Give a bellflower to the drowning ghost

173

"Wang Ze," the forest ranger said bitterly, "the writer is dead, and what you see is just an illusion."

The night wind howled past, Wang Ze felt chills all over, and just wanted to curl up and hide.

Wang Ze smiled at the ranger: "I know, it's just...well, I don't think I'm sober yet. I'll come right here."

He imitated the ranger's steps, did a round of warm-up exercises, and then walked to the starting point, unconsciously held his right hand with his left hand and placed it on his chest.

The forest ranger stood on the opposite bank, motionless, like a sculpture, watching Wang Ze's movements closely.

Wang Ze started running.

When Wang Ze took a step, the ranger knew he would fail.His exhalation rhythm was very chaotic, his steps were deep and then shallow, and he fell three meters away from the take-off point, rolling muddy water and grass leaves all over his body, but fortunately he did not fall directly into the water.

Wang Ze got up from the ground, his forearm was bruised, and the blood was slowly oozing out, which was almost indistinguishable in the darkness.

Stretch out a white finger from the grass and wipe away the blood.

Wang Ze pulled out a smile: "I already said that my feet are a little weak, look, you've made me lose face."

The hallucination smeared his blood on the back of Wang Ze's neck, and murmured in a low voice, "You failed because of your strong resistance."

Wang Ze stood up abruptly and wiped his face: "I'll try again."

Hallucination said: "It will fail too. You can't fool the ranger, and you can't fool yourself."

Wang Ze bent down and checked his ankle, but fortunately there was no sprain.

The hallucination said: "Just thinking about continuing the previous life after being saved, isn't it full of strength?"

Wang Ze murmured, "Shut up."

The ranger squeezed the flashlight in his hand.

The hallucination chuckled: "The forest ranger will suffer for the rest of his life. It's your fault. You tricked him down the mountain with sweet words before, but you forced him to watch you die. It's all your fault."

Wang Ze knelt down and hugged his body unconsciously, trying to absorb some heat.

"sorry."

He bit his lip bitterly, trembling all over.

"Sorry……"

174

Even if he jumped over and was saved, what should he do next?

There are no other goals.

Can't figure it out, just start doing the "right thing".

You have to go through the formalities for resuming school first, and go to the counselor who thinks that the death of a friend is nothing more than a trivial matter.

Then there is a make-up exam, and the chance of exchange students is gone, but at least you must be able to graduate, from this major that you don't like or hate.

Then you may have to take over part of the business.It doesn't matter, anyway, he has no other special interests, and it doesn't matter what kind of work he does.

After leaving the society, one day I will marry for profit, just like my mother.

Will raise children.

Maybe when the child grows up, he will also give up struggling in front of a swift river because he has no expectations for the future.

Wang Ze grabbed his hair with his hands, trying to drag this future out of his mind.

It hurts very much, my whole body hurts, but even so, I can't let go of this thought.

What should I do to convince myself that my future life will be better than it is now?

175

The forest ranger raised the flashlight and illuminated the ground, drawing Wang Ze's attention to the light source.

The forest ranger looked very tired, but his tone was firm, and the words came to Wang Ze's ears clearly.

He said, "Wang Ze, do you have any wishes?"

Wang Ze let go of his hand, and stiffly maintained the original movement, only turning his head and staring at the ranger in a daze.

The ranger said, "Jump over to me, and whatever you want, I'll make it come true for you."

Wang Ze chuckled dryly: "Even if I want the moon in the sky?"

"I'm talking about your real wishes," said the ranger.

The ranger walked to the shore, his overlong hair sticking to his neck with sweat, exposing his shoulders and scapular muscles.Obviously, the body that has experienced torture with him has become the only light source in the world in Wang Ze's eyes.

"I will do anything to keep you alive," the ranger said.

176

Wang Ze said hastily: "I have no wish." He grabbed his hand awkwardly and twisted his fingers tightly.

He is not short of money.

He couldn't have chosen his parents.

The dead can no longer come back.

He needs nothing, so there is nothing left to lose.

The ranger looked into Wang Ze's eyes: "If you didn't have one, you wouldn't look so miserable."

Wang Ze's eyes turned red anxiously: "You go, go quickly, don't stand here waiting to die, my wish now is that you hurry down the mountain and go home."

The ranger still holds the flashlight, unwavering.

He said, "You're lying."

Tears poured out uncontrollably, and Wang Ze pleaded: "Don't do this, don't embarrass me like this, please? Please."

"Whatever you want, it won't be something that embarrasses you," the Ranger said.

177

How could it not be embarrassing.

There is no despair unless there is no hope.

He had already accepted his fate, even his parents couldn't satisfy him.

Even if you try to play a normal person, what you get is nothing but something born of falsehood.

It is only by abandoning this despair that he has survived until now.

The shame would kill him if the thought even occurred to him for a moment.

It's not that I'm not good enough, or that I'm not worthy.

Yes I don't need it.

178

The ranger must be lying to him, he just wants him to live, so...

But the Rangers need him to live.

The Ranger has always taken his word for it, accepted his pain and anger, and no matter how embarrassing the real him is, the Ranger will not back down.

Even with such a self, the ranger did not give up on him.

The ranger is willing to exchange everything, as long as Wang Ze lives.

179

The wind blows away the clouds, and the moonlight gently falls on the earth, illuminating the world of the two.

Wang Ze opened his mouth, and he heard himself saying:

"Can you love me?"

180

The ranger froze.

Wang Ze felt that the blood all over his body was rushing to his face, he must have blushed ridiculously.He immediately corrected himself: "I didn't mean that, I was talking nonsense just now, what I mean is..."

Not entirely about money.

Not entirely about the body.

Not entirely about personality.

Want to be accepted, both in the bright parts and in the dark.

I want to be cared about, and I want to stay in the other person's eyes.

Wanting to be saved, even in trouble, someone will lend a helping hand to him.

want to be loved.

As long as you think of this possibility, you can live, you can face tomorrow, you can feel that you are worthwhile.

Wang Ze tore off his own face, he felt that he was completely naked.He held back the shame, and said desperately: "Even if I'm not your blood relative, I may be penniless in the future, become ugly when I get old, and even have a completely opposite personality... God, I might want to give up, but you can also pay attention to me... catch me?"

The ranger got it.

Maybe this is what he failed to bring to the writer back then, or maybe the writer doesn't care about these things, but the most important thing now is——

The ranger threw down the flashlight, and he stretched out his hands, trying to get as close to Wang Ze as possible.

He said to Wang Ze: "I will love you."

181

The heart is shaking with the world.

Wang Ze felt that his blood vessels were full of temperature again. He was immersed in a shivering heat from his toes to his scalp. He barely ran up, but ran towards the ranger.

Everything slowed down, the wind blew his hair up, he smelled the blood in his mouth, the injured part of his body was still giving out pain signals, the river swept away under his feet——

Then rangers caught him.

Catch him firmly, all of him.

Even if everything may change, or only the bad part remains unchanged, he will remember for the rest of his life that at this moment, there is such a person who loves him now.

As long as this person has existed.

Wang Ze hugged the ranger's back and said tremblingly, "I love you too."