add to the chaos

Qiu Cen came out of school and ran directly to the subway station.

He didn't think about anything, just suddenly wanted to do something.

Get off from the station in the urban area, go straight along the road that has been walked many times, and stop at the door of the psychological consultation room.

He hesitated for a while, lowered his eyes and didn't know what he was thinking about, and when he raised his eyes again, he stepped in the door.

His steps were steady and firm, as if he had a goal.

He needs to confirm one thing.

The little nurse at the front desk watched him walk over and asked, "Hi, do you have an appointment?"

Qiu Cen shook his head, "Is Dr. Li there?"

The little nurse was stunned for a moment, with a look of embarrassment on her face: "I'm sorry sir, Dr. Li is quite busy, we need to make an appointment in advance."

"No, I'm a family member of the patient, and I want to ask Dr. Li some questions."

Qiu Cen's face was very sincere, his eyes were shining, and he was very firm.

The little nurse let out an "ah", looking unsteady, she looked up at Qiu Cen, and said hesitantly: "Today, Dr. Li has an afternoon shift, and he arrived early, so he should be fine now...how about you go and see? "

Qiu Cen glanced at his watch, and it was already 12:30, so he smiled gratefully at the little nurse: "Thank you."

Then he turned and left, and went to Dr. Li's personal office.

Knocking on the door twice, "Come in" came from inside. Qiu Cen pushed the door open and entered. He saw Dr. Li sitting on the sofa, holding an open book in his hand, and his eyes had moved to the door.

"It's you?" Dr. Li raised his eyebrows curiously, "Isn't Li Tian here?"

Hearing his words, Qiu Cen frowned invisibly: "Only me."

"I'm sorry to disturb you at this time," he smiled guiltily, "I'm here today...for Li Tian."

"...I want to ask you how Li Tian is doing recently? How is the treatment? I'm worried about him..."

Dr. Li pointed to the other end of the sofa, and Qiu Cen sat down obediently, with worry all the time on his face.

"Why didn't he tell you himself?"

Qiu Cen smiled bitterly: "No."

"Is that so..."

Dr. Li thought for a while, and seemed to be considering whether to tell him the truth. When he looked up and saw that he seemed to be shrouded in loss and worry, he breathed a sigh of relief, and said gently, "Actually...it's very bad."

Qiu Cen raised his heart.

"You should know that he locked himself at home some time ago, and was sent to the hospital by his family. I went to see him once. At that time, he already had the idea of ​​committing suicide and was unwilling to communicate with others. As his The attending doctor, I tried to start the treatment, but I couldn’t hear any answers from him, as if I was isolated from the world... In desperation, I had to let him recuperate first—he was obviously still a young man, and at that time he looked like He is an old man in his dying years, his body functions are very poor, he can't even eat, and can only rely on infusion of nutrient solution... I can't imagine that he will become like that."

Dr. Li spread his hands, with pity on his face, it can be seen that he never wants to see such a scene again.

"But it's okay, I seem to have been discharged from the hospital recently. Today... I'm going to re-optimize the plan again, hoping it will be useful to him..." Dr. Li paused at this point, and secretly raised his eyes to look at Qiu Cen: "Can you tell me what happened? ? Don't look at me like that, I know it must have something to do with you."

Qiu Cen was taken aback, and his body trembled unconsciously.

want to escape.

Just from Dr. Li's brief words, he could imagine what Li Tian would be like during that time.

It feels like those words are like knives, piercing his body inch by inch, and turning the angle, cutting the flesh cruelly, the pain is near death.

"us…"

When he spoke again, Qiu Cen's voice was a little hoarse: "Separated...separated."

He thought that Dr. Li would be very surprised after hearing this, "Separate? How can we separate?!", like this.

But in fact, he accepted it very calmly, nodded slightly, and understood: "So it is like this."

This time it was Qiu Cen's turn to be surprised: "Aren't you surprised?"

Dr. Li spread his hands, "I know it's not a normal thing, or how can a person who still has confidence suddenly become unloved."

Qiu Cen smiled, very depressed, "It's my fault."

So he told the reason why he separated from Li Tian, ​​and Dr. Li made a gesture of listening carefully, nodding from time to time.

"So your idea is that even as a friend, you want to help him solve his psychological problems, but there is no way out yet."

"Yes," Qiu Cen nodded in agreement, "It's understandable, but I don't know how to approach him."

"I'm afraid he will reject me."

"Hmm..." Dr. Li clasped his hands between his knees, "Well, I'll give some guidance and hints to see if he can accept it."

"Okay." Qiu Cen nodded gratefully, "Then please call me."

"Ok."

After the conversation was over, Qiu Cen stood up and was about to leave. After a pause, he turned his head and said, "Thank you."

"No problem."

Dr. Li looked at the watch on his wrist, smiled, and got up to see him off.

Qiu Cen nodded, then turned and left.

He put his hand on the doorknob, opened the office door, raised his eyes, and suddenly a pair of eyes.

The whole person froze.

Then Dr. Li's surprised voice came from behind: "Isn't it 01:30, why are you here so early?"

After talking, he paused, looked at Qiu Cen, and then at the person at the door.

Gee.

What is the feeling of being caught on the spot for doing something bad?

Before he had time to say anything, Qiu Cen had already opened his mouth.

"plum……"

"Let it go." Li Tian turned his head away and interrupted him.

"... "

Qiu Cen lowered his eyes in disappointment, pursed his lips, raised his head again after a while, his eyes lingered on his clean ears and beautiful jawline, and said in a low voice, "I'll wait for you."

Then he sat on the rest chair by the door, closed his eyes and stopped talking.

Dr. Li's eyes lingered between the two, and finally looked at Li Tian and said, "Come in if you are here. Today can end early."

Li Tian followed him in, "It's too late, you are idle anyway."

"Tsk, I don't have any majesty at all..."

After Li Tian entered, he closed the door, and Qiu Cen couldn't hear the words behind him.

She can be calm and calm towards others, but she is indifferent when she sees him.

disappointment.

In fact, he hesitated at that moment just now, he was very guilty, and felt an inexplicable feeling of betraying Li Tian.

This feeling was similar to when he bumped into Chen Kanglin when he consulted privately. The flickering light in Li Tian's eyes made his heart tremble violently.

I don't know whether it's the surprise when I see someone I haven't seen for a long time, or the joy that the person I want to see suddenly appears in front of me.

He couldn't tell.

As long as Li Tian was involved, he couldn't calm down.

It seemed as long as a century had passed, Qiu Cen heard the "click" of the door next to him, and almost thought he was hallucinating.

Li Tian pushed the door and walked out, followed by Dr. Li.

Compared with not long ago, their positions have completely dropped.

Qiu Cen hurried forward, according to the precedent that Li Tian's body was so weak every time he received treatment that he could be blown down by a gust of wind, he raised his hand to support his arm.

Li Tian turned away unsurprisingly, dodged his hand, and didn't look at him.

Dr. Li obviously also saw these small movements, pretended not to know, and said haha: "Then you talk, I will rest for a while. See you later."

Before closing the door, he glanced at Li Tian, ​​as if a little worried.

It is quite helpless to be a psychiatrist for his sake.

"Okay, thank you."

Knowing his kindness, Qiu Cen responded and closed the door again.

The door returned to calm again, and neither of them spoke for a while, and the atmosphere was weird and quiet.

It's normal for Li Tian not to speak, but it's because Qiu Cen doesn't speak because he doesn't know what to say.

--How are you?

——Is it uncomfortable?

——Why didn’t you take good care of yourself?

——Can you still believe me?

These words are on the lips, but cannot be uttered.

Qiu Cen hooked the corners of his mouth in a self-deprecating manner, and simply stopped talking, focusing on Li Tian's face.

He has never seen his state when he was hospitalized, but now that he has been discharged from the hospital, compared to the last time he met, he is more than a little thinner.

Although it can't be said to be haggard, it always looks abrupt and unnatural.

Li Tian is not like this.

With little time to think, he opened his arms and hugged him.

Li Tian stood there straight, with deep eyes, still silent, letting him hug him like this.

The clothes in his hands were extra large, and he could feel his bony body through the thin fabric.

The thin layer of muscle attached to the skin was gone, and his whole body was soft, making him look weak.

"Let go." Li Tian said.

Qiu Cen suppressed the sorrow in his heart and said, "Then let me hold you."

Li Tim was silent, "... let go."

He clicked his tongue to make his voice sound normal: "Okay, okay, then I will follow you by the side."

Li Tian stopped talking, probably acquiescing.

Dr. Li is really reliable and useful for his guidance.

Qiu Cen let go of him, observed his expression secretly, secretly pleased.

better.

"Where are you going? Or go home on the 8th?" Qiu Cen asked.

The two walked side by side on the road, Li Tian didn't speak, Qiu Cen also felt that it was awkward for the two of them to be silent suddenly, this feeling made him very uncomfortable, and he had to find a topic.

"Number 8." Li Tian said.

"Oh." Qiu Cen nodded, "Aren't you tired?"

Every time he finished the treatment, he basically had no energy to do other things.

"good."

"Ok."

The two entered the subway station, swiped their cards and went downstairs, just in time for a subway to stop, so they walked in one after the other.

There were not many people in the subway, but they were all full. There were only a few people standing scattered in their carriage alone.

Qiu Cen stood next to the door, and Li Tian consciously stood beside him.

There was no words all the way.

Qiu Cen quietly observed Li Tian's expression through the reflection of the glass.

Luckily he didn't find it.

Li Tian was going to No. 8. When he got to the university station, he walked out. He took two steps and paused. He turned his head and saw Qiu Cen still standing in the carriage.

He raised his eyebrows, as if asking why he didn't come down.

Qiu Cen held on to the railing and blinked at him.

"I won't go, my mother is looking for me, let's go again next time I have a chance."

He. Mom didn't look for him at all.

Li Tian didn't expose him, but hesitated for a moment, turned and left.

The car door was slowly closed, Qiu Cen watched the thin and straight figure disappear around the corner, and quietly curled the corners of his mouth.Details really matter.

For example, when you are sick, someone tells you to take your medicine on time, or buy you cold water after you have your teeth pulled out. Someone cares about your every detail. Then you will know that you are really taken by this person. .These details will tell you who is in love with you and who is worthy of your efforts.

Qiu Cen doesn't know what's going on, but recently he likes the word "love" very much.

Obviously, he would feel ashamed and frivolous when he said it before, but now he feels that this word alone cannot express his feelings at all.

This is also a common problem among Chinese people. They often feel that "love" is ashamed to express, and they often stop at their lips and teeth, thinking that others understand what they mean.But in the end, it is completely different to say or not to say, and the speaker will be satisfied with the listener's heartache.

He must say this word to Li Tian.

Qiu Cen looked at the rows of advertisements flashing by outside the car window, and felt that one of the advertisements in the row of advertisements he was in now flashed by, but it was bright and unrestrained.

I am very satisfied.

that's enough.

He wants a lot, and he wants to get it bit by bit.