Give a bellflower to the drowning ghost

109

The long-lost conversation between mother and son lasted only a short time.

Mrs. Wang opened the last topic.She adjusted her sitting posture, caressing the rim of the teacup absently: "You changed it to an afternoon appointment, right? I'll ask Xiao Chen to drive you there after you have a meal, and I can make it in time."

Wang Ze's pretended calmness was instantly broken.He felt his throat tighten, and forced out a sentence from his lips: "...Thank you."

Mrs. Wang held up the teacup, and the water vapor blurred her facial features: "Why do you want to see your uncle?"

Wang Ze only felt that Mrs. Wang had ripped off a layer of face, and it was difficult for him to speak directly to the forest ranger, so Mrs. Wang naturally spread it out.

Mrs. Wang said: "It's been almost ten years. You used to be scared even when your father mentioned that person, and you never went to see him."

Wang Ze said: "...Mom often visits little uncle."

Mrs. Wang gently stirred the black tea with a teaspoon: "After all, he is a real brother, but I haven't been there for many years."

She put down the teacup: "you don't need to ask him for me."

Even the brothers who are connected by blood, she is so calm.

Wang Ze heard himself say, "Okay."

Mom, Ranger, can you tell me one thing?

How can I be betrayed without being sad?

Everyone can easily let go and move forward decisively to start a new life. Only I am still lingering in the same place, suffering for those irreparable people.

110

Mother hasn't seen my little uncle in the past six months. This is what the aunts at home said.

After knowing this, I had a dream.

After waking up, I remembered a little detail of the last time I saw my little uncle.

At the beginning, the little uncle said that he would take me to the amusement park last time.He didn't drive his favorite car, so I slept uncomfortably in the backseat and woke up locked in a dirty room.

The room was locked and the windows were covered with newspapers, so I could only tell the time by the brightness of the light.Only very rarely did adults come in to see me, and the rest of the time I could only stick on the door panel and eavesdrop on what they said.

On the first day, I was scared and cried by the people around my little uncle, but my little uncle hugged me on his lap, let me hold the warm carton of milk to calm down, and he touched me with his big warm hand I accidentally pulled out my hair because of too much force.

But from the fourth day on, my little uncle started ignoring me.Some uncles took me outside, kicked me and asked me with a smile if I was an uncle or a father.

I cried and lay on the ground, protecting my stomach, and kept yelling, "It's uncle's good."

But the little uncle just sat in the corner of the room, only smoking and not talking.Until they got tired of playing and threw me back into the room, I could still hear their laughter and my little uncle calling me an old bastard.

About No.12, three days later, my little uncle hugged me on his lap again, and I thought he was going to save me.But he put a video camera in front of him, and then put my hand in a strange tool, peeled off my nails, and put it in the envelope.I bled almost as much as tears, but the little uncle just wrapped my hands and locked me in the room again.

No. 15 days, I was finally rescued by the police.

In the end, I found out that it was my father who was blackmailed by my uncle, but my father still refused to pay the ransom after receiving the threatening letter.It wasn't until the mother who came back from a business trip abroad found out that she called the police.

The luckiest thing in my life is that I didn't die in this kidnapping.

The most unfortunate thing in my life is that I was betrayed by the person I love the most.

I was told that I was not the child of parents who loved each other.Grandpa told his mother and uncle that whoever gets married first can inherit his company.The little uncle rejected his grandfather's proposal, and said that his mother would make the same choice as him.And mom found dad and gave birth to me.

Maybe this is why my parents don't care about me at all.

But my little uncle once loved me. Compared with the parents who are often away, he is closer to the kind of family in cartoons. He will take me to play and keep secrets with me.

But at that time, he seemed to be a different person, bringing me the most painful memories in my life, not only physically, but also spiritually.For the better part of a year after that incident, I was terrified to yell whenever I was alone with grown men.

And the father who refused to pay the ransom and was called an old bastard by my uncle made me even more disgusted.The father betrayed his fiancée for money.After marrying his mother, he secretly brought his fiancée back to the company as a secretary to play with the office romance.

Then the little uncle sent me photos of his cheating, just to laugh at the only sister who would visit him.

Even though I realize that none of my family loves me, I have no regrets and I don't think it would be better to die before knowing the truth.

I was just terrified, very terrified.

That's all for now, I started writing this letter when I woke up in the middle of the night.Even though I remembered such a thing, I still worried that I would be late for school later, which is incredible.

Perhaps, my seemingly normal classmates also have many dark secrets.

111

Thank you for that book, it is the best gift I have ever received in my life!

112

A few years later, Wang Ze experienced the feeling of being betrayed again.The ranger told him it wasn't a betrayal because they weren't friends.

The writer wrote a book to unravel his knot, and he gave nothing back.

He regretted it this time.

113

Hearing the sound of the door lock being unscrewed, the ranger subconsciously closed the laptop.But he saw Wang Ze walk in with a blank face, lay down on the bed, and buried his face in the pillow.

Wang Ze's voice came from the quilt: "My mother is gone."

The ranger said, "Thanks for your hard work."

Wang Ze said: "Someone here has cooked rice, do you want to eat?"

The ranger let go of the mouse: "I have no appetite for now."

Wang Ze said: "Me too, I really can't whet my appetite here."

After a while, Wang Ze raised his head from between the pillows.He said in a low voice: "My mother arranged a car for me to take me there...to see my uncle."

The ranger thought for a while, got up from the stool, and sat next to Wang Ze.

Wang Ze lay on his back, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes: "I am so ashamed now."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," said the ranger.

Wang Ze said: "Even if he almost killed me before? Thinking about it this way, I feel like a masochist, and I guess everyone here knows about it."

The ranger said: "Your mother has done the same thing. Besides, if you care about what other people think of you, you need to sign for approval even when you breathe."

Wang Ze rubbed his face: "Mother just abused herself for a while... Forget it, compared to the previous suspension of school, this is nothing at all."

114

In the past few days, while the forest ranger changed his impression of the writer, he also got to know Wang Ze again.Wang Ze stretched out his suppressed emotions for a long time, and showed them in front of the forest rangers without any cover.

Wang Ze said: "It happened a few months ago. I was reading a book in the university dormitory. Suddenly, my roommate told me that the writer I liked very much committed suicide. I told my roommate at the time that it must be misinformation or spreading rumors again. This is impossible. it is true."

But it's true.

"Later, I couldn't study at all, and I couldn't even do basic things like eating and sleeping. I thought he must not have committed suicide, and there must be something hidden that hasn't been discovered. So I came to this city to buy his Relics, I tried my best to find out about him. Then one day the counselor called me and asked when I would prepare the materials for overseas exchange students."

Wang Ze showed a bitter smile: "I was dizzy at the time, so I told the counselor directly that my friend died, so I planned to give up the opportunity to exchange students, and I wanted to go through the formalities of suspending school. The counselor probably was very nervous at the time. Haha, he actually said something directly—'Just for this matter'?"

The ranger held his breath.

Wang Ze said: "I was stunned at the time, and I couldn't tell what it was like. His words reminded me that my mother probably thought the same way as the counselor. I felt that a pen pal I had never met had left. After being sad, I should continue my studies. And work, or everyone else thinks so, there's no need to pass up a great opportunity because of 'this kind of thing'. But I can't, I can't be like everyone else, just let it go, I can't let it go, how Maybe let it go!!"

Wang Ze unconsciously crumpled the bed sheet.

The ranger took a few tissues and handed them to Wang Ze.Wang Ze blushed and his eyes filled with tears: "If I was injured in a car accident, probably everyone would agree that I can't go to class normally. But why do they only think that my heart is hurt? It’s too big, it’s unnecessary!? Just because I’m rich, I’m not entitled to feel sad and dissatisfied?!”

If there are no visible wounds on the body, others will not know their pain, and they will get a few sarcastic remarks because of their good family background-"rich people are really good, if they give up a great opportunity, they will give up."

Wang Ze also knows that it is good to be rich. If you are rich, you can have a luxury car for transportation, and you can not worry about food and clothing.

Everyone thinks money is good.

So his parents bonded even without any affection.

So his little uncle kidnapped and abused him.

So his friends feel that he should not be dissatisfied with his rich parents.

So even if his best friend dies suddenly, he should not have a psychological barrier because of it.

But this is not possible.

Wang Ze clenched his fists and asked himself in pain: "I can't do it... I really can't do it. I don't even know the reason why he committed suicide. How can I continue to live like a normal person?"

The ranger thought for a while, and finally said: "If you can't do it, then let's do it."

Wang Ze turned his head to stare at the ranger with a wet face, and the ranger took out a few more tissues to wipe Wang Ze's face full of tears.

"I couldn't do it either," the ranger said. "My adoptive father committed suicide. I couldn't overcome the guilt, so I hid in the mountains. Then I did the same thing again, and I didn't even know what my real responsibility was."

But Wang Ze is different from him. He has been trying to change, faced everything frankly, and actively carried out psychological self-healing. While saving himself, he also saved him.

Wang Ze can understand his despair, and he can also understand Wang Ze's pain.

The ranger said: "So I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. I admire you, really. Go see your uncle. No matter what the result is, I will support you."

The author has something to say:

Hi everyone, something terrible happened in March. I was stalked by a pervert near the place where I lived in a rented house. I was worried for a long time and had a very negative day. I hope I can cheer up.