whether to decide, no further contact

*Rain on May 5

It's been raining lightly all day today, and it's neither refreshing nor soothing like a drizzle.

It's the kind of rain that is neither big nor small and has no aesthetic feeling at all, matched with the cloudy sky, it rains endlessly, just like my mood at the moment.

It's just - annoying!

God damn the weather forecast! I thought so, but I never dared to say it, because the upbringing of the Shangguan family, the status of the Shangguan family, and the old men of the Shangguan family who claimed to be aristocrats would never tolerate—— ——Go to her mother's Shangguan's house!

The eldest brother went to prison for fighting and murdering, the wedding was cancelled, and that stupid goose actually got into a car accident.

I really can't lose anymore!

bother!!!

#####

*Overcast on May 5

The eldest brother was released on bail, the expected result, poor bastard, he died as well—who can beat the Shangguan family?

It's been two days since the wedding was cancelled, and it doesn't feel like much.I don't like that groom, but I don't hate him either. I just think that when it's time to talk about marriage, he is the most suitable person.

Gentle, rich, loves me very much, and my family is quite satisfied, this is enough...

It's just that I can't tell what it's like, and I feel weird in my heart.

#####

*Sunny on May 5

Today, Mi Quan's parents came to make trouble. Through the fence, I looked coldly at Mi Quan's mother who was stopped by the bodyguard, her eyes were red, and she was madly trying to rush towards me.

"Don't think it's great to have two stinky money in your family! If there is something wrong with my daughter, I will never end with you!"

I frowned and turned back to my bedroom, there will be people from Shangguan's family outside to take care of it, and I don't need to pay attention to it.

But her mother's words were always lingering in my ears, and I suddenly remembered, ah! I still have such a friend who was in a car accident.

It's been a week since the car accident, why is her mother making trouble now?

Thinking of that stupid person, he seems to like me, right?

Knowing that she was in a car accident, I never thought of going to visit her.

Suddenly I feel like a scumbag.

# # # # # #

*May 5

Mi Quan's mother never came again, but my fiancé Hao Nan often came to me, but I refused all of them with various excuses.

I want to be alone.

I asked Uncle Liu to go to the hospital to check on Mi Quan's affairs. Uncle Liu said that Mi Quan's mother refused his money with a cold face and kicked him out of the ward unceremoniously.

As expected, it is quite similar to Mi Quan's temperament.

Mi Quan was hit on the way to my wedding, and he hasn't woken up yet. Speaking of which, Mi Quan was injured for me not once or twice.The doctor said that the dangerous period has passed, but whether he can wake up or not depends entirely on luck.

The euphemism is nothing but a death sentence for Mi Quan as a vegetative state.

My heart is blocked.

# # # # # # #

*Rain on May 5

I have become more and more strange recently, endless loneliness, obviously the same friends as before, the same smiling faces, and the same greetings.

False, all false! A voice screamed in my heart, impacting my brain.

I hang the same smile to cater, to play, to relax.

It wasn't until my face slowly became stiff that I realized belatedly that I was not relaxing at all, but coping.

Even in the crowds, places like bar karaoke, no matter how noisy the surroundings are, I still feel lonely.

This feeling has not passed for a long time.

I'm starting to get lost, probably....I'm tired.

########

*June 6, cloudy

Today is a special day for thousands of people—after all, the college entrance examination.

I don't care. Haonan came to me at noon as usual. I saw him for the first time in a month. Facing his childlike joyful face, I just uttered three words coldly: break up

I don't care about his wounded and furious questioning, anyway, there will be bodyguards stopping him, so he is fearless.

I'm just tired, bored, and just like the boyfriends I used to be, I don't want to spend time dealing with it when I'm out of interest.

What's more, his emotional intelligence is worrying, and he bothers me every day when I want to be quiet,

Maybe it's cruel, there's nothing I can do about it, I'm probably just such a disgusting woman.

I subconsciously wanted to call Mi Quan, and suddenly I tapped my hand, and then I remembered that I don't know how she is doing recently.

No one answered the phone for a long time. This kind of situation has never happened before. Remembering that I always answered in seconds before, I suddenly felt a little irritable.

By the way, maybe she hasn't woken up yet.

I put down the phone, and it seemed that Mi Quan's deep and gentle voice sounded in my ears again, and I suddenly felt a little lost.

# # # # # # #

*Sunny on May 6

Today I started looking through old photos when I was bored, probably because I have been lonely for a long time, and I want to find some sense of fulfillment from those old photos.

But the result made me very disappointed. Some of the pictures I took with countless boyfriends didn’t even come to my mind.Photos of parties, parties, and banquets.

Even though the me above is so glamorous, I feel disgusted from the bottom of my heart.

Each of these photos is labeled as Shangguan's family, and each of the smiling faces, including myself, is not real.

This disgusting hypocrisy!

The last photo in the photo album is an old photo with some yellowing. On it is a group photo of two people.

Mi Quan, who was wearing a school uniform, grinned a little foolishly, while I was on the side with disdain and impatience.

Yes, this is the real me.

Although it’s just a photo of an elementary school, the me on it is both familiar and unfamiliar. It’s not the impeccable smile of the Shangguan’s daughter, but a kind of expression that ordinary people would show, other than smiles.

Although this expression is not so flattering.

There was still an uncontrollable sense of fulfillment in my heart, looking at Mi Quan's immature and chubby smiling face in the photo, I was in a daze for no reason.

It seems that I have never, in the true sense, looked directly at this person who is always dangling by my side...

In my impression, it seems that Mi Quan has existed since I can remember, and I don't remember when I met her, but I got used to her existence naturally.

She is a very reserved person, she seems to understand me very well, she always appears or disappears at just the right time, it is very comfortable to get along with her.

She seems to have never disobeyed me, and she is tolerant blindly, but she is different from those who follow the lead. Over time, I seem to be sure that she will not leave. If I lose my temper at her, she is not angry, but just bears it. The seemingly cowardly look made me even more annoyed.

A person who pretends for a long time will get tired, but in front of her, I can be the most authentic self.

I don't know when I found out that she likes me. I didn't think it was strange, but I felt a sudden feeling.

That's right, otherwise, no one will be mad at you without asking for money or profit.

But if she doesn't say anything, it's even more impossible for me to order it. Anyway, I can't promise anything. Not to mention it, it's quite enjoyable to have such a person who understands you and loves you unconditionally.

I'm not even ashamed of myself.

# # # # # # #

*Sunny on May 7

I may be sick, and I am getting more and more tired of this kind of dinner party every day, and I am also tired of shopping with the daughters of the uncles and uncles——Walking around is actually showing off in disguise.

I myself admire myself, how I survived so many years ago.

Perhaps, there is one person missing... I haven't vented for a long time.

I started to miss Miquan a bit.

# # # # # # #

*Overcast on May 7

People are like this, life is too boring, always think about something.

I recalled my life in the past [-] years, and I was surprised to find that almost every place worth remembering has Miquan.

Mi Quan, who wears school uniform all year round, doesn't know how to make up or dress up, is always so rustic and disgusting.

I'm probably sick.

########

*Sunny on May 8

Mi Quan... Mi Quan, this person has been haunting my mind for the past two days.

It's like playing a memoir, even if I don't want to, when I fall asleep, every bit of the pictures I remember or don't remember will drift from my mind one by one.

Some are real, some, may just be unreal.

I think, looking directly at my heart, I probably also like her a little bit.

########

*Sunny on May 8

Uncle Liu told me today that Mi Quan's family moved to City B about a week ago.

I was very angry, why have I been awake for so long, and didn't call me, I felt a feeling of being betrayed inexplicably.

I took the phone, hesitated for a while, and then dialed.

There was a beeping sound, and after a while, the phone was connected.

"Hello?" A gentle and familiar voice sounded, and the grievances accumulated over the past few months burst out, and for a moment, I suddenly felt like crying.

"I'm so courageous, you don't know how to call me, are you a pig!" My heart felt relieved, the loneliness of months seemed to be released, and the sense of fulfillment made me sincere for the first time in months. felt happy.

The other side was silent for a while, and I slowly froze in place, and the anxiety in my heart expanded little by little.

"Did we.....be familiar with each other before?" A confused voice stung my eardrums.

"Who is it?" A sweet and quiet voice.

"I don't know, probably a typo."

"..." I held the phone, feeling a chill in my heart.

# # # # # # #

*Sunny on May 8

I was ill, with a high fever of 39.5, and my family felt like an enemy, and my personal doctor took care of me in a cold sweat.Not long after, those who got the news came to "express their condolences" one after another. The mobile phone kept ringing. I didn't need to look at it. I knew it was a group of people I didn't even know who they were. falsehood.

Really bored!

Mi Quan's voice was still around my ears yesterday, and I also returned from the initial anger to the current rationality.

That's right, what am I, in front of her, I am the least qualified to lose my temper.

It's just that I still can't help pantothenic acid in my heart. I have lived for 25 years, and I have almost never experienced this feeling.

I am always used to being superior, and seem to have forgotten the phrase that everyone is equal.

Mi Quan's love is too forbearing, too selfless, this kind of love is too terrible, so I just want to run away.

There is a saying, life is precious, love is more expensive, if it is for free care, both can be thrown away.

Shit!

I was lying on the bed, and these two words popped out of my mind reflexively.

It's ridiculous, I'm probably the only one in the whole world who only thinks about the tea he's had after it's cold, and then compliments himself on how delicious the tea is.

##########

*Sunny on May 8

I asked Uncle Liu to buy a house near Miquan's new home, and when my family objected, I stubbornly disobeyed their opinions for the first time and insisted on moving to City B.

They seemed a little surprised, but the grandpa who had the most right to speak didn't say anything, he just looked at me for a few seconds, then sighed, and said something out of nowhere,

Well, after all, you have to grow up.

That's right, I can't always be labeled as a Shangguan family, I think, live for myself once.

########

*Sunny on May 9

Today is the first day of successfully moving into a new home. The new home has already been decorated and all the furniture is available, but I feel that living alone is too big and less angry.

Mi Quan's face flashed in my mind, and I was shocked by my own thoughts.

It's just that once an idea arises, it will grow uncontrollably and savagely. At the end, I actually blushed and laughed in a low voice.

It turns out that liking someone is this kind of feeling. I touched my face and felt a little dazed.

# # # # # #

*Sunny on May 9

I saw her today.

It took more than an hour in the morning to dress up meticulously, and went out to meet by chance at the address given by Uncle Liu.

Judging from the rate of turning heads, the effect should be good, and I began to look forward to her seeing me.

But encounters are always so unexpected that I almost, almost didn't recognize them—thanks to a woman's strong sixth sense.

She cut her hair short and wore a set of cute casual T-shirts, making her look fresh and clean.

It's surprisingly good-looking-if it weren't for the girl next to her in a dazzling couple outfit.

I know that girl, Lin's second miss, Lin Chen.

In my impression, she was not very gregarious, but when I thought about it carefully, Mi Quan was present at the few activities she participated in.

She held Xin Fu with Mi Quan's face on her arm, and Mi Quan responded to her with a gentle smile as I was familiar with.

She also saw me, and a panic expression appeared on her usually calm face.

Mi Quan seemed to have noticed something, and looked in my direction, but was hurriedly pulled away by Lin Chen.

I sneered, and a strange emotion called jealousy hit my heart one after another.

Miquan can only be mine.

########

*Sunny on May 9

At noon today, Lin Chen asked me to meet at a coffee shop called Long-lost.

When I saw her, she didn't seem to have slept well, and there was a little tiredness on her peaceful face.

There was no nonsense or politeness, she asked me to leave straight to the point.

joke!

I didn't speak, just watched her eye circles turn red little by little, and finally wept bitterly.

This is a sign of her lack of confidence, and she also knows that the person Mi Quan loves is me.

Even though she lost her memory, that kind of love has already penetrated into her bones and become a subconscious habit.

I am very happy about this—there is nothing more pleasant than saying such words from the mouth of a rival in love,

Although it might be cruel to her.

I won't let go, I said, from now on, I want to live for myself.

##########

*Sunny on May 9

In the past two days, I have started to make frequent encounters, and I still remember the way she saw me for the first time——the whole uppercase is dazed.

Hahaha, so cute!

Now I can see her every day, sometimes alone, sometimes she and Lin Chen, but I have never met her parents, also, she always likes to live alone.

Lin Chen seemed to be getting more and more haggard day by day, and several times when she saw me, she forced her face to signal. I could see the gentle worry in Mi Quan's eyes, but she didn't seem to notice.

That tenderness has always belonged to me!

I told myself, don't be angry! No! Be angry!

But still, so angry!

##########

*Sunny on May 9

I can feel that Miquan is getting closer and closer to me.Every time she sees me, she makes a detour in a hurry, and every time she talks to her, she stammers and finds an excuse to leave, which seems a bit like running away.

I smiled recklessly with the corners of my mouth curled up. Doesn't this just show that I am special to her?

I find that I like her more and more!

########

*Overcast on May 10

I'm furious!

Today, as usual, I wanted to meet by chance, but ignored the fact that they are now a couple.

The bitch who ate alive for a day!

Although I have been a light bulb for a day in a very dishonest way, I have never been unable to get what I want since I was a child.

What's more, Mi Quan is the person I think I want.

I'm just taking back what's mine.

##########

*Sunny on May 10

Today I made an appointment with Mi Quan, but she refused, and I can feel her struggle through the screen.

I told her that the 18th is my birthday, can you come and accompany me.

She agreed, but said that she must bring Lin Chen with her.

Well, it's only a matter of time anyway.

not angry!

########

*Sunny on May 10

The past few days have been teased without pain or itching, and finally the day I was looking forward to - my 26th birthday.

Turned down all previous party activities, and rejected everyone including Shangguan's family.

This year's birthday, I just want to spend it with her alone.

Anyway, it is only a matter of minutes for the Shangguan family to make Lin Chen unable to come.

Mi Quan came after all, kept looking at the phone, and was slightly taken aback when he saw that I was the only one.

After a while, she answered the phone, and I knew that my goal had been achieved.

Sure enough, when she came back, she had a troubled face, her pretty brows were frowning, and she was obviously embarrassed.

I pretended not to know what was wrong with her, she said dejectedly that Lin Chen couldn't come because of something, then opened her mouth, hesitated to speak.

I knew her temper very well, and while I didn't care about it, I regretted it, and said with a lonely face, now you are the only one to accompany me on my birthday.

Sure enough, she closed her mouth with a embarrassed face, and sat there playing with her mobile phone in silence.

I'm a little out of breath,

This coward....no one else!

I am well aware of my own charm, and I have seen a lot of people's sophistication, and I know how to be the most seductive.

So I deliberately carried a hint of natural charm with every move I made, trying my best to... seduce.

inexplicably ashamed....

Those boyfriends in the past didn't have this kind of treatment, they were always rushing to please me, why should I bother to seduce?

It's a pity that in the end, just a little bit short, this guy still ran away.

Me! Wipe!

First time! Starting to doubt my charm.

##########

*Sunny on May 11

I haven't seen Mi Quan for several days, but when I saw her recently, she seemed very tired, and I suddenly felt a little distressed.

What a rice spring, let me taste all the feelings of the previous 25 years in just a few months.

I never saw Lin Chen's shadow by her side again, I knew I had succeeded.

Miquan will only be mine.

The author has something to say: there are two more chapters... and finally there is an article that I have completed!!!

Although no one read it....~(￣▽￣～)~Although....it is a short article_(:з」∠)_