiety of all human beings.

But few people feel as hard, or even troubled, as you are trying to figure out your mother's heart.

Most children are well aware of their parents' wishes.Of course, it does not mean that children are all masters of psychology, but because parents will project their wishes on their children and train them in an ideal direction.In many cases, children only need to examine themselves to guess the desires of their parents.

When you examine your own personality and preferences, what can you draw?

If not, then I can only sadly infer:

Reason one: Your mother is so busy that you don't communicate enough.

If this is the case, rather than trying to guess yourself, it is better to find an opportunity to have a long talk between mother and child.No matter what kind of emotional relationship, the most important thing is always communication.

Reason [-]: Your mother didn't ask too much of you.

This is also a good thing, after all, letting children develop freely can be regarded as enlightened.But if her openness is causing you anxiety, then I don't think that's an appropriate parent-child relationship.

What happened, or has something built up so much that you have questions like this?

If you don't mind, look forward to getting further understanding in your letter.

76

After a tiring journey, they arrived at the hotel that Wang Ze had reserved, and they wolfed down some hot food.

Compared with the forest rangers who visited a big city for the first time, Wang Ze felt more deeply about the feasting and feasting, and his thoughts seemed to be trapped by something.The forest ranger looked at his expression and knew that his sentence of "not daring to go" yesterday was definitely not an excuse.

When he opened the guest room, Wang Ze kicked off his shoes and threw himself on the fluffy and dry bed: "I'm exhausted, you go take a shower first, I have to lie down and take it easy."

The ranger saw him lying on the bed in large characters, soft like a pillow, and felt cute on him for the first time, but he didn't think much about it, put down his notebook, rummaged for a change of clothes, and went to the bathroom .

When the bathroom door was closed, Wang Ze lifted half of his face from the mattress, glanced at the loose-leaf book that he had flipped through countless times, got up, grabbed the book to his side, and lay down again.

He put one hand on the cover of the loose-leaf book, curled up and closed his eyes.

77

Unlike Wang Ze who took a short nap, the forest ranger is very focused at this moment.

He stood in front of the bathtub with his clothes on, staring at the upper and lower switches.

He grew up in the mountains, and he had never seen such a thing as a bathtub.He cautiously stretched out his hand and turned on the switch under the shower. It turned out that the faucet next to the bathtub sprayed hot water. The water temperature was quite high, so he quickly turned the switch back.

Then it should be the switch below to turn on the shower...

The Ranger bent down and reached out to touch the switch.

Then I was sprayed with water all over my face.

78

Just as Wang Ze fell into a light sleep, he got up and went to have a look when he heard the sound of "Bah bah bah" coming from the bathroom.As a result, the forest ranger pressed the switch tightly with his hands, and cold water covered his hair and body, as if he had just been fished out of the lake.

Wang Ze couldn't help laughing: "I know you are in good health, so you don't need to take a cold shower with your clothes on."

The ranger turned his head and glared at him angrily: "Teach me how to use it quickly, or I will turn on the water and spray you all over."

Wang Ze simply demonstrated in which direction the handle should be turned, where the water temperature is more suitable, and which silver bottle contains bath liquid and which is shampoo.The forest ranger folded his hands on his chest, dripping water from his hair, he responded sullenly, and completely lost the arrogance he used to have in the mountains.

Wang Ze said: "The design of hotels is almost the same. Stand a little farther away before washing and try each one. It's easy to learn. It's just the first time you see it."

The ranger frowned and said, "Then tell me first, what else is particularly difficult to learn in this city?"

Wang Ze thought for a while: "Learn to make money. I have a classmate. His dream is to buy a house without the help of his family."

"It's not hard for you," said the ranger.

Wang Ze said: "I am just a poor student. If I didn't rely on my family, I wouldn't even be able to eat."

But you rely on your family and drive a car to live in a luxury hotel.

The ranger also probably felt that his family was complicated, so he didn't delve too deeply into it: "Then what do you think is the most difficult thing?"

"Me?" Wang Ze stood upright beside the ranger, "I think it's the hardest thing not to hate myself."

"No matter what happens, you will not castigate yourself because you are powerless, and you will not repeatedly regret because of your mistakes. No matter what happens, you want to keep your chest up and live, which is the most difficult thing."

79

The ranger took a comfortable hot bath.

He washes his body directly in the lake in summer, but in winter he has to grit his teeth and go swimming, or he can patiently boil pot after pot of hot water. Many times, the water in the bucket is cold when the third pot is boiled.The hot water here can also adjust the water temperature by itself, which is very convenient.

He sat on the sofa and flipped through Wang Ze's notebook. There were so many letters. The paper ranged from yellow and fragile to white and brand new. It can be imagined that these letters lasted for several years and accompanied Wang Ze's growth all the way.

"what do you think?"

Wang Ze also came out steaming from the wash. He was only wearing a bathrobe and was drying his hair with a towel in his hands. When he saw the forest ranger reading the letter, he walked over carelessly. He smelled the same bath liquid smell as his own.

Wang Ze bent down, the water droplets from his hair dripped on the ranger's arm, and the ranger was a little dazed: "What's wrong?"

Wang Ze glanced at the ranger, thinking that he was probably sleepy too: "What do you think of him treating me?"

The ranger had also seen the writer's handwritten letters, but the thick book was full of letters in the writer's beautiful handwriting, and he also became envious: "He cares about you very much."

Although they had lived together for a few months, the writer at that time was not in good condition, so naturally there were not many in-depth conversations.From this letter, I can feel that the writer has a lot of knowledge, and I think he was also an admirable man before he fell ill.

In fact, even when his condition was unstable, the ranger changed his principles repeatedly for him.

A writer is naturally a charismatic person.

A person may reply to a letter to comfort a bewildered child out of a moment of compassion, but it is difficult to persist for several years, even asking the other person's thoughts, teaching knowledge and providing reference books while expressing one's own opinions.Wang Ze, who is standing beside him today, absolutely cannot do without the writer's explanation and teaching.

Sitting in front of the ranger, Wang Ze tore off the towel: "I thought so too, but until his editor issued the obituary, I never heard him say that he was tired of this world. Even... as you said at the beginning Said, before he died, I didn't even know his real name."

He is too used to accepting the other party's kindness, and he is too addicted to venting to the only window, so that he only has himself in his eyes.

"I know everything about him, but I don't know anything about him."

"It took him almost ten years to write me letters one by one, but after his death, there was no message left for me, not a single word."

Wang Ze raised the corner of his mouth and said bitterly: "Besides, I found out later that I am not the only close pen pal of his."