Give a bellflower to the drowning ghost

102

"Although I don't think it's possible," said the ranger, "are you so nervous every time you see your mother?"

Wang Ze leaned against the door, his hand still pressed tightly on the door lock: "The last time I saw her was during Chinese New Year, I sent her New Year's greetings via video chat, and that time she only chatted for 5 minutes because of something urgent. .”

The ranger said: "You reacted too much, I thought she would give me a blank check the next moment and ask me to break up with you."

Wang Ze smiled wryly, and said tiredly: "She said she would give a gift to my high school classmates, but the next day she turned my best friend into a bodyguard intern. I'm really worried that you will sign a three-year contract tomorrow." Gardener's contract."

"I already have a job," the ranger said.

Wang Ze said, "She can make you an unemployed person."

The ranger put on a hurt expression: "I thought your family was really grateful to me."

Wang Ze raised the corner of his mouth: "No, she hates you so much, she wished that I had gone back to school a few months earlier because I had nowhere to go."

103

Wang Ze's face recovered some blood, he pulled the stool in front of the desk and sat down.

The ranger asked, "So what do we do next, shall we escape through the window? Juliet."

Wang Ze rubbed his temples for himself: "No, you wait for me here, no matter what happens, you have to wait for me to take you out. I have to go down to talk to my mother in five minutes."

"Even if you're half dead just confronting her?" the Ranger pointed out.

Wang Ze groaned, and buried himself in the warm palm: "Don't mention it, what kind of bad idea did I think of last night..."

The ranger looked at Wang Ze's hair twirling: "I can really try to take you away."

Wang Ze exhaled, and took out a black USB flash drive from his pocket: "Thank you, but now is not the time."

When can we leave then?

After college?After a stable job?After having your own family?

Or are the parents getting old and passing away one after another?

The ranger suddenly realized that when Wang Ze felt pain for his family countless times, he was comforting himself like this, and then stayed where he was, continuing to tremble like a child.

104

No.11 letter, transcribed on letter paper with carnation pattern.

To you who have never met:

What I originally wanted to write was, "I'm sorry for how it ended".

But I want to say one last thing to you, since they say so, let him do it.

In terms of communicating with parents, as an older person, I have no experience to pass on to you, because my relationship with my mother is also very rigid, so that when she died of illness, I even felt relieved a feeling of.

As a negative teaching material, I would like to share my views with you.

In my opinion, "Children are the most important treasure of parents" is a lie.

Most parents are naturally protective of their blood, for whatever reason.But in fact, children are not always the first in the hearts of parents.And things like their dignity, their vanity, and their money compete with their kids on that competitive leaderboard.

I myself, in my father's mind, lost out to his second wife.In the mother's mind, she lost to her paranoia.

Not all parents love their children more than themselves.

If your parents don't want to "waste" their precious time for you, then it's not your fault or that you didn't try hard enough, it's just that your parents' attention was elsewhere.

Please keep your eyes on the distance, one day, you will find the one who regards you as a treasure.

105

I used to think you would be the "right man".

Probably those who follow you to commit suicide also think so.

106

Wang Ze closed the door.

He stepped on the wooden floor and heard his footsteps echoing in the hallway.This clean and spacious duplex will probably change hands soon due to recycling funds.

The "home" he used to live in was also so clean and tidy, with similar style of furniture. His parents would meet him in such a house and leave in a hurry.

After that home was also sold, Wang Ze decided to live in the school dormitory.

He walked down the stairs, and Mrs. Wang, who was sitting on the sofa, put away her laptop.

It's only a few minutes, does your work need to race against time to this extent?

Wang Ze controlled his expression and sat on the sofa opposite Mrs. Wang: "Mother."

As long as you don't judge the person in front of you with worldly family concepts, meeting her is actually not that painful.

Wang Ze showed a proud and gentle smile to his mother.

Although her long-lost son wanted to say something, Mrs. Wang still dominated the topic: "Did you come back this time because you simply wanted to visit relatives, or did you decide to continue your studies?"

Wang Ze said: "When the summer vacation is over, I will go back to school to go through the formalities for returning to school. I have already communicated with the teacher and said that as long as I pass the make-up exam, I don't need to repeat the grade."

Mrs. Wang said: "But the opportunity of overseas exchange has been missed, you know that."

Wang Ze said, "I know."

Mrs. Wang sighed: "If you miss many opportunities, you will never have them again."

Wang Ze lowered his gaze: "I know, I'm sorry."

I also know that you are the kind of person who values ​​his son's plans and future more than his sudden runaway from home.

But when confirming this again and again, there is still a kind of anger that has nowhere to vent.

107

In Wang Ze's room, which was considered a temporary shelter, the ranger opened up the contents of the USB drive.

There are twelve folders in it.

That is to say, there are twelve people, like Wang Ze, who regarded the writer as a spiritual pillar in their painful lives, and were in agony after the death of the writer.

Before meeting Wang Ze, the ranger had never thought about this.

He used to toss and turn countless nights, sometimes convinced that he was trying to free the writer, and sometimes unable to breathe because of his cowardice and guilt.

The writer said he had no family or friends, and he believed it.It wasn't until he touched Wang Ze's jealousy and resentment that he realized that he had also taken away the hope of these twelve people.

Among these twelve people, how many people chose to commit suicide?

And after they commit suicide, there will be people who are not important in their eyes, so they will feel pain.

If he had known these twelve people beforehand, would he still be able to make such a decision?

This is the human social relationship that he has escaped for a long time.

The ranger clicked on a folder called "I".

Inside are the letters written by Wang Ze in the past ten years, which were carefully collected by the writer.

108

I did a wrong thing today.

I accidentally let my friend slip that my parents didn't value me at all.

His family environment is not very good, and the tuition fees for his studies are earned by him working or setting up a stall. As far as he is concerned, as long as his father does not use all the money to gamble, he is lucky.Hearing what I said, he said in a tone that made me uncomfortable, "They gave you so much money, and you are still dissatisfied? How greedy are you!"

I hate this logic.It's like as long as there are people who are miserable than me, I have no right to be unhappy.Is happiness comparable?Could he be grateful to his father when he compared with those who starved to death because of poverty?

But he also said something that really caught my attention.He said: "If you are so dissatisfied with your parents, then run away from home and renew on your own like me."

His eyes said that he didn't believe that a pampered young master like me could suffer.But I also really didn't have the confidence to support myself with a high school degree.Realizing that I can only complain and then take my parents' money with confidence is very disheartening.

Maybe I am the employee who contributes the least under my parents. With a good salary, I haven't even played my role well.

But I really want that kind of family relationship in cartoons, the kind of mother who finds time to go to her son's parent-teacher conference even if she is very busy at work.

Wouldn't it be weird if this employee benefit was removed because my salary was too high?